Growing up in the early 90’s & 2000’s pop punk/rock scene, for Taylor Acorn it was never a phase. Hailing from the small North Central Pennsylvania town of Wellsboro, Taylor had always dreamed of a career in music and in 2014, dropped out of Kutztown University to pursue just that, setting her sights for Nashville in 2017.
She first left her mark in the country music world with her 2017 single “Put It In a Song” followed up by an EP she wrote solely on her own, which now garners nearly 30 Million streams on Spotify alone, releasing several singles to follow. However, she never felt at home creating country music and in the midst of the 2020 pandemic went back to her pop punk roots with her cover of “Jamie All Over” on TikTok, sparking the attention of many elder emo fans as well as Mayday Parade themselves. Since then, she has gained the attention of many emo/pop punk bands with her newly rendered versions of their songs.
Covers aren’t the only thing that’s been grasping the attention of fans though. With her infectiously relatable releases of “Do That Again”, "In My Head” and “Shapeshifting”, Taylor is now leaving her own footprint in the pop punk community giving her fans a place to feel safe and to feel heard, by tackling tough subjects such as mental health by sharing her own personal struggles. She wants to give her listeners a space where they can feel free and vulnerable, a place where healing is accepted no matter who you are or where you’ve come from.
It's Not This
Taylor Acorn Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Αnd I brought back the side οf me yοu always wanted to change
Αnd I swore that I wοuldn't still care sο much but Ι dο
Ι′ve been waking up my demons all in spite οf yοu
Βut I think tο myself where yοu've been and it hurts like hell
Ι drown yοu out again
Whatever it is that's gοnna get me οver you, it′s not this
Ιt isn′t halfway blackout at a shithοle dive
Ιt isn't secretly wishing you′d call
Saying baby wοn't yοu come back hοme
Whatever it is
Ιt′s nοt this, it's not this, οοh oh
Ιt′s nοt this, ooh oh
Ι'm treading water wishing yοu were here
Ι ask fοr coffee and yοu say it's not a gοοd idea
Αnd yοu swear it′s not that yοu dοn′t love me
Just that yοu need space
Βut I don't blame yοu, Ι don′t even lοve myself these days
Ι think tο myself who yοu've been with, it hurts like hell
Ι drown yοu out the best Ι can
Whatever it is that′s gοnna get me οver you
Ιt's nοt this
Ιt isn′t halfway blackout at a shithοle dive
Kissing strangers tο fοrget you exist
Ιt isn't secretly wishing you'd call
Saying baby wοn′t yοu come back hοme
Whatever it is
Ιt′s nοt this, it's not this, οοh oh
Νο, it′s not this, ooh οh
Ιt's nοt thinking that you might be thinking οf
Me while Ι′m going through the mοtiοns with somebody
Οr taking the lοng way hοme
Sο Ι don't pass the places we used tο go
Ιt′s nοt telling everybody that Ι'm οkay
When Ι knοw I'd lose it if Ι ever saw yοu face
Ι guess lοve is conditional, Ι′ll never make yοu hοld
Whatever it is
Ιt′s nοt this
Νο whatever it is
Ιt's nοt this
Νο I′m never gonna get that call
Saying baby wοn't yοu come back hοme
Αnd that yοu might miss what it was
Befοre it was this
Οοh oh, ooh oh
In Taylor Acorn's song "It's Not This", the lyrics talk about a heartbreak that the singer is going through. The first verse talks about the singer doing everything that their lover hated and bringing back the side of them that they always wanted to change. Even though the singer swore that they wouldn't care about their lover so much anymore, they still do, and they've been waking up their demons in spite of them. However, the singer knows that whatever they're doing isn't going to help them get over their lover. In the chorus, the singer lists things that aren't going to help them move on from their lover, such as drinking, kissing strangers, or secretly wishing their lover would come back home. The singer repeats the phrase "it's not this," emphasizing that the things they're doing won't help them heal from their heartbreak.
The second verse talks about the singer treading water, wishing their lover was there with them. The singer asks for coffee, and their lover says it's not a good idea. Their lover explains that they don't not love the singer, but they need space. The singer understands but doesn't love themselves these days. They think to themselves about who their lover has been with, which hurts them. However, the singer knows that they have to drown out their lover the best they can. The chorus repeats, emphasizing that nothing the singer does will help them get over their lover.
Overall, the song is about heartbreak and the struggle to move on after a relationship ends. The singer acknowledges that they're doing things that won't help them get over their lover but they're doing them anyway. The lyrics are relatable as many people have gone through heartbreak and have tried to do things to get over it that ultimately won't help them.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm doing everything you always said you hated
I am acting in a way that you have always expressed disapproval for.
And I brought back the side of me you always wanted to change
I am reverting to a previous version of myself that you tried to change.
And I swore that I wouldn't still care so much but I do
I promised myself that I would not feel so strongly about you anymore, but I still do.
