The Sun
The Doug Anthony Allstars Lyrics

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha
An expression of the constant presence of tabloid news

Lust crazed and underage and teenage rampage
Uncontrolled sexual desire in youth culture

EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT SHIT
Sensationalist news headlines with vulgar content

Bible bashing hory story
Religious fanaticism used to excuse sexual misconduct

Bible bashing hories, Torys
A play on words to mock both religious and political hypocrites

Me lords, ladies, ladies, me Lords!
A satirical take on classism and gender roles

Public bashing proud advice, animal sacrifice
Violent and ignorant behavior towards animals justified by superstition

Muslim terror, horror in the air and
Portrayal of Muslims as dangerous and threatening

Kylie is an Alien
Absurd news story that lacks credibility

Transvestite in the house of commons
The British government's hypocrisy toward gender and sexual identity

Margret Thatcher witches common
Comparing Thatcher and her policies to witches and witchcraft

(I told you not to do that Dennis)
Recurring reference to an unresolved matter, satirizing the media's focus on trivial events

A journey to hell through a virgin blood bath
Imagery depicting a violent and disturbing event

(I was a teenage twelve year old)
A satirical remark on the contradictory nature of youth culture

Tie me up and tease me
Reference to BDSM and fetish culture

Robber plays a specialist
Satirical take on the sensationalist portrayal of criminals in tabloid news

Athlete fails drug test
The hypocrisy of sports authorities when it comes to performance-enhancing drugs

Trio in a love nest
Tabloid news gossip about celebrities' private lives

Kylie is a brussel sprout
Another absurd news story with no credibility

Reform girls eat castrated cockaspaneul
Absurd and violent content in tabloid news

Minister in panty raid
Political hypocrisy and scandal

Schoolgirl scandal
Exploitation of minors and youth culture by tabloid news

Pervert
Tabloid news fixation on sexual deviance and misconduct

Vandal
Tabloid news fixation on violence and destruction

Impaled on the handle
Graphic and violent imagery used in tabloid news headlines

Bug Eyed
Dehumanization and mockery of individuals in tabloid news

Fruit-Loops
Dehumanization and mockery of individuals in tabloid news

We are at war with evil
A sarcastic comment on the media's sensationalist portrayal of conflicts

Gotcha!
A repetition of the idea that tabloid news is always watching and waiting for something to happen

Bzzz.
The sound of a tabloid news headline being printed

Here comes the Sun
Transition to a different topic or tone

The Guardian and the Truth
A reference to the Guardian newspaper and its reputation for objective journalism

(Guardian and the Truth)
Reaffirmation of the above statement

The Herald, The Times
A reference to other newspapers with perceived reputations for good journalism

(Herald, the Times)
Reaffirmation of the above statement

Delivered to me and you.
Newspapers are delivered to consumers to be read

I read it Oooo
The act of reading and consuming the news

The letter's 10 foot tall
Tabloid headlines are exaggerated and blown out of proportion

The News of the Newspapers' writing on the toilet walls
Tabloid news is like graffiti or vulgar markings found in public restrooms

Siamese Twins in incest torture chambers
Disturbing and tasteless content featured in tabloid news

"Hurt me, hurt my brother, just hurt my brother"
A quote that represents the sick and twisted nature of some tabloid stories

Herbal remedy for terminal cancer
Deceptive and unproved medical advice presented in tabloid news

Midget doctor,
Tabloid news content that fuels stereotypes and mocks people with physical differences

cesarean catastrophe
Dehumanizing and stigmatizing content related to childbirth and obstetrics

Test tube baby turns to black tar algae
Deceptive and unprove technological news presented in tabloid media

(I didn't mean to hurt her, the bustards forced me)
A tongue-in-cheek reference to domestic abuse and gender relations

Acupuncture proves to be cure for hemophilia
Deceptive and unproved medical advice presented in tabloid news

What the fuck are you doing?
A question about the purpose and ethics of tabloid news

What the fuck are you doing?
A repetition of the above question

I'm trying to help.
A possible response to the above question

Kyle has a sister
An absurd and pointless revelation presented in tabloid news

Danny, urrghh
An incomplete sentence used to indicate disgust or surprise

Bar student real life pantyhose serial killer
Dehumanizing and sensationalizing content related to crime and violence

"Norman, Norman, act like a man"
A quote that represents the sick and twisted nature of some tabloid stories

Violence, Sex, Crime and a Cannibal Dinner

He puts the lotion on his skin and puts it in the basket
A reference to a violent and disturbing scene in a popular movie, used to create shock value in tabloid news

Dwarf man gianting dirty sex video
Dehumanizing and sensationalizing content related to sex and physical differences

Man dies of rust after eating auto
Absurd and humorous news presented in tabloid media

Polygamy for lager lout
Tabloid news content that stigmatizes and mocks certain lifestyles and cultural practices

Lager's friend is a brussel sprout
Another absurd news story with no credibility

and Kylie is a poofter
Tabloid news fixated on sexuality and gender identity

and Jason is a hetro
A reminder of the media's obsession with defining and categorizing people based on their sexual orientation

(ooh Jason)
A shout-out to a specific person, or more likely, another degrading and objectifying reference to a person's potential sexual preferences

Boy finds gives birth to deformed older brother
Another absurd and tasteless news story

Multiscale thirteen
Nonsensical and meaningless term included in tabloid news as a way to create intrigue and confusion

Great, great grandmother
A reference to family ancestry or lineage, but presented in tabloid news as if it were scandalous or absurd

Sewerage system feeds, a two headed monster
An imaginary and ridiculous news story with no basis in reality

Medal of honor for an armless butcher
Sensationalist news story that seems unlikely or undeserved

We are at war with evil
A repetition of the above statement, used in a mocking or sarcastic way to remind readers of how absurd and pointless much of the news seems to be

We are at war with evil
Another repetition of the above statement, emphasizing the same point as before

Gotcha
A repetition of the idea that tabloid news is always waiting for something new to report, and will use any means necessary to find it

Huh
A sound made to indicate the end of the song or the general exhaustion of the topic

Here comes The Sun
The title of a famous song by The Beatles, but used here to indicate a shift in tone or topic. Also serves to bookend the song and give it a sense of closure

The good news of the world
A playful and ironic phrase to describe the positive and uplifting news that's presented in contrast to the dark and disturbing content of tabloid news

The Pastry Lady
Another absurd and pointless reference included as an example of something positive and uplifting. May also be meant to contrast with the violent and sexual themes of the earlier lines

(the pastry lady)
Reaffirmation of the above example

She's a big big girl
A playful and positive description of someone, used to create a sense of fun and joy

I read it Oooo
Reaffirmation of the act of reading and consuming news content

The letter's 10 foot tall
Reaffirmation of the exaggerated and sensationalist nature of tabloid news

The News of the Newspapers' smearing shit down toilet walls
Reaffirmation of the low-level and vulgar nature of tabloid news

through the halls,
Reaffirmation of the way in which tabloid news seems to be everywhere, constantly invading every part of daily life

across the floors,
Reaffirmation of the widespread and intrusive nature of tabloid news

smearing shit over us all
Reaffirmation of the idea that tabloid news is a pervasive and often disgusting part of modern culture