Maxwell's Silver Hammer
The Lollipops Lyrics

Joan was quizzical; studied pataphysical Science in the home.
Joan was curious and interested in studying unusual and obscure things like pataphysical science right from her home.

Late nights all alone with a test tube. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
She spent long nights all by herself working with a test tube doing her scientific experiments.

Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine, Calls her on the phone. "Can I take you out to the pictures, Joa, oa, oa, oan?"
Maxwell Edison, who is studying medicine, calls her on the phone and asks if she wants to go watch a movie with him.

But as she's getting ready to go, A knock comes on the door.
However, as Joan is getting dressed and prepared to go out with Maxwell, someone knocks on the door.

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer Came down upon her head. Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer Made sure that she was dead.
Suddenly, Maxwell uses his silver hammer to violently strike Joan on the head not once, but twice, and kills her instantly.

Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again. Teacher gets annoyed. Wishing to avoid and unpleasant Sce, e, e, ene,
Maxwell goes back to school and starts acting foolishly again. This irritates the teacher who wants to avoid an unpleasant scene with him.

She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away, So he waits behind Writing fifty times "I must not be So, o, o, o"
To punish Maxwell, the teacher tells him to stay behind in the classroom after everyone has left and write the sentence 'I must not be...' fifty times.

But when she turns her back on the boy, He creeps up from behind.
When the teacher turns her back on Maxwell, he sneaks up behind her.

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer Came down upon her head. Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer Made sure that she was dead.
Just like he did with Joan, Maxwell uses his silver hammer to strike the teacher twice on the head, killing her instantly.

P. C. Thirty-one said, "We caught a dirty one." Maxwell stands alone Painting testimonial pictures. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
The police say they have caught the murderer and they refer to him as a 'dirty one'. Meanwhile, Maxwell is all by himself, painting pictures to show his talents.

Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery Say he must go free (Maxwell must go free) The judge does not agree and he tells them So, o, o, o.
Two women named Rose and Valerie fearlessly scream from the gallery, demanding Maxwell's release. However, the judge does not agree with them and he tells them so.

But as the words are leaving his lips, A noise comes from behind.
Just as the judge is speaking, there is a noise coming from behind him.

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer Came down upon his head. Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer Made sure that he was dead.
Suddenly, Maxwell uses his silver hammer once again to strike the judge twice on the head, killing him instantly.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh. Silver hammer man
The song fades out with a repetition of 'Whoa, oh, oh, oh' and the phrase 'Silver hammer man', possibly referring to Maxwell's deadly weapon of choice.