With the release of the seminal Telemetry of a Fallen Angel (existing in a few incarnations prior to Dancing Ferret Discs' version in 1997), The Crüxshadows enjoyed their first defining moment courtesy of the infinitely catchy dance floor anthem "Marilyn My Bitterness." With additional strong releases including The Mystery of the Whisper (1999), Until the Voices Fade (1999) and Paradox Addendum (2000) backed by lengthy tours, The Crüxshadows were able to build a legion of diversified fans consisting of everything from jarheads to gamers to anime & role playing enthusiasts.
While the lineup has indeed changed over the years, one constant has remained the same; Rogue, the vocalist, leader and mastermind of The Crüxshadows has directed his troupe towards an unconventional and lofty goal. "I want to change the world with music, I want people to find hope within themselves. I want them to know that anything is possible if you believe and follow through. I think that music has the power to inspire and move people to do amazing things" he muses. He is not alone in his belief. Their fans seem to believe it too. The bands motto "live love be believe" is everywhere, and many of their supporters will tell you that the lyrics have changed their lives in some way. This isn't exactly typical for a band most often identified as gothic or dark-wave. The Crüxshadows are not concerned. "Goth isn't about being a stereotype" the front-man complains, "its about being who you want to be... about not running from yourself or your emotions." The charismatic singer/songwriter/producer understands an audience and tends to deliver his dramatic croon right in their laps. Nothing they do is exactly new, but how they do it is completely unique. The lyrics are deep and meaningful, the stage show is dynamic and entertaining, and the music is hooky and inspired by pop. But pop it is not. It is a hybrid music that exists in a place just left of everyday, and just right of never-ever.
The band has maintained a surprising consistency despite the personnel turnovers that have plagued it in recent years. Jessica Lackey, a singer/dancer who married Rogue in 2007, and keyboardist Jen Jawidzik, who was once Rogue and Jessica's roommate, have stuck with it for the better part of the last decade. "When we have to find someone new, I feel like sometimes they don't understand all the hard work that was necessary for us to get to that point" Jessica states flatly, "It is not difficult to under-appreciate everything the band has accomplished, so people move on because they have not invested the same energy into the project." While the shows and the music continues to get better, that magically 'permanent' combination of personalities has continued to elude them. The band has had a difficult time keeping guitar players and dancers in particular, but has seen turnover in almost every position. These days Crüxshadows has Rogue backed by a mostly female band of new wave latex clad gypsies, and boasts an original mix of violins, dancers, guitars, and electronics. Tight and well-practiced, the seven performers interact on stage with clockwork like precision. The audience is captivated. Some of them scream. Some of them sing along. A few others stare at the stage dumbfounded.
Although The Crüxshadows maintain a strong fan base in their native United States, their most perceptible success seems to be focused in Europe. It is not uncommon for the band to share stages with the likes of Ladytron, Prodigy, The Cure, or even Bjork. The 2002 Tears EP topped the Deutsche Alternative Charts for months, a practice that has continued with all subsequent releases soaring to the DAC's Top 10. "I don't think we're actually more popular there (In Europe)" says Rogue, "It just seems like there is more access to our fans. What we do has more acceptance by the powers that be. In America it feels like all of our victories are covered up or are unacknowledged by the media." 2002 also saw the release of their fifth full-length album Wishfire; a fan favorite that featured the Euro hit "Tears" and a number of other dark dance mainstays. Similarly the follow-up album Ethernaut (released in 2003) brought the band what has become one of its most notable tracks, the European club anthem entitled "Winterborn (This Sacrifice)."
Remixes and special versions of songs have kept there fans satiated when no new traditional album lay on the horizon. In 2004 Fortress In Flames was released featuring a cover by the popular American artist Chad Michael Ward. There The Crüxshadows' material was remixed by peers like the Dutch legends Clan of Xymox and German industrial giants In Strict Confidence. Each year has seen some new disc from the band, and they come in a variety of formats. The year 2005 witnessed the release of their first DVD Shadowbox. The DVD is highlighted by a 2004 performance before a rabid crowd of 15,000 at the Wave-Gotik-Treffen in Leipzig Germany, where the ‘call and response' raw energy the band delves out is served right back by an adoring audience.
