Wallace was born and raised in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. His debut album Ready to Die (1994) made him a central figure in East Coast hip hop and increased New York City's visibility in the genre at a time when West Coast hip hop dominated the mainstream. The following year, he led Junior M.A.F.I.A.—a protégé group composed of his childhood friends—to chart success. In 1996, while recording his second album, Wallace was heavily involved in the growing East Coast–West Coast hip hop feud. On March 9, 1997, he was murdered by an unknown assailant in a drive-by shooting in Los Angeles. His second album, Life After Death (1997), released two weeks later, rose to No. 1 on the U.S. album charts. In 2000, it became one of the few hip-hop albums to be certified Diamond.
Wallace was noted for his "loose, easy flow"; dark, semi-autobiographical lyrics; and storytelling abilities, which focused on crime and hardship. Three more albums have been released since his death, and he has certified sales of over 17 million records in the United States, including 13.4 million albums.
Wallace was born at St. Mary's Hospital in the Brooklyn borough of New York City on May 21, 1972, the only child of Jamaican immigrant parents. His mother, Voletta Wallace, was a preschool teacher, while his father, Selwyn George Latore, was a welder and politician. His father left the family when Wallace was two years old, and his mother worked two jobs while raising him. Wallace grew up at 226 St. James Place in Brooklyn's Clinton Hill, near the border with Bedford-Stuyvesant. Wallace excelled at Queen of All Saints Middle School winning several awards as an English student. He was nicknamed "Big" because he was overweight by the age of 10. Wallace said he started dealing drugs when he was around the age of 12. His mother, often away at work, did not know of his drug dealing until he was an adult. He began rapping as a teenager, entertaining people on the streets, and performed with local groups the Old Gold Brothers and the Techniques. At his request, Wallace transferred from Bishop Loughlin Memorial High School to George Westinghouse Career and Technical Education High School, where future rappers DMX, Jay-Z, and Busta Rhymes were also attending. According to his mother, Wallace was still a good student but developed a "smart-ass" attitude at the new school. At age 17, Wallace dropped out of school and became more involved in crime. In 1989, he was arrested on weapons charges in Brooklyn and sentenced to five years' probation. In 1990, he was arrested on a violation of his probation. A year later, Wallace was arrested in North Carolina for dealing crack cocaine. He spent nine months in jail before making bail.
Wallace's lyrical topics and themes included mafioso tales ("Niggas Bleed"), his drug-dealing past ("10 Crack Commandments"), materialistic bragging ("Hypnotize"), as well as humor ("Just Playing (Dreams)"), and romance ("Me & My Bitch"). Rolling Stone named Wallace in 2004 as "one of the few young male songwriters in any pop style writing credible love songs".
Guerilla Black, in the book How to Rap, describes how Wallace was able to both "glorify the upper echelon" and "[make] you feel his struggle". According to Touré of The New York Times in 1994, Wallace's lyrics " autobiographical details about crime and violence with emotional honesty". Marriott of The New York Times (in 1997) believed his lyrics were not strictly autobiographical and wrote he "had a knack for exaggeration that increased sales". Wallace described his debut as "a big pie, with each slice indicating a different point in my life involving bitches and niggaz... from the beginning to the end".
Ready to Die is described by Rolling Stone as a contrast of "bleak" street visions and being "full of high-spirited fun, bringing the pleasure principle back to hip-hop". AllMusic write of "a sense of doom" in some of his songs and the NY Times note some being "laced with paranoia"; Wallace described himself as feeling "broke and depressed" when he made his debut. The final song on the album, "Suicidal Thoughts", featured Wallace contemplating suicide and concluded with him committing the act.
On Life After Death, Wallace's lyrics went "deeper". Krims explains how upbeat, dance-oriented tracks (which featured less heavily on his debut) alternate with "reality rap" songs on the record and suggests that he was "going pimp" through some of the lyrical topics of the former. XXL magazine wrote that Wallace "revamped his image" through the portrayal of himself between the albums, going from "midlevel hustler" on his debut to "drug lord".
AllMusic wrote that the success of Ready to Die is "mostly due to Wallace's skill as a storyteller"; in 1994, Rolling Stone described Wallace's ability in this technique as painting "a sonic picture so vibrant that you're transported right to the scene". On Life After Death, Wallace notably demonstrated this skill on "I Got a Story to Tell", creating a story as a rap for the first half of the song and then retelling the same story "for his boys" in conversation form.
Considered one of the best rappers of all time, Wallace was described by AllMusic as "the savior of East Coast hip-hop". The Source magazine named Wallace the greatest rapper of all time in its 150th issue in 2002. In 2003, when XXL magazine asked several hip hop artists to list their five favorite MCs, Wallace's name appeared on more rappers' lists than anyone else. In 2006, MTV ranked him at No. 3 on their list of The Greatest MCs of All Time, calling him possibly "the most skillful ever on the mic". Editors of About.com ranked him No. 3 on their list of the Top 50 MCs of Our Time (1987–2007). In 2012, The Source ranked him No. 3 on their list of the Top 50 Lyrical Leaders of all time. Rolling Stone has referred to him as the "greatest rapper that ever lived". In 2015, Billboard named Wallace as the greatest rapper of all time.
