The Beautiful South were a British pop group formed in 1989, from the ashes… Read Full Bio ↴The Beautiful South were a British pop group formed in 1989, from the ashes of Hull, England group The Housemartins. The band was put together by lead singer, Paul Heaton, and drummer, Dave Hemingway. They were joined by Sean Welch (Bass), Dave Stead (Drums) and Dave Rotheray (Guitar). Rotheray also co-writes the songs with Heaton.

In The Beautiful South, Heaton shared the lead singer's role with Hemingway and female singer Briana Corrigan to create a trio of lead vocalists. This set-up helped to characterise the bittersweet kitchen sink dramas played out in Heaton's often-barbed songs.

The band's music might sound like bubbly, catchy, lightweight pop but Heaton's sour, savage and amusing worldview on everything and anything (alcoholism, religion, sex, politics and, mostly, the down side of relationships) is always lurking beneath the surface of the quirky melodies. The tastes and smells of the local pub are never far away either, with the band gaining a reputation for boozing. The band's first album was Welcome to the Beautiful South (1989) and spawned the hits Song For Whoever and You Keep It All In. The release of 1990's Choke album saw the band claim its only Number 1 hit to date, A Little Time. 0898 followed in 1992, with hits including Old Red Eyes Is Back.

In 1994, after Corrigan quit the band when she saw Paul's lyrics for the forthcoming album Miaow, St Helens supermarket shelf-stacker, Jacqui Abbott, was brought on board to fill in. Heaton had heard her sing at an after show party in St Helens and remembered her vocal talents.

Jacqui's first album with the band was Miaow in 1994. Hits included Good as Gold (Stupid as Mud) and a cover of Fred Neil's Everybody's Talking, previously popularised by Harry Nilsson. The end of that year saw the release of Carry on up the Charts, a "best of" compilation consisting of the singles to date plus new track One Last Love Song. The album was massively successful and it is said that 1 in 7 homes in the UK owns a copy.

Blue Is the Colour (1996), Quench (1998) and Painting It Red (2000) followed with varying success. Jacqui also quit the band in 2000. After a second Greatest Hits album Solid Bronze in 2001, they recorded Gaze in 2003 with yet another female vocalist, Alison 'Lady' Wheeler. Wheeler was still in place for 2004's Golddiggas, Headnodders and Pholk Songs, an album of unusually arranged cover versions including Livin' Thing, You're The One That I Want, Don't Fear The Reaper and I'm Stone In Love With You. In 2006 the band released their tenth studio album, Superbi.

The band broke up in January 2007, releasing the statement: "The Beautiful South have split up due to musical similarities. The band would like to thank everyone for their 19 wonderful years in music."

Former members of the group have since played Beautiful South songs together as 'New Beautiful South' and more recently 'The South'.

In 2007, Mercury Records released Soup: The Best of The Housemartins and The Beautiful South, a compilation album containing 7 hit singles by The Housemartins ("The Housemartins Condensed") and 15 tracks The Beautiful South ("Cream of The Beautiful South").

Just A Few Things That I Ain't
The Beautiful South Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

When you called me a useless druggie
At least you got half of it right
When you called me a hopeless alcoholic
I'm only hopeless after nine at night
And when I said you came staggering home blind drunk
If I didn't you'd get terrible fright
And if this is the land of hope and glory
Where's the land of hope but not quite

I've been scruff bag, dirt bag, always someones binbag
But never been bono or sting
However I dressed never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing
I've been bad man sad man certified mad
But never 007 or saint
Trendsetter go getter international jet setter
Are just a few things that I ain't

The time you told class I was a half wit
Was my very first 50 %
Previous best in any other test
Was either stolen copied or lent
And when you branded me and every single one of my mates
A waste of time and effort to teach
Why d'you give us sums if our only hope was bums
On someone else's deckchair and beach

I've been smart arse, mardy arse, on and off a lard arse
But never been a legend to god
New thing dumb thing even last year's thing
Headbang? - not even a nod!
I've been left-wing, secure-wing, lost stripes, gained winged
We've never caused a lady to faint
Wideboy, ladyboy, read it in the paper boy
A few things they said that I ain't

When popularity soared, hometown and abroad
I spent most of it trying to breathe in
Always ill at ease, too willing to please
An inferior life's bargain bin
When you come from a background of bargain bins
You're bound to fear it ends where it begins
So when nation adored we felt more of a fraud
And too phoney to celebrate wins

I've been scruffbag, dirtbag, always someones binbag
But never been Bono or Sting
However I dressed never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing
I've been badman, sadman, certified mad
But never 007 or Saint

Trend-setter, go-getter, international jet-setter
Are just a few things that I ain't

Overall Meaning

The song "Just a Few Things That I Ain't" by The Beautiful South is a tongue-in-cheek portrayal of the various labels and stereotypes that the singer has been given throughout their life. The lyrics focus on the singer's self-deprecating humor and the various ways in which they have been pigeonholed by society. The song touches upon themes of fitting in, social pressures, and the desire to be seen as someone who is successful and impressive.

