Upon its initial release, "He Hit Me" received some airplay, but then there was a widespread protest of the song, with many concluding that the song was an endorsement of spousal abuse. Soon, the song was played only rarely on the radio, as now.
The 1930 Frank Borzage film Liliom contains the line "He hit me and it felt like a kiss" in its final scene. The film was not a success and nothing suggests that Goffin or King had seen it. Liliom, originally a play by Hungarian playwright Ferenc Molnár, was the basis for the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical classic, Carousel. While King and Goffin may not have seen Liliom, it is possible that they were familiar with the successful 1956 film version of Carousel, which contains essentially the same line. However, King has stated that their friend who inspired the song had used that exact phrase.
Carole King, in that same radio interview, said that she was sorry she had ever had anything to do with the song. She was a survivor of repeated domestic abuse (but not from Goffin, who had been her husband from 1959 to 1969).
He Hit Me
The Crystals Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
And it felt like a kiss
He hit me
But it didn't hurt me
He couldn't stand to hear me say
That I'd been with someone new,
And when I told him I had been untrue
He hit me
And it felt like a kiss
He hit me
And I knew he loved me
If he didn't care for me
I could have never made him mad
But he hit me,
And I was glad
Yes, he hit me
And it felt like a kiss
He hit me
And I knew I loved him
And then he took me in his arms
With all the tenderness there is,
And when he kissed me,
He made me his
The Crystals song "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)" has an incredibly powerful and controversial message. The lead vocalist, Barbara Alston, sings about having an abusive relationship and how she rationalizes the abuse as a symbol of love. The lyrics are about a woman who has cheated on her partner and when she confesses to him, he hits her. Alston sings, "He hit me, and it felt like a kiss. He hit me, but it didn't hurt me". These lines show how the woman is equating being hit with emotional connection rather than physical pain. She believes that the man loves her because he cares enough to hit her.
This song was written by songwriting partners Gerry Goffin and Carole King, who were married at the time. Back in the 1960s, domestic violence wasn't talked about, so the song's message wasn't understood or accepted by everyone. In fact, the song was banned from many radio stations due to its controversial subject matter.
Despite the controversy, "He Hit Me" is a masterful example of songwriting that explores some of the darker corners of human nature. The song has since become a classic, covered by a range of artists, from Smog to Hole. It's a haunting and complex song that continues to this day to stimulate debate and discussion.
Line by Line Meaning
He hit me
The singer's partner physically assaulted them.
And it felt like a kiss
The singer was so in love with their partner that any interaction, even a violent one, felt romantic and desirable.
He hit me
The physical abuse continued.
But it didn't hurt me
Despite the violence, the artist felt no pain or harm from the assault, potentially due to their emotional attachment to their partner.
He couldn't stand to hear me say
That I'd been with someone new,
And when I told him I had been untrue
The artist's partner was jealous and possessive, to the point of reacting violently when the artist mentioned being with someone else.
He hit me
The physical abuse continued.
And it felt like a kiss
The singer continued to perceive the violence as a sign of their partner's love and affection.
He hit me
The physical abuse continued.
And I knew he loved me
The artist was convinced that their partner's violence was a display of love and caring, despite the harm it caused.
If he didn't care for me
I could have never made him mad
The artist believes that their partner's violent outbursts were a result of their intense feelings and attachment to the artist.
But he hit me,
And I was glad
Despite the harm caused by the violence, the singer was happy to receive any attention or affection from their partner, even if it was abusive.
Yes, he hit me
And it felt like a kiss
The artist reiterates the paradoxical and disturbing nature of their experience - that violence felt like love and affection.
He hit me
And I knew I loved him
And then he took me in his arms
With all the tenderness there is,
And when he kissed me,
He made me his
The song ends with the singer describing a scene of physical intimacy with their partner, which they believe validated and reaffirmed their belief that the violence was a manifestation of love.
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: CAROLE KING, GERRY GOFFIN
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@thismayaswellhappen
I’m glad people are understanding that this isn’t promoting domestic abuse but is actually portraying the mindset of an abuse victim. But what’s interesting is that this song is also a portrayal of an unhealthy relationship on both sides. They’re both guilty of being bad partners. And this interpretation happens simply from the addition of the line “and when I told him I had been untrue” which basically says she admits to having cheated.
