Subtle Thrust
Taylor & Jimmy Van M Lyrics

We have lyrics for these tracks by Taylor & Jimmy Van M:

Anomoly Calling your name Can't you hear me call…
Dive Into The Deep Every time I feel the ocean breeze It takes me back…
Dreaming Nobody Had told me how far we can go I can…
Feathers Put another little feather in your cap It will really…
Get 2 U (Oh oh oh) (Oh oh oh, oh oh, oh oh) (Oh oh) Stand…
Indica Standing in the night light it always suits me in…
Madness Would you like me better if I was damaged too? Would…
Milk Senators outside my room Always finding something new Littl…
Taylor Oh Wyoming, you'll always have my heart, But it's hard to…

Way Of Love The way you used to love me, baby Well, it shook…

We have lyrics for these tracks by Taylor:

4. Out of the woods Looking at it now It all seems so simple We were lying…
All You Had to Do Was Stay (Hey hey hey) (Hey hey hey) (Hey hey hey) (Hey hey hey) …
Anomaly Calling your name Can't you hear me call…
Bad Blood 'Cause baby now we got bad blood You know it used…
Beautiful Some mornings are covered with gray The sun doesn't shine my…
Begin Again Took a deep breath in the mirror He didn't like it…
Bisken 2015 Ey yo sjekk bisken er i gata di og slipper…
Blank Space Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you…
Bottles I know that you like me And it's kinda frightenin' Standing …
Bout That I like to think about the time I met you,…
California California Drugs My new baby likes when we hold hands All ou…
Call It What You Want My castle crumbled overnight I brought a knife to a gunfight…
Calling Your Name Calling your name Can't you hear me call…
Clean The drought was the very worst, ah ah When the flowers…
Dangerous I'm a red lip, black leather jacket in the summer I'm…
Delicate This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so…
Epiphany Keep your helmet Keep your life, son Just a flesh wound Here…
Finally I’m so dead and tired My mind’s turning circles I feel like…
Firecracker Hangin' out at that backyard party I was doing my thang Guys…
Forever I thought I needed you I thought I'd be with you Forever I…
Free Honey, stop your lies You ain't got to lie no more Sugar,…
Guilty Conscience My guilty conscience got me putting you through things you…
I Almost Do I bet This time of night you're still up I bet You're tired…
I Feel Good Do you know the muffin man The muffin man, the muffin…
I Know Places I I I I, I I I I I I I…
I Wish You Would It's 2 A.M. in your car Windows down, I pass my…
I'm Alive Three more days here on the outside Still I can't touch…
I'm Feelin I'm glad my life aint caught on camera I've done some…
Im Alive My life has never been this way before I don't remember…
In My Way And now, the end is near And so I face the…
It Must Be Love I just dropped her off I'm thinking, 'Oh, what a night' I…
look what you made me do I don't like your little games Don't like your tilted stage …
me I’m done trying prove everything to ya’ll There’s some thing…
MIA Morena mía Tú y yo tiraos en la arena Debajo de la…
My Everything There's nothing that this world could offer Nothing that cou…
My Favorite Song I'm just a call or two away I'm the connection to…
New Romantics We're all bored, we're all so tired of everything We wait…
One More Time Vivo roto como el cielo Tu no estás así que muero Sin…
One of These Days Nobody knows how to be alone these days A million people…
Out Of The Woods Looking at it now It all seems so simple We were lying…
Pray For Me Pray for the day we're on top of a mountain Pray…
Radio Ga Ga I'd sit alone and watch your light My only friend through…
Relativity Your work takes blood and sweat and your tears Sacrifice you…
Rock Music Mama knows and papa knows That rock 'n roll is…
Shake It Off I stay out too late, got nothin' in my brain That's…
shake it off again I stay out too late Got nothin' in my brain That's what…
So You Run You’re never ever around boy You’re never ever around boy Yo…
Style Midnight You come and pick me up, no headlights Long drive C…
swift blank space Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you…
Swimming Pool 사랑에 빠진것만 같아 Babe 자다가도 벌떡 일어나게 되지 곁에 너만 있다면 두려울게 없어져 뜨거운 햇볕에…
That's How It Goes I need a second just to make up my mind cos…
The Moment I Knew You should've been there Should've burst through the door Wi…
This Love Clear blue water High tide, came and brought you in And I…
Thuggin I been raging, l, life consistent payments Saw the toll, but…
Today Today, today, today I'm finally on my way Time has…
Welcome to New York Walkin' through a crowd, the village is a glow Kaleidoscope …

We have lyrics for these tracks by Jimmy Van M:

Walking Away I'm slain Feeling strange Get on And get it wrong I feel On…

The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos

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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

@mxpants4884

16w↑2

@@raventame7221 What are you using to measure safety when you say you live in a safe town? (And that your friends live in less safe areas.)

I don't want to pick on you here. I just want to highlight that when we describe a place as safe or unsafe it almost never has a basis in data.

Most of the time when Americans are talking about what is a good or bad part of town, what we're actually using to approximate that is how white it is, and then how wealthy it is.

As I'm writing this we just closed out 2023. Despite the incessant reports of a rising tide of lawlessness, murder rates dropped by double digits.

As often as I've heard people point to Chicago or New York City as epicenters of violence, a map of the counties with the highest per capita age-adjusted murder rates puts a lot of rural areas in the south as more dangerous places to live.

I'm using murder statistics because there's less variation in reporting rates, but of course this doesn't reflect the risk women are at very well. I tried to find data for that and while there are several places that get mentioned as particularly dangerous, the overall answer is: at home.

@lagggoat7170

31w↑22

I didnt expect so poignant insights on an issue I had struggled to put into words in the middle of a longform video I opened as background noise for cleaning. Subscribed!
I am an overly cautious, never relaxing, always home before dark, fat (with subconscious hesitancy to loose weight and the invisibility it offers towards men) woman who considers herself liberated but also still dresses in a way even conservatives wouldnt be offended at. Because on top of learning people arent safe/lost socialisation time as a kid (Bullying over formative years by peers...) I also get told constantly to look out, be aware, stay safe, stay hidden. And I considered this fear a sensible, if a bit strong, adaptation to this world until you pointed the fallacy out.
Yes, the closest to predators I know arent the scary men I keep an eye on in shop windows or the person randomly walking past me while I clench my keys. Both of them were unassuming blokes of about my ethnicity, wo I was friendly aquainted with. One of them became way ruder and more dismissive to me as he realized I wasnt a potential dateable option (while still being his charming buffoon next door self to more attractive, less aroace women including OUR SHARED BOSS who was 5+ years older than him!). The other was in my online TTRPG circles, made a "waifu-pool" Discord of people that fit his fetish for incompatibly oriented (ace and/or lesbian) afab and lovebombed all of them, only to start dating the youngest group member (25!!! years his junior. The younger person is of age at least but about as young as you can get while being of age) and then seperating them from the group and cutting contact. Both of them didnt target me so I dont know all the details, but I know they did shady, pushy shit while not crossing the line into "classic predator". Both had their safe niches as "nice guys" and used that position to get women/afab people to lower their guard.

And I cant help but wonder if this collective fear-bombing of women and read-as-women people isnt also a feture of patriarchy in addition to being a safe way to have cis men feel better about not being a boogie man. If the world is dangerous, it is sensible for a woman to not go out too much, after all. It is sensible to have a male protector with you. It is sensible to not dress eye-catchingly...
That is the exact type of shit (conservative) xenophobes put forward as justification for islamophobia/xenophobia!

Idk I hope my ramblings made sense.
Tldr: you have opened my eyes to something that irked me for ages and also made me a subscriber

@InnocentCrow

27w↑5

I'm AFAB nonbinary, white and chubby
Have spent my whole life walking around at night, and have been followed many times, even attacked a few, but I'm careful, took self-defense classes all through youth, and carry self defence items.

Every femme appearing person I know, survived similar experiences, or worse.

I live in a really scummy big city, though.

100% true, people (especially women) are in far more danger from people they know and trust, and that absolutely needs to be more taught and more well known.

But we also still need to teach basic safety for "stranger danger" until it isn't a problem at all.

Without those teachings, I and many people I know probably wouldn't be alive right now.

All comments from YouTube:

@user-cf7rn3vb6s

32w↑3K

Hi, it's me, the sister. I completely forgot I asked Laura to make this video, but I'm so glad I did.

@Ancusohm

31w↑66

Thank you for requesting this! It lead to a great video.

@liamcoakley1822

31w↑53

Hello the sister, cheers for that!

@666kittycat666

31w↑29

Late happy birthday!

@RoamingAdhocrat

31w↑11

you are doing God's work, Ms Crone

@fridaysaintjude8926

31w↑7

Thank you for requesting it! Happy belated bday!

