Losing Haringey
The Clientele Lyrics

In those days, there was a kind of fever that pushed me out of the front door, into the pale, exhaust-fumed park by Broadwater Farm or the grubby road that eventually leads to Enfield: turkish supermarket after chicken restaurant after spare car part shop.
The singer is describing the restlessness and fever they felt that compelled them to leave their home and wander through the dirty streets of Haringey.

Everything in my life felt like it was coming to a mysterious close: I could hardly walk to the end of a street without feeling there was no way to go except back.
The singer is expressing how their life feels like it is stagnating and coming to an end, leaving them feeling stuck in their current situation.

It seemed unlikely that anything could hold much longer. The only question left to ask was what would happen after everything familiar collapsed, but for now the summer stretched between me and that moment.
The singer feels like their current situation is unsustainable and that a major change is imminent, but for now they are just waiting for it to happen.

It was ferociously hot, and the air quality became so bad that by the evening the noise of nearby trains stuttered in in fits and starts, distorted through the shifting air.
The artist is describing the oppressive heat and poor air quality of Haringey during the summer, which made them feel trapped and uncomfortable.

As I lay in the cool of my room, I could hear my neighbours discussing the world cup and opening beers in their gardens. On the other side, someone was singing an Arabic prayer through the thin wall. I had no money for the pub so I decided to go for a walk.
The artist is describing how they couldn't escape the noise of their neighbors and were unable to relax in their own space, so they decided to go for a walk.

I found myself wandering aimlessly to the west, past the terrace of chip and kebab shops and laundrettes near the tube station. I crossed the street, and headed into virgin territory - I had never been this way before. Gravel-dashed houses alternated with square 60s offices, and the wide pavements undulated with cracks and litter.
The singer is describing their aimless wandering through the unfamiliar streets of Haringey, which were defined by their grime and decay.

I walked and walked, because there was nothing else for me to do, and by degrees the light began to fade.
The singer is describing how they continued to walk aimlessly because it was the only thing that gave them a sense of direction, and how the light began to fade as the day turned into night.

The mouth of an avenue led me to the verge of a long, greasy A-road that rose up in the far distance, with symmetrical terraces falling steeply down then up again from a distant railway station. There were four benches to my right, interspersed with those strange bushes that grow in the area, whose blossoms are so pale yellow they seem translucent, almost spectral; and suddenly tired, I sat down.
The artist is describing their arrival at a street corner where they saw a long, greasy A-road in the distance and a row of benches surrounded by strange pale yellow bushes, where they took a moment to rest.

I held my head in my hands, feeling like shit, but a sudden breeze escaped from the terraces and for a moment I lost my thoughts in its unexpected coolness. I looked up and I realised I was sitting in a photograph.
The artist is describing how they felt overwhelmed and upset, but how a sudden breeze made them feel momentarily better, and how they began to feel like they were sitting inside of a photograph.

I remembered clearly: this photograph was taken by my mother in 1982, outside our front garden in Hampshire. It was slightly underexposed. I was still sitting on the bench, but the colours and the planes of the road and horizon had become the photo.
The artist is describing how they vividly remembered a photograph their mother took in 1982, and how sitting on the bench made them feel like they were inside that photograph.

If I looked hard, I could see the lines of the window ledge in the original photograph were now composed by a tree branch and the silhouetted edge of a grass verge. The sheen of the flash on the window was replicated by bonfire smoke drifting infinitesimally slowly from behind a fence. My sister’s face had been dimly visible behind the window, and -yes- there were pale stars far off to the west that traced out the lines of a toddler’s eyes and mouth.
The singer is describing how they saw different elements of the original photograph in the scene around them, such as tree branches that reminded them of window ledges, bonfire smoke that replicated the flash of a camera, and stars that traced out the lines of a toddler's eyes and mouth.

When I look back at this there’s nothing to grasp, no starting point. I was inside an underexposed photo from 1982 but I was also sitting on a bench in Haringey.
The artist reflects on how surreal the experience felt, that they were both inside a photograph from their past and sitting on a bench in Haringey at the same time.

Strongest of all was the feeling of 1982-ness: dizzy, illogical, as if none of the intervening disasters and wrong turns had happened yet. I felt guilty, and inconsolably sad. I felt the instinctive tug back - to school, the memory of shopping malls, cooking, driving in my mother’s car. All gone, gone forever.
The singer is describing how they felt a strong connection to their past during this moment, and how they felt guilty and sad about the time that had passed, wishing they could go back to a simpler time.

I just sat there for a while. I was so tired that I didn’t bother trying to work out what was going on. I was happy just to sit in the photo while it lasted, which wasn’t for long anyway: the light faded, the wind caught the smoke, the stars dimmed under the glare of the streetlamps. I got up and walked away from the squat little benches and an oncoming gang of kids.
The singer spends some time contemplating before they realize the moment is fleeting and ephemeral, and they get up to leave before the photo disappears.

A bus was rumbling to my rescue down the hill, with a great big ‘via Alexandra Palace’ on its front, and I realised I did want a drink after all.
The singer sees a bus and is reminded that they need a drink, indicating that the moment has passed and they are returning to reality.