With the release of the seminal Telemetry of a Fallen Angel (existing in a few incarnations prior to Dancing Ferret Discs' version in 1997), The Crüxshadows enjoyed their first defining moment courtesy of the infinitely catchy dance floor anthem "Marilyn My Bitterness." With additional strong releases including The Mystery of the Whisper (1999), Until the Voices Fade (1999) and Paradox Addendum (2000) backed by lengthy tours, The Crüxshadows were able to build a legion of diversified fans consisting of everything from jarheads to gamers to anime & role playing enthusiasts.
While the lineup has indeed changed over the years, one constant has remained the same; Rogue, the vocalist, leader and mastermind of The Crüxshadows has directed his troupe towards an unconventional and lofty goal. "I want to change the world with music, I want people to find hope within themselves. I want them to know that anything is possible if you believe and follow through. I think that music has the power to inspire and move people to do amazing things" he muses. He is not alone in his belief. Their fans seem to believe it too. The bands motto "live love be believe" is everywhere, and many of their supporters will tell you that the lyrics have changed their lives in some way. This isn't exactly typical for a band most often identified as gothic or dark-wave. The Crüxshadows are not concerned. "Goth isn't about being a stereotype" the front-man complains, "its about being who you want to be... about not running from yourself or your emotions." The charismatic singer/songwriter/producer understands an audience and tends to deliver his dramatic croon right in their laps. Nothing they do is exactly new, but how they do it is completely unique. The lyrics are deep and meaningful, the stage show is dynamic and entertaining, and the music is hooky and inspired by pop. But pop it is not. It is a hybrid music that exists in a place just left of everyday, and just right of never-ever.
The band has maintained a surprising consistency despite the personnel turnovers that have plagued it in recent years. Jessica Lackey, a singer/dancer who married Rogue in 2007, and keyboardist Jen Jawidzik, who was once Rogue and Jessica's roommate, have stuck with it for the better part of the last decade. "When we have to find someone new, I feel like sometimes they don't understand all the hard work that was necessary for us to get to that point" Jessica states flatly, "It is not difficult to under-appreciate everything the band has accomplished, so people move on because they have not invested the same energy into the project." While the shows and the music continues to get better, that magically 'permanent' combination of personalities has continued to elude them. The band has had a difficult time keeping guitar players and dancers in particular, but has seen turnover in almost every position. These days Crüxshadows has Rogue backed by a mostly female band of new wave latex clad gypsies, and boasts an original mix of violins, dancers, guitars, and electronics. Tight and well-practiced, the seven performers interact on stage with clockwork like precision. The audience is captivated. Some of them scream. Some of them sing along. A few others stare at the stage dumbfounded.
Although The Crüxshadows maintain a strong fan base in their native United States, their most perceptible success seems to be focused in Europe. It is not uncommon for the band to share stages with the likes of Ladytron, Prodigy, The Cure, or even Bjork. The 2002 Tears EP topped the Deutsche Alternative Charts for months, a practice that has continued with all subsequent releases soaring to the DAC's Top 10. "I don't think we're actually more popular there (In Europe)" says Rogue, "It just seems like there is more access to our fans. What we do has more acceptance by the powers that be. In America it feels like all of our victories are covered up or are unacknowledged by the media." 2002 also saw the release of their fifth full-length album Wishfire; a fan favorite that featured the Euro hit "Tears" and a number of other dark dance mainstays. Similarly the follow-up album Ethernaut (released in 2003) brought the band what has become one of its most notable tracks, the European club anthem entitled "Winterborn (This Sacrifice)."
Remixes and special versions of songs have kept there fans satiated when no new traditional album lay on the horizon. In 2004 Fortress In Flames was released featuring a cover by the popular American artist Chad Michael Ward. There The Crüxshadows' material was remixed by peers like the Dutch legends Clan of Xymox and German industrial giants In Strict Confidence. Each year has seen some new disc from the band, and they come in a variety of formats. The year 2005 witnessed the release of their first DVD Shadowbox. The DVD is highlighted by a 2004 performance before a rabid crowd of 15,000 at the Wave-Gotik-Treffen in Leipzig Germany, where the ‘call and response' raw energy the band delves out is served right back by an adoring audience.