24 More Replies...

@HelloFutureMe

31w↑1.2K

I read 'Pretty Girls' by Karin Slaughter because it was sold to me as 'the next Gone Girl' (and I love Flynn), but I think a lot of these books take the wrong messaging from Flynn's success: she's never pointlessly horrific or gruesome or gritty for the sake of it. She gives some really compelling psychological writing (which centres female perspectives). Pretty Girls had some surface level similarities to Flynn's work, but absolutely went over the top with its gruesome horror to the point it became cartoonish.

@myOhaiChan

31w↑32

Yeah, that is a Karin Slaughter TM. Her work is always gritty and I knew that from reading the Will Trent series so Pretty Girls was a no go for me

@lagggoat7170

31w↑26

Yeah I used to read Karin Slaughter as a teen (forgot the series name, but it was about that female pedriatrician slash county coroner who dated the Chief of Police in a small town) and I stopped because the misery of the central characters was just piled on and on and on. I loved the characters but the series only kept hurting without respite, so I stopped reading them for the same reason I dont enjoy grimdark: If everything is sad and depressing without any happy moments, why am I reading this as escapism instead of anything with even a hint of optimism?

@ishathakor

31w↑39

pretty girls terrified the fuck out of me because it's so horrific and it's also the worst case scenario of very real fears i have as a woman. but yeah it's really not like gone girl at all imo. it's very much just. "wouldn't it be fucked up if this happened?" and yeah. it would be fucked up. but that's also not really what gone girl is. gone girl is like... a character of study of a fucked up and calculating woman and an account of why she did what she did. there are actually very interesting character writing aspects of gone girl, none of which exists in pretty girls. i don't think one is automatically superior to the other (and i actually found pretty girls a more engaging read than gone girl at the end of the day because it wormed its way into my brain) but they're really completely different things.

it's really frustrating that every single book nowadays (and for a while now at least) gets marketed as the next [book that already exists]. or as some kind of mishmash of multiple books that already exist. it's all is this author the next stephen king, the next jk rowling, the next [other big name in fiction]. it genuinely makes a lot of books frustrating to read because it's absolutely not what you were promised. i read iron widow without seeing any of the marketing materials (i just knew xiran jay zhao wrote it and i knew them from their youtube so i picked it up). and i liked it quite a bit. and then i saw all the handmaids tale and pacific rim and hunger games comparisons and i was like what the HELL are you talking about lmao. i would've hated it if i went into it with those expectations. book retailers are so busy trying to get a next gone girl they're not even stopping to consider if the book they're calling the next gone girl is even remotely like gone girl in the first place.

@The7thDraconian

31w↑2

Haven't read Pretty Girls, but I've fallen for that kind of marketing in the past and I've really started to dislike how it and "like X meets X" marking has become so prevalent. Even if the book is really good, I find my initial expectations might end up soured cause I expected it to be something that it wasn't trying to be. (Granted, my brain is kind of weird, so this probably isn't as big of a problem for other people.)

@LuckyStars881

30w↑4

I will say, "False Witness," by Karin Slaughter was a read I doubt will ever leave me. That book focuses less on murder and more on SA and addiction though, so perhaps that's why. I quickly had to stop going through her other work though. The others were way, way, too gruesome.

9 More Replies...

@joeholley3178

31w↑847

I asked my wife if she was miserable/in rock bottom because she had a baggy sweater on and she said “I’ve never been miserable in a sweater” 😂😂😂

@rainatempest4641

31w↑44

Love that for her, sweaters rule

@nicolesmith5398

30w↑18

That's so real

@marocat4749

13w↑1

Yay , i mean you can have comfy clothes without specific reason.

@emilyt9955

31w↑996

the constant focus on the attractiveness of these female victims/women who have to watch themselves walking at night puts a really sour taste in my mouth. people are always so quick to act like only 'pretty' women are victimized, when the reality is that's not the case at all.

@bece00

31w↑104

Literally just saw a comment trying to negate her views by being like "actually white pretty women get targeted all the time"
Some people's views on who is likely to be victimized is so warped by media

@mad8598

30w

This. I’ve even seen pretty women say “ugly” girls are really the privileged ones because they don’t have to worry about being preyed on by men. Fucking bullshit. Bad men target ALL kinds of girls and women. And girls and women who aren’t conventionally pretty have to deal with not being believed because “why would he want to?” or told they should be grateful for the attention. People think only pretty girls are at risk of attack because the media only focuses on pretty girls.

@SuperNuclearUnicorn

29w↑53

Gives me "well what were you wearing?" vibes as if only women in crop tops and booty shorts get attacked

@saracastic102

29w↑29

@@SuperNuclearUnicorntrue, ESPECIALLY in the context of domestic abuse, which is the exact setting of these mentioned books. Assault/abuse ist most likely to happen at home and so it's definitely not always about sexualizing hot-dressed women in the street

@rikkirikki4892

29w↑36

@@bece00we live in times where a bunch of wealthy suburban white women are certain they’re constantly being “almost sex trafficked” at Target. There’s zero cultural understanding of who is actually victimized by assault, sex trafficking etc and people actively believe these crimes are ARGs that they’re a part of. It’s so frustrating and actively harmful to victims.

5 More Replies...

@DS-ub1jm

31w↑612

My mom always told me “ be perceptive not paranoid ” to be aware of my surroundings but panicking about boogeymen around every corner isn’t healthy. She also taught me how to throw a mean punch and if someone did ever grab me to scream grab bite etc. to not be embarrassed about loudly telling someone if they were making me uncomfortable or invading my space, to loudly be able to tell someone to “get the fuck away from me”. She focused on empowering me to be confident in myself and my boundaries and to have a plan if the worst happens .

@Vampress09

31w↑28

Your mom sounds awesome!

@AlexofZippo

24w↑5

My mom always told my sister: “if a guy ever goes after you, remember that he has eyes and you have claws”

@mikkosaarinen3225

20w↑3

Your mom sounds super dope 😁

I am going to add this the self-defence truism "never escalate the level of violence in a fight you're not winning". If you can shock someone into letting you escape by punching them, go ahead kick em' in the nuts. Otherwise you probably want to de-escalate. Making a scene when someone is invading your personal space or creeping on you however is grade A+ advice, no notes.

@Talestra

19w

Well to be fair, the number 1 killer of women... is men. Moreover, it's usually a male in a position of trust. Face it, straight women are dating their number one predators.
We should absolutely be ourselves, be happy, fall in love.... but learn to disable an attacker who likely outweighs/outmuscles you...

@marocat4749

13w

Good advice. I mean the try to judge if itr gets you in danger to hit back or if you can scare a bit off and make a run for it. Running away literally is the best self defence technique if viable.

@rubberface1424

31w↑1.2K

It finally clicked for me why The Shining works so well as a film: Kubrick adapted the fear, not the book.

@mariaaguadoball3407

31w↑54

Okay, that's a brilliant observation.

@Vesperitis

31w↑50

And the problem with the Stephen King-directed The Shining is because he adapted the book.

@coolboyyo654

31w↑57

Adapting books is way more difficult than it looks, especially really good books. The medium is so important that it's almost impossible to perfectly capture it.

@katstreats

29w↑25

Hold up, I always had the impression that The Shining The movie was horrifically sexist in its reduction of Wendy's character whereas the book was an incredibly nuanced portrayal of the same character that struck me in all sorts of realistic and deeply emotional ways. I genuinely want to know the reasons this was your takeaway because it's the opposite of mine, and this is a highly upvoted comment.

@mariaaguadoball3407

29w↑46

@@katstreats You're right about the differences in Wendy's portrayal. Though I wouldn't describe book Wendy as "incredibly nuanced" - this is 70s King we're talking here - she was certainly more complex. I read the book before seeing the film, and what pissed me off the most was how she was reduced to this quivering, blubbering mess. Years later, when I found out how badly Duvall was treated to get that performance, I was even angrier.

Kubrick's characterisation and storytelling in this film are rubbish. However, he does manage to evoke a terrifying atmosphere. That doesn't excuse his abusive behaviour, it's just a comment on the technical proficiency of the film.

6 More Replies...

@plushwishes

30w↑368

I went to go read the luckiest girl ever and wow, damn near every poc person was described negatively and I can't get over the fact that "belly button winking like an Asian eye" is a line in a critically acclaimed book!?

@itslonda4157

29w↑54

Omg thank you for this, I was actually going to order and read this book 🤢

@Gaby-fb7gh

27w↑29

That's gross wtf

@crabsnake4556

25w↑15

Some Lovecraft Type Shit

@FaerieDust

25w↑14

Wtf what does that even mean??

@naurrr

25w↑13

that had to go through how many rounds of editors that chose to keep it in???? wow

4 More Replies...

@chloelastname3184

31w↑282

I agree that the fear instilled in women about their surroundings is overblown but as a women who has been mugged skateboarding home at night , stalked at work, and cat called walking in my neighborhood since I was twelve. I don’t know. I think there is a lot of nuance there. I grew up in a town that all neighboring towns called the “ghetto”. It wasn’t that but there was a lot less money there than the surround areas. My friends and I grew up wandering the neighborhood and we are still here to tell our tales but that’s because we learned how to watch our backs. There is a class distinction here too that I wish she touched on.