In the first stanza, the singer responds to being called a "useless druggie" and a "hopeless alcoholic" with a sense of resignation and acceptance. They acknowledge that their lifestyle choices have contributed to these labels, but also push back against them by suggesting they are only hopeless after a certain hour. The lyrics then move onto the idea of hope and glory, questioning where one can find hope without the pressure to be considered "great" or "perfect."

The second stanza expands on the different labels the singer has been given, from "scruff bag" to "certified mad." While they have never been someone as impressive as Bono or Sting, the singer recognizes that these labels have shaped their identity and perception of self. The lyrics suggest that the singer may have lacked the ambition or drive to become anything more than what they are, but also finds humor in the fact that they have been all of these different things at one point or another.

Finally, the third stanza delves into the singer's difficult upbringing, marked by a sense of inferiority and a lack of resources. Even when they experienced success, they couldn't fully enjoy it because of the fear that it would inevitably end. This concluding stanza highlights the cyclical nature of life's difficulties and suggests that the singer's struggles are not unique, but rather, are part of a larger pattern.

Overall, "Just a Few Things That I Ain't" is a sarcastic take on societal expectations and the various labels that people are given throughout their lives. Through the singer's humor and self-awareness, the song invites listeners to challenge the idea that we must strive for greatness or live up to unrealistic expectations.

Line by Line Meaning

When you called me a useless druggie
I have been called names but addiction is not one of my problems

At least you got half of it right
The person who called me a druggie got one part of the insult correct

When you called me a hopeless alcoholic
Someone insulted me by calling me an alcoholic

I'm only hopeless after nine at night
I only struggle with alcohol after a certain time of day

And when I said you came staggering home blind drunk
I pointed out that the person had too much to drink and was struggling to walk straight

If I didn't you'd get terrible fright
If I didn't mention the person's drunken state, they would have been in danger

And if this is the land of hope and glory
If this is a place of success and happiness

Where's the land of hope but not quite
Where is the place where everything is good, but not perfect?

I've been scruff bag, dirt bag, always someones binbag
I have been called names and treated like trash

But never been bono or sting
I have never been a famous music celebrity like Bono or Sting

However I dressed never really impressed
I never dressed in a way that made a significant impact on people

So they never got to hear a damn thing
People never listened to me because I lacked charisma

I've been bad man sad man certified mad
I have been called names like crazy and bad

But never 007 or saint
I have never been a famous character like James Bond or a saint

Trendsetter go getter international jet setter
I have never been a person who sets trends or travels across the world in luxury

Are just a few things that I ain't
These are only few things that I have never been

The time you told class I was a half-wit
Someone said that I was stupid in front of my class

Was my very first 50 %
That was the first time I was insulted in public

Previous best in any other test
I was never successful in other tests

Was either stolen copied or lent
My previous good performance was either the result of cheating or copying

And when you branded me and every single one of my mates
When you called me and my friends worthless

A waste of time and effort to teach
You said we are not worth your time and effort to teach us

Why d'you give us sums if our only hope was bums
Why do you teach us if you think we will never succeed in life?

On someone else's deckchair and beach
You think we will end up being unsuccessful and living off others

I've been smart arse, mardy arse, on and off a lard arse
I have been called names like smart-alec or lazy

But never been a legend to God
I have never been a significant figure in religion

New thing, dumb thing, even last year's thing
I have never been the latest trend or an expert in anything

Headbang? - not even a nod!
I am not even interested in headbanging or the like

I've been left-wing, secure-wing, lost stripes, gained winged
I have been called names related to political beliefs and social status

We've never caused a lady to faint
I have never been someone who has a significant effect on women

Wideboy, ladyboy, read it in the paper boy
I have been called names that are usually found in newspapers

A few things they said that I ain't
These are only few things that others have called me and that I am not

When popularity soared, hometown and abroad
When I became popular in my hometown and outside of it

I spent most of it trying to breathe in
I had a hard time getting used to the sudden fame and tried to cope with it

Always ill at ease, too willing to please
I was never completely comfortable with my popularity and always tried too hard to please others

An inferior life's bargain bin
I thought I deserved the negative treatment I received because of my background

When you come from a background of bargain bins
When your background is poor and people treat you accordingly

You're bound to fear it ends where it begins
You might worry that you will always be trapped in that negative mindset and lifestyle

So when nation adored we felt more of a fraud
When the whole nation admired us, we felt like we were being deceitful by pretending to be something we are not

And too phoney to celebrate wins
We were not happy celebrating our victories because we felt like we didn't deserve them

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: DAVE ROTHERAY, PAUL HEATON

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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