In 2006 the band would seem to breakaway from their underground moniker. The addictive single "Sophia" impressively debuted on the Billboard Hot Dance Singles Sales Charts in September at position #1, replacing Beyoncé in the top spot while landing #7 on the Hot 100 Singles Sales Chart. "We couldn't believe it, doors began to open. It was as if we couldn't be ignored anymore, after a decade and a half we seemed to be getting some respect. The local news in Florida even put us on the nightly news to get our take on the whole thing", the frontman recalls. The following year was pivotal for The Crüxshadows; in May the band successfully toured China performing at the Midi Open-Air Festival in Beijing, in the presence of many thousands of new fans. Later that year the band released the highly anticipated Dreamcypher album that contained yet another Billboard #1 Dance Single with the song "Birthday." This time the band climbed into the #2 spot on the Hot 100 Singles Sales Chart. With Dreamcypher, The Crüxshadows melded their fondness for 1980s Synth Pop/New Romantic sounds with modern Euro dance nuances into perfection. Dreamcypher joins the aforementioned shimmering "Sophia" and "Birthday" with the guitar fronted "Defender" and the majestic sounding "Eye of the Storm." The infectious disc would become The Crüxshadows' best selling album to date both in the United States and abroad.
The following year witnessed another single marching up the Billboard charts. "Immortal" continued the bands musical string of hits, despite the loss of violinist Rachel McDonnell. David Wood and JoHanna Moresco stepped in as an electric violining duo who not only safe-guarded the signature instrument of the band, but expanded it by way of rich layering and counterpoint melodies impossible in previous years. 2008 also saw the band's label Dancing Ferret Discs, withdraw from actively releasing new material. This left the band to deal with a large number of new and unforeseen issues, and delayed their plans to release a new full length album.
While The Crüxshadows spent most of 2009 touring in Europe, the band still managed to release yet another successful Billboard charting single in America. "Quicksilver" debuted just in time for their annual appearance at Atlanta's famed Dragon*Con Convention before an impressive capacity crowd of several thousand of their most loyal fans. "I think the new single, and really the most recent releases in general, are our most polished and well written work" says Rogue, "but there are still those in the scene, and in the business in general, that just think the whole thing is just dumb luck." The single was the first release from Wishfire Records, a new label founded by the band, and eventually reached #1 on The Billboard Hot Dance Singles Sales Charts and #2 on The Billboard Hot 100 Singles Sales Charts. Seemingly too pop for many critics and too underground for the industry, the band has apparently found the perfect balance for the people who matter the most to them; their fans.
The Crüxshadows have played by their own rules, and who is to say in a world of declining sales and illegal internet downloads that they haven't gotten the balance right. Time will tell. For now, The Crüxshadows continue to defy as well as define the odds, and their dark yet positive machine continues to roll.
Tears
The Crüxshadows Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Emptiness by candlelight
Memory, a haunted sea
Souring in sudden rage
The damage plagued upon my love
Driven by this selfish urge
To separate yourself from me
The gambit flow of shifting thought
She'll write a kiss upon my cross
And with each moment of despair
Lay to heart a lovely tear
Within each bone the salty sea
Swims; an ocean silently
Swims; the forest of my dreams
Swims; the essence I call me
Come bringing back now can't explain
The measures swept away in pain
Hatred, will I escape your grasp?
Buried feelings let me pass
I cannot kill this final flame
The fire that once consumed my heart
But Hope must have some kind of fuel
And Chance must keep this fire
The gambit flow of shifting thought
She'll write a kiss upon my cross
And with each moment of despair
Lay to heart a lovely tear
Within each bone the salty sea
Swims; an ocean silently
Swims; the forest of my dreams
Swims; the essence I call me
(sampled interlude)
The gambit thought...
The gambit flow...
The gambit...