@raventame7221

29w↑61

I definetly agree with this. While I do think we need nuance about this subject (especially with centering white cishet ablebodied women and seeing men of color as being more dangerous), I've also been followed at night, catcalled and touched without my consent. And I still live in a rather safe town, I know I've probably experience way less than some of my friends who don't.

@gastonzumbo9860

29w↑34

Yeah, there's a clear privileged perspective to her argumentation that is truly disgusting tbh...

@strawberryqueen0382

28w↑29

@@gastonzumbo9860I definitely found it a weird tangent from just the line about a male experiencing what it would be to “be like a women” at night. If it was more indicative of a larger part of Riley’s work I’d maybe understand it but it was definitely a strange criticism of “someone doesn’t have the same hot take social criticism around feminism as I do in this scene” which makes that part of the video just a weirdly out there part of this honestly mostly 10/10 vid

@mxpants4884

16w↑2

@raventame7221

16w↑1

Data. I'm using data and also a touch of personal experience as I tend to be bothered more by men when I go to other surronding cities. My town isn't te safest but proportionally the amout of crime is way lower than in the rest of my country (small note but I'm not American). My point was not that the violence doesn't happen more at home. I'm aware of that. But that the tangent on crime in the street and how Laura hasn't experienced much of it felt a bit dismisive of other people's experience. I'm 100% sure it was not intentional but mostly felt like a priviledged point of view. @@mxpants4884

@TributeJr

31w↑360

I'm convinced the "whisk with a handle the size of my wrist" is what happens when someone doesn't know what a kitchenaid attachment is

@TheDanishGuyReviews

31w↑41

I'm no whiz in a kitchen, but that's a strangely made whisk. Even I can see that.

@ChristopherSadlowski

31w↑36

For real! What the hell are you whisking, alien goo? If you're looking to make an emulsion with the tensile strength of concrete your recipe is way off.

@aggylyf

31w↑371

I watched Gone Girl in high school, I don't know why maybe the teacher was hung over, and right before starting the movie, she said "just so you know, she is not dead". I have never been so angry before

@autumntaylor2533

30w↑72

What was her point in spoiling it for yall like

@0206ashley

30w↑40

Omg now I have secondhand rage on your behalf. Why would she do that?

@BengtBagels

29w↑16

lol i have managed ( until now... ) to avoid spoilers ( for all these years 😅 )
didnt even watch this video yet.

@MsAileenValentine

24w↑6

When I was reading Gone Girl, I already knew what was going to happen after I read some of Amy’s entries.

@bbyghostie1044

31w↑454

Back in the mid 2000s, at my school we were just told to use pads and tampons, but weren't told how they work. I didn't even know pads had a sticky side until I used one for the first time (after sex ed). So I think that scenario really depends on the school and time period. We also had to sign a "I won't have sex" pledge at the end of the class so there's that lol

Edit: practicing putting pads on underwear and being given menstrual products is such a great idea! It really is like a whole other world between some schools 😭

@bbyghostie1044

31w↑26

@@thegodplace7887 tbh I'm thankful that in a red state we got abstinence focused and not totally abstinence only sex ed. At the very least they told us birth control and condoms exist by showing us a chart of options briefly (with the emphasis on the fact that nothing is 100% effective like not having sex... which unfortunately also isn't 100% effective) The bar is in hell lol

@ishathakor

31w↑8

yeah it is! we didn't practice it ourselves but when we had sex ed they did have a nurse demonstrate how to put on a pad and tampon (on a model vagina) and it was really helpful for when i finally got my period because i remembered from class. later on they also had us practice putting condoms on dildos (and test tubes??s dflkjsdlksdj). which was a VERY weird class lol but it was also definitely helpful. the temporary discomfort you feel as a student or teacher is definitely worth it for being informed about this stuff so you know what to do when you actually are in these situations.

@minano-nim6795

31w↑23

Yep, I grew up in an Eastern European country and our "sex Ed" was ONE SINGULAR CLASS taught by the school nurse. All kids of all genders were in class. This happened in 7tu or 8th grade (so we were all around 15). We were told women menstruate (but not what menstruation is), we were ALL given one pad. No instructions, no anything, tampons were not mentioned, sex was not mentioned (because we're too young for that), not to mention that by this point, all but one of the girls in class had been having a period for a while. Then, the boys played with the pads and made fun of them the whole break and we went back to normal classes. Everyone I know has learned how to use period products from written instructions on the package or vague verbal instructions that steered clear of any mention of "inappropriate words."

@HeySlothKid

31w↑13

OMG I have such bad memories of my first time trying to insert a tampon at 16 and somehow hurting myself so much I refused to try again until I was 21 and a friend gave me detailed instructions. I went to a pretty good school that had a decent sex ed program but nobody ever discussed the practicalities

@bbyghostie1044

31w↑5

@minano-nim6795 ouch 😭
I didn't get hurt but the first time I tried at 15, my friend was trying to help me from the other side of the door bc she wanted to swim. I got tunnel vision and ended up going down to the floor before it got worse (from standing up trying to do it). Apparently that's a thing that can happen and it's likely due to being really tense. I had no idea you had to relax your muscles. I gave up and didn't try again until maybe a year later. I just didn't swim on my period for about 4 years 🙃

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@tvestal100

32w↑330

I'm sorry, there are schools who will teach students how to use a pad/tampon?!? I sure would have appreciated some guidance back in the day.

@Jillbles

31w↑30

In the 80's, in a majority-Catholic town in NJ, they took all the 4th grade girls into separate classrooms than the boys, showed us a little movie, gave us a little booklet written as if it were little notes passed between three different girls which, when I brought it home, my Mom said was nearly identical to the one she'd gotten in the 50s (right down to the girls' names), held an awkward discussion of sanitary products, and sent us home with a little sample pack to take home, yes.

@mimosa5174

31w↑5

That is what I was thinking too!! I really could’ve used some help too.

@theangryambisextress

31w↑12

NY, 2004, 5th grade - separated by gender, shown informational projection slides, sent home with a bag that included a pad, tampon, and pamphlet

@tvestal100

31w↑10

@@theangryambisextress I hit 5th grade in 02 I barely knew what a period was even though I knew other girls already had one. I swear we didn't get any information other than "periods are a thing but we won't discuss anything else about it and don't have sex ever or you will get pregnant and diseases good luck." I didn't get my period until high school and I specifically remember thinking "what now?"

@bad-girlbex3791

31w↑5

There are literally instructions either in or on the packaging (sometimes both). I don't understand how this is such an issue.

8 More Replies...

@whatisupbruh2738

31w↑302

Loved the essay! I will say though as a black fem presenting invdividual: I am scared for my life when I am catcalled. I understand very well that I am an unprotected demographic in this country more than most and when my life in the media is seen as not even worth reporting on, much less investigated if I ever went missing. I understand that wasn’t your point there but I wanted to call out again that it is different when you are apart of a minority

@annehp771

30w↑8

@BengtBagels

29w↑8

@good4gaby

28w↑5

💯

@FreePigeon

25w↑2

Must be nice to live in such comfort that someone calling at you is the worst you feel threatened.

@TheAkimino

25w↑32

@@FreePigeonmust be nice to live in such comfort that someone sharing their lived experience provokes you to comment something utterly unnecessary

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@marshalinehamismother

31w↑296

i really really liked the discussion about how awful all the fear mongering about trafficking on tiktok is. you're right it's only "be aware" which translates to be fearful.

@g7924

27w↑10

People like that want to be the victim of a true crime story so bad it’s gross

@namedrop721

25w↑12

This is fun except when I was 15 I was nearly taken off the street

I’m not on tiktok but is trafficking awareness really a bad thing

@zuglymonster

19w

@@namedrop721it actually IS a bad thing because these stories like "they'll put a flyer on your car to mark you as a victim" and all kinds of ridiculous things make people scared of stuff that doesn't actually happen. Real, actual trafficking groups are asking people not to spread this misinformation. Polaris, one of the biggest trafficking orgs, says on thier own website they've never had A SINGLE client who was brought into trafficking because they were randomly snatched off the streets just conducting every day life. Think about how much attention that woman who faked her own kidnapping (actually BOTH of them) recently. That was all over nationwide news in hours but were supposed to believe hundreds of people with families, kids, husbands, ect just up and disappear and no one even blinks?

No. Its people who won't be missed, it's homeless people, its sex workers and addicts who if they go missing get waved off as "oh probably just out getting high" or even worse "who cares?"

The 30 year old mom of two is going to be noticed being missing immediately. So is pretty much anyone who has people they see daily.

