Castlevania
The Adventures of Duane and BrandO Lyrics
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With a one, two, three, HAHAHA!
Annihilatin' zombies on my way to the gate.
It's Simon Belmont, the vampire slaughtera'.
Equipped with holy water and I got enough for all of ya.
I'm callin ya...out. Takin' ya... down.
Killin' you again puttin' you back in the ground.
I'm not fuckin' around I'll throw a knife in your face.
It's a disgrace; and you know that I'm comin', even though in the next game I'll be replaced.
Uhh, whoops! I don't know that yet.
But I'm the illest fuckin' cracker that you've ever met.
Get it? *whip crack*
That shit is funny.
Now I'm gonna wreck your castle and takes all your money.
I'm gonna take you down...
I'm gonna take and put your pale ass in the ground, 'cause I'm coming!
All this talk is getting on my nerves!
I'll make you eat your words, then I'll eat you for dessert.
You'll never defeat a godlike beast as I... I will make you cry.
You're brave, Mr. Belmont, but you're still a fool!
To think the Prince of Darkness less than cruel?
Never underestimate the pain in my heart.
I'll strike you down, and send you back to the start!
Goin' down to Castlevania.
Test me and I'll tear you apart.
Goin' down to Castlevania.
Gonna put this stake inside your-.
Simon Belmont, in the house.
Gonna tear you apart, from the inside out.
Fight off the monsters and make it to the room, where you're gonna meet, YOUR DOOM.
Gonna break it down, gonna stake ya now.
Gonna smash you apart like the Trade Towers.
Gonna go to town, show you who wears the crown.
You and me goin' round 'n round
Don't make me laugh!
Fuck all that bullshit I'm comin' to get you.
You're gonna wish that I'd never have met you!
So put your neck in my hand, motherfucker.
I'm takin' over this land, motherfucker.
It's goin' down bitch, get ready for war.
As I put my foot through your fuckin door!
Hahaha... yeah.
Oh... Poopface.
I'm gonna get you, bitch!
You're going to have to catch me.
I told you before not to fucking test me!
You have just made the biggest mistake of your life.
Is that right?
You will die tonight
Look it's been a long day and I'm wearin' down.
Get your ass over here and let's finish this now!
You think you can defeat me? Please.
You're weak in the knees, come and taste my disease.
Take this knife to the face!
Not my beautiful face!
Your days of destruction will soon be erased.
Let's face it, you're falling apart.
How 'bout this stake to the heart?
I'm going to bite you!
Owww! Fucker!
We're family now.
You're forgetting one thing, Count Chocula... I just put my stake in ya.
Yeah, HAHA...
The Adventures of Duane and BrandO's song Castlevania is an energetic tribute to one of the classic video games of the 80s, Castlevania, featuring the character of Simon Belmont, the vampire slayer. The song starts with the lyrics, "Armed with a whip and a fuckin' stake, I'm gonna find Count Dracula and seal his fate." The lyrics depict Simon Belmont's pursuit of Count Dracula and his minions, whom he annihilates with his whip and holy water. The song's overall theme is of Simon Belmont's determination and bravery, depicted in phrases such as "I'm not fuckin' around I'll throw a knife in your face" and "Gonna tear you apart, from the inside out."
The song's lyrics showcase Simon Belmont's relentless pursuit of his enemies, even when faced with the possibility of being replaced in the next game. Simon Belmont was the best of the best, the "illest fuckin' cracker" that anyone had ever met. The narrative of the song is one of violence and destruction, with Castlevania's monsters and villains serving as the targets of Simon's wrath.
In conclusion, Castlevania is a tribute to one of the classic 80s video games, featuring the character of Simon Belmont, the vampire slayer. The song's lyrics have a violent, destructive theme to showcase Simon's bravery and determination to defeat his enemies.
Line by Line Meaning
Armed with a whip and a fuckin' stake, I'm gonna find Count Dracula and seal his fate.
I have a whip and stake, and I will find Dracula and kill him.
With a one, two, three, HAHAHA!
I am laughing as I fight these zombies.
Annihilatin' zombies on my way to the gate.
I am destroying zombies on my way to Dracula's castle.
It's Simon Belmont, the vampire slaughtera'.
I am Simon Belmont, the vampire killer.
Equipped with holy water and I got enough for all of ya.
I have holy water to kill you with.
I'm callin ya...out. Takin' ya... down.
I challenge and will defeat you.
Killin' you again puttin' you back in the ground.
I am killing you again and putting you back in the ground.
I'm not fuckin' around I'll throw a knife in your face.
I am serious and will throw a knife at your face.
I'm gonna kick your ass all over the place!
I will defeat you brutally.
It's a disgrace; and you know that I'm comin', even though in the next game I'll be replaced.
Even if I'm replaced in the next game, I will defeat you.
Uhh, whoops! I don't know that yet.
Oops, I don't actually know that yet.
But I'm the illest fuckin' cracker that you've ever met.
I am the best at what I do.
Get it? *whip crack* That shit is funny.
Do you get it? (whip sound) It's amusing.
Now I'm gonna wreck your castle and takes all your money.
I will destroy your castle and take your treasure.
I'm gonna take you down...
I will defeat you.
I'm gonna take and put your pale ass in the ground, 'cause I'm coming!
I will kill you and bury you.
All this talk is getting on my nerves!
You are frustrating me with your words.
I'll make you eat your words, then I'll eat you for dessert.
