Natalie's Rap
The Lonely Island Lyrics


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We're here today with film star Natalie Portman
Now, Natalie, the last time you were here, I heard things got a little out of control
Yeah, well, I was going through a really weird time then.
But, I've matured a lot
Why don't you fill us in on what it's like to be you?
Okay, ya bish
I'm sorry, what?
Yeah, Portman, Portman, Portman, Portman, Portman, Portman
Fucked your husband and his best friend just for sport, man
Mast around and made the same song twice
Heres's the Bush now, eat your Condoleezza Rice
You know it's clickbait, clickbait, clickbait
Put a dildo on a switchblade, switchblade, switchblade (Woo!)
Xannies dissolving in my Pinot
My man dance, but he's not a ballerino
Yeah, he twinkle his toes, but he give me good D, though
Wrap a good burrito
Tide Pods only fucking thing I snack on
Black out and go motherfucking Black Swan
Oh, these dudes slash, fix your posture boy
I'll come up side your head with my fucking Oscar, boy
My brain gone off that fucking Ayahuasca, boy
Tell your tourist parents I'ma turn you into a foster boy!

Wow, I gotta say it seems like you're almost exactly the same
But with current references
Untrue, I'm a mother now
It's really changed my perspective
And do you find it difficult juggling kids and a career?
You can juggle these nuts
What?

I don't dance now, I make mommy moves
When I gave birth, I didn't even push
I was blazed out, smoking bomb kush
And when my water broke, you know it drowned the doctor
They say I'm sex-positive
Hell yeah, I'm positive
That you're going down while I'm bumping "My Prerogative"
Tell me why
Ha, I guess I'm showing my age
Now bend over and spread them because you about to get fucked (Damn!)

Fascinating stuff
Now I have to ask, Natalie, have you seen the new Star Wars movies?
No
Oh, well they're really good! They're much better than
Better than what?
Shit

Say something 'bout the motherfucking prequels, bitch! (They were good!)
Say something fucking nice about Jar-Jar Binks (He's tall?)
Now kiss him right on his seventeen dicks (What?)
While I sit dead on your face and take a shit

Oh, Natalie (Yeah?)
Please come meet your baby
He cries himself to sleep every night
That little shit ain't mine!
Oh, Natalie (What?)
It's been twelve long years (Shut the fuck up!)
And I'm seven days sober, I swear on his life!
You're a mess, Carl

Okay, well, that's all the time we have.
Natalie, one last question—
Do you think those "Time's Up" pins have had the impact that you were hoping for? (Ah!)
How's that for impact?




Well, actually — oh, no
No more questions

Overall Meaning

The Lonely Island’s song “Natalie’s Rap” features film star Natalie Portman in a rap battle as she tries to counter her public persona. The lyrics are an interpretation of her character as crude and edgy, as opposed to the demure, polished image fans are accustomed to. She claims to have slept with her husband and his best friend, snorted Xanax, and made the same song twice. While the content of the lyrics is highly explicit and borderline offensive, the song is a witty, subversive comment that pokes fun at traditional notions of celebrity, femininity, and politics.


The song was part of an SNL Digital Short segment, premiered on February 3, 2018. The concept of “Natalie’s Rap” started as a joke in a pre-production meeting with the producer, Lorne Michaels, and The Lonely Island. The filmmakers decided to approach Natalie Portman to play a role in a rap video, an idea that she enthusiastically accepted. Portman proved to be highly committed to the role, showing a much different side from her serious, award-winning roles. The result is a hilarious, self-aware, and empowering video that has since gone viral.


Line by Line Meaning

We're here today with film star Natalie Portman
Natalie Portman is here with us today


Now, Natalie, the last time you were here, I heard things got a little out of control
The last time Natalie was here things got out of hand


Yeah, well, I was going through a really weird time then. But, I've matured a lot
The reason the things got out of control was because Natalie was going through a difficult time, but now she's a better person


Why don't you fill us in on what it's like to be you?
Can you tell us about your experiences of being a film star?


Okay, ya bish
Sure, let me tell you


Yeah, Portman, Portman, Portman, Portman, Portman, Portman
My name is Natalie Portman and you're gonna hear it a lot


Fucked your husband and his best friend just for sport, man
I had sex with your husband and his best friend for fun


Mast around and made the same song twice
I messed around and made the same song twice


Heres's the Bush now, eat your Condoleezza Rice
I'm here now, take that, eat your Condoleezza Rice


You know it's clickbait, clickbait, clickbait
You know it's sensationalist journalism, clickbait, clickbait, clickbait


Put a dildo on a switchblade, switchblade, switchblade (Woo!)
I put a dildo on a switchblade, switchblade, switchblade (Woo!)