Trafficking is usually done (at least in Western countries) by people who already know the victim. A "boyfriend" who manipulates a woman and then becomes abusive, as sick as it is for kids its often family members

@paintingwithnicole

31w↑142

I hate to tell you this but my experience of sex ed is basically exactly what he mentioned in the book lmao and im from a blue state (red district tho ? dont know if it counts) CERTAINLY did not have any points where we were taken from the boys at all, or DEFINITELY no points of putting in pads or tampons. i don't think they even mentioned pads or tampons at all to be honest. the most we got was probably a very formal, scientific, "once a month the uterus sheds its lining when an egg hasn't been fertilized" i got all the period talks from my mom lmao

@piperfitzgerald9526

30w↑10

I was going to comment something similar. Our classes were never gendered and if you genuinely needed an anatomy lesson because parents parents didn’t cover it, you’d have to talk to the nurse.

@rowanlavellan9755

30w↑4

I was homeschooled and handed books from the 70s when I started asking about periods. I was extremely confused about the actual specifics of menstruation for a while...until I actually started...

@Neddyhk

27w↑3

School curriculum is controlled locally, state standards - outside of fascist states - only do so much.

@suitdoggy4707

26w↑6

I had a pretty in-depth sex ed class. But when my little sister went to the same high school a few years later they completely wiped the program.

@ash-fz3tw

31w↑306

1:20:00 my middle school sex ed literally was that bad. They didn’t saw what a period was almost at all, just vaguely mentioned it without detail. I only knew what it was when it happened to me because three weeks before, I had seen a YouTube life hacks video about how to survive your period. My mom hadn’t really told me because she assumed sex ed would, so she gave me a brief summary a few years too early for me to remember in the moment. So, had YouTube not been there, I would have been exactly where that character was

@chacharealclanky3580

31w↑26

Our p.e teacher held our sex ed at that age. He refused to say the word 'menstruation' and vaguely talked around it instead of about it.

@Hoberpopkin

31w↑35

My mom didn't tell me shit, and this was before any school ed happened about it, lol. I freaked out one night after finding blood on my bed. My mom laughed when she realized it wasn't anything life threatening, but still explained nothing, and just said it meant "I was a woman now" 🤡🤡🤡

There's a lot to unpack there, and none of it good

@avisicarus42

31w↑46

yeah the way she was describing her own sex ed experience made me so like... your experiences are not universal lmao. we absolutely did not have anyo f that

@carolsimpson4422

31w↑12

Were you living in New York in the 2000s? I think the criticism was that for that time and place her ignorance was highly unlikely. Maybe if the character had been homeschooled or sent to a regressive religious school it might make sense- but given the circumstances in the novel, it doesn't ring true.

@931i

31w↑37

I went to a "good" school, in a "great" school disctrict, in theearly 2000's, in a progressive area. We never got any kind of instruction on menstruation, and no it was never explained to me what to do by parents. In fact, I'm shocked by level of prep described.

12 More Replies...

@samlewis6487

31w↑28

"Theres a secret back entrance which leads to the wardrobe in her childhood bedroom" That's fucking terrifying actually. Actually. Actually that's fuckimg terrifying and I would like for it to not thank you.

@winterx2348

31w↑193

1:19:21 oh dear...that is EXACTLY what my experience was when i got my period at age 12 in the early 2000's, and i lived in what (at the time) was considered a very non-conservative area. your school actually taught people how to use tampons and pads? they sent kids home with samples of them???!! i think you might be the outlier here 🤣

@flowingleaves

30w↑16

absolutely the outlier lmao! i went to an all-girls primary school and i dont think even remember them telling us more about periods than 'they happen once a month and you bleed during it'. when she was talking about that i was wondering if i was the weird for never having talked about that in school

@winterx2348

30w↑5

@@flowingleaves lol considering the cost of period products, I think sending kids home with samples would bankrupt the public school system.

@StayGreenBDifferent

30w

@@winterx2348Always and Kotex each make period curriculum for schools (with samples), based on the knowledge that if you use one brand at the start, there's a very high chance you stick with it. It sounds like her school was in one of those programs. Mine was not, so I didn't see any demos until my mom talked me through it.

@runa_7022

30w↑15

no fr seeing her basically act like her experience was universal threw me off a lot because that was NOT the case for anyone in my town

@ellisretropunk9908

27w↑2

@@runa_7022 yeah i think there's some good points in this video overall but the period section really threw me?? it just didn't feel relevant to the rest of the commentary and also so hyperspecific i was just like.... okay

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@lowqualitysleep

30w↑76

The most horrific thing about Sager's books is the idea of whipping eggs, sugar, and flour together and calling it "batter."

@ashleygriffin

31w↑261

Just to throw it out there... I have been stalked and seriously threatened and put in danger by people when I'm walking down the street, even though I am careful and do everything I'm "supposed" to do...I totally understand the nuance you're going for, and appreciate the point that "women are unsafe walking down the street" is an easy excuse for a lot of bad faith actors... but it does happen (I'm glad it hasn't happened to you!) and it is really terrifying...I have been in serious danger and it's affected the way I walk through the world... I do REALLY agree that we need to focus more on the idea that most "bad guys" don't look like monsters :( Too true

@sojabursche

31w↑55

same, and i'm not even a woman, i just look feminine enough to get mistaken for one 9 times out of 10. which is dangerous because of how men will get violent for "being tricked into accidentally acting gay", even tho i am not tricking them and it's not my fault when they are attracted to me who is not a woman.
a guy once followed me for 3 hours through multiple trains without me noticing and at my destination which was a relatively rural and deserted train station he approached me and was like "hey i saw you get on the train at [starting station] and followed you here, would you get a coffee with me?" and i was very disturbed by this because i usually do look around and try to see if anyone is following me and didn't notice him, also he followed me through multiple trains for 3 hours to ask me out for coffee?!?!? also i'm not a woman but people often think i am a woman and they don't like when they hit on me and then notice i'm not actually a woman. so i was very scared and just said "no, thank you" but he wouldn't give up and kept asking and i didn't have time even if i wanted to and kept declining and tried to leave and then the guy got so angry and i don't know if it was because i declined or if he noticed i'm not a woman. luckily there was someone around who said something to the guy and when he was distracted i ran away.
when i have to walk home in the dark after a late shift often i have guys just starting to follow me from the busy main street, luckily i live somewhere with many smaller streets that interconnect and usually have a few people out, so i can just take a few quick turns and usually loose them before i even get close to my house. but it is scary.
it's still no reason to be racist or transphobic, and that doesn't even make sense, everyone i know that has ever been harassed on the street it was from white men and it's way more common to be attacked for the possibility of being trans than for the random attacker to be dressing up to seem trans, because the people who attack people know they don't need to put on a dress and make up to attack anyone.
sure there could be abusers who are trans but that's not because they are trans. there are cis woman abusers. and if you ever get harassed in a bathroom or changing room it will probably be from a cis woman, because she is suffering from the transvestigation brainrot.

@katharineeavan9705

31w↑58

Yeah, as someone who has absolutely been given reason to fear walking alone, and whose family consists of three generations of white women who have also been given those reasons, that point rang rather hollow to me. I'm not scared because the world told me I should be, I'm scared because it's terrifying to have strange men follow you home having grown up hearing about the strange man who followed your mother home at your age and broke in with a weapon (thankfully he was scared off by a male friend).

While it is absolutely true that the "bad guy" is several times more likely to be someone you know, it's a little bit nonsense to imply there isn't inherent danger in being a femme appearing person walking alone - sometimes not even at night.

The statement that thin white women aren't the target of hate crimes is also a bold and debateable statement. And really only debateable in terms of law. We have literal manifestos by men who specifically targeted what they considered to be attractive women (often thin white women) due to stated motives that differ very little from any legally codified hate crime. EDIT to clarify: the hate crime is more about their perceived gender than people targeting them because they're white.

@gingganggoolie

31w↑21

I'm sorry that you've been followed/stalked by men, and I count myself very lucky I've not yet had it happen to me. I don't want to diminish that, but I think the important point is that even though we do everything we're supposed to, it still happens

I'm reminded of the case of Sarah Everard a few years ago, who followed basically every tip for "staying safe" when out alone at night, and was still kidnapped and murdered. I don't know that our vigilance makes us any safer

@sojabursche

31w

@@katharineeavan9705 yeah the guy that followed me for 3 hours was in broad daylight it was noon when I went on the first train.
Yeah and the guys writing manifestos and only killing who they saw as women definitely qualify as hate crimes for me.
There are also femicides going on in a few places and they don’t seem to only kill women of color, even if there are more women of color killed just on the basis of it being places where more people of color live.

@sojabursche

31w↑23

@@gingganggoolie vigilance might not save us all; but it doesn’t hurt to be careful.
I didn’t see the guy that flowed me on the trains in broad day light and got lucky because when I was unable to get away someone else saw it, but I saw guys ducking between cars and door ways and changed where I was going. And those probably did prevent something from happening.
Also I don’t think vigilance is only about ourselves, it’s also about others and looking out for them too.

