Wet Dream
The Hot Toddies Lyrics


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He scraped his knee and no one jerked him off or rubbed his back for free
And someone might never love me
She was stung by a bee but she still had to make them toast with honey
And how can I sleep when nobody loves me
We are lost at sea and no one jerked us off and somebody thinks it's funny
That we will never agree
Salt water makes crappy chai tea
But I think I read in a magazine
How science proved that the universe
Is someone's erotic dream
Based on these findings we've concluded
That oranges are better than tangerines.

He was in love with she but she lusted for another he, poor me
And there's a cute little kitty named misery
And we died at sea and on top of that I couldn't find my car keys
One kitty, two kitty, now there's three
Four and five that's too many fleas.

But I think I read in a magazine
How science proved that the universe
Is someone's erotic dream
Based on these findings we've concluded
That oranges are better than tangerines.

(repeat verse and chorus)

And if I said I knew the way to heaven
They'd have to hold me down and squirt me twice with their pepper spray.
They'd make me stand before the prosecution
Found guilty of exaggeration I'd win a million days to rot away.





(repeat)

Overall Meaning

The Hot Toddies' song "Wet Dream" is a quirky, tongue-in-cheek take on the ups and downs of life and love. The lyrics are a stream-of-consciousness style narrative, touching on different scenarios and emotions that the singer and their companions are experiencing. There is a juxtaposition between the mundane and the fantastical throughout the song, with references to scraping your knee or making toast with honey alongside the idea that the universe is someone's erotic dream.


The first stanza touches on feelings of isolation and longing for love and comfort. The singer reflects on the fact that no one has ever offered them the kind of physical or emotional support that they desire. This segues into the second stanza, where they describe feeling lost and adrift, in both a literal and metaphorical sense. The line about saltwater making crappy chai tea is a humorous and relatable observation on the challenges of trying to make our favorite things in less-than-ideal circumstances.


The chorus repeats throughout the song, acting as a sort of anchor for the different vignettes described in each verse. It highlights the idea that the universe and everything in it is subjective and open to interpretation. The final stanza takes a more absurd turn, with the singer imagining themselves as a high-stakes criminal facing mocking prosecution for saying they know the way to heaven.


Line by Line Meaning

He scraped his knee and no one jerked him off or rubbed his back for free
He hurt himself and nobody comforted him without something in return


And someone might never love me
There's a chance that I may never be loved by anyone


She was stung by a bee but she still had to make them toast with honey
She was in pain but still had to fulfill her duties and serve others


And how can I sleep when nobody loves me
It's difficult for me to find peace and happiness when I feel unloved


We are lost at sea and no one jerked us off and somebody thinks it's funny
We're struggling and nobody is helping, while others find it amusing


That we will never agree
We have conflicting views and will never come to an understanding


Salt water makes crappy chai tea
The unpleasantness of our situation is affecting even the simplest pleasures


But I think I read in a magazine
A potential source of information or inspiration


How science proved that the universe
A scientific discovery about the nature of the universe


Is someone's erotic dream
A theory that the universe is a creation of someone's sexual desires


Based on these findings we've concluded
Taking this information into account, we've drawn a conclusion


That oranges are better than tangerines.
A seemingly unrelated conclusion based on the prior information


He was in love with she but she lusted for another he, poor me
He loved someone who didn't love him, leaving him feeling rejected and sad


And there's a cute little kitty named misery
A pet that provides mixed feelings of comfort and pain


And we died at sea and on top of that I couldn't find my car keys
After facing a tragic fate, a small annoyance compounds the situation


One kitty, two kitty, now there's three
The situation continues to worsen


Four and five that's too many fleas.
The situation has became unbearable


And if I said I knew the way to heaven
A declaration of knowledge or wisdom


They'd have to hold me down and squirt me twice with their pepper spray.
Others would respond to this statement with violent disbelief


They'd make me stand before the prosecution
There would be consequences for making such an outrageous claim


Found guilty of exaggeration I'd win a million days to rot away.
The consequences would be severe and long-lasting




Contributed by Jake H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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