Auntie Maggie's Remedy
The Fourmost Lyrics

Now there's all sorts of medicines that you can buy
There are different medications available for various ailments in the market.

No matter what ailment you've got
No matter what health problem you are suffering from.

But I know a special one you ought to try
The singer recommends a particular medicine.

You'll find it's the best of the lot
It is the most effective medication.

It's my Auntie Maggie's home made remedy, it's guaranteed never to fail
The remedy is made by someone's Auntie Maggie and always works.

That's the stuff that will do the trick
It will do what it is meant to do.

It's sold at every chemist for "one and a kick".
The medicine is sold at every pharmacy for a reasonable price.

Now if you've got lumbago, rheumatics or gout, or a pain in your Robert E. Lee
If you have health problems like back pain, arthritis or gout or some kind of discomfort.

Don't kick up a shindy, you'll never get windy with Auntie Maggie's Remedy
Do not get upset or irate as the remedy will cure your problems.

If you set your alarm clock for eight in the morning
If someone sets their alarm clock to wake up at 8 am.

You're bound to wake up I'll agree
They will definitely wake up at the chosen time.

But I'll bet you by heaven, you'll wake up at seven
The remedy works so well that they will wake up an hour earlier without an alarm.

With my Auntie Maggie's Remedy
The remedy is so effective that it helps them wake up earlier without an alarm clock.

In a young lady's bedroom I went by mistake
The singer accidentally walks into a young lady's room.

My intentions were honest you see
The singer meant no harm and entered the room innocently.

She shouted with laughter, "I know what you're after
The lady finds the situation amusing and thinks she knows the singer's intention.

It's my Auntie Maggie's Remedy."
The medicine is so popular that even the lady in the room knows about it.

Now when the baby starts crying, there's always a reason
Babies cry when there's a problem or discomfort.

And if you inspect him you'll see,
Checking the baby will reveal the cause of crying.

The poor little chappy has covered his nappy
The baby has messed up their diaper.

With Auntie Maggie's Remedy
The remedy is so effective that even babies use it.

Now I went to a doctor, I wasn't too well
The singer visits a doctor as they are not feeling well.

And he made me lie on a settee
The doctor made the singer lie down on a couch for a check-up.

He said "There's trouble brewing, you've been overdoing
The doctor suspects that the singer has been overusing something.

Your Auntie Maggie's Remedy."
The doctor identifies the medicine as the cause of the problem.

Now I know a girl who was putting on weight,
The singer knows a girl who is gaining weight.

In a spot where it just shouldn't be
In an area where it's not desirable to gain weight.

So I said to Nellie, "Now you rub your (–Pause-)
The singer advises the girl named Nellie to do something.

Ankle, with Auntie Maggie's Remedy."
The remedy is suggested to help the girl lose weight.

Now one day at the races, the horse that I backed
The singer bets on a horse at a racing event.

Could have won it was easy to see
The horse could easily have won the race.

But the trainer said after, it would have run faster
The trainer believes the horse could have run faster.

With Auntie Maggie's Remedy – inside it's nosebag
The remedy could have been given to the horse to make it run faster.

With Auntie Maggie's Remedy
The remedy is so popular that even animals like horses can use it.