14 More Replies...

@richardbubb6062

31w↑149

I think Scream while also being a meta satire slasher is a predecessor to the whole genre the killers always have a personal connection to the victims

@Shanehudson27

31w

I mean its also statistically true. The most likely person to murder you is a drunk family member.

@TheJadedJames

25w↑3

For Scream there was Halloween 2. But once the genre enters its meta phase the personal connection twist are inherently more likely because a normal person up against a killer for no other reason than bad luck would be the normal version of the story & not the high concept version

@juliakrystosek8003

31w↑209

Immediately I just wanted to script doctor the period thing: the protagonist could just have only been planning to use pads but only tampons were available. Wouldn't be that hard to tweak. Sigh.

@R0SE727

31w↑43

Yes! That’s actually such a good fix. I personally didn’t relate to the digression about comprehensive education on the use of tampons in school, it might’ve happened but I don’t think so. But like, grabbing from a variety of experiences from ppl I’ve interacted w/ I feel like it’s a very common experience for young people who are menstruating (especially for the first time) to kinda get the gist of pads even w/out someone showing them vs. being left in the dark about tampons & then being left to struggle w it on their own. It sucks

@morgantrias3103

31w↑16

I have actually had to look up useage instructions for tampons to someone who was in that exact situation. (or in her case it was an underwear situation? okay I understood tampons but still do not understand thongs)

@thistley_42

31w↑22

@@R0SE727 yes, I definitely envy the practical sanitary product education. Sure I was told about different sanitary products but honestly didn’t understand that tampons went fully inside you and wouldn’t get lost, and got a heavy steer that they were “advanced level” sanitary protection and I should just use pads to start with and then figure tampons out in some unspecified way at some undefined future point.

@nuffyj8614

31w↑24

I honestly wouldn't have even blinked an eye at this scene. I don't remember having a useful health class. The only reason I knew how tampons worked was because my mom bought me that American Girl book about puberty (and honestly, that page breaking down how to insert it scared me away from tampons until after college...). A 13-year-old getting their first period while away from home and freaking out and needing someone to walk them through it sadly doesn't raise any lack-of-verisimilitude alarm bells for me. I haven't read the book, so I don't know specifically how the scene went down, but the basic premise is not outlandish to me.

@R0SE727

31w

@@nuffyj8614 omg I had the same American girl book! I’m glad there was at least something out there to be an educational resource for this kinds of stuff bc judging by the shear span of comments our health classes really let us down lol :’)

1 More Replies...

@IsaacIsaacIsaacson

31w↑149

you can actually get over the NYT paywall by hitting Esc repeatedly as the page loads (works better if you have slow internet). Honestly, showing her doing that would've made for a great moment of class commentary.

@bece00

31w↑6

🫡🫡🫡

@sao-me1lt

30w

Also, if you search "NYT subscription code," many libraries have them for free

@TheDoomBlueShell

30w↑14

Also if you use firefox you can just click the notepad in right side of the url you can read the article just fine 9/10

@emmaleighb

26w↑11

You can also hit print before the page fully loads, which will work for most paywalls including NYT, and from there you can download it as a PDF. In my experience, the NYT paywall is actually one of the easiest to get around (and I have a lot of experience from being a journalism student)

@jamiegdubois

31w↑293

The fact that you made a three and a half hour just because your sister asked you to just shows what a great sister you are! Thank you to your sister for the inspiration for this great video!

@missmishka8379

31w↑146

This video so makes me think of the Community episode where Abed watched all of Nicolas Cage's work to try & determine whether he's a good or bad actor. I don't think Sager pushed you to the same breaking point as Cage did Abed, but the vibes are there & I kind of love it. Like that ONE more book might have led to you yelling incomprehensibly, throwing around your vast quantity of notes & climbing over furniture declaring you're a sexy cat .... or super empowered survivor girl.

@MichiruEll

29w↑33

The conversation about pretty white women being scared is very interesting to me. I'm a white woman who would probably be considered attractive if I wasn't fat. But because I've been fat my whole life, the fear was instilled in me much less than in other women. And even if people tried, it didn't actually ever register, because I always was super insecure and considered myself monsteous because fat. And to an extent, I'm glad.
I was the girl who stood between her friends and the creepy dudes at the clubs. I went out to party at gay bars (am bi) all alone and walked home alone at 3 am (never drank though). I was the girl who dropped off her friends at their door in the middle of the night and then walked home alone. I was the girl who went to England at 15 to learn English and experienced no fear. During my PhD, I worked until 2 am, and then went on a walk through the city to go home. I'm infinitely grateful for this freedom. Granted, I also live in a very safe country and city, but that doesn't stop tge women around me from feeling the fear.

Not to say I haven't had weird men hit on me. It happens. I lie, pretend to be married (well, by now that's actually true). At 10, a stranger tried to assault me and I was able to push him away and forcefully tell him to leave (which he did cause we were outside during the day). Yet still, I feel very little fear. Interestingly, itvdoes make me scared of ever becoming conventionally attractive (aka thin). So that's interesting I guess.

@HenryKathman

31w↑88

Watching this on Nebula, but something I stuck out to me while I watching through this is the parallel between the modern domestic/personal noire genre and early gothic literature.

Both genres came to into prominence mass amidst condemnation from the literary establishment, both were predominantly targeted to women readers, and both were an outlet to discuss different dark taboo subjects that couldn’t otherwise be touched upon.

It’s too early to say whether the domestic/personal noire genres have the same legacy and influence as gothic fiction, but this is a parallel that I find utterly fascinating

Edit: LIKE MY MOTHER ON CHRISTMAS EVE????

@syddlinden8966

31w↑38

.... Feel like you are underestimating how AWFUL the sex ed can be in the US...
I never even had any sex ed. Permission slips were sent home. Then the actual class never freaking happened. And was at an otherwise good school!

@RedSpade37

31w↑6

Yeah, I can confirm it was that way at my school, too. What a country.

@justoneoftheguys111

31w↑50

Okay I did NOT get that kind of comprehensive period training. I got taught about what menstruation was, and I did know about the products in THEORY (just pads and tampons mind you) but I ALSO had no idea what to do about it. The fact that they had you practice putting pads on panties and play with tampon applicators sounds completely foreign to me

@gjtgnwph

31w↑68

Oh my GOD that final monologue about liking bad books is so validating! I own a Kindle and read a lot, so I end up reading really bad books sometimes but I like it! It helps me sharpen my critical skills and taste, as well as sometimes just wanting fluff

@themaddiemerlin

31w↑72

this is one of those pieces of art that is just too good? I am deeply offended by how spectacular this is? You turned lettuce into cotton candy, made a meal that is both nutritious and delicious? 3 + hours of pacing perfection? Passed in seconds? Replete with pervasive perspicacious perspectives and analysis? Thank you and I'm sorry? I'm an abolitionist, but I'm afraid I still have to send you to the amazing video essay jail.

@Eve.v

31w↑7

this comment speaks to my very soul, im glad you put this into words !! i kinda genuinely can't believe how fast this vid went by

@deimosb1697

31w↑39

My first tampon insertion was based solely on a book i read. My school system definitely did not do as much teaching as yours did lol. I’m very glad more populous areas do better teaching though.

@PrincessNinja007

30w

I got a lil diagram inside the box

@LilliBlackmore

30w↑6

Same! If my grandmother hadn't given me "The Body Book for Girls" I would have had no idea what to expect at all. My sex ed in school was watching a short video that explained absolutely nothing except that the uterus (whatever that was) would discard an unused egg and uterine lining (whatever that was) once a month. I had no idea how to obtain a tampon much less use one.😂😭

@elizabethingermann5911

31w↑45

wow your period readiness class segment was way more thorough than ours. We got an informational video that explained the technical process by which periods happen, glossed over how to wear a pad/insert a tampon, and somehow left me with the impression that I would bleed for a few hours each month instead of nearly a week. When I asked my older sister how to do a tampon, she gave me a look like I was stupid and told me to "just shove it up there." So yeah went by guessing and probably didn't quite put it far enough in and came away with the impression that tampons were actively painful to wear. Shocked to have a period? out of the question. Hilariously unequipped to do anything about it? definitely a thing.

@fizzy8367

31w↑25

Lol my coach told us about pads but said that tampons were naughty and we would have to ask our parents about them “if they would allow it”. But the insinuation was that tampons made you a slut and later other girls made fun of me for using them and it was really embarrassing. But I definitely came away from that conversation knowing nothing about tampons.

@minerman60101

31w↑42

As a math nerd, I have huge respect for parts negative two through zero. Have I seen their contents? Nope, I just love the numbering.

