Thug Joint
The Ambassador Lyrics

I used to be a thug but now I'm a believer
I used to live a life of crime and violence, but now I have found faith and have changed my ways.

I used to be a thug I know how it feels
I have firsthand experience of the pain and struggles that come with being a thug.

I used to be a thug but now a believer
I have left behind my life as a thug and fully embraced my new faith.

No more thug and no more deals
I have completely abandoned my criminal activities and have no involvement in illegal deals.

Ok doc my occupation was thuggin'
Doctor, I used to make a living by engaging in criminal activities.

The whole nine, I mean the robbin' the dealin' the muggin'
I was involved in various illegal activities like theft, drug dealing, and mugging.

The Clubin' the premarital lovin'
I spent time partying and engaging in casual sexual relationships.

The type to put one in the oven but I wasn't tryin' to be the husband
I would have unprotected sex with women, but I never intended to commit to a relationship or start a family.

Sin was Lord and I always obeyed the Master
I was enslaved by sin and always followed its commands.

It told me 'sell drugs' just to get the paper faster
Sin influenced me to sell drugs as a means to make money quickly.

Let me go to church but would let me imitate the pastor
Sin allowed me to attend church, but it only encouraged me to imitate my favorite rappers instead of learning from the pastor's teachings.

It only let me imitate my favorite rapper
Sin only allowed me to follow the examples set by my favorite rapper in terms of lifestyle and behavior.

So the deal was I grew up doin' the ill stuff
Consequently, I grew up engaging in harmful and illegal activities.

Would fight the cops 'til they threw on the steal cuffs
I would resist arrest and fight against the police until they had to forcefully handcuff me.

Go in do my bid like the mack
I would willingly serve my jail time like a tough individual.

When it was done say, 'cool out kids---I'll be back.'
Once my prison sentence was completed, I would reassure others that I would return to my previous criminal lifestyle.

But lately there's been some friction
Recently, I have been experiencing inner conflict and tension.

I've been feeling sort of sick from this heart condition
I have been feeling unwell due to the state of my heart and moral conscience.

It's an unusual affliction, when I do wrong that's when it kicks in
This is an uncommon condition where I feel remorse and guilt specifically when I engage in wrongful behavior.

(From your description, you know it sounds like conviction)
Based on your description, it seems like you are experiencing a moral conviction for your actions.

I knew something was going wrong when I bumped in
I became aware that something was not right when I encountered a vulnerable person.

To a kid so soft I thought his name should be Pumpkin
I came across a young and defenseless individual who seemed so gentle that I jokingly thought they should be called 'Pumpkin.'

Recognizing he was a weaker type of creature
I realized that this young person was more vulnerable and defenseless.

I decided to take his beeper and his sneakers
I made the choice to steal this young person's beeper and sneakers.

You could tell for this kid a fight was a rare sport
It was apparent that this young person was not accustomed to fighting or being involved in conflicts.

Cause with ease I held him up like flights at an airport
I easily intimidated and held him up as if he were an airplane held on the ground at an airport.

He pleaded, 'Don't take my beeper, I need it
The young person begged me not to take his beeper because he relied on it for communication.

And, '...not my sneaks, let me keep my brand new Adidas
He also pleaded with me not to take his sneakers, specifically his new Adidas shoes.

That's when signs of the sickness manifested
It was at this moment that the symptoms of my moral sickness became evident.

My mind said, 'Be nice and do what the man suggested.'
My conscience urged me to show kindness and do what the young person asked.

I broke down like a fraction
I emotionally collapsed and experienced a breakdown, similar to how a fraction is divided.

Gave him back what I took away like subtraction
I returned to him the items I had taken, reversing the action just like subtraction undoes addition.

I'm puzzled and I'm struggling through this distraction
I feel confused and have difficulty focusing due to this internal struggle and interruption.

The reciprocal of my typical reaction, dag blast him!
Instead of my usual response, I felt compelled to curse and express frustration.

I made tracks and then a flash back happened
I quickly left the scene, but then a sudden memory resurfaced.

That's when the rugged me kicked back in
At that moment, my old tough and aggressive persona resurfaced.

Now last week I was in my dad's black jeep
Just last week, I was riding in my father's black jeep.

Rollin' mad deep with mad peeps smashed in the back seat
I was traveling with a large group of rowdy individuals, packed tightly in the back seat.

We took a back street, a Pontiac tried to pass me
We chose to drive through a less crowded street, but then a Pontiac attempted to overtake my vehicle.

I sped up and made him crash by the trash heap
In an act of aggression, I accelerated and caused the Pontiac to crash near a pile of garbage.

The accident was nasty if you ask me
The collision was severe and unpleasant, in my opinion.

I would have laughed but then it happened again
Initially, I would have found amusement in the accident, but then a similar incident occurred.

the sickness harassed me
The moral sickness I described earlier continued to trouble me.

Oh no, not again. I had hurt a lot of men
I felt dismayed at the repetition of such incidents, as I had caused harm to many people before.

But never felt bad before even when I shot a friend
Surprisingly, I had never felt remorseful even when I had shot a friend in the past.

For ease I thought I should step to the weed spot
To calm myself, I considered visiting a location where marijuana is sold.

