The Old Saloon
The Lonely Island Lyrics


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(No I'm being serious)
Yo, Its the Wild Wild West
You came to the right place my man
Get Ready, here we go
(New Shit!)

Welcome my Friends to the old saloon
Everyone in town is hangin' out
If you gotta drink, well you drink it down
Then we'll all go have sex with whores
(Brand New!)

I'm Old Bill I just rode into town
On my horse?
You betcha on my horse!
That the thing in the Old West Times
Everybody enjoys a good horse ride

If you cheat at cards you'll get thrown out
Right out the Saloon doors on your butt
Come back in and buy a round of whiskey
Guess what? All is forgiven!

Blibbity Jane and your another guy that's probably an Indian
This whiskeys warm and smells like piss
Oh no my stache smells like piss!
So that's the story see if you can do it
The Old Wild West is no place for a lady
I'm the bartender but I'm also the Mayor
So just put that Asian Hooker (DJ wha') on my lap




I'm Tiny Tim and its almost Christmas
Sure is dusty here.

Overall Meaning

The Lonely Island's "The Old Saloon" is a hilarious parody of old Western saloon culture. The lyrics set the scene of a wild, rowdy bar where anything goes. The song opens with a classic Wild West callout, inviting listeners to enter the saloon and enjoy the debauchery that unfolds within. The singer, Old Bill, introduces himself as a classic cowboy on his trusty horse, which was a staple of transportation in the Old West era.


The second verse takes a slightly darker turn, with the lyrics referencing the potential consequences of cheating at cards. This is followed up by a more jovial refrain that suggests all is forgiven after buying another round of whiskey. However, true to form for The Lonely Island, the song quickly takes another comedic turn with Blibbity Jane and the unfortunate realization that the whiskey being served may not be up to par. The song then concludes with some more absurd character introductions and a final observation about the dusty conditions of the Old West.


Overall, "The Old Saloon" is a fun, satirical take on the Wild West tropes that have been depicted in countless movies and television programs over the years.


Line by Line Meaning

Yo, Its the Wild Wild West
Let's get ready to party hard in the Wild West!


You came to the right place my man
You made a good decision to come here, friend.


Get Ready, here we go
Prepare for a fun time!


Welcome my Friends to the old saloon
We're here at the Old Saloon to have a good time with friends.


Everyone in town is hangin' out
The whole town is here enjoying themselves.


If you gotta drink, well you drink it down
If you want a drink, no one's stopping you from having one!


Then we'll all go have sex with whores
After drinks, some people might engage in sexual activity with prostitutes.


I'm Old Bill I just rode into town
I'm just a guy who arrived here on my horse, Old Bill.


On my horse?
Yes, that's how people used to get around in the Old West.


You betcha on my horse!
Absolutely, I rode in on my trusty steed.


That the thing in the Old West Times
Riding horses was a common mode of transportation back then.


Everybody enjoys a good horse ride
It's a fun activity that everyone can enjoy!


If you cheat at cards you'll get thrown out
Cheating is not allowed and will result in being kicked out.


Right out the Saloon doors on your butt
You'll be escorted out of the Saloon if you cheat.


Come back in and buy a round of whiskey
If you come back and make up for it, we'll let it slide.


Guess what? All is forgiven!
We're a forgiving bunch!


Blibbity Jane and your another guy that's probably an Indian
I don't really know your name or ethnicity.


This whiskeys warm and smells like piss
This whiskey isn't very good.


Oh no my stache smells like piss!
Oh, no! I spilled some on myself and now I smell like urine.


So that's the story see if you can do it
That's just how it goes sometimes!


The Old Wild West is no place for a lady
This place might not be suitable for women.


I'm the bartender but I'm also the Mayor
I'm in charge of both the drinks and the town!


So just put that Asian Hooker (DJ wha') on my lap
I'm going to have this woman sit on my lap.


I'm Tiny Tim and its almost Christmas
My name is Tiny Tim and the holiday season is almost here.


Sure is dusty here.
It's pretty dusty in this Old West town.




Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Akiva Schaffer, Andrew Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Mark Ali Potsic

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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