@potatocandydarling3441

29w↑19

The Riley Sager penname debacle fascinates me as someone who grew up reading writers like SE Hinton. Hinton HAD to use pennames to be taken seriously when she wrote about these tough street hood kids in the 1970s. But now we're to the point where a certain brand of grit and horror is seen as "acceptable" for a woman to have written. Interesting stuff.

@Clau-chauNicol

26w↑3

Apparently this was a thing with gothic romances in the 1970s as well. I think this has always been a thing for genres marketed at women

@potatocandydarling3441

26w↑1

@@Clau-chauNicol An artist's gender expression is a concept that has to be marketed with as finely tuned a comb as the art itself. The woman who writes intense yet high concept psychological horror has to be as finely tuned as the woman who peers into the interior world of 1970s street toughs

@howdyhoward

31w↑28

imagine my shock when you started describing the plot of final girls and i realized i had actually read it a few years ago and completely forgot

@nicoleemenhiser8028

31w↑13

Man. I got my period when I was 9. No one was ready, so no one had taught me. I thought I was literally dying. I can't believe I'm a rare exception, here.

@MistressMillion

29w↑1

I'm sorry you had to go through this. If it helps, that stuff happened to my grandma too. It's not like nobody was ready. Her mother just didn't explain anything to her because she was repulsed and she was never taught anything like that by anyone else. Also she was 14 at the time. Went to her friend and told her that it's the end of her days. Her friend and her mother LAUGHED at her.
So, when I came of age, my grandma explained this stuff to me. Of course, the generational bias wasn't fixed. My entire family is very defensive over the topic of sex and bodies, me included. I wasn't unaware when my period came, but it still felt like my body betrayed me. I hated every inch of my body because I didn't want it to grow and change especially in such a "gross" manner. Nobody in my family presented period as something gross, but nevertheless it felt disgusting and messy

@noreingravity

19w↑1

I got mine at 10 about to turn 11 and although I new it meant blood and a pad because of adds in tv no one told me it could come in different colors like BROWN. I hide it for a day or two because I was so fucking ashamed thinking I was shitting my pants without realizing dude

@lunadiggorytennant

31w↑40

As a self proclaimed (shitty) cinephile who's also been around a lot of other cinephiles both as collegues and as friends, the way media treats these characters as either monolithes who always like the same 3 things or people obsessed with only popular things has always driven me insane 'cause my personal experience is just so... varied. I met so many people who had so many different opinions about different things, most of the time obsessed with at least one niche period/genre/director, it annoys me so much when cinema or other media will just have us be obsessed with Nouvelle Vague and call it a day

@becuaseimbored3481

31w↑17

That speil about "the next gone girl" reminded of that bit in YMS's review of frozen where he talked about how every horror movie claimed to be "Jaws with x" and/or " What psycho did for showers this movie does for blah blah blah"

@flora4026

29w↑7

house across the lake really hits you with the double whammy “indigenous mythology is sooo spooky ooo” plus “what if a woman was secretly a man oooo”

@mikkosaarinen3225

20w↑1

Oh no, it's not "what if a woman was secretly a man", it's full on "what if a man masquerading as a woman wanted to hunt women, using his feminine form as a tool to get close to them." Personally the depiction is so cishet man fantasy so it mostly comes of as cringey 😄 But the trope isn't even subtext it's right there in the text. So literally it's genuinely kinda funny 😂

The backstory was indeed extra gross 🤮

@ocdgirl115

31w↑54

I love that we get a 3.5 hour video as a love letter to your sister. I love this energy so much!

@sandiegoretcon1292

31w↑40

Somewhat related: Sharp objects is addictive, it’s so worth a read

@layla7844

31w↑6

the mini series is sooo soo good! amy adams is a god. also my favourite flynn novel so.....

@IsSarahPi

31w↑3

It's a good book but it really, really upset me

@goosewithagibus

27w↑1

@@IsSarahPiwhat for?

@clevelandplonsey7480

26w

@@goosewithagibusdo you want us to spoil the book for you?

@kimdalton5067

31w↑21

I think the worst part about the sameness of Riley’s voice is that he clearly TRIED to differentiate by using shorter sentences or lingo, but there’s no real manipulation of syntax or even word choice and it is SO PAINFUL

@harzanium

31w↑24

as someone who’s only casually a reader because i always feel like i have to force myself to read “good” books this video made me genuinely so excited to read and i really appreciate that

@cherriesandchalk3115

31w↑51

Absolutely stacked voice casting for this video. Going to thoroughly enjoy this hulking mass of content. (RIP to the glass apparently, it will be missed)

@mandalevelsup

31w↑2

Yes this absolutely. I'm like 37 minutes in and I have recognized at least 5? Creators I watch I think?

@len.caro9

31w↑21

Oh man, your school was way more detailed with period instructions than mine was! I was a preteen in the very early 2000s, and we had the same abstinence-only sex ed but very not-detailed explanations of pads and tampons ("they exist. pad goes in underwear. tampon goes in you"). I started my period at 14 (also seriously thought there was something wrong with me because I started so late) when I was sleeping over at a friend's and I asked her for a pad and she offered a tampon and I very awkwardly had to admit this was my first time and I didn't know how to use one. She found me a pad, and the next day my mom verbally walked me through tampons. The idea of giving someone who's just started and is in emergency mode and has no idea what they're doing a tampon is an insane thing to me. Just find her a pad?

... Anyway. This video is really fascinating to me as someone who doesn't really read this genre but I love crime and murder and your recommendations have been added to my tbr :)

@mollywantshugs5944

31w↑32

38:09 this bit killed me. That’s such a great oneliner for a small child; especially when delivered that deadpan
Edit: one thing I’d like to add is that preteen children have been serial killers in real life, usually targeting other children. Only specific example I know is Mary Bell, who killed 2 preschoolers at age 10.

@UndeadGirlCyber

31w↑41

Thank you for the whole nuance zone section, I swear. The reinforcement of biases. The opportunity cost of it all.

@katiwithoutthee

30w↑9

i'm glad that you had the experience of being taught about menstrual products enough that that part strained credulity for you but as someone who grew up in southern missouri and literally did have to be taught how to use a tampon through a bathroom door by a classmate on a field trip.......

@CharleyMarlowe

31w↑177

Your commitment to avoiding correlating anatomy to gender and writing talent that prevented it from feeling grammatically clunky made me feel really seen as a femme enby lesbian, thank you.

@benburke3015

31w↑16

I genuinely wish more YouTubers/video essay writers were like Laura in this regard.

Heck, I wish more people in general were like Laura in this regard. Lol.

@ChristopherSadlowski

31w↑14

@@benburke3015 I think it's happening, but really slowly. It's only been recently that many of the YouTubers I watch are including "non-binary" in their into and outro. And I'm starting to hear the first few mentions of people who are aromantic and/or asexual. We'll get there, but seriously Laura is low-key including an instruction manual for inclusive language. This blueprint is like a little bonus tucked in. I'll try to remember to point people to this video if they're looking for some new tips on trying to include everyone in their communications.

@Eve.v

31w↑8

seconding this as an enby on the aro and ace spectrums ! she does a superb and commendable job!! i never felt othered, or like i'm not the target listener for this kind of video, because the language that was used was just !! [claps hands to show emphasis] Good! You know!!

@mikkosaarinen3225

20w↑1

Same here as an agender transfemme person. A recommendation on this for Foreign Man in a Foreign Land.

As a sidenote I had a weird mixed of feelings on this with Philosophy tubes latest video. Which I should note is excellent. But it's for me weirdly strictly binary gendered kinda leaving out the similarities of the experiences of femme presenting non-women to the kinds of fuckery that women face. At the same time I really enjoyed the "non-binary people, you're gorgeous take five bit" 😄 And admittedly I did kinda felt seen getting explicitly left out of the discussion on gender. Guess I just would've liked the additional nuance of women and femme presenting people added to the conversation.

@commenter2498

31w↑12

i absolutely MUST enter into the riley sager description moments hall of fame the time in his latest book he described something as "the opposite of the picture of dorian grey" SO LIKE... A REGULAR PAINTING?

@TheSkepticalCat

31w↑8

Unless it's like, the painting saps all your youth and leaves you old and shriveled??

