The Moment I Knew
Taylor Swift (Deluxe) Lyrics

You should've been there,
I expected you to come to my party and be there for me.

Should've burst through the door,
I wanted you to make a grand entrance and show how excited you were to be there.

With that 'baby I'm right here' smile,
I was waiting for you to flash me that special, comforting smile that makes everything better.

And it would've felt like,
If you had been there, it would have been an amazing moment.

A million little shining stars had just aligned,
Everything would have fallen perfectly into place if you had come to the party.

And I would've been so happy.
Your presence would have made all the difference and I would have been so much happier.

Christmas lights glisten,
The setting was festive and bright with Christmas lights shining everywhere.

I've got my eye on the door,
I was anxiously waiting for you to arrive.

Just waiting for you to walk in,
I wanted you to show up and make everything better by being there for me.

But the time is ticking,
Time was running out and I was getting more and more worried that you wouldn't show up.

People ask me how I've been
People were asking me how I was doing at the party.

As I comb back through my memory,
I went over our previous conversations and tried to understand why you didn't come to the party.

How you said you'd be here,
You had promised me that you would come to the party.

You said you'd be here.
You had confirmed that you would come to the party.

And it was like slow motion,
When I realized you weren't coming, everything seemed to slow down and be more painful.

Standing there in my party dress,
I was all dressed up and ready for the party, but you weren't there.

In red lipstick,
I was wearing bright red lipstick, which added to my festive outfit, but it meant nothing without you there.

With no one to impress,
No matter how good I looked and how much effort I had put in, it didn't matter if you weren't there to see it.

And they're all laughing,
Everyone else was having a great time and celebrating, but I was feeling alone and miserable.

As I'm looking around the room,
I was searching the room, hoping you would show up at any moment.

But there was one thing missing,
Despite all the decorations, fun and people, there was one thing missing - you.

And that was the moment I knew.
It was the moment when I realized the significance of your absence and how much it had hurt me.

And the hours pass by,
Time went on and I was still upset and alone, hours after realizing you wouldn't be coming.

Now I just wanna be alone,
I felt so upset and hurt that I just wanted to be left alone.

But your close friends always seem to know
Despite wanting to be alone, your friends knew something was wrong and kept checking in on me.

When there's something really wrong,
Your friends knew that something serious had happened, and they didn't give up until they could help.

So they follow me down the hall,
Your friends followed me to try and talk, comfort me and make sure I was okay.

And there in the bathroom,
I had gone to the bathroom to be alone, but your friends had followed me there.

I try not to fall apart,
I tried my best not to cry and have an emotional breakdown in front of them.

And the sinking feeling starts,
All the pain, sadness and disappointment began to sink in and I couldn't hide it anymore.

As I say hopelessly,
I spoke with hopelessness and sadness as I said...

"He said he'd be here."
I kept thinking about how you promised to come to the party and how you let me down.

And asking me about you,
Everyone else at the party kept asking about you and where you were.

What do you say
I didn't know how to respond or what to say.

When tears are streaming down your face
I was crying and feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

In front of everyone you know?
I was crying in front of people I knew and it wasn't easy to handle.

And what do you do when the one
I was struggling with the fact that the person I needed most wasn't there.

Who means the most to you
That you meant the most to me.

Is the one who didn't show?
You were the one who didn't show up, I was relying on you and you let me down.

And they're all standing around me singing
If any person wasn't at the party, they wouldn't have noticed. But you were important and your absence was keenly felt.

"Happy birthday to you",
Everyone was singing for me, trying to make me feel better.

But there was one thing missing,
I appreciated the celebration, but it was incomplete without you there with me.

Ooh, I knew.
I knew deep down that I couldn't stay mad at you or bear to be without you, despite the pain.

You called me later,
You eventually called me to explain why you didn't show up.

And said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it,"
You apologized and admitted that you failed to come to the party as promised.

And I said, "I'm sorry too,"
I also apologized and recognized that our relationship had bumps and issues and that we both had faults.

And that was the moment I knew.
It was in this moment that I realized that despite everything, we still cared for each other and wanted to make things better.