Mission Improbable
The Herbaliser Lyrics

Woke up at 7:30 early in the morning last week
The singer woke up early last week at 7:30 AM.

Sun shining in my face, I wiped away the sleep
The singer wiped the sleep from their eyes due to the sunlight on their face.

From my eyes, from the beginning, oh shit, what do you know
At the beginning of the day, the singer noticed two men with guns outside their window, surprising them.

Two guys standin' with guns at my bedroom window
Two men with guns were standing outside the artist's bedroom window.

I played it cool, peeped the tools they carried in they hand
The artist remained calm and noticed the guns that the men had.

Two three-fifty-seven Mags and one on the bed stand
The men had two .357 Magnum guns and another one on the bedstand.

I had my, piece under the pillow cause that's just how I do
The singer had a gun under their pillow as a personal habit.

Started to reach for it, but then I guess they knew
Once the artist reached for their gun, the men with guns outside knew what the artist was trying to do.

One nigga started laughin' and turned to his man
One of the men outside started laughing and turned to the other man.

He said, "I don't think that she knows about this plan"
The laughing man said he didn't think the artist knew about the plan.

His man, just smiled, and nodded his head
The other man smiled and nodded his head in agreement.

Aimed his gun at me and said, "Get out of the bed"
One of the men aimed his gun at the artist and ordered them to get out of bed.

I complied, with his wishes, bent down, to grab my slippers
The singer complied with the man's orders and bent down to grab their slippers.

Nigga number one said, "Hey now, no funny business
One of the men warned the singer not to make any sudden movements.

Just, do what we say and everything'll be cool
The men promised that everything would be fine if the singer listened to them.

You'll hear a lot of things today but that's the number one rule"
The men warned the artist that they would hear a lot of things that day, but they should remember to follow the rules.

I said, "What the fuck is this shit, all about?
The artist questioned the men about what was happening.

We can discuss the problem and y'all, can break the fuck out"
The singer suggested that they should discuss the issue and the men should leave.

Nigga number one said, "That we not able to do
One of the men said they couldn't leave.

But there's a tape deck on your table with a message for you"
The men informed the artist that there was a message for them on a tape deck on their table.

It said: follow niggaz one and two's instructions carefully
The tape instructed the artist to carefully follow the instructions given by the two men.

Or fucked up things will happen if you dare to be
The tape warned the artist that bad things would happen if they didn't obey the instructions.

A heroine, these orders come straight from
The singer was instructed to be a hero and informed that the orders came from someone very important.

The President, of the American, People
The orders came from the President of the United States.

Then the tape just stopped, I looked at my watch
The tape ended and the singer looked at their watch.

Niggaz one and two had they guns up cocked
The two men had their guns ready and aimed.

And said, "It's time to go, grab your things and get ready
The men told the singer to gather their belongings and get ready to leave.

In thirteen minutes we all gotta be jetti, c'mon.."
The men informed the artist that they had 13 minutes to leave.

Sitting in the, back of a van, with cuffs on my hands
The artist was sitting in the back of a van with handcuffs on their hands.

Six secret service men in black, one nigga in tan
There were six secret service men in black and one man wearing a tan outfit.

Who's driving? For three hours, we've been riding to
The singer wondered who was driving as they had been riding for three hours.

Route 33, to a very small island and unloaded
They arrived at a small island on Route 33 and got off the van.

Niggaz one and, two at my side
The two men were still with the artist.

Number one glaring at me for the whole damn ride
One of the men was looking at the artist angrily throughout the ride.

They seem to, travel in silence, express themselves in violence
The men didn't talk much, but used violence to communicate.

And I'm the target, shoving me back and forth
The artist was the target and the men were pushing them back and forth.

With very very big guns
The men had very big guns.

What would you do in this situation?
The singer is asking what the listener would do in their situation.

No place to run in the remote location
The singer had nowhere to run since they were in a remote location.

Kept my patience, and stuck to the tape's advice
The artist remained calm and followed the tape's instructions.

Knew my crew could find me with the Negro Tracking Device
The artist knew their crew could track them down using a device.

I wasn't worried, but niggaz one and, two hurried
The singer wasn't worried, but the two men were in a hurry.

They stepped, to the door, where the President was kept
They went to the door where the President was located.

Punched in a passcode, I watched the door slide open
One of the men entered a code and the door opened.

inside Stood there we, and the President arose
They entered and saw the President in the room.

And my people said, "Drop the guns, hop in your van
The artist's crew told the men to drop their weapons and leave in their van.

Get the fuck off the island or we cappin your man"
The singer's crew threatened to shoot the men's accomplice if they didn't leave the island.

The secret service men ran, what could they do?
The secret service men eventually ran away and there was nothing they could do.

There's a lesson - never ever fuck with me and my crew
The moral of the story is to never mess with the singer or their crew.

Check it
The singer is emphasizing that the story is true and the listener should pay attention.