Battletoads
The Adventures of Duane and BrandO Lyrics

Battletoads...
We are the Battletoads and we are ready for action.

I'm gonna hit you in the face with my big ass fists, 'cause we're the Battletoads bitch and we don't take no shit.
We will use our powerful fists to defeat our enemies and show that we are the Battletoads who do not back down.

Enemies step up and they get knocked the fuck out! (Pow!)
Anyone who opposes us will be swiftly and decisively defeated.

Knocked the fuck out, so what the fuck's up now?
Having successfully defeated our enemies, we challenge anyone who dares to face us.

Punch a bird in the face and use his mouth as a weapon.
We employ unconventional tactics, such as using a bird's mouth as a weapon, to overcome obstacles.

Ride a jet to the goal and keep them all guessin'.
We use a jet to quickly reach our objective, leaving our enemies confused and unsure of our next move.

How did they do that?
Our enemies are amazed and baffled by our abilities.

Do what?
They inquire about the specific feat we have just accomplished.

Get through that.
We successfully navigate through a challenging part of the game.

Place with the snakes?
Referring to a location in the game filled with dangerous snakes.

I don't know, shit.
We are unsure of how we managed to overcome that particular obstacle.

We're through that.
We have successfully completed the challenging section with the snakes.

We're comin' with the force, and we'll be there soon.
We are approaching our objective with determination and speed.

You can't stop us motherfucker, no matter what you do, 'cause we're the Battletoads.
Our enemies are warned that they cannot prevent our success, as we are the powerful Battletoads.

We're the Battletoads.
We reaffirm our identity as the Battletoads.

What what, what what what we're the Battletoads.
We proudly declare our name as the Battletoads once again.

Represent motherfucker, we're the Battletoads.
We assert our dominance and make it clear that we proudly represent the Battletoads.

I told you motherfuckers better leave us alone.
Our enemies are warned to stay away from us, as we are formidable opponents.

Messin' with the best, and everyone knows; you never mess around with the BATTLETOADS.
Our enemies are reminded that they should never underestimate or provoke the Battletoads.

Round 2, what the hell you gonna do?
In the second round, we challenge our enemies and ask them how they plan to respond.

When we take the enemy and kick his ass to the moon?
We will defeat our enemies so thoroughly that they will be sent into space.

See, I beat the Ice Zone with precision.
We have successfully navigated and conquered the challenging Ice Zone section of the game with skill and accuracy.

Surfed on the river like a man on a mission.
We swiftly and confidently glided through the river section of the game, displaying our determination and focus.

Destroyed the enemies and left 'em all bitchin'.
We defeated our enemies and left them complaining and feeling defeated.

I'm so hungry I could eat a whole kitchen!
We emphasize our intense hunger by proclaiming we could eat an entire kitchen.

See them fuckin' Ninja Turtles ain't got shit on this.
We assert that the Ninja Turtles have nothing on us in terms of skill and capability.

Whoop their ass, introduce 'em to my fists.
We confidently declare that we will defeat the Ninja Turtles by using our powerful fists.

I may be warty, but I got some skill.
We acknowledge our physical appearance but emphasize our skill and abilities regardless.

I got a bitchin' arm band, and a license to kill.
We boast about our cool arm band and suggest that we are authorized to take down our enemies.

Professor T. Bird with an assignment for you.
We introduce Professor T. Bird, who has an important task for us.

It looks like Princess Angelica and Pimple are doomed, unless you hurry hurry hurry go and rescue them soon!
The situation appears dire for Princess Angelica and Pimple, and we must act quickly to save them before it's too late.

Show the Dark Queen the meaning of what it is we do.
We aim to demonstrate to the Dark Queen our capabilities and purpose.

We're gonna break down, like a skin disease.
We will defeat the Dark Queen and cause her to suffer significant defeat.

Save Pimple and the Princess from the Dark Queen.
Our mission is to rescue Pimple and the Princess from the clutches of the Dark Queen.

I'm tellin' ya right now, Professor T..
We assure Professor T. Bird that we are ready and determined to accomplish our mission.

There ain't nobody gonna fuck with me!
We declare that no one will be able to defeat or challenge us.

Make my way through the stage, I'm a fist of rage!
We confidently navigate through the game level with anger and determination.

Just stay the fuck out of my way, okay?
We warn others to avoid getting in our way.

See I'm very pissed off, it's a fucked up day, and in a fucked up way.
We express our intense anger and frustration with the current situation.

I'm gonna mess up your face!
We threaten to physically harm our enemies and cause damage to their faces.

I'll take the bitches on the right, you take the left. (No!)
We assign roles and directions to each other, preparing for battle.

Kick their ass to the moon, like their ass retarded.
We plan to defeat our enemies so forcefully that they will be launched into space, as if their posterior is disabled.

Break through with fortress with style, too. You'll be askin' yourself-.
We confidently infiltrate the fortress with skill and finesse, leaving our enemies questioning our abilities.

"What'd I get myself into?"
Our enemies reflect on the situation they have found themselves in and express their uncertainty.

We're comin' to the rescue like heroes do.
We are approaching the rescue mission with bravery and determination, ready to save the day.

When we make it to the Queen I'll cunt punch her, too.
We express our intention to physically harm and defeat the Dark Queen upon reaching her.

Down to the right, up to the left.
We provide directional instructions to each other as we progress through the game.

Bring on them holes, bitch it ain't no contest.
We fearlessly face obstacles and holes in the game with confidence and ease.

I'm dodgin' and weavin', barely competin'.
We skillfully maneuver through challenges, narrowly avoiding danger.

Ride on the ramp, and crash through the ceilin'. (Woo!)
We excitingly ride on a ramp and crash through the ceiling, displaying our power and daringness.

There's a hole in the floor. (Watch it!)
We alert each other to the presence of a hole in the floor, emphasizing the need for caution.

Jump over it, it ain't there any more!
We demonstrate our agility by jumping over the previously mentioned hole that has disappeared.

I'm comin' through y'all, better know your role.
We assert ourselves and warn others to recognize their place as we continue our mission.

'Til the Dark Queen ain't the Dark Queen no more.
We are determined to defeat the Dark Queen and remove her from power.

'Til my broham ain't kidnapped no more.
We will not rest until our friend and teammate, Pimple, is rescued.

'Til we find the Princess and tag-team that whore!
Our mission is to find the Princess and team up to defeat the Dark Queen.

Yeah, bring on the rat, and whoop that motherfucker like BOOM.
We eagerly accept the challenge of facing a rat enemy and defeating it with a powerful impact.

We're on our way to the Dark Queen's Lair.
We are progressing towards our final destination, the Dark Queen's Lair.

We've got to be prepared because we're almost there.
We emphasize the need for readiness and preparation as we approach our final destination.

Gonna put her in a state of disrepair.
Our goal is to defeat the Dark Queen and render her powerless and defeated.

(Come on!) She's already impaired.
We assert that the Dark Queen is already in a weakened and compromised state.

And when we enter the battle, think twice, watch what you're doin'.
Our enemies are advised to reconsider their actions and be cautious once we join the battle.

One mistake that we make and Pimple and the Princess are doomed!
We acknowledge that even a single mistake on our part may lead to the capture or harm of Pimple and the Princess.

Don't come over to my side; I'm left, you are on the right.
We caution our teammate to stay on their designated side during the battle.

I hope she puts up a fight, 'cause BATTLETOADS ARE BRINGIN' THE BOOM.
We express our desire for the Dark Queen to provide a worthy challenge, as the Battletoads are ready to deliver a powerful and explosive impact.

I realize you're a woman but I really don't care.
We acknowledge the gender of the Dark Queen but state that it doesn't affect our actions or intentions towards her.

You're gonna have to tell the doctor you fell down the stairs!
We threaten to cause harm to the Dark Queen, suggesting that she will need a false explanation for her injuries.

You're gonna need them sunglasses for them black eyes, whore.
We imply that the Dark Queen will suffer black eyes and will require sunglasses to hide her injuries after we fight her.

I've been drinkin' since breakfast, I don't care any more!
We indicate that we have been consuming alcohol since the morning, causing us to no longer care about the consequences of our actions.

Spinnin' around in circles, kickin' me wearin' me down.
We describe the Dark Queen's attempts to attack us, which only serve to exhaust her.

If I were a Ninja Turtle I would be dead by now!
We compare ourselves to the resilient Ninja Turtles, implying that we are more capable of surviving and defeating our enemies.

But I got skills beyond recognition, a fist in your ass.
We confidently assert that our abilities are so impressive that they surpass recognition, and we threaten physical harm to the Dark Queen.

That's what you get for fuckin' around with Zitz and Rash!
The Dark Queen is warned that she will face the consequences of provoking and engaging with us, Zitz and Rash.

Hey Zitz, check it out I got a baseball bat.
We inform Zitz, our teammate, that we possess a baseball bat as a weapon.

It's my woman-beatin' Louisville whackamasmack.
We present the baseball bat as a weapon with which we can physically harm women, emphasizing its power and effectiveness.

This damn crack's got me hungry, let's go get us a snack.
We suggest that the drug crack has increased our appetite and propose taking a break to satisfy our hunger.

So we can eat after this gang-bang and take a nap. Yeah!
We humorously reference a gang-bang activity, implying that we have engaged in intense action, followed by a desire for rest and relaxation.

Sounds good Rash, but where the hell did you get a bat?
Zitz questions Rash about the source of the baseball bat, as it is not a weapon typically available in the game.

This game doesn't have bats, lay off of the crack!
Zitz remarks that bats are not supposed to be present in the game and advises Rash to stop using crack.

Shiiiiit...
We express disappointment or frustration, possibly due to the absence of bats in the game.

Why are we even rescuin' this worn-out whore?
We question the purpose of saving Princess Angelica, referring to her derogatorily as a worn-out whore.

I say we take Pimple out, that way both of us score.
We propose eliminating Pimple, our teammate, so that both of us can claim victory or success in the mission.

HIGH FIVE!
We celebrate our idea or decision with excitement.