I will defeat you and then consume you.
You'll never defeat a godlike beast as I... I will make you cry.
I am powerful and will make you cry.
You're brave, Mr. Belmont, but you're still a fool!
You are courageous, but foolish.
To think the Prince of Darkness less than cruel?
Do you believe Dracula is not cruel?
Never underestimate the pain in my heart.
Do not underestimate the pain I feel.
I'll strike you down, and send you back to the start!
I will defeat you and send you back to the beginning.
Goin' down to Castlevania. Test me and I'll tear you apart.
I am going to Castlevania, and if you challenge me, I will defeat you.
Gonna put this stake inside your-.
I will kill you with this stake.
Simon Belmont, in the house.
I am Simon Belmont.
Gonna tear you apart, from the inside out.
I will destroy you completely.
Fight off the monsters and make it to the room, where you're gonna meet, YOUR DOOM.
Fight monsters and reach the room where you will die.
Gonna break it down, gonna stake ya now.
I am going to destroy you with this stake.
Gonna smash you apart like the Trade Towers.
I will destroy you like the Twin Towers were destroyed.
Gonna go to town, show you who wears the crown.
I will defeat you and become the new ruler.
You and me goin' round 'n round.
We are fighting back and forth.
Don't make me laugh!
Do not be ridiculous.
Fuck all that bullshit I'm comin' to get you.
I am coming to defeat you, forget everything else.
You're gonna wish that I'd never have met you!
You will regret meeting me.
So put your neck in my hand, motherfucker.
Let me strangle you.
I'm takin' over this land, motherfucker.
I am taking control over this area.
It's goin' down bitch, get ready for war.
We are going to fight!
As I put my foot through your fuckin door!
I am entering your home by force.
Hahaha... yeah.
Haha, yes.
Oh... Poopface.
Oh, you are a poop-face.
I'm gonna get you, bitch!
I will defeat you.
You're going to have to catch me.
You have to catch me to defeat me.
I told you before not to fucking test me!
I warned you not to challenge me.
You have just made the biggest mistake of your life.
Your mistake will cost you dearly.
Is that right?
Do you think so?
You will die tonight.
You will die soon.
Look it's been a long day and I'm wearin' down.
I am tired after a long day.
Get your ass over here and let's finish this now!
Come defeat me now.
You think you can defeat me? Please.
You believe you can defeat me? That's amusing.
You're weak in the knees, come and taste my disease.
You are not strong enough, taste my power.
Take this knife to the face!
Let me stab you in the face!
Not my beautiful face!
Please don't harm my face!
Your days of destruction will soon be erased.
You will not destroy anymore.
Let's face it, you're falling apart.
You are deteriorating.
How 'bout this stake to the heart?
Would you like a stake to the heart?
I'm going to bite you!
I will bite you!
Owww! Fucker!
Ouch, that hurt!
We're family now.
We are now related.
You're forgetting one thing, Count Chocula... I just put my stake in ya.
You forgot that I killed you with my stake.
Yeah, HAHA...
Yes, haha.
Contributed by Tyler I. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@Skona99
Nah this is Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood...
HOL' UP
Jojo Part 1 Debut - 8-10-1987
Castlevania NES - 9-26-1986
All of the Jojo references were really Castlevania references all this time!
@Majo_Ellen
Man, so today I felt nostalgic and tried watching this and the old version of the song both at the SAME TIME. (:
There's just a lot of nice, little less-obvious touch ups in the lyrics that really make this version shine that I never appreciated or noticed.
Some of the lines in the older version just didn't make too much sense and felt like they were just there to fill the air; while here things are more framed in the context of Castlevania 3.
Original line: "I will kill you all. You will fall. I will kill you. (You are such a MF!)"
New line: "I will kill you all. You will fall... down this stair case! (How you like it MF?!)" not only does it have the grievance of the stairs that's been haunting Trevor (and all the players), but that whisper is also really funny.
Another thing I noticed is, just the "woo"ing feels more lonely in the original. Adding Grant as a wingman the whole time was a stellar idea.
Ya, see they aren't big things but they all add up. Masterpiece. 20/10.
...
...
And don't even get me started on the old Alucard, hot tomato he was way too edgy.
@ArcadeTheatre
This is the critically-acclaimed Castlevania Netflix Anime you hear people talk about.
@Skona99
Nah this is Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood...
HOL' UP
Jojo Part 1 Debut - 8-10-1987
Castlevania NES - 9-26-1986
All of the Jojo references were really Castlevania references all this time!
@noctisdiaz378
Even better
@makocrab2223
Nah, this is way better than that show. This one has all the main characters for one. Also, infinitely more rewatchable. :)
@CocjinMusic2022
Next Castlevania Nocturne
@RiftingSpire
@@Skona99mans went from outer space to singularity in a split second lol good on ya bruv😂
@AGuyNamedTrev
Playing this on loop while I play the Castlevania DLC in Vampire Survivors as Trevor Belmont.
@OtterlyStoned
The one little Easter egg about this video that I love, is that Brando actually completes Castlevania 3 in this video. Back in the day with the old one, the fight was ended at the first Dracula phase. Fun to see how times change.
@sebj3917
10+ years later, your "youmodafoka" is still the greatest thing I've ever heard.
@Skona99
~I will never quit~
~Infiniiite~
~CONTINUES~
Edit: Holy shit, he actually got him this time... hell yeah!