@lagggoat7170

31w↑22

@goosewithagibus

27w↑1

I think your third paragraph is totally correct

@real_life_bambino7444

31w↑11

1:16:02 - maybe TMI but my mother helped me insert my first tampon (those super tiny Obi ones that are like designed for young girls) the first summer after I got my period so I could go to the pool with my friends while on my period, and even she could barely coherently explain how to do it, and when it wasn't working so she just resorted to inserting it herself because I was at full emotional breakdown at that point (I was 12 and I really, really wanted to go to the pool with my friends pls don't judge). A 37 year old woman could not properly explain. My friends recounted similar stories about their moms struggling to explain. That is one RARE 13 year old

@real_life_bambino7444

31w↑4

Also - this next part about girls not knowing what to do about a period - totally plausible IMO. We were taken into a room in grade 4 (ages 9-10) to talk about periods, and I came home crying thinking I would be bleeding out until death for the rest of my life, totally inconsolable because of they way the explained it and probably the immaturity. They didn't talk about sanitary products because they thought our little elementary school brains would melt I guess if they told us how to take care of ourselves???? Idk. Never had any reproductive system talk again in my school system until we had sex ed in grade 11. So I kind of just forgot about periods until it happened 2 years later in grade 6 and was like oh yeah that was gonna happen but also, wtf do I do now

@InnocentCrow

27w↑5

@CarrionCarriesOn

24w↑2

The joke of the haunted tuning fork summoning an ad every time you hit it is really funny

@ellazenzen8735

29w↑8

I would like to just say very quickly that whatever period prep you got in your school district was significantly better than mine. we didn't look at anything, we maybe labelled a vagina, and the teachers pretty much told us to ask our parents. I saw and attempted to use a tampon for the first time at 14 and it was fucking traumatic.

@sedme0

29w↑6

3:17:36 "my late teenage self who... romanticized the shit out of clinging to unrequited crushes on my friends long past the realization they were definitely not going anywhere mutual"
Felt. Even beyond my teenage years and into my early 20s, years after we stopped even talking to each other...

@mermaidpotato

31w↑69

Only like an hour and a half in, but I wanted to thank you for so promptly and seamlessly having the "it could be gender! we don't know!" convo before I had a chance to spiral about pen names and publishing things under a name that feels more my own than the one I still use for my day job. It's just so nice to see it as part of the main discussion and not an afterthought.

On the period education front, I guess I was never really a cis girl, but I don't find being surprised by summer camp period that unbelievable. Maybe not everybody was hardcore dissociating through the special "girls only" menstruation class, but I definitely wasn't the only one either. And I super didn't realize it was menstruation the first time I got some spotting, but I also didn't realize it was happening until I saw the stain later, so like. The urgency is the foreign part to me. That and getting the tampon in first try.

Last point for now, I appreciate the nuance corner very much. It's been on my mind a lot in recent years and I'd like to propose Dessa's Fire Drills as the nuanced not-objects-of-fear-and-not-tools-of-oppression anthem.

@callmecrookedjack7441

31w

❤❤❤❤ literally listened to dessa just before reading this!!!

@mikkosaarinen3225

20w

I wanted to say something deep here being a transfemme person and having gone from not having basically any fear walking about in the dark to kind of weirdly inheriting that fear with a feminine identity, but I'm too tired and brain mush 😩

Did want to say I also appreciated the gender digression 😁 Obviously also transness and fear is another thing altogether and not dismissing any of that.

@doomgod314

31w↑17

Good to see you're back and posting. You always make great content.

@howdyitsren

31w↑35

1:20:00 as a trans person who would (for a time) have periods and didn’t realize what dysphoria was or that you could be trans without only seeing yourself as 100% a boy, i know i really avoided period products in my tween/early teen years (i was a late bloomer, very athletic, and very skinny) because i didn’t want to acknowledge my body could do that. i was so adverse to the idea of “becoming a woman” or whatever it was sold as. i routinely avoided packing period products despite the foolishness of it to sooth my dysphoria, even though I didn’t know that’s what was going on at the time. so i mean yes maybe girls would pack period products on an extended trip, but not all of us for one reason or another. just another perspective to share.

@suikim9194

29w↑5

I even pretended my periods hadn't happened or wasn't happening at the time. I didn't tell my mother because she would have made a big deal out of it and just the thought made me nauseous.
I pretended so hard that even now years later I honestly couldn't tell you at what age it even started. 😅
So yes, I definitely wouldn't have packed either going on a trip at that age.

@luthientinuviel3883

29w↑6

Im trans and my period is such a time of extreme dread. The rest of the month im fine with my lower bits but periods fill me with horror and im often unprepared because my brain refuses to acknowledge the thing until it slams into me

@mikkosaarinen3225

20w

This made me think of a company (Vuokkoset) in my country (Finland) recently launching a campaign with period products for men. Apparently to go into wider distribution next year? They're also apparently considering non-gendered period products. I don't know if this is a complete miss, transfemme here so you know 😄, but I figured I'd share anyways.

@harlanhardway5955

30w↑10

I had one class, one time, informing me about periods. In the 6th grade we were split into boys and girls and the girls were told that the gym teacher (a woman) had pads available and idk what the boys were told, but it must have involved opening doors for the girls because suddenly that became a thing all the boys were expected to do. No, I am not a boomer, I am a millennial. I am honestly super impressed with the level of education you got on periods.

@keenjanene

31w↑17

I stopped giving books star ratings years ago, even to myself. I couldn’t wrestle past the internal struggle of whether to rate a book based on whether I thought it was ‘good’ or how much I enjoyed reading it. It’s wonderful when those things coincide, but I like to say that I have a high tolerance for bad media, so that doesn’t always happen.

One thing that always bothers me is I think there’s often a huge problem with classism when it comes to looking down on art because it’s not ‘good’ and yet it’s still popular. And this is true for any art medium. That doesn’t mean I think that there’s no value in the criticism of popular art. In some ways I think studying and critiquing popular art is MORE important because it’s popularity can say so much about our society. But I just think people can be so dismissive and elitist about things like that. I mean base human emotions are something we all have. It’s ok to appeal to them just for the sake of it. Isn’t art supposed to make us feel things after all?

@TheSkepticalCat

31w

I also struggle with whether to rate 'good' vs. enjoyment. I've decided that my Goodreads is for me, and I'll just mostly rate on enjoyment (with some weight thrown in for whether it's a 'good' book). The only time I feel bad about it is when I read a book that only has a handful of ratings, and it was bad.... Them's the breaks of reader reviews, though. I do think you're smart for just setting aside star ratings altogether.

@honestlythough7250

31w↑5

Its so funny bc as soon as you picked up the mic and were like “we’re gna talk abt objective art. This is gna be unhinged” i was immediately like “CJ the X coded”. And then there they were. Blessedly on my screen

@DavidJBradley

31w↑8

OK, but can we just talk about how awful it is when paperbacks have a too short cover to show a strip of the praise for this book page? Why would they do this to us?

@darkninjafirefox

31w↑8

Saw the scaredy cats shirt in the thumbnail and you had me

@mintychocho

31w↑6

I definitely understand the artists' rationale of making low-effort art because either it gets rejected because it is bad and you don't have to feel bad because you know it's not your best work, OR it does get accepted and you don't have to put your all into your work.

@georgespiggott5615

29w↑13

I'm very glad that you've been blessed enough that your physical safety has never been compromised walking down the street, but most women i know have been followed/groped/threatened by a stranger on the street multiple times in their lives. Granted, I've lived in a large city my whole life and things are probably different in non-urban areas, but I've walked more than one woman home because they were being threatened or stalked or had previously been assaulted by a stranger while on a walk. It might be a socioeconomic thing; not everyone can afford to call a cab when they feel unsafe.

@petalchild

27w↑1

Thank you.

@blinkfilms1

31w↑6

The intertextuality of this video essay and its space in the video essay cinematic universe/industrial complex is scratching my brain

It's also making me wish I had the energy and confidence to upload the unfinished video taking space on my laptop's hard drive (laziness and gluttony are absolutely my art sins)

@hannahfriedman5634

31w↑6

You had the separated body talk every year. I had it once in 5th grade and the presumed boys came out spraying their free axe spray whiel the presumed girls very quickly hid our items. I can't imagine doing that more than once

@Mike739107

30w↑6

After watching this video, all I can say is this: if you ever want to do a 3.5 hour dissection of an author's work again, I will absolutely be here for it! 💯

@qwertyasdkl

31w↑4

"wake up Yoick, we're getting unhinged" is up there with "Because they're all going to QAnon" as one of my favorite lines from a video essay ever, so thank you for that XD

@amberautumnfaebrooke

32w↑10

i love THE NUANCE ZONE. really enjoy getting to spend as much time as possible in THE NUANCE ZONE.

@alligatorghost

30w↑9

This is not the most important thing but tbh the "no information given" approach to periods was definitely my experience. The only reason I knew about periods was because of my classmates who were already having them.There was so little discussion and so much taboo around talking about periods that I was too scared to ask any of my friends what to do. I was stuffing my underwear with toilet paper for forever and no one told me what I should do either. I definitely had the "at some point you'll start bleeding every couple of weeks just so you know and if you don't then you are pregnant". Then again I went to school in Florida in the early 2000s. Major props to anyone who had the "this is what this is and this is what you do and here are what you need to deal with them" treatment, that would have made my life easier.

@thefollowingisatest4579

31w↑8

You may have made this video as a gift for your sister, but a video of this length is a gift to all of us. And I'm so glad someone else is talking up A Simple Favor (the adaptation), such a blast.

Also Doctor Sleep vid now that adaptation is wild!

