TRAFFIC
T. E. MIDNIGHT Lyrics

I don't know how to act When I'm off the pills
Without drugs, I don't know how to behave normally

But I don't seem to wanna feel Until I get my fill
I only want to feel emotions when I take drugs

Residue on my lap From the blunt but still
There are remnants of a drug on my lap from smoking

Mary Jane ain't enough To get my demons killed
Smoking weed doesn't suppress my inner demons

Did so much psychedelics I don't know what's real
Taking too many psychedelic drugs has made me unsure of reality

Eat the pain up every day Like a three course meal
I use drugs to cope with my pain every single day

Quit fighting with my momma Cause I know life will
I stopped arguing with my mom because I believe my dreams will come true and make everything better

Sort itself out When my dreams fulfilled
I think my problems will resolve themselves when my dreams come true

At least that's how I hope it is for real
I'm not sure if my hopes will become reality

I got too many issues In my mind to deal
My mind is consumed by too many problems to solve

With problems not Concerning my feels
I have other issues besides my personal emotions

But lately it's not like Like I could really feel
Recently, I have trouble feeling emotions like I used to

I'm way too numb to feel myself So how the hell you feel me
I am emotionally numb, so how can you empathize with me?

I'm poor in affection That's a love poverty
I lack love and affection from others

Fell victim to crimes That's four years I ain't see
I was a victim of a crime and didn't see those years

Rest in Peace to George Floyd It's always fuck the police
I am angry at police brutality and honor the memory of George Floyd

Walls suffocating me I can't really breathe
I feel trapped and suffocated by my circumstances

Got a pretty girl Scraping up her knees
I have a beautiful girl willing to do anything for me, even if it hurts her

Yeah she love how I move But she don't love me
My girl likes what I do, but doesn't actually love me

Popped two pills Now I'm off that leash
After taking two pills, I feel free to act however I want

She know I'm a dog I deserve my treats
My girl knows I'm not faithful, but I still deserve to be rewarded

Got her dripping wet Like some freshly squeezed
I got my girl excited and aroused for sexual activity

Gonna let her ride me Like a damn jetski
I am going to let my girl have sex with me

They was thinking I ain't real Up until they seen
People doubted that I was genuine until they saw me in person

I was never the one To forget my team
I never abandoned my friends even when they forgot about me

Even when like half of them Forgot about me
Many of my friends didn't stay loyal to me

Don't wanna go To the penitentiary
I don't want to go to jail

But I'd rather go there Then get R.I.P'd
I'd rather go to jail than die

Tearing down this wall Inside me piece by piece
I am trying to break down my emotional barriers one by one

But it get built back When I'm in my dreams
My emotional walls are reinforced when I go to sleep and dream

Cause the demons all attacking When they see me sleep
My inner demons attack me when I'm asleep

When it comes to bottom lines I ain't never known peace
I have never experienced true inner peace

Life be feeling all fine Until I wake up to pee
Life seems okay until I am reminded of my physical needs

Only thing we got in common Is the way we bleed
The only thing we have in common is our mortality

And the difference is You don't know pain like me
You don't understand the pain that I go through

You said my love a drug And it's like codeine
You compared my love to a drug, specifically codeine

I'm glad you got sober Cause it fueled my dreams
I'm glad my partner stopped doing drugs because it helps me pursue my dreams

Used to be full of love Until she took it from me
I used to be full of love until my ex-girlfriend hurt me

In and out of institutions Since fifteen
I have been in and out of institutions since I was fifteen years old

That's a lot of time Thinking bout the grand scheme
Spending so much time in institutions has given me time to think about the big picture

Uppin heavy metal Like I'm in kill switch
I am increasing my intensity like the band Killswitch Engage

And I'm on a new level You ain't know exist
I have reached a new level of success that you couldn't imagine

Just tryna get settled But the scales they tip
I am trying to find stability but things keep getting out of balance

Throw me off balance In the dirt on my dick
Things keep knocking me off balance, leaving me struggling

Everyone been hating me It feel like I'm Chris
Everyone hates me and it's overwhelming, like Chris Brown's situation

But the difference is I swear I don't even give a shit
I don't care what people think of me, that's the difference between me and Chris Brown

Bitches be selling some dreams But they never get rich
Women promise a lot but never follow through on their potential

I won't buy into it Yeah I stay out the mix
I won't believe those promises, and I stay out of trouble

Yeah I did her dirty And to that I'll admit
I cheated on my girl and I am ashamed of myself

Drugs got me up and away No spaceship
Drugs have me high, but without the use of a spaceship

Chancing my life with these scripts Gotta take risks
I am taking risks with the music I make, betting on its success

Doing the most with this music Gotta make hits
I'm putting a lot of effort into my music, hoping it will be successful

I been on the road in my mind Gotta take trips
I have been thinking deeply and going on mental journeys to find inspiration for my music

Can't be like X and caught in traffic
I don't want to end up like XXXTentacion, dying in a senseless act of violence