Away
The Fold Lyrics

Dad I know you were sad when you died
I know you were depressed when you passed away, daddy.

And I was young it's the way I kept you in my mind
I held onto the memory of you in my youth, that's why you stayed with me.

The mess that was left and my mother cried
When you left, it was hard on mother, she sobbed at the chaos you left behind.

And when she stood up she was nobody's mother I'd be fine
When she was strong again, it felt like she wasn't my mother anymore, but I knew I'd be okay.

But I missed you then
I longed for you in my memories of my childhood.

And I miss you now
I still yearn for you now that I'm grown up.

Liked you'd missed things I might say
It felt like you weren't there to hear things I wanted to tell you.

You seemed lost in clouds
You always felt distant from me, like you were in a world of your own.

But I'm older now
I'm more mature and have gained wisdom since your passing.

I can see through lifting haze
I now understand things more clearly, even things that were previously clouded.

That you were away even when you were here
Even when you were alive and with us, you weren't always present and available to us.

Sometimes a phrase or a manner that's you
Sometimes I speak or act like you did, as if I inherited your traits.

Comes through me, it goes in a flash
Your presence comes through me, but it's fleeting and temporary.

It's a frame, it's a blink like life
It's like a snapshot, a quick moment, just like how life itself can be fleeting.

Oh and how much now should we pay for the past
The consequences of the past can follow us and impact us even now, in the present.

'Cause you could age with grace if I freed you in my mind
If I let go of my pain and anger towards you, you could age and be remembered with dignity and love.

But I loved you then
I had love for you, even when I was a child.

And I love you now
I still love you, even though you're gone.

All the things I wished I'd asked
There were things I wanted to know from you that I didn't ask when you were here.

When I'm lost in clouds
When I'm feeling lost or confused, like how you seemed to be.

I remember how
I recall my experiences with you and how they impacted me.

I was robbed and I was blessed
Your passing was a roberry from me, but it also gave me blessings and lessons in life.

And you were away even when you were here
Even when you were here, you weren't always present and available to us.

'Cause it's not about you, not you, anymore
This isn't about you, it's about me and the way I perceive and remember you.

It's about what I'd do with it all
It's about how I choose to interpret and deal with my experiences of you.

And I, I'll never let you let me down
I won't allow myself to be hurt by you anymore, daddy.

This morning I wake to be older than you were
Now that I've surpassed your age when you passed, I see life from a new perspective.

Fresh white snow for miles, every footstep will be mine
I have a new beginning, a clean slate upon which I can leave my own mark and walk my own path.

You'd have lost that weight, you'd have gone so straight
I imagine what you might have changed about yourself if you were still alive and around.

You'd have made my wedding day
I imagine how you would have been there for an important day in my life.

You'd have saved my youth from that bullet of truth
I imagine how you could have helped me deal with a difficult situation in my past.

You'd have kept those wolves at bay
I imagine you protecting and sheltering me from dangers and harms in life.

But you were away, you were away even when you were
Even when you were alive, you weren't always present and available to me.