In a Hola Again
Tesla Lyrics

Don't want anyone to know
I don't want to reveal my true self to anyone.

Who I really am so they'll never see
I fear that if I reveal myself, nobody will accept me.

All the things I hide behind these precious walls
I have built walls around me to hide the things I don't want others to see.

I built just for me
I built these walls for my own protection and privacy.

So if they look into the windows of my soul
If someone tries to get to know me better and look inside me,

All they're gonna see
They'll only see

Are my eyes starin' back
My eyes looking back at them,

And not shattered glass or the broken side of me
and they won't see the shattered parts of me that are hidden behind the walls.

'Cause I'm so afraid to show my darkest secrets
I'm scared of showing my deepest fears and vulnerabilities.

I keep them wrapped in chains
I keep them locked up and hidden.

And locked up in a place where no one goes
I keep them in a place where no one can ever reach them.

But I'm sure my insecurities will give it all away
Even though I hide them, my insecurities will inevitably reveal my deepest secrets.

I'm heading fast straight for a crash and burn
I know that I'm on the path to self-destruction and disaster.

For me there is no shame
I don't feel any shame for my actions and the way I am.

Back in a hole again
I feel trapped and isolated in my own hiding place

I'm in a hole again
I'm drowning in my own fears and insecurities.

And I don't need a friend
I feel that I'm better off without any companionship or support.

So safe and sound
I feel comfortable and secure in my own darkness

I'm finally back of course behind the mask
I'm back to my old ways of hiding behind a facade.

I've always worn for you
I've always hidden my true self from you, the world, and myself.

To distract you, since I couldn't face the fact
I've been distracting myself and others from my true self because I couldn't bear to face it.

That someone ever knew
I don't want anyone to know about my true nature.

That all I am is just some smoke and mirrors
I recognize that my true self is just an illusion, and not something real.

And a gun pointin' back at you
If you ever try to get too close, I'll strike back and reveal the ugliest parts of myself.

And you to catch me in the act of this
I'm scared that you'll find out and catch me being vulnerable.

I know it would be through
It would be the end for me if you found out.

All these years I've lived in fear
I've lived in constant fear for years and years now.

That you would find out
I'm scared that you'll find out.

Just exactly what I'm made of
You'll know my true nature and what I'm truly capable of.

Or what I'm really all about
You'll know what true intentions I have kept hidden all these years.

And it would kill me just to see you
The thought of seeing you find out would break me.

Point your finger and hear you say
I can't bear to hear you say or imply

"You're one of them."
"You're just like all of them."

So I'll be on my way
It's better for me to leave and retreat into my own darkness.