Since his death, Wallace's lyrics have been sampled and quoted by a variety of hip hop, R&B and pop artists including Jay-Z, 50 Cent, Alicia Keys, Fat Joe, Nelly, Ja Rule, Eminem, Lil Wayne, Game, Clinton Sparks, Michael Jackson and Usher. On August 28, 2005, at the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards, Sean Combs (then using the rap alias "P. Diddy") and Snoop Dogg paid tribute to Wallace: an orchestra played while the vocals from "Juicy" and "Warning" played on the arena speakers. In September 2005, VH1 held its second annual "Hip Hop Honors", with a tribute to Wallace headlining the show.
Wallace had begun to promote a clothing line called Brooklyn Mint, which was to produce plus-sized clothing but fell dormant after he died. In 2004, his managers, Mark Pitts and Wayne Barrow, launched the clothing line, with help from Jay-Z, selling T-shirts with images of Wallace on them. A portion of the proceeds go to the Christopher Wallace Foundation and to Jay-Z's Shawn Carter Scholarship Foundation. In 2005, Voletta Wallace hired branding and licensing agency Wicked Cow Entertainment to guide the estate's licensing efforts. Wallace-branded products on the market include action figures, blankets, and cell phone content.
The Christopher Wallace Memorial Foundation holds an annual black-tie dinner ("B.I.G. Night Out") to raise funds for children's school equipment and to honor Wallace's memory. For this particular event, because it is a children's schools' charity, "B.I.G." is also said to stand for "Books Instead of Guns".
There is a large portrait mural of Wallace as Mao Zedong on Fulton Street in Brooklyn a half-mile west from Wallace's old block. A fan petitioned to have the corner of Fulton Street and St. James Place, near Wallace's childhood home renamed in his honor, garnering support from local businesses and attracting more than 560 signatures.
A large portrait of Wallace features prominently in the Netflix series Luke Cage, due to the fact that he served as muse for the creation of the Marvel Cinematic Universe's version of Marvel Comics character Cornell "Cottonmouth" Stokes.
Suicidal Thoughts
The Notorious B.I.G. Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
What the fuck time is it, man?
Oh goddamn, nigga
Do you know what time it is?
Aw shit, what the fuck's goin' on? You aight?
Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?
When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies
Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit
No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked
Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise
Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice (you talkin' some crazy shit now, nigga)
All my life I been considered as the worst
Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion
She don't even love me like she did when I was younger (get a hold of yourself, nigga)
Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
I wonder, if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
My baby mother's eight months, her little sister's two
Who's to blame for both of them? (Nah, nigga, not you)
I swear to God I want to just slit my wrists and end this bullshit
Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit (nigga, what the fuck?)
And squeeze until the bed's completely red (it's too late for this shit, man)
I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddha head
The stress is buildin' up, I can't, I can't believe (yo, I'm on my way over there, man)
Suicide's on my fuckin' mind, I wanna leave
I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me
But nah, you wouldn't understand (nigga, talk to me please, man)
You see it's kinda like the crack did to Pookie in New Jack
Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back (yo, I'ma call you when I get in the car)
Should I die on the train track like Ramo in Beat Street?
People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me (ayo, where your girl at, man?)
My baby mama kiss me, but she glad I'm gone (yo, put your girl on the phone, nigga)
She know me and her sister had somethin' goin' on
I reach my peak, I can't speak (ayo, you listenin' to me, motherfucker?)
Call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak (ayo, c'mon, nigga)
I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin'
Matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'
(Ayo, Big, ayo, Big)
Please hang up, and try your call again
Please hang up, this is a recording
The lyrics to The Notorious B.I.G.'s "Suicidal Thoughts" depict a conversation between the artist and an unknown person. The artist is contemplating suicide and explaining his reasons for doing so. He begins by saying that when he dies, he wants to go to hell because he feels like he is a piece of shit who doesn't deserve to go to heaven with the "goodie-goodies." He goes on to say that he has been considered the worst all his life, committing crimes and lying to his mother, and that his mother probably wishes she never had him. He then mentions his baby mama and her sister, suggesting that they were involved with him and that he is sick of people lying and talking.
The lyrics are a poignant exploration of depression and suicidal ideation. The artist is clearly struggling with self-worth and feels that his life doesn't have any value. He also expresses a desire to escape the expectations of heaven and be able to indulge in his vices without guilt. The conversation with the unknown person highlights the artist's sense of isolation and desperation, culminating in a desire to end his life.
Line by Line Meaning
Hello? Aw shit, nigga
Someone answers the phone, distressed and cursing.
What the fuck time is it, man?
