The Biggest Whatever
The Dillards Lyrics


It got Old Joe Wiggins while returnin' a glance
Out to Bessiemae Hootin pa's place.
About a mile out of town on the West Plains Road,
He disappeared without a trace.

They discovered his teeth, when the County Police
Made an investigation of the case,
And Cousin Belle Simmons said that Sheriff Cartwright
Had the strangest look on his face.
It was the biggest whatever that anybody ever saw.
It was covered with fur and come a-rollin' in from Arkansas.
It was 40 feet high, a gleam in its eye,
And a picturfull patch on its craw.
It was the biggest whatever that anybody ever saw.

I saw old man Huntsel, who's a hundred and four,
Yesterday at Ida Jaffet's house.
He said it's much bigger now than when it carried off my cow,
But it's not enough to worry about.

He said, "Back before the war there were a whole lot more,
But they never came this far south.
He said, "I don't mind seein' one from time to time,
But I hope it's not its regular route.

It was the biggest whatever that anybody ever saw.
It was covered with fur and come a-rollin' in from Arkansas.
It was 40 feet high, a gleam in its eye,
And a picturfull patch on its craw.
It was the biggest whatever that anybody ever saw.

Contributed by Benjamin O. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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