During her interview for Apple Music Awards 2020, Taylor stated that she wrote “tolerate it” based on a book she was reading entitled Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, and how she had felt like the novel's narrator at some point in her life:
“When I was reading Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier and I was thinking, ‘Wow, her husband just tolerates her. She’s doing all these things and she’s trying so hard and she’s trying to impress him, and he’s just tolerating her the whole time. There was a part of me that was relating to that, because at some point in my life, I felt that way.”
tolerate it
Taylor Swift Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Head low
I wake and watch you breathing with your
Eyes closed
I sit and watch you
And notice everything you do or don't do
You're so much older and wiser and I
Use my best colors for your portrait
Lay the table with the fancy shit
And watch you tolerate it
If it's all in my head tell me now
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it
I greet you with a battle hero's welcome
I take your indiscretions all in good fun
I sit and listen
I polish plates until they gleam and glisten
You're so much older and wiser and I
I wait by the door like I'm just a kid
Use my best colors for your portrait
Lay the table with the fancy shit
And watch you tolerate it
If it's all in my head tell me now
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it
While you were out building other worlds, where was I?
Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?
I made you my temple, my mural, my sky
Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life
Drawing hearts in the byline
Always taking up too much space or time
You assume I'm fine
But what would you do if I, I
Break free and leave us in ruins
Took this dagger in me and removed it
Gain the weight of you then lose it
Believe me, I could do it
If it's all in my head tell me now
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it
I sit and watch you
The lyrics of "tolerate it" tell the story of a woman in a relationship where she feels unappreciated and undervalued. She watches her partner, who is older and wiser, and notices everything he does or doesn't do. She waits by the door like a child, uses her best colors for his portrait, and lays out the fancy dishes, but all he does is tolerate it. The woman feels like she's giving her all, and her love should be celebrated, but it's not. She wonders if it's all in her head and if she's wrong somehow. She feels like she's always taking up too much space or time and is readily assumed to be fine.
The chorus shows her frustration and sadness while trying to find a way to express her discontent. She muses about breaking free and leaving them in ruins, but she also contemplates the weight of it all. She believes that she could do it, but she's not sure. She asks her partner to tell her that she's got it all wrong and that her love is rightly celebrated. However, she knows that he only tolerates it.
The song tells a tale of a woman who feels trapped in a relationship where she is always going above and beyond, but it is not enough. She feeds her partner's ego and tries to keep the relationship alive, but it doesn't feel reciprocated. The words of Taylor Swift resonate with so many people who have felt underappreciated and unloved in their relationships.
Line by Line Meaning
I sit and watch you reading with your
Head low
I observe you with your head hanging down while you read.
I wake and watch you breathing with your
Eyes closed
I observe you as you peacefully breathe, with your eyes closed.
I sit and watch you
And notice everything you do or don't do
I focus on every action or inaction of yours while I watch you.
You're so much older and wiser and I
You are much more experienced and knowledgeable than I am.
I wait by the door like I'm just a kid
I wait by the door, feeling like a child.
Use my best colors for your portrait
I use my finest colors to paint your portrait.
Lay the table with the fancy shit
I decorate the table with elegant items.
And watch you tolerate it
And notice that you are merely putting up with it.
If it's all in my head tell me now
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow
If my assumptions are incorrect, please correct me.
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it
I believe my love for you should be celebrated, but feel you are merely enduring it.
I greet you with a battle hero's welcome
I welcome you with enthusiastic fanfare as if you were a battle hero.
I take your indiscretions all in good fun
I overlook your mistakes and bad choices for the sake of amusement.
I sit and listen
I polish plates until they gleam and glisten
I listen to you speak while shining plates to perfection.
While you were out building other worlds, where was I?
While you were pursuing other interests, where was I in your life?
Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?
Where is the man who would protect me from harm and shield me from pain?
I made you my temple, my mural, my sky
I have given you the highest reverence and regard, treating you as my symbol of worship, my masterpiece, and my source of hope.
Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life
Now I am pleading for just a small mention or acknowledgement in your life's narrative.
Drawing hearts in the byline
Always taking up too much space or time
I leave small, loving symbols on the edges of your notes, while feeling guilty for always needing too much attention.
You assume I'm fine
You presume that everything is okay with me.
But what would you do if I, I
Break free and leave us in ruins
But what would happen if I were to break free from our relationship and leave us both damaged?
Took this dagger in me and removed it
Gain the weight of you then lose it
I would endure the pain caused by a toxic relationship before finally gaining control and releasing the weight you have on me.
Believe me, I could do it
Trust me, I am capable of doing this.
If it's all in my head tell me now
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow
Please inform me if my perception is mistaken.
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it
I am convinced that my love for you deserves to be recognized, but feel that you are merely enduring it.
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: Aaron Brooking Dessner, Taylor A. Swift
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@samanthadonjuan9483
When she says "believe me I could do it" it sounds so painful, to me with that phrase she's trying to convince herself that she can leave, more than trying to convince him, but deep down she knows she won't leave.
@TheAlfredPlatform
yes the bridge is just genius. We've all been there, tried to convince ourselves we could leave but just couldn't. Brilliant.
@nawarb.4226
And then the last line is the first line again, showing that even though she contemplated leaving, nothing has changed, she's still sitting and watching him, and everything she feels during this song, she'll feel again.
@brittjetaime
She's not trying to convince herself. She's trying to warn him.
@TheAlfredPlatform
@@brittjetaime the song is an internal dialogue she is having with herself.
@CaitMcKi
@@TheAlfredPlatform I interpret it as a warning, even if she hasn't said it out loud to him yet (and although she's struggling with how painful of a thought it is, the most painful part is this is likely how they'll end up).
@nivagraciellesamonte3588
Normal people: I made you my priority and you're just making me an option
Taylor: "I made you my temple, my mural, my sky. Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life"
@willinguyen1
keenly observed and well said.
@khadeejaahmad2247
My favourite line!!!
@francinev3971
in taylor's, she wasnt even an option and she was begging to be one aidhsjdjdjf