This is in no way excusing hitting your partner but suddenly his hit doesn’t just come out of nowhere. It can’t be assumed this is a usual thing. There’s a reason for it. He’s suddenly a bit more sympathetic because of course anyone would feel upset about that sort of thing like how a women is often portrayed slapping a cheating boyfriend.
Suddenly this isn’t a song simply about someone excusing their abusive partner, it’s a song about two people who clearly should not be in a relationship with one another. And yet they still are. It’s that dysfunctional couple that you wish would break up for good but stay together for whatever reason and this song feels more like it’s being sung from the female’s perspective clearly showing the reason she herself stays is because she loves him. Truly. Despite cheating. In a way, it makes it seem like she did it to gain his attention anyways.
This won’t be a popular interpretation as many sympathize with the concept of someone staying in an abusive relationship simply out of love for their horrible partner. Many victims in those sorts of relationships never participate in cheating after all and can be very faithful to their violent partner. That tends to be the type of domestic abuse victim you think of. But really if you’ve been intentionally physically harmed by your partner regardless of what may have triggered it—you are technically still a domestic abuse victim.
I bring this up because while the song may have been written to explore the mindset of someone in a bad relationship, because of the addition of that one particular line, it really adds another layer to this tune.
I go back to the girlfriend slapping an unfaithful boyfriend trope that is so so very common. It’s probably the most widely accepted and seen type of domestic abuse that some might not feel is abuse at all but well deserved. Yet no one here in the comments feels that way about the singer in this song. There are double standards involved, yes. But I feel—and what I hope—people understand from this song is that there is absolutely no real good reason to physically hurt your partner. (Unless of course you’re doing it out of self defense in the event they’re attacking you.) But if they cheated on you it doesn’t give you a free pass to harm them. No one should ever be a victim of domestic abuse. Theres seldom any excuse for it. And this song really captures that message. And that’s why I like it so much. You don’t need to be the idealized innocent victim for people to still be able to see that what’s happening to you isn’t right. In a way it’s one of the most inclusive songs about domestic abuse.
@slutberryshortcake1918
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me but it didn't hurt me
He couldn't stand to hear me say
That I'd been with someone new
And when I told him I had been untrue
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me and I knew he loved me
If he didn't care for me
I could have never made him mad
But he hit me and I was glad
Yes, he hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me and I knew I loved him
And then he took me in his arms
With all the tenderness there is
And when he kissed me, he made me his
@lovefromwonderland
if people actually knew the story behind the song, they would know this is NOT endorsing abusive relationships.
gerry goffin and carole king wrote this song when they found out that their babysitter, eva boyd, was being abused by her boyfriend. when they asked her why she put up with it, she said his actions were out of love.
this is a song about falling in love with the wrong person, being so blinded by your infatuation that you submit to their abuse. that’s why the song sounds so whimsical. it’s a fantasy, a dream by the victim, believing all this abuse comes from a place of love.
@sakhile9003
I misunderstood the song
@Amerie352
Problem is that this song is misleading. Who bothers to look into the back stories of any song? Some teenagers might easily be led into believing this is fine
@clairehnetinka8064
@@sakhile9003 - you didn't misunderstand at all. @lovefromwonderland is the one who's not getting it. This song was pulled from the air waves because of the harmful message.
@clairehnetinka8064
I don't buy this for a moment. He hit her cause she cheated and she appreciated it. That's what the song is saying. It is not the autionary tale you're making it out to be.
@lovefromwonderland
You don’t have to believe me, the story I’m telling is true. If you want to believe it’s not a cautionary tale, please go nuts.
@silversnail1413
One of the darkest and most quietly subversive pop songs ever.
@LiterallyStephenSondheim
This song is pretty genius, it's arranged and sung so cheerfully but the lyrics are devastating.
@jesseemullen
The vocals are fairly morose though. The vocal melody is practically Gregorian Chant. I like that it shows the contrast between the love she feels and the grim reality of the situation.
@comedycomedy6888
@@jesseemullenYes, the music is very grim, with the beats coming down like hammer blows.