Cause I was loosing my cool like melted freeze pops
I was becoming increasingly agitated and losing control over my emotions, similar to how frozen popsicles melt and lose their form.

My knees knocked as my conscience eaves dropped
I was filled with fear and anxiety as my moral conscience listened in on my thoughts and actions.

found a weak spot
My moral conscience identified a vulnerability within me.

And said, 'You sin too much, please stop!'
My conscience urged me to stop engaging in sinful activities, as I had been doing so excessively.

Peep the situation as it gets deeper
Take a closer look at the situation as it becomes increasingly complex and intense.

I started getting second thoughts about getting' the reefer
I began to have doubts and reconsider my decision to obtain marijuana.

But what scared me was the internal reasoning
What frightened me the most was the internal dialogue and arguments within my own mind.

It was, God sees you man, and your not pleasing Him
The reasoning was that God is watching me, and my actions are not bringing Him pleasure.

This was hard to swallow like food without seasonin'
This realization was difficult for me to accept, similar to having to eat unseasoned food.

Me believe in Him, I rather not breath again
Rather than believing in God, I would rather cease to exist.

Before receivin' Him
I would choose any alternative over accepting and receiving God into my life.

You would see a turtle beat a rabbit and a cheetah in the 100m's friend
The likelihood of witnessing a turtle winning a race against a rabbit and a cheetah in a 100-meter sprint is extremely low and improbable.

That's all that was the last straw I was ready to blast off
This realization was the final tipping point for me, and I was prepared to leave everything behind and embark on a destructive path.

To a place I didn't have enough cash for
I was determined to go to a destination where I did not have sufficient funds to support myself.

But with the swiftness, the sickness turned up the pitch
Suddenly, the moral sickness within me intensified.

And with the quickness I felt it clutch me like a stick shift
I experienced the moral sickness tightening its grip on me, similar to how one would feel the gears shifting while operating a stick shift car.

Yea you have no idea just how absurd it is
You truly cannot comprehend the extreme absurdity of this situation.

But check the word of this witness, now get this, I heard of this
However, listen to the testimony of this witness, I have heard of something remarkable.

Crew that could rip rhymes murderously, but I heard it would be
I came across a group of individuals who were incredibly skilled at rapping with great intensity and passion, but what surprised me was that they were also

Christian, I thought absurd as can be
They were Christians, which initially seemed ridiculous and implausible to me.

And churches to me can make the hard rocks feel nervous
Churches, in my opinion, have the power to intimidate even the toughest individuals.

But I went because I heard this would be an outdoor service
Despite my reservations, I decided to attend because I was intrigued by the fact that it would be held outdoors.

I got there and saw mad youth noddin' to mad truth
When I arrived, I witnessed many young people enthusiastically nodding in agreement to profound truths.

Rockin' mad hats and suits and not plaid suits
These young people were stylishly dressed, wearing fashionable hats and suits that were not made of plaid fabric.

As truth crashed through my heart ached like a bad tooth
The impact of the truth being presented caused my heart to ache intensely, similar to the pain of a severe toothache.

This hard rock got softer than brown spots on bad fruit
My tough exterior softened, resembling the discolored spots found on spoiled fruit.

I came with a heart stone like a statue then the rap group
Initially, my heart was hardened and unresponsive, but the rap group's performance began to chip away at that hardness.

Got under my skin like a tattoo
Their words and message deeply affected me, leaving a lasting impression on my heart, similar to a tattoo on the skin.

The rapped about a man diein' and I was cryin'
The rap group performed a song about a man's death, and it brought me to tears.

They said He died so I could be saved like Private Ryan
Their lyrics explained that this man had died in order to provide salvation, drawing a parallel to the film 'Saving Private Ryan.'

We all could see zoomorphically He's a lion
Metaphorically, we understood that this man, represented as a lion, possessed great power and authority.

Coming to rule from Zion with a scepter of iron
This man, symbolized as a ruler, would establish his dominion from Zion, wielding a strong and unbreakable scepter.

Trying to hold back tears that wanted to flow jack
I struggled to fight back tears that were eager to pour out like a water faucet.

Couldn't control that, it felt like my soul cracked
I was unable to restrain my emotions, and it felt as though my very soul was breaking apart.

In half and Jesus started lookin' much bigger than drugs pullin' a trigger
In that moment of vulnerability, Jesus appeared far more significant and powerful than any influence of drugs or engaging in violence.

And it was a first that I ever felt so cursed next to One so perfect
It was the first time I realized how flawed and imperfect I was in comparison to the perfection of Jesus.

My soul thirsted to worship
My soul longed and yearned to worship Jesus.

Scufflin', tustlin', my feathers, He ruffled them
In my inner struggle and resistance, Jesus began to challenge my comfort and disrupt my established patterns.

I tried to duck Him and tried to get back to my hustlin'
I attempted to avoid and evade Jesus, desiring to return to my previous hustling lifestyle.

I must have been affected more than I could have imagined
Clearly, I was profoundly impacted by this encounter in a way that exceeded my expectations.

Cause that's been all I can think about since it happened
Since that moment, it has consumed my thoughts, and I haven't been able to think about anything else.