Turn Out The Lights
Steel Panther Lyrics

So you're big and kinda hairy
Despite your physical appearance, I am not deterred from wanting to engage in sexual activities with you.

Like a monkey at the zoo
Your appearance resembles that of a hairy primate that is frequently seen in captivity.

I don't care if you're a monkey
Your physical appearance does not affect my desire to engage in sexual activities with you.

With an ass that's red and blue
Even if you had a strange or unappealing physical attribute, I would still pursue sexual activities with you.

Cause I'm gonna fuck you doggy-style
I am planning to have sexual intercourse with you in a specific position.

The way chihuahua's do
I am going to engage in the sexual act with you in the same manner as a specific breed of dog.

But I got one request
Before we engage in sexual activities, I have a specific preference that I want to communicate to you.

That I just have to ask of you
It is important to me that you follow this one simple request before we proceed.

Turn out the lights
I want you to switch off the lights in the room so that the act can be more enjoyable for me.

Before you suck my dick
I want you to turn off the lights before I receive oral sex.

Someone beat you with an ugly stick
Your appearance is unattractive, and it is likely that you were hit with a proverbial 'ugly stick.'

I wanna fuck, but you make me sick, so
Despite my desire to have sex with you, your appearance and other factors make me feel disgusted.

So you think that I'm a loser
You believe that I am a failure or an individual with low social status.

Cause I used to be in Jail
You base this perception of me on the fact that I used to be incarcerated.

And I got my GED Diploma
I recently earned my General Education Development degree.

Last week in the mail
I received my GED diploma as recently as last week.

Well at least a man can exercise
Even if I am not socially successful, I can still engage in physical activities to stay healthy.

If he gets too fat
I can avoid becoming overweight if I take care of myself with a good diet and exercise.

But I got news for you
However, I have some information that I want to inform you about.

Your face will always look like that
You will always have an unattractive facial appearance that cannot change.

Before I take a ride
I want you to turn off the lights before I engage in a sexual act with you.

You don't seem to have a 'good side'
I do not find any part of your appearance to be particularly attractive or desirable.

Whip out a condom and the astro-glide
Before we engage in sexual activities, I want to prepare by using protection and lubricant.

I think I'm gonna hurl
I feel nauseous or sickened by something related to our sexual encounter.

Jesus Christ I hope that you're a girl
I am expressing hope that you are biologically female, likely due to my own sexual preferences.

Open your mouth, baby, here come the pearls
I am instructing you to open your mouth to receive ejaculatory fluid during our sexual activities.

Tell me when it's over
I want to be informed of when our sexual encounter is finished.

Please tell me you don't have VD
I am concerned about contracting a sexually transmitted disease from you and am requesting confirmation that you do not have one.

Thank god that it's over, yeah
I am relieved that our sexual encounter is finished.

Well we all have indiscretions
Everyone has made mistakes or regrettable choices in the past.

I think you're my BIGGEST yet
I believe that engaging in sexual activities with you is one of my most significant mistakes to date.

Had to roll you in some flour
I had to perform an unusual action to locate your sexual organs.

Just to find where you were wet
I needed to locate the area where you were aroused and secreting fluids.

This never would've happened
If we had made different choices, this sexual encounter would not have occurred.

If I hadn't lost that bet
It is likely that a wager or bet led to our decision to engage in sexual activities.

I wonder if our grand-kids
I am pondering the possibility of having future grandchildren in our family.

Will ask us how we met
It is possible that our future grandchildren will be curious about the way that we first encountered each other.

Girl it's way to bright
I want you to turn off the lights because they are too bright for me.

I don't wanna look at your cellulite
I do not find your physical appearance to be desirable, particularly due to the presence of cellulite.

There ain't nothing on your body that's tight
None of your physical attributes are particularly firm or toned.

Before you take off your clothes
I want you to turn off the lights before you begin to undress.

I wanna tie you up with some garden hose
I have a specific desire to restrain you using a garden hose during our sexual encounter.

Slap your tits and rub my balls on your nose
I have specific and unusual desires and fetishes that I want to engage in with you during our sexual encounter.

Before we do the deed
Before we engage in sexual activities, I have a request or condition that I want to communicate to you.

Before I cover your box with my seed
Before I ejaculate inside of you, I have one more request to make.

I'm gonna pound ya 'till ya fucking start to bleed, bitch
I have a violent and aggressive approach to sexual activities that I plan to bring to our encounter.