After signing to Arista in 1988, they saw their largest international success with the album Starfish and the American Top 40 hit "Under The Milky Way" which resurfaced on the soundtrack of the cult movie "Donnie Darko". Whilst the band remain feted by their peers, subsequent commercial success proved elusive: 1990s follow-up album "Gold Afternoon Fix" failed to capitalise on their success, and the band weathered several line-up changes after its release, first losing long-term drummer Richard Ploog, then Peter Koppes following 1992s "Priest = Aura". That album baffled and confused many fans upon its release as to what band The Church was considered to be, but is now considered a seminal album and one of the most revered by Church connoisseurs. The vacant drum-stool on Priest=Aura being occupied by Jay Dee Daugherty of Arista labelmate Patti Smiths group, and it was produced by Gavin MacKillop of Moose.
Reduced to a two-piece, Kilbey & Willson-Piper re-grouped with the assistance of drummer/producer Tim Powles to record 1994's "Sometime Anywhere", concluding their obligations to the Arista and Mushroom labels. The commercial decline, combined with the Church being ignored again by a music press more focused on the Nineties' music trends, could have brought about the demise of the band, had it not coincided with the breakthrough of the internet, thus enabling direct communication from the band to its passionate cult fanbase.
This brought about a new beginning for The Church, with Peter Koppes rejoining the band for recording 1996s "Magician Among The Spirits". The band (with Koppes back into the fold, and Powles now as the permanent drummer ), hit a re-newed creative surge and with regained selfconfidence, released "Hologram Of Baal" 2 years later, and toured Australia, the USA and Europe.
The first decade of the 21st century found the band releasing severeal highly critically acclaimed albums, like 2002's aptly named "After Everything Now this" and 2003's "Forget Yourself", the latter breaking new ground with bandmembers swapping instruments in the recording process. Live performances stray from high profile events like the 03 concerts at Sydney Opera House and the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games in Melbourne, to low-profile gigs for smaller audiences, often confusing old 80s fans, surprised to find the band still playing, wrongly assuming the band just being one in the never-ending string of reunion acts.
2009's album "Untitled#23" marked yet another highlight.. its essence represented in just 10 songs, and with a strong less-is-more approach, the albums core identity being on par with Starfish, it also finds Steve Kilbey breaking new ground as a vocalist.
2010 saw their 30th anniversary, with extensive touring in the US and Australia. Their unique position and importance in the australian music scene was recognized with an ARIA award.
Their album, "Further Deeper", was released in 2014, and "man woman life death infinity" in 2017.
Disappear?
The Church Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
But the words came from her mouth so slowly,
I saw her face change,
She wanted none of that sympathy,
You can say what you will,
But I know she has suffered enough,
And I don't know victims,
Only survivors surviving your touch
I thought I knew all the answers,
But the words they disappeared,
I can't imagine, I can't even try,
The vision in my mind was never clear
The fear of touch,
It can lock you away for ever and ever,
Could it mean so much?
Every second we spent together,
I'd like to apologize,
For all the times your hurt was more
Than I could bear,
I try to empathise,
If I don't understand at least I care
I thought I knew all the answers,
But the words they disappeared,
I can't imagine, I can't even try,
The vision in my mind was never clear
I thought I knew all the answers,
But the words they disappeared,
I can't imagine, I can't even try,
The vision in my mind was never clear
"Disappear" by The Church is a song that explores the feelings of loss, confusion, and isolation after a relationship ends. The lyrics use metaphorical language to convey the sense of being adrift and uncertain, with lines like "Like a womb, night was all around" and "Skipping 'cross the water, wading through the sand." The dream-like quality of the imagery lends an air of unreality to the experience being described, and the singer seems to be wrestling with a sense of inevitability ("It's like the fog you walk towards, but never seem to reach") even while he tries to maintain a sense of agency ("What do you expect me to do, disappear?").
