Angels of Light include many New York City collaborators, including Dana Schechter of Bee and Flower, Kid Congo Powers of The Cramps, Larry Mullins aka Toby Dammit, Bliss Blood of The Moonlighters and Pain Teens, Thor Harris of Shearwater, and most recently the Brooklyn band Akron/Family.
Gira talks about the Angels project :
I write the songs on acoustic guitar, then gather musicians and friends, and build up the orchestrations with them in the studio and in live performances. I guide the process, but solicit their creative contributions actively. Each recording contains the contributions of an ever-changing plethora of amazing musicians, whom I thank here heartily!
After many years (too many to comfortably contemplate!) of dwelling on "sonic overload" with Swans, I now concentrate on augmenting the songs I write with orchestrations that support the basic song, rather than the sound itself taking over.
My goal is to achieve the same sense of magic I experienced as a child listening to Burle Ives recordings of Brer Rabbit and other such marvels, including the early Disney children's records I listened to long ago.
I view the arrangements as little films created to make a context for the words and voice, so that one can drift off into the world the music creates. I produce the Angels recordings, and the production of the recordings is as important to me as the songs themselves.
Most of the instruments used in the recordings are acoustic, but not all. Electric guitars, bass and drums etc., are sometimes used (as well as an occasional electronic sound, or loop), but I intentionally steer clear of a "Rock" sound. It doesn't interest me at all any more.
However, I have no particular fealty to "The Song" as if it were some sacred codex. On the other hand, just sitting around my house, writing these things, and finally coming up with a statement that I think makes sense, I want to bring them to life as much as possible, in new and challenging ways for both myself and you, so I always strive to present them in a fresh and interesting context.
For this reason, I'm always changing the sonic approach from record to record.
All Angels of Light albums have been released on Michael Gira's label Young God Records.
The name Angels of Light was first used by the spiritual theater group founded by drag queen Hibiscus of The Cockettes. It is not known whether Gira's group was named in homage to Hibiscus's similarly metaphysically-minded group.
My Suicide
The Angels of Light Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
tear my tongue out if I speak,if I speak
raise up your camera razor lights
feed the evil and the weak,feed the weak
hear me now,
my tongue is in your ear
the center of your body is the place I hide the fear of loss
Suck the hatred from my mouth
raise the dead man
that you found,that you found
Silver black mud in my lungs
leave me down here wasted with the useless and the stone
leave me now as I choke and writhe
but feel my body stuck upon the dull and silent knife
of my suicide
remove my face from in the mirror
sift my hair into the fire
mock me for the suffering I fake
leave me naked on the carpet
leave my drunken body splayed
see me now
my broken fingers search your mouth
for the drugged and senseless words that are seducing me back home
in to my suicide
I hate you all for what I've done
I hate you for the texture and the color of your skin
I hate your whispered breath upon my neck
I hate you for your love
and I hate you for your sex
feel me now
I'm growing in your insides
the warm feelings that you bring
contain the seeds now flowering
into my suicide
The Angels of Light's song "My Suicide" is a raw and powerful expression of despair and agony. The lyrics depict a person who is deeply troubled and has lost all hope, to the point of contemplating suicide. The first stanza talks about cutting the eyes out of their head and tearing their tongue out if they speak. It reflects a sense of desperation and the urge to silence oneself from the pain. The line "feed the evil and the weak, feed the weak" suggests that the singer has given up on the good in humanity and feels only the weak and evil are left.
The chorus, "hear me now, my tongue is in your ear, the center of your body is the place I hide the fear of loss, of suicide," is a stark reminder of the intimate nature of suicide. It highlights the need for people to communicate and understand when someone close to them is struggling with the fear of dying. The second stanza portrays the singer's disgust towards themselves and how they feel they are nothing more than mud in their lungs. They are resigned to their fate and feel alone in their struggle.
The bridge “see me now, my broken fingers search your mouth for the drugged and senseless words that are seducing me back home, into my suicide" reveals how the singer seeks solace in the words of others, even if they are meaningless. They are struggling with addiction or substance abuse, and the only cure they can think of is ending their life.
Overall, the song is an honest and deeply moving expression of the struggles of a person who is considering ending their own life. It highlights the need for empathy and support from those around them.
Line by Line Meaning
Cut the eyes out of my head
Blind me to the pain and suffering of my life
tear my tongue out if I speak,if I speak
Silence my voice and my expression of my struggles
raise up your camera razor lights
Illuminate and exploit my darkest moments
feed the evil and the weak,feed the weak
Exploit and prey upon those who are vulnerable and struggling
hear me now,
my tongue is in your ear
I am trying to make you understand my pain and desperation
the center of your body is the place I hide the fear of loss
of suicide
I find comfort in your physical presence, yet am scared of losing it and giving in to suicidal thoughts
Suck the hatred from my mouth
Remove the overwhelming negativity that consumes my every thought
raise the dead man
that you found,that you found
Dig up the past and the pain that I thought was buried
Silver black mud in my lungs
I feel suffocated and weighed down by my despair
leave me down here wasted with the useless and the stone
leave me now as I choke and writhe
but feel my body stuck upon the dull and silent knife
of my suicide
Allow me to suffer and wallow in my pain as I contemplate and plan my suicide.
remove my face from in the mirror
sift my hair into the fire
Erase and destroy any semblance of myself and my existence
mock me for the suffering I fake
leave me naked on the carpet
leave my drunken body splayed
Belittle and shame my very real struggles and despair
see me now
my broken fingers search your mouth
for the drugged and senseless words that are seducing me back home
in to my suicide
I am searching for comfort and hope in your words and actions, yet feel drawn back to the idea of taking my own life
I hate you all for what I've done
I hate you for the texture and the color of your skin
I hate your whispered breath upon my neck
I hate you for your love
and I hate you for your sex
I hate the world and everything in it, including those closest to me, for their role in my pain and suffering
feel me now
I'm growing in your insides
the warm feelings that you bring
contain the seeds now flowering
into my suicide
My despair and suicidal thoughts are becoming a part of you and our relationship, and the love and warmth you give me only further push me towards these dark thoughts
Contributed by Luke E. Suggest a correction in the comments below.