The band consists of singer-songwriter and guitarist Ted Leo, guitarist James Canty, bassist Marty 'Violence' Key, and drummer Chris Wilson. After his previous band, Chisel, broke up in the late 1990s, Ted recorded the Tej Leo(?) Rx Pharmacists [sic] album in 1999, followed by the Treble in Trouble EP in 2000.
His next album, 2001's The Tyranny of Distance, quickly gained him a cult following and critical praise. Dave Lerner and Chris Wilson became permanent members of the band during the tour that year, as did keyboard player Dorien Garry. James Canty (ex-Nation of Ulysses, Make-Up, etc.) also played with the band during this time.
The album Hearts of Oak followed in 2003, which also saw the release of the concert film Dirty Old Town and the Tell Balgeary, Balgury is Dead EP. Garry left the band before the recording of 2004's Shake the Sheets, which has led them into their current setup as a power trio. The new record featured fewer obscure references and more overt political content than his previous releases did, though his music has always been known for its engagement with politics.
The band tours extensively around North America. Leo is a strict vegan. His brother Chris Leo is also a singer/songwriter and a member of The Lapse. Ted Leo graduated from the University of Notre Dame in 1994 with a degree in English.
St. John the Divine
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists Lyrics
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But your place in relation to it has changed
And when the word begins to lose
Its power to restore and soothe
And when the blackness starts its spread
From behind your tired head
What taxes now was once your wealth
And when the night spreads into day
In one unbroken spread of gray
And when the darkness fills the space
Between the bone and skin of your face
And seeps between your skull and brain
As input filters through its stain
The tightness in your brow contains
What poisoned yesterday but now sustains
And when the night begins its flow
And you watch yourself give up control
When what was cold now keeps you warm
And you watch your outer self transform
And the one you love
Keeps the faith that you can rise above
But if you've kept faith with yourself
You might admit that you could use some help
Remove yourself and study close
When next the dark begins its flow
If clinical the problem be
Remove yourself and you will see
When next the blackness flow begins
I eat your pills, you eat my sins
And take me back to prouder days
But please don't take my anger away
And I don't pray
But I humble myself
I am on my knees today
I don't pray
The lyrics of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists' "St. John the Divine" speak to a sense of unease and discomfort in the face of change and darkness. The song suggests that when the world around us remains the same but our personal experience of it shifts, the words and concepts we once found comforting may lose their power. As the darkness seeps into our thoughts and physical being, what once seemed like wealth may become a burden and what once ached now brings sustenance. The lyrics suggest that self-reflection and detachment may be necessary to understand this process, though admitting one needs help is an important step as well.
The song's chorus speaks to a seemingly paradoxical situation: as the darkness spreads, one's sense of control might slip away, but in that moment of loss, one may actually begin to feel more grounded and warm. Moreover, the lyrics suggest that relying on the help of others, the input of medical professionals, or simply observing oneself more closely may be a way to understand, if not overcome, these shifts.
Overall, the song speaks to feelings of uncertainty, inadequacy, and perhaps even shame that can accompany mental illness, personal struggles, or other periods of transition. It is an honest, raw meditation on what it means to face these challenges, and suggests that even in the most difficult moments, there may be hope for renewal and transformation.
Line by Line Meaning
And when the world will stay the same
Despite external changes, your reality may continue as it is.
But your place in relation to it has changed
Nevertheless, your perspective has shifted.
And when the word begins to lose
As language starts to lose its potency,
Its power to restore and soothe
Its ability to comfort and heal may fade as well.
And when the blackness starts its spread
When depression or sorrow begins to take hold,
From behind your tired head
Invading from the depths of your exhaustion
What taxes now was once your wealth
What takes energy from you now may have been a source of power before.
What sucks and aches becomes your health
What used to be painful and depleting may now be necessary and sustaining.
And when the night spreads into day
When darkness overshadows daylight,
In one unbroken spread of gray
Leaving you in a continuous haze of confusion and despair.
And when the darkness fills the space
When it permeates every inch of your being,
Between the bone and skin of your face
Even occupying the space within your head,
And seeps between your skull and brain
Penetrating your thoughts and emotions,
As input filters through its stain
As outside information gets distorted by its influence.
The tightness in your brow contains
The tension in your forehead encapsulates,
What poisoned yesterday but now sustains
What used to be toxic is now essential to cope and survive.
And when the night begins its flow
When you feel the onset of darkness,
And you watch yourself give up control
As you witness yourself losing the ability to manage your own mind,
When what was cold now keeps you warm
When what used to be cold and distant now provides comfort and safety.
And you watch your outer self transform
As you observe changes in your outward appearance and behavior.
And the one you love
Your partner or loved one,
Keeps the faith that you can rise above
Has confidence that you can overcome your struggles.
But if you've kept faith with yourself
However, if you believe in yourself,
You might admit that you could use some help
You'll acknowledge that you can benefit from seeking assistance.
Remove yourself and study close
Take a step back and observe closely,
When next the dark begins its flow
When you experience the next wave of darkness,
If clinical the problem be
If your condition is a clinical issue,
Remove yourself and you will see
You should distance yourself and gain perspective.
When next the blackness flow begins
When the wave of depression returns,
I eat your pills, you eat my sins
I take your prescribed medication, and you share my burden of guilt.
And take me back to prouder days
And transport me to a time when I felt more confident or successful.
But please don't take my anger away
However, don't take away my anger, which can be motivating and empowering.
And I don't pray
And I don't turn to religion for solace or guidance.
But I humble myself
But I acknowledge my own limitations and ask for help and support.
I am on my knees today
I am in a vulnerable and desperate state of mind right now.
I don't pray
Even though I don't pray,
Contributed by Audrey T. Suggest a correction in the comments below.