Rocky
The Lonely Island Lyrics

Here’s a little story that I think you’ll like
The singer is about to share a story.

It’s not about Shaq or Iron Mike
The story is not about famous basketball player Shaquille O'Neal or boxer Mike Tyson.

So buckle your seat belts it’s gonna get choppy
The story is going to be intense.

And listen to the tale of the time I fought Rocky
The story is about the artist fighting boxer Rocky.

One day me and all my friends were hangin’
The artist and their friends were hanging out together.

Talkin’ ‘bout which of the girls was most bangin’
They were discussing which girls were attractive.

Then one friend says “you know who’s really tough?
One of the friends mentioned that boxer Rocky was really tough.

Rocky” (hit me holmes) the boxer, man
Rocky is a boxer known for his toughness.

I said “yeah I know what about him?” he said
The artist asked their friend what they meant about Rocky's toughness.

“He’s really tough”
Their friend repeated that Rocky was really tough.

No way man, I’m callin’ your bluff
The singer doubted their friend's claim.

I think that I could take him and to prove my point
The artist believed they could beat Rocky and wanted to prove it.

I’ll challenge him in public (hit me homes)
The singer decided to publicly challenge Rocky.

YEAH THAT’S THE JOINT
The singer was excited about their plan.

So the very next day stay true to my word
The singer followed through on their plan.

And I snuck on tv, so I could be heard
The artist went on TV to challenge Rocky.

I said “Rocky if you’re out there I think you’re a nerd,
The artist insulted Rocky.

And I’ll lick you and bury you like a dog turd”
The singer threatened to beat Rocky badly.

I got kicked out but the candle was lit
The singer was thrown out but their challenge gained attention.

Cause the people had to know if my plan was legit
People were curious if the artist could really beat Rocky.

It made the headlines then I got the call
The story gained media attention and Rocky contacted the artist.

It was Rocky (hey) and he wanted to brawl
Rocky agreed to fight the artist.

We negotiated terms, and set the date
The singer and Rocky agreed on the details of their fight.

Then I went into training to add some muscle weight
The artist trained to become stronger for the fight.

While I punched on meat in a rickety shack
The singer trained by hitting meat in a run-down building.

He was sippin’ on wine and havin’ models rub his back
Rocky was relaxing and enjoying the good life.

At the weigh-in, boy the tension was high
There was a lot of tension at the official weigh-in before the fight.

Me and Rock toe to toe and eye to eye
The artist and Rocky sized each other up before the fight.

I talked some trash we got pulled apart
The artist insulted Rocky again but they were separated.

I shot him one last look to strike fear in his heart
The singer tried to intimidate Rocky.

Skip ahead, the big night is finally here
The story jumps ahead to the night of the fight.

My body was ripped and my mind was clear
The artist was physically and mentally prepared.

We entered the arena to the roar of the crowd
The artist and Rocky walked into the arena as the crowd cheered.

People chanting my name, I never felt so proud
The artist was excited that the crowd was cheering for them.

Faced off once more in the center of the ring
The singer and Rocky faced each other in the ring.

Touch gloves, said a prayer, then the bell went (ding)
The fight began after the boxers touched gloves and said a prayer.

He hit me with a left and shattered my face
Rocky landed a hard punch that broke the singer's face.

And a right sent my teeth all over the place
Rocky's next punch knocked out the singer's teeth.

Then another great punch caved in my eye socket
Rocky caused severe damage by punching the singer's eye.

He broke my jaw and my trainer yelled “stop it!”
The artist's jaw was broken and their trainer tried to stop the fight.

But nobody heard him and he crushed my ribs
No one listened to the trainer and Rocky broke the artist's ribs.

Blood sprayed off my face and onto some kids
The singer was bleeding badly and some of it splattered onto children in the audience.

They yelled out “more!” and Rocky obliged
The audience cheered for more violence.

I had to think of some way to turn the tides
The artist needed a way to fight back.

So I leaned back to hit him with all of my might
The artist attempted a big punch.

Took a swing but he caught me with a sucker-punch right
Rocky hit the artist with a surprise punch.

Then a sucker-punch left and a sucker-punch right
Rocky continued to hit the singer with surprise punches.

Then twenty-two consecutive sucker-punch rights
Rocky landed 22 consecutive surprise punches.

He tore off my arms and beat me with ‘em
Rocky became increasingly violent, ripping off the singer's arms and using them to beat them.

Then threw acid in my face which obscured my vision
Rocky threw acid in the singer's face, blinding them.

He kicked me in the leg and fractured my shin
Rocky kicked the singer's leg, fracturing their shin.

The bone splinter shot right out of my skin
The artist's bone broke through their skin.

People barfed in the crowd, they were going insane!
The violence was so intense that some people in the audience vomited.

Then Rocky punched my nose bone into my brain
Rocky was extremely violent, punching the singer's nose bone into their brain.

I was quivering and twitching when I soiled my shorts
The singer was severely injured and lost control of their bodily functions.

Then Rocky pissed on me, customary in sports
Rocky urinated on the artist as a way of humiliating them.

The doctor came out and pronounced me dead
The artist was so badly injured that the doctor declared them dead.

And that was the night I fought Rocky
The story ends with the artist reflecting on the violent fight.