In 2006 the band would seem to breakaway from their underground moniker. The addictive single "Sophia" impressively debuted on the Billboard Hot Dance Singles Sales Charts in September at position #1, replacing Beyoncé in the top spot while landing #7 on the Hot 100 Singles Sales Chart. "We couldn't believe it, doors began to open. It was as if we couldn't be ignored anymore, after a decade and a half we seemed to be getting some respect. The local news in Florida even put us on the nightly news to get our take on the whole thing", the frontman recalls. The following year was pivotal for The Crüxshadows; in May the band successfully toured China performing at the Midi Open-Air Festival in Beijing, in the presence of many thousands of new fans. Later that year the band released the highly anticipated Dreamcypher album that contained yet another Billboard #1 Dance Single with the song "Birthday." This time the band climbed into the #2 spot on the Hot 100 Singles Sales Chart. With Dreamcypher, The Crüxshadows melded their fondness for 1980s Synth Pop/New Romantic sounds with modern Euro dance nuances into perfection. Dreamcypher joins the aforementioned shimmering "Sophia" and "Birthday" with the guitar fronted "Defender" and the majestic sounding "Eye of the Storm." The infectious disc would become The Crüxshadows' best selling album to date both in the United States and abroad.
The following year witnessed another single marching up the Billboard charts. "Immortal" continued the bands musical string of hits, despite the loss of violinist Rachel McDonnell. David Wood and JoHanna Moresco stepped in as an electric violining duo who not only safe-guarded the signature instrument of the band, but expanded it by way of rich layering and counterpoint melodies impossible in previous years. 2008 also saw the band's label Dancing Ferret Discs, withdraw from actively releasing new material. This left the band to deal with a large number of new and unforeseen issues, and delayed their plans to release a new full length album.
While The Crüxshadows spent most of 2009 touring in Europe, the band still managed to release yet another successful Billboard charting single in America. "Quicksilver" debuted just in time for their annual appearance at Atlanta's famed Dragon*Con Convention before an impressive capacity crowd of several thousand of their most loyal fans. "I think the new single, and really the most recent releases in general, are our most polished and well written work" says Rogue, "but there are still those in the scene, and in the business in general, that just think the whole thing is just dumb luck." The single was the first release from Wishfire Records, a new label founded by the band, and eventually reached #1 on The Billboard Hot Dance Singles Sales Charts and #2 on The Billboard Hot 100 Singles Sales Charts. Seemingly too pop for many critics and too underground for the industry, the band has apparently found the perfect balance for the people who matter the most to them; their fans.
The Crüxshadows have played by their own rules, and who is to say in a world of declining sales and illegal internet downloads that they haven't gotten the balance right. Time will tell. For now, The Crüxshadows continue to defy as well as define the odds, and their dark yet positive machine continues to roll.
Elissa
The Crüxshadows Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
The aching words I never spoke
Alone now in this cold abstraction
The sounds of yesterday transpose
And every pause within my conscience
I sadly offer up to you
So I must go before I falter
Before this longing skews the truth
And as I push against the waves
Know my heart is broken too
And though I travel far away
Part of me is with you still
And if it was my choice to make
Elissa I would stay with you
But tomorrow isn't mine to give
And there's something I must do
And if it was my life to live
Elissa I would never leave
I made a promise long ago
And now you must believe
That no matter where I travel
I can only love you more
Whatever course life takes
I can only love you more
I see your shadow like a ghost
Silent and away
Apologies make emptiness
The things I want to say
And this guilt it must be mine alone
But the fire's distant glow
Is broken to a choice unmade
Though I want you, though I need you
And as I push against the waves
Know my heart is broken too
And though I travel far away
Aeneas lives inside of you
And if it was my choice to make
Elissa I would stay with you
But tomorrow isn't mine to give
And there's something yet to do
And if it was my life to live
Elissa I would never leave
I made a promise long ago
And now you must believe
That whatever course life takes
I can only love you more
I can only love you more
Strange light between the blinds
Dimly slipping paper thin
Whispers in my head imply
Some new understanding
Everyone has a purpose
Hidden within our lives
Something we were meant to do
Or feel before we die
The Cruxshadows's song "Elissa" speaks of a difficult decision to leave a loved one behind and embark on a journey to fulfill a promise made long ago. The opening lines paint a picture of the singer in a frozen moment, unable to voice their aching words to the person they love. They offer up every pause in their conscience to their beloved before they leave, acknowledging the pain and longing they both feel. The singer pushes against the waves, implying that this decision is not an easy one but sometimes necessary. Yet, they also reassure their lover that a part of them will always be with them, and they can only love them more no matter where life takes them.