The gambit flow of shifting thought
She'll write a kiss upon my cross
And with each moment of despair
Lay to heart a lovely tear
Within each bone the salty sea
Swims; an ocean silently
Swims; the forest of my dreams
Swims; the essence of my being
The gambit flow of shifting thought
(Swimming out the tears in my eyes)
She'll write a kiss upon my cross
(Looking for the shore)
And with each moment of despair
(I hope that this is the last time)
Lay to heart a lovely tear
(I hope that this is the last time)
Within each bone the salty sea
(Swimming out the tears in my eyes)
Swims; an ocean silently
(Looking for the shore)
Swims; the forest of my dreams
(I hope that this is the last time)
Swims; the essence of my being
(I hope that this is the last time)
The gambit flow of shifting thought
(Swimming out the tears in my eyes)
She'll write a kiss upon my cross
(Looking for the shore)
And with each moment of despair
(I hope that this is the last time)
Lay to heart a lovely tear
(I hope that this is the last time)
Within each bone the salty sea
(Swimming out the tears in my eyes)
Swims; an ocean silently
(Looking for the shore)
Swims; the forest of my dreams
(I hope that this is the last time)
Swims; the essence of my being
(I hope that this is the last time)
The lyrics of Tears by The Cruxshadows express the pain and heartbreak associated with a breakup. The opening lines describe a lonely and hollow atmosphere, as the singer reaches out into the darkness, accompanied only by the flickering flame of a candle. The second verse implies that the singer's lover left them, probably out of selfish reasons. The chorus talks about the shifting emotions that the singer experiences, as they look back on the past, overwhelmed by grief and tears. The repeated lines at the end of each stanza capture the singer's sense of helplessness and self-doubt.
The sampled interlude adds to the song's raw and haunting vibe, with distorted audio that sounds like a person weeping. The final verses shift again, this time towards hope, as the singer refuses to let go of the "final flame" that once consumed their heart. They want to maintain some sense of hope and optimism for the future while also acknowledging that some things are not meant to be. Overall, the lyrics convey a sense of deep emotional turmoil and the struggle to process it.
Line by Line Meaning
Reaching out in dead of night
Trying to connect in a time of darkness and stillness
Emptiness by candlelight
Feeling empty and alone in the flickering light
Memory, a haunted sea
Recollections that are painful and troubling
Souring in sudden rage
Becoming angry and bitter quickly
The damage plagued upon my love
The harm caused to my affection
Driven by this selfish urge
Acting out of personal gain and desire
To separate yourself from me
Attempting to distance yourself from me
But not the way you planned
Things didn't go according to your expectations
The gambit flow of shifting thought
The risky and unpredictable process of changing one's mind
She'll write a kiss upon my cross
She will imprint her love upon my pain
And with each moment of despair
In the midst of sadness and hopelessness
Lay to heart a lovely tear
Hold and cherish a beautiful expression of emotion
Within each bone the salty sea
The tears are a part of me and are pervasive throughout my body
Swims; an ocean silently
The tears flow quietly and steadily
Swims; the forest of my dreams
Even in my sleep, my tears persist
Swims; the essence I call me
The tears are a core aspect of my identity
Come bringing back now can't explain
Returning to the present without understanding why
The measures swept away in pain
All previous attempts to cope have failed
Hatred, will I escape your grasp?
Can I break free from the grip of animosity?
Buried feelings let me pass
Allow my hidden emotions to release me
I cannot kill this final flame
I am unable to extinguish this last trace of love
The fire that once consumed my heart
The passion that once overwhelmed me
But Hope must have some kind of fuel
Hope requires some source of energy or motivation
And Chance must keep this fire
The possibility of love must sustain this flame
The gambit thought...
The risky idea...
The gambit flow...
The uncertain progress...
The gambit...
The perilous action...
Swimming out the tears in my eyes
The tears stream out of my eyes
Looking for the shore
Searching for safety and reassurance
I hope that this is the last time
I wish this pain would end
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: JAMES GERARD MCDERMOTT
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind