The Onion News Network, encompasing the former separate divisions of the O… Read Full Bio ↴The Onion News Network, encompasing the former separate divisions of the Onion Radio News as well as its video and print divisions, presents a single hard-hitting news story per day, an audio version of the same award-winning coverage The Onion is known for in its print and online versions. Doyle Redland (Recent Onion annual poetry contest winner) is the tough-as-nails anchorman who millions have learned to trust as his soothing voice describes the most crucial happenings of the day. It's free to download from The Onion.
More Genres
No Artists Found
More Artists
Load All
No Albums Found
More Albums
Load All
No Tracks Found
Genre not found
Artist not found
Album not found
Search results not found
Song not found
Christ Announces Hiring Of Associate Christ
The Onion Lyrics
No lyrics text found for this track.
The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos
The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos
NonsenseFabricator
I love how "the mainstream media's just too afraid to have me on" is followed by "And here's a spokesman from Al Qaeda..."
Dug
Hahaha didn’t catch thatXD
HedHunTer Vizo
I miss the Old Onion
Thando Banda
😆
A G
Didn't he say "muslim mainstream media" ?
2016 Silverado
The “2 months in mountain caves” line is so good, does anyone else remember when the newspapers thought that we couldn’t find Bin Laden because he somehow hollowed out a cave and all the terrorists were hiding in it? There was a whole diagram about how it would work and what it looked like, and then it turned out that he was just in a fuckin house
Edward Fletcher
Yeah Pakistan really did a good job helping him....
p yellard
Smart move..Not so much trusting his Doctor... Who we do hear so much on... 🤔😉
Kaanfight
Ah yes, the Tora Bora complex. That DoD diagram is hilarious
Alan S
The crazy part is that was a fictional diagram from times of London and Rumsfeld went on "meet the press" and passed it off as real saying "not just one there are MANY of those"
edit: I found the video lol:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGhGHxw0mSo