The person expresses confusion about the time.
Oh goddamn, nigga
The person expresses frustration and despair.
Do you know what time it is?
The person repeats their question looking for an answer.
Aw shit, what the fuck's goin' on? You aight?
The person is concerned and confused about the situation of their conversation partner.
Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?
The person confronts their conversation partner, asking what is happening with them.
When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
The person states their desire to go to hell when they die.
'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
The person sees themselves as worthless and undeserving of going to heaven.
It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies
The person questions the idea of going to heaven with good people.
Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
The person expresses their preference for black clothing instead of white clothing often associated with heaven.
God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit
The person imagines God punishing them harshly in the afterlife.
No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked
The person envisions a strict life in the afterlife with no pleasures or relaxation.
Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise
The person expresses their aversion to spending eternity with good people in a peaceful place.
Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice
The person desires to continue living a life of crime and aggression in the afterlife.
All my life I been considered as the worst
The person laments their lifelong reputation as a bad person.
Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
The person confesses to lying to and stealing from their own mother.
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
The person lists their extensive criminal history.
I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion
The person believes their own mother regrets giving birth to them.
She don't even love me like she did when I was younger
The person feels unloved and unappreciated by their own mother.
Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
The person recalls their infancy and need for sustenance from their mother.
I wonder, if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
The person wonders if their death would affect their mother emotionally.
Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
The person apologizes for their mistreatment of others and their own dishonesty.
My baby mother's eight months, her little sister's two
The person mentions their significant other's pregnancy and their young sibling.
Who's to blame for both of them? (Nah, nigga, not you)
The person questions who is responsible for the two young children but dismisses the idea that they themselves are the culprit.
I swear to God I want to just slit my wrists and end this bullshit
The person expresses their intense desire to end their own life.
Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit (Nigga, what the fuck?)
The person imagines shooting themselves in the head with a gun.
And squeeze until the bed's completely red (It's too late for this shit, man)
The person envisions the violent and bloody scene of their suicide.
I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddha head
The person, still alive, expresses their suicidal thoughts and calls themselves a worthless Buddha head.
The stress is buildin' up, I can't, I can't believe (Yo, I'm on my way over there, man)
The person expresses their intense stress and disbelief, and someone else offers to come over.
Suicide's on my fuckin' mind, I wanna leave
The person reasserts their desire to commit suicide.
I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me
The person feels as though they are being called to death itself.
But nah, you wouldn't understand (Nigga, talk to me please, man)
The person believes others cannot understand their pain and struggles.
You see it's kinda like the crack did to Pookie in New Jack
The person compares their situation to the character Pookie from the film New Jack City, who struggled with addiction to crack cocaine.
Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back (Yo, I'ma call you when I get in the car)
The person acknowledges that death is final and irrevocable.
Should I die on the train track like Ramo in Beat Street?
The person considers dying in a similar way to the character Ramo in the film Beat Street, who died after being hit by a train.
People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me (Ayo, where your girl at, man?)
The person predicts that people at their funeral will act like they miss the deceased, but they will really be pretending.
My baby mama kiss me, but she glad I'm gone (Yo, put your girl on the phone, nigga)
The person believes their baby mama is pretending to mourn their death and does not actually miss them.
She know me and her sister had somethin' goin' on
The person reveals that they had an affair with their baby mama's sister.
I reach my peak, I can't speak (Ayo, you listenin' to me, motherfucker?)
The person feels as though they have reached their limit and are unable to communicate effectively with others.
Call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak (Ayo, c'mon, nigga)
The person asks someone to contact their friend Chic and tell him that they are struggling and considering suicide.
I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin'
The person is tired of people lying and being dishonest with them.
Matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'
The person expresses their desire to stop talking and take action, potentially ending their own life.
(Ayo, Big, ayo, Big)
Someone attempts to get the person's attention and bring them back to the present moment.
Please hang up, and try your call again
The call ends with an automated message advising the person to try dialing again later.
Please hang up, this is a recording
The automated message repeats, ending the song on a somber note.
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Peermusic Publishing
Written by: Christopher Wallace, Robert Hall
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@BigWilly332
“She don’t even love me like when I was younger” man, that shit hits home...
@pethamenostheos2697
true broo
@BigSmokePapi
Yeah, I just wish someone loved me.
@bobbyishere2707
@@BigSmokePapi i love u bro u got this you’ll find the perfect one someday keep ur head up king 👑❤️
@BigSmokePapi
@@bobbyishere2707 Thanks man, I'm 14 which is super young so I got time. It means alot bro, I'm here If you need to talk aswell.
@VinnyGuardino
She don’t love me like how she used to sadly I feel tossed aside
@ariannasprings3235
"i wonder if i die, would tears come to her eyes?"
@user-jd5df9ln2j
Deep
@rawkus1562
Arianna Springs I feel that line
@braysway10
hell no. not in this day in age when everyone is a fucking narcissistic. life is fucking meaningless