The Jerk
The Jerk Lyrics

Every time I think that I'm the only one who's lonely someone calls on me
I feel lonely at times, but someone always comes along and makes my day.

And every now and then I spend the time to find a person who's so Close to me
Sometimes I search for someone who is really close to me, and it feels great.

And then along comes Mary (ooh, ooh, ooh) And then she want to give me kicks and Now what to get from me will be memories I really got the tales, all the trials and tribulations No one's ever seen
Then comes Mary, who makes me feel excited and helps me cherish memories of all the trials and tribulations of my life.

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be Close to you Why do stars fall down from the skies Every time you walk by? Just like me, they long to be Close to you
Whenever you are nearby, I feel like the birds and stars that wish to be close to you.

From the day that you were born the fairies got together and decided to create a dream come true So they sprinkled angel dust in your hair Golden starlight in your eyes, ooh
From the day you were born, the fairies decided to create a wonderful, dreamlike world around you by adding angel dust to your hair and golden starlight in your eyes.

I find my baby, gotta hold her tight Gotta grab some afternoon delight My motto's always been "when it's right, it's right" Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night? When everything's a little clearer in the light of day And we know the night is always gonna be here anyway (Thinking of you's working up my appetite) (Looking forward to a little afternoon delight) (Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite) (And the thought of loving you is getting so exciting) (Sky rockets in flight) (Afternoon delight!) (Afternoon delight!)
I love spending time with my baby, whether it's in the daylight or evening, and I'm always excited to be with her and indulge in some fun activities together while feeling amorous.

Have my baby What a wonderful way of saying how much you love me Having my baby What a lovely way of saying what you're thinkin' of me I can see it Faces glowing I can see it in your eyes, a happy knowing 'Cause you're having my baby You're the woman I love and I love what it's doing to ya Having my baby! You're a woman in love and I love what's going through ya
Having your baby is the most wonderful way of expressing your love for me. I can sense your joy and contentment from the glow on your face and sparkle in your eyes, and I love how much it is affecting you as the woman I adore.

Love, love will keep us together Think of me babe, whenever Some sweet-talking guy comes along Singin' a song Don't mess around, you just gotta be strong Stop (stop!) I really love you Stop (stop!) I been thinking of you Look in my heart and let love
Our love will keep us together, and whenever some sweet-talking guy tries to ruin it, you just have to be strong and think of me. I love you so much and think of you often, so let's look to our hearts for more love.

Our little boy is four years old and quite a little man So we spell out the words we don't want him to understand Like T-O-Y or S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E But the words we're holding from him now Tear the heart right out of me Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E Becomes final today Me and little S-O-B Will be going away But I love you both, and this will be pure H-E-double-L on me How I wish we could stop this D-I-V-O-R-C-E
Our little boy is growing up, and it's tough to spell out words we don't want him to know. But the real heartbreak comes from the divorce, which becomes final today, and how our little S-O-B will be going away with me to cause extreme pain and anguish. I love you both and wish we could stop this divorce.

(Golden shower of hits) (Golden shower of hits) (Golden shower of hits) (Golden shower of hits)
These lines are just repeated over and over and likely refer to a celebration or flood of stunning musical hits.