@TheWritersBlockOfficial

30w↑20

Is someone getting married? Cause I'm commenting for engagement!

I hope this get's pushed to a broader audience. The depth of analysis, the sharing of perspectives, the entertainment value... Absolutely adore how you make breaking down a body of work art in and of itself. Thank you! Great Job! And (insert the 50 other variations of praise that this deserves)!!!!

@Beto_Serrano

28w↑4

Did I just watch an entire 3 hours and a half video simply because I happened to talk about Gone Girl with my mom today and google somehow spied on me to reccomend this to me?

You're goddamn right I did. And I loved every second of it! I loved this video.

@jackketchem6210

31w↑19

It took 2 sittings and 3 smoke breaks but I made it all the way through!! Quentin Reviews levels of dedication here, that's some serious love for your sister to do this!!

Also, about 3x the fun of the Quentin Schneiderverse thing with a lot more depth in analysis!! This is amazing!!

@tiaharris9907

31w↑8

Genuinely loved this, so glad the algorithm brought me to your video! Riley Sager is my “junk food” reading - I unironically liked “Final Girls” and got every book after that in the vain hope that they would get better. “The House Across the Lake” finally broke me. and thank you for recommending Grady Hendrix - he’s my go-to recommendation for other fans of this genre 😅

@LilayM

31w↑4

Truly a sign of the times we live in that when I see a 4h video from a youtuber I love about a subject I care nothing about, I just go HELL FRIGGIN YES <333
This was a fun ride, thank you for the dedication to your gift.

@KycklingsoppaDeluxe

31w↑6

I did not expect to be enjoying a 3+ hour long deep dive into a genre I haven't been very invested in today, but boy am I glad I did.

@CoreenMontagna

32w↑133

1:27:52 I feel like that plot device is dangerously close to transphobic rhetoric…
P.S. You are SUCH a good sister to do this whole thing for her!

@koboldcatgirl

31w↑42

Right? I doubt he meant or understood it that way, and the awkward rebuttal does sort of serve to rebut the trans impostor stereotype as well, but boy is it clunky.

@mikkosaarinen3225

20w↑1

I mean it is a transphobic trope. I think it's in one of the book recommendations, can't remember which, she recommends Lindsey Ellis' video on transphobia in popular media and that video goes through this very well.

Very briefly it's the idea of a man using a feminine form to get close to women. Which is exactly the idea floated in the text. I didn't find it so disturbing because it also kinda reads like a cishet male fantasy about being in a feminine body and that kinda made it mostly cringey to me. But the transphobic trope is definitely there in the text.

@wastelanderone

31w↑8

I was 13 in 2002 and while we were informed of the existence of pads and tampons it wasn't until 2003. Luckily I myself didn't have my period until I turned 15 lol.

@carolsimpson4422

31w

That's so crazy to me as a Canadian. I was 9 in 1985 and got the complete rundown. Though it was an old manual and they explained how to use those belt things pads used to be attached to before they invented the sticky strip that adheres the pads to the panties. Those had completely disappeared from the market by that time 😂

@literally_a_crow

31w↑4

oh yeah, this is another one for the listen to this at work playlist

@PrincessMadeira

30w↑25

As a gay trans man who's typically read in public as a woman this is really interesting to me. I've been flashed and followed and had people say some really scary things to me. I've noticed that when my body language was less consciously feminine it was significantly worse, I think some of that shit happens is honestly policing people perceived as women who are like... not fitting the role.

It's also really interesting in the ways it contrasts my experience with those of people who are in fact women.

@red_velvetcake1759

29w↑5

I'm not sure if by 'contrasts my experience ' means you think women experience less sexual harassment, but if so I guarantee you they don't.

@PrincessMadeira

29w

That is definitely not what I meant, just that the way patriarchy enforces itself is multifaceted and has many angles. I do think women with relative privilege (white, wealthy, gender-conforming, straight etc) receive less than their more marginalized counterparts. @@red_velvetcake1759

@baintreachas

25w

@@red_velvetcake1759 mmm but "cis, gender-conforming women experience less sexual harassment on the street than trans, GNC women"... or, "people perceived as cis, GNC women experience less public sexual harassment on the street than people perceived as trans, GNC women" is my experience. so, i can guarantee it's more complicated than that

@youtubesupportsfascism

23w

@@baintreachasnot sure why a non woman is speaking over women again (oh wait, all you non women are violent misogynists happy to help rapists).

@IDontKnowMyName-tv1ze

31w↑6

This video was truly amazing throughout and the last half hour was just phenomenal. This channel is an absolute gem

@taeilsbian1010

28w↑4

3 1/2 hours and I had never heard of Riley Sager until 3 1/2 hours ago (not the books I usually read) but I sure do now and I’m glad I spent almost 4 hours learning.
It’s also a video I’m so glad I watched because as a yet-published writer I kind of needed to be reminded that it’s okay if my drafts aren’t perfect literature because there’s gonna be somebody that needs a light read

@ashleygriffin

31w↑7

It's always a better day when Laura posts a video!

@sevenlonelyhours

31w↑4

with every video i watch from you i am personally enriched, it always triggers some reflection and journalling. such a fan; thank you!!!!!

@bergeneickhoff7570

31w↑5

Finally. I’ve been waiting two years for a 3.5-hour long Laura Crone video. This is going to be incredible!!!

@chrishelvey6959

31w↑5

it's so weird to me that publishers had to be woken up to women liking thriller novels, I knew about James Patterson for example because my mom and grandmother read his books

@EnergyCuddles

28w↑1

How have I listened to this video three times over the last couple of weeks? Silently nodding along, chuckling every now and then, rewinding 15 seconds a couple of times just
to make sure I heard it right, and by proxy cringing at those really awkward excerpts (even instinctively getting up and away from the computer at one point!). I love this, so much.

This was a masterfully crafted birthday gift for your sister – it's a palatial feast in verbal form. With this thorough analysis you've taken us all along for the journey, and I can
honestly say that I have gained something from it, something that you built inside of us using only your carefully formed (and informed !) opinions, and you communicated it
with such an engaging verve that it simply compels us to reflect.

I'm sure that you've heard this a fair number of times before, but it bears repetition: You have a great way with words! ♥

@weirdandproudofit1

31w↑3

Came for the amazing title, stayed for literally everything else. I'm in love with your content now.

@picahudsoniaunflocked5426

31w↑2

Expected to take this in lil' bird nibbles but I gorged on this whole dang video nom-nom-nommed it right down in 1 go.

@evier2764

28w↑3

I think this is some of your best work. I have never read any of these books, and I have no interest in reading them. You still managed to make this so compelling, and to tie it in with problems I see in other media, that I was engaged the whole way through, and I might have to watch it again to get the most I can out of it. You're doing a great job, and I can't wait to see what you do next.

@sappho4828

28w↑4

i also think that the 'following a murder, the mc has so many repressed memories that even they don't know if they did it!' gimmick of final girls is executed much better in 'in my dreams i hold a knife' by ashley winstead!! it's got a slightly different vibe, but it's a delicious study in obsession and i thought it executed the unreliable narrator thing super well. one of my favourite reads of the year so far!

@Ancusohm

31w↑3

Saw this on Nebula. It's a great video!

@ameliabielby9387

31w↑1

this is the best video essay i've ever seen. i watched it over the course of like three days and by the end i'd forgotten the opening and i was reminded of it when you quoted the opening clip and oh my god. the circularity of that alone is astounding. the way so many different points and throughlines are brought together and executed perfectly is so impressive. thank you so much for this

@juliawiggers9179

31w↑4

52:10 I know we're supposed to be bullying you into doing the video on Dr Sleep and/or The Shining, but I for one would love a video on the "last minute recontextualization" plot twist. Or just on I'm Thinking About Ending Things (the book) because I am constantly baffled by how many thriller/horror readers seem to adore it & I would love to see more from people who share my frustrations.

Speaking of books, as someone who lurks on booktube about as much as video essay / cultural analysis youtube, I can confirm it is a fascinating place and occasionally a terrifying one (said affectionately.... well, for the most part).

@cealens

31w↑7

to add on to the sex ed convos happening here i was never spilt away from the boys to have a “girls only” sex ed other than 4th grade where it was very basic overview of puberty in general. i remember getting most of my period sex ed in middle school where they went into the scientific reasons why periods happen which i may just remember the most because i’m a lil nerd and found it interesting. they told us periods are only about “a tablespoon of blood” and only last 3-4 days for most people which…… uhm…. lol. they told us we can get pads from this nurse and that tampons exist. that’s basically the extent we got.

the anatomy diagrams we got were mostly of the internal parts not the outside so i had no idea where the vagina hole was before i stuck my phone down there using the front camera when i was like 20 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i knew we had three holes but i didn’t know where they were exactly lol

i got my first period in 8th grade and didn’t really know that period blood could be brown so i thought i shit myself at first fun fact

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