I've been waking up my demons all in spite of you
I have been intentionally provoking my inner demons, despite knowing that it would upset you.
But I think to myself where you've been and it hurts like hell
Whenever I wonder where you have been, I feel a great deal of pain.
I drown you out again
I attempt to block out thoughts of you once more.
Whatever it is that's gonna get me over you, it's not this
I have come to realize that engaging in these behaviors is not going to help me move on from you.
It isn't halfway blackout at a shithole dive
Getting extremely drunk at a seedy bar is not what will help me forget about you.
Kissing strangers to forget you exist
I cannot erase my feelings for you by kissing other people I do not care about.
It isn't secretly wishing you'd call
Hoping that you will call me secretly is not the way to get over you.
Saying baby won't you come back home
Begging you to come back to me will not help me recover from this heartbreak.
I'm treading water wishing you were here
I feel like I am going nowhere and longing for you to be with me.
I ask for coffee and you say it's not a good idea
When I ask to meet up with you, you decline and say it is not a wise decision.
And you swear it's not that you don't love me
You tell me that the reason for us being apart is not because you do not love me.
Just that you need space
You need some time and distance to think things through.
But I don't blame you, I don't even love myself these days
I can't even blame you for the separation, as I have stopped loving myself lately.
Whatever it is that's gonna get me over you, it's not this
None of these actions will help me move on from you.
It's not thinking that you might be thinking of me
Believing that you are thinking of me does not make me feel any better.
While I'm going through the motions with somebody
Engaging in meaningless relationships with others does not help me forget about you.
Or taking the long way home
Taking a different route home to avoid places we used to visit does not alleviate my pain.
So I don't pass the places we used to go
I avoid any places that remind me of our time together.
It's not telling everybody that I'm okay
Pretending that I am doing fine when I am actually not does not help me move on.
When I know I'd lose it if I ever saw you face
If I ever run into you, I know I would lose my composure.
I guess love is conditional, I'll never make you hold
Love can be conditional, and I will not force you to stay with me.
No, I'm never gonna get that call
I know that you will not call me to come back to you.
Saying baby won't you come back home
Begging you to come back is not going to work.
And that you might miss what it was before it was this
I think you will miss the time before we started having these issues.
Writer(s): Taylor Acorn, Daniel Henry Swank
Contributed by Peyton M. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@CountryParadise
Lyrics: Taylor Acorn feat. Dan Swank - It's Not This
[Verse 1: Taylor Acorn]
I’m doing everything you always said you hated
And I brought back the side of me you always wanted to change
I swore that I wouldn’t still care so much - but I do.
I’ve been waking up my demons all in spite of you
[Pre-Chorus 1]
But I think to myself where you’ve been
And it hurts like hell
I drown you out again.
[Chorus]
Whatever it is that’s gonna get me over you
It’s not this
It isn’t halfway blackout at a sh*thole dive
Kissing strangers to forget you exist
It isn’t secretly wishing you’d call
Saying baby won’t you come back home
Whatever it is
It’s not this
It’s not this
[Verse 2: Dan Swank]
I’m treading water wishing you were here
I ask for coffee and you say it’s not a good idea
And you swear it’s not that you don’t love me - just that you need space
But I don’t blame you, I don’t even love myself these days
[Pre-Chorus 2]
I think to myself who you’ve been with
It hurts like hell
I drown you out the best I can
[Chorus]
Whatever it is that’s gonna get me over you
It’s not this
It isn’t halfway blackout at a sh*thole dive
Kissing strangers to forget you exist
It isn’t secretly wishing you’d call
Saying baby won’t you come back home
Whatever it is
It’s not this
It’s not this
[Bridge]
It’s not thinking that you might be thinking of me
While I’m going through the motions with somebody
Or taking the long way home
So I don’t pass the places we used to go
It’s not telling everybody that I’m okay
When I know I’d lose it if I ever saw your face
I guess love is conditional
I’ll never make you whole.
Whatever it is
It’s not this
No whatever it is
It’s not this
[Chorus 3]
I know I’m never gonna get that call
Saying baby won’t you come back home
And that you might miss
What it was
Before it was this
Songwriters: Taylor Acorn and Dan Swank
@CountryParadise
Question of the day: How are you feeling today?
@kelseyleigh245
Blah.
@maryam_8464
Sad😞
@wavemusic
Optimistic about today!
@CountryParadise
Hope you're having a better day today!
@CountryParadise
Sending out good vibes to make today less blah!
@nyukla13
The sad, lonely sounds of pain and longing. “No I'm never gonna get that call.” Maybe YOU should make that call! Coffee is ALWAYS a good idea! 🦋🦋
@pamlay4167
Waiting patiently for him.
FOR OUR Future!
@nyalltrolls5767
Amazing piece of music! Thought provokingly good.
@millhouse210
You nailed it!!!