The chorus of the song provides a haunting refrain, with the repeated phrase "What do you expect me to do, disappear?" suggesting both a defiance and a resignation. The final stanza, where the singer discovers a note from his departed lover, adds a sense of finality to the story, as he acknowledges the loss but also seems to be moving on ("It seems you were never here / What do you expect me to do, disappear?").
Overall, "Disappear" captures the emotional turmoil of a breakup, creating a mood that is simultaneously dreamy and disorienting. The lyrics convey a sense of searching for meaning and direction in the aftermath of loss, while the music (with its whispered vocals, lush synthesizers, and moody guitar work) creates a sense of hazy atmosphere that perfectly compliments the melancholic mood of the lyrics.
Line by Line Meaning
Like a womb, night was all around
The night was enveloping like a womb, surrounding everything in darkness.
Someone, somewhere must have talked some sense
It seemed like someone out there had finally spoken some sense into the situation.
I could feel it moving underground
There was an undercurrent of change that I could sense, even though it wasn't visible on the surface.
So many things I still don't understand
Despite everything that's happened, there are still so many questions unanswered and things left unexplained.
The dream I was having took on an ugly face
A pleasant dream suddenly turned sinister and became a nightmare.
I don't know if I was walking through heaven
Even in moments of bliss, uncertainty pervaded everything and it was impossible to know where I truly stood.
It could have been any place
Sometimes it felt like life was just a series of interchangeable moments, all blending together without any real distinction.
Skipping 'cross the water, wading through the sand
Life felt like a continuous series of ups and downs, sometimes easy and sometimes a struggle.
Awake to find you gone, emptiness is where you lay
Waking up to an empty space where someone used to be can make the heart feel hollow and heavy.
I just had to smile for all the things you'll never hear me say
There are some things that can never be said out loud, but can still bring a smile to your face when you reminisce about them silently.
Oh, I know, I could never get that near
Remaining at a distance from something can sometimes feel safer and more secure than actually getting too close to it.
What do you expect me to do, disappear?
Simply walking away from a situation can feel easier than trying to confront it head-on, but ultimately it won't solve anything.
You and me, we're as free as we can be
Even though nothing is ever truly free or unburdened, it still feels good to enjoy the moments where it seems like life has few strings attached.
Can't you see, like the trees so obviously...
Just like trees that sway and rustle in the wind, our lives are constantly changing and mutable, even when it's not readily apparent.
The message disturbs me so I throw it to the wind
Sometimes it's easier to simply ignore or forget something that disturbs you, rather than trying to grapple with it.
And after all the hellos goodbyes etc etc
Life is just a series of saying hello and goodbye to people, places, and things, over and over again.
We can't start this thing again
Sometimes, once something is over, it's truly over, and there's no going back or trying to restart it.
It's like the fog you walk towards, but never seem to reach
Some obstacles in life are persistent and ever-present, like a fog that lingers no matter how hard you try to move through it.
Every morning now I hear that same old song
Certain things in life are unchanging and always persist, like a haunting song that echoes through every moment.
And though the singer is long dead, his voice goes on and on
Even when something or someone has been gone for a long time, the echoes of their presence can still be felt or heard years down the line.
Ugliness you have to learn, but beauty you can't teach
It's easy to learn how to recognize and dwell on negative or ugly things, but much more difficult to cultivate a sense of beauty or positivity.
Awake to find you gone, a note pinned to my sleeve
Waking up to a note from someone explaining they're gone can feel incredibly jarring and surreal.
It wasn't just the things you took
Betrayal isn't just about the tangible things someone takes from you, but also the trust and security they stole as well.
It was the things you had to leave
Leaving something or someone behind can be just as painful and traumatic as having something taken from you, even if it's through no one's malicious intent.
Now it seems you were never here
The shock and pain of being left behind can sometimes make it feel like the person who left never really existed in the first place.
What do you expect me to do, disappear?
Faced with the pain and uncertainty of loss, it can sometimes feel easier to just disappear altogether rather than try and navigate it all.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: Steven Kilbey
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
BittersweetSymphony
on You're Still Beautiful
Sometimes I wonder if he is writing about himself