The song speaks to the complex emotions of love and duty, highlighting the sacrifices people make for the greater good. The singer's love is evident, as they would stay with their beloved and never leave if given the choice. However, life is not that simple, and the promise made long ago calls them away.
Overall, "Elissa" is a poignant song that captures the bittersweet feelings of love and duty. The lyrics are beautifully written, and the music captures the sense of longing perfectly.
Line by Line Meaning
Voicing back from frozen moments
Reflecting on past experiences, remembering moments of time that have been preserved in my mind
The aching words I never spoke
Regretting not having communicated honestly, feeling sadness for holding back
Alone now in this cold abstraction
Isolated in my thoughts, distant from reality and feeling disconnected from warmth
The sounds of yesterday transpose
Memories changing over time, evolving with new perspectives and experiences
And every pause within my conscience
Reflecting on inner feelings and thoughts, contemplating every hesitation
I sadly offer up to you
Feeling the need to express my thoughts and emotions even though it may be difficult
So I must go before I falter
Feeling the necessity to move on before succumbing to my emotions and risking potential harm
Before this longing skews the truth
Needing to leave before longing causes me to distort reality and make irrational decisions
And as I push against the waves
Struggling against the obstacles in my life, trying to make progress
Know my heart is broken too
Acknowledging the pain and sorrow affecting me emotionally
And though I travel far away
Moving on to a new chapter in life, perhaps physically and emotionally distant
Part of me is with you still
Leaving behind a piece of myself, unable to completely detach from the past
And if it was my choice to make
Considering alternative options, pondering different decisions and actions
Elissa I would stay with you
Expressing a desire to remain close to someone named Elissa, to not leave them behind
But tomorrow isn't mine to give
Realizing the uncontrollable nature of time and the future, experiencing a sense of powerlessness
And there's something I must do
Having a sense of purpose or responsibility, needing to continue moving forward with my life
And if it was my life to live
Considering hypothetical scenarios, pondering different outcomes and possibilities
Elissa I would never leave
Expressing a vow of commitment and loyalty to someone named Elissa
I made a promise long ago
Reminiscing on a past commitment or agreement made, feeling the weight and importance of that promise
And now you must believe
Asking for trust and understanding, hoping for acceptance and faith in my decision
That no matter where I travel
Reassuring that distance will not change my feelings or intentions
I can only love you more
Promising to continue loving someone named Elissa, even if from afar
I see your shadow like a ghost
Imagining the presence of someone named Elissa, though not physically together
Silent and away
Recognizing the distance and separation between us
Apologies make emptiness
Realizing that apologies may not fill the void or mend the distance between us
The things I want to say
Feeling the urge to communicate my thoughts and feelings, though unable to do so
And this guilt it must be mine alone
Acknowledging responsibility for my actions and the repercussions, experiencing feelings of remorse or penance
But the fire's distant glow
Feeling the pull of a distant desire or motivation, something that draws me forward
Is broken to a choice unmade
Feeling conflicted over an unresolved decision, experiencing indecision and uncertainty
Though I want you, though I need you
Expressing strong feelings toward someone named Elissa, though unable to act on those emotions
Aeneas lives inside of you
Referencing a character from Greek mythology, implying that a part of them will live on within someone named Elissa
Strange light between the blinds
Observing an unfamiliar or unusual light source, perhaps metaphorical
Dimly slipping paper thin
Perceiving something with slight clarity, though not completely
Whispers in my head imply
Hearing voices or thoughts that suggest or hint at something
Some new understanding
Experiencing a realization or comprehension about something important
Everyone has a purpose
Believing that every person has a reason for being, a role to play in life
Hidden within our lives
Suggesting that this purpose or meaning may not always be apparent or easy to uncover
Something we were meant to do
Believing that there is a greater purpose or plan that involves each individual
Or feel before we die
Implying that this purpose or experience is connected to the end of life, perhaps indicating mortality and the need to make the most of time
Contributed by Charlie C. Suggest a correction in the comments below.