Xannies dissolving in my Pinot
Xanax pills dissolving in my Pinot wine


My man dance, but he's not a ballerino
My man dances, but he's not a ballet dancer


Yeah, he twinkle his toes, but he give me good D, though
Yeah, he twirls his toes, but he satisfies me


Wrap a good burrito
I wrap a good burrito


Tide Pods only fucking thing I snack on
I only eat Tide Pods


Black out and go motherfucking Black Swan
I black out and go into Black Swan mode


Oh, these dudes slash, fix your posture boy
These men are mean, fix your posture boy


I'll come up side your head with my fucking Oscar, boy
I'll hit your head with my Oscar Award


My brain gone off that fucking Ayahuasca, boy
My brain is affected by Ayahuasca, boy


Tell your tourist parents I'ma turn you into a foster boy!
Tell your parents visiting from another city that I'll turn you into a foster child


Wow, I gotta say it seems like you're almost exactly the same. But with current references
Wow, it seems like you haven't changed much, except for using the latest references


Untrue, I'm a mother now. It's really changed my perspective
That's not true, I'm a mother now and it has really changed the way I think


And do you find it difficult juggling kids and a career?
Is it difficult for you to balance between raising kids and carrying out your career?


You can juggle these nuts
You can try juggling these testicles


I don't dance now, I make mommy moves
I don't dance now, I only make motherly moves


When I gave birth, I didn't even push
When I was delivering the baby, I didn't have to push


I was blazed out, smoking bomb kush
I was high, smoking really good marijuana


And when my water broke, you know it drowned the doctor
When my water broke, it was a lot and it even surprised the doctor


They say I'm sex-positive
They say that I'm open and accepting about sexuality


Hell yeah, I'm positive. That you're going down while I'm bumping "My Prerogative"
Yes, I'm positive, that you'll lose while I'm playing my favorite song "My Prerogative"


Ha, I guess I'm showing my age
I guess I'm revealing how old I am by mentioning a song from the past


Now bend over and spread them because you about to get fucked (Damn!)
Now bend over and spread your legs because you're in trouble (Damn!)


Fascinating stuff
This is very interesting


Natalie, one last question—Do you think those "Time's Up" pins have had the impact that you were hoping for? (Ah!)
Natalie, one last question: Do you think those "Time's Up" pins have had the expected impact? (Ah!)


How's that for impact?
Is that impactful enough for you?


Well, actually — oh, no
Well, actually — oh, no


No more questions
I don't want to answer any more questions


Say something 'bout the motherfucking prequels, bitch! (They were good!)
Say something about the previous movies, bitch! (They were good!)


Say something fucking nice about Jar-Jar Binks (He's tall?)
Say something nice about Jar-Jar Binks, damn it... (He's tall?)


Now kiss him right on his seventeen dicks (What?)
Now kiss him on his seventeen penises (What?)


While I sit dead on your face and take a shit
While I sit on your face as if you're dead and defecate


Oh, Natalie (Yeah?)
Oh, Natalie (Yeah?)


Please come meet your baby
Please come see your baby


He cries himself to sleep every night
He cries himself to sleep every night


That little shit ain't mine!
I don't accept responsibility for that little devil


Oh, Natalie (What?)
Oh, Natalie (What?)


It's been twelve long years (Shut the fuck up!)
It's been twelve years (Stop talking!)


And I'm seven days sober, I swear on his life!
And I've been sober for seven days, I swear on his life!


You're a mess, Carl
You're a mess, Carl


Okay, well, that's all the time we have.
Okay, well, that's all the time we have.




Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: Akiva Schaeffer, Andy Samberg, Colin Kelly Jost, Daniel Celestin, Erik Kenward, Jeremy Coleman, Jorma Taccone, Kent Mason Sublette

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

@mspaintlive8995

Natalie Portman holding someone at gun point making them say nice things about the prequels is the best thing to ever happen

@mickeydeee

dude i legit SCREAMED when that scene happened and she was dressed up and everything

@revoltfromwithin

Get the fuck outta here Craft Punk, nobody is friends with nobody!!!

@Factboy12

To me, every prequel movies are a hundred times better than ''The Last Jedi''.

@melvinbrennaniii2355

@@Factboy12 sad but true

@tardersauce3578

I keep rewatching this video just for that part

26 More Replies...

@chadwildclay

Whoa a new Lonely Island!?

@ZeroDrizzy

Chad Wild Clay go home your lost 😁

@chadwildclay

Hahah good to see you Dewayne! Now make like a tree and....

@hipconal6856

Oh no, not you.

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