The Onion News Network, encompasing the former separate divisions of the O… Read Full Bio ↴The Onion News Network, encompasing the former separate divisions of the Onion Radio News as well as its video and print divisions, presents a single hard-hitting news story per day, an audio version of the same award-winning coverage The Onion is known for in its print and online versions. Doyle Redland (Recent Onion annual poetry contest winner) is the tough-as-nails anchorman who millions have learned to trust as his soothing voice describes the most crucial happenings of the day. It's free to download from The Onion.

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01Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes

02Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

03Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

04Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee

05Back Of Library Smells Like Weed

06Chinas Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great The Chinese Government Is

07New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

08Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday

09DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack

10Temp Puts Extensive Knowledge Of Alphabet To Good Use

11U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt

12U.S. Teens Lead World In Pregnancy-Test Scores

The Onion

13FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful

14Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Surpasses Two Hand Jobs

15More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas

16Christ Announces Hiring Of Associate Christ

17Rules Grammar Change

18Congress Overturns Ban On Lawn Darts

19DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico

20Wife's Shortcomings Laid Bare By Female Sportscaster

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U.S. Teens Lead World In Pregnancy-Test Scores
The Onion Lyrics

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The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos

Comments from YouTube:

@MamaDoctorJones

2y↑385

Genuine apologies for the emotional damage my Texan pronunciation or my editors synonym typo incited. Please send an invoice for damages. 😉

@kritycat

2y↑18

I was just about to leave a comment on the different implications of the word "bare" vs. "bear"! 😆 BTW, I love your content! Thank you for putting in so much work to educate the masses!

@fifiroux

2y↑36

I'm going to watch the whole thing, I promise. But 58 seconds in my brain is going "PAP-aris....pa-PY-rus....PAP-aris....pa-PY-rus" and I had to let it out or I was going to explode.

@dianaw4072

2y↑17

This fellow Texan didn’t notice. 😂

@elisharoberts1029

2y↑14

@@fifiroux for real though. I kept shouting Pa pie rus!!!!!! Then I laughed at myself because I was home alone watching this and shouting at my phone.

The medical word that always kills me depending on how it's said is duodenum... They say it duo deenum or dew wad a nem and I'm like ugh just day it the way I learned it and let's call it a day!

@gummysnacksandknives9229

2y↑11

Just letting you know there's a spam account posing as you in the comments

Unless you're suddenly into bitcoin etherium mining?

26 More Replies...

@cairrean2412

2y↑1.6K

That ancient "pee on the grain" pregnancy test had a roughly 80-85% accuracy rate. Which is pretty impressive for an ancient era pregnancy detection.

@lizreszke6183

2y↑90

I was going to comment the same thing! It's such a strange but fascinating topic to learn about.

@ChemEDan

2y↑71

Absolutely insane! I'm really curious about the circumstances leading to the discovery tho XD

@lisamisik5395

2y↑81

The ancient Egyptians were way ahead of their time!

@b.schurman

2y↑120

Also, super bonus points for having a relatively non-invasive way of testing, as opposed to killing rodents and forcing amphibians to lay eggs.

@White_wolf0789

2y↑15

Russians also used the grain test

9 More Replies...

@evile99

2y↑1K

So “Take a pregnancy test” is your version of Dr Mike’s “Chest compressions” (or vise versa)?😂

@jamessanders145

2y↑116

and Legal Eagle's version of "don't talk to the police without a lawyer".

@emilyabigail3644

2y↑28

@@jamessanders145 they all need to collaborate!!!!!!!

@nadinathornhill8299

Perfect 😂

@moniquejose-duvall8385

2y↑8

@@emilyabigail3644 haven’t they already?

@mctheobeymebunny190

2y↑1

Both

10 More Replies...

@melissacurran530

2y↑334

My husband walked into the room just as you said the "please do not put an onion in your vagina" part and gave me a very confused look.

@laartje24

2y↑14

He must have thought we put onions in there all the time XD

@heikika6078

2y↑9

Then he definitely needs to watch MDJ with You 😍

@Kelly.Sutton

2y↑5

😂🤣

@RoseabzillaEm

2y↑19

I’ve heard a lot of “please don’t put _ in your vagina” on this channel. Luckily I don’t think my bf questions the weird shit he hears from tv shows/YouTube videos anymore 😂

@Justanotherconsumer

2y↑3

Using pomegranate halves as a pessary was a thing.

The Daily Fail also claimed that a woman was hospitalized after attempting to use a potato as a contraceptive device, but… Daily Fail, so take it with a grain of… garlic salt?

1 More Replies...

@dianaw4072

2y↑2K

My grandma found out she was pregnant with her 6th and last baby only because she was on the operating table for a hysterectomy when they cut her open, they said, “OOPS! This is occupied! No hysterectomy today!” 😂😱😳 My aunt is alive and well today but YIKES! I imagine this probably happened more often than we know.

Edit to add: grandma is 93. She’s a freaking warrior. She has only one lung thanks to TB. And the other one is only partially functional. She has died before and was brought back after an insane amount of time with no neuro deficits. She amazes me! Grateful she’s still with us. I have lots of stories recorded because they are so amazing.

@raraavis7782

2y↑598

One more reason, why pregnancy tests are mandatory before major medical procedures today 😆👍

@MamaDoctorJones

2y↑528

🤯

@2BOLD4U

2y↑91

How far into her pregnancy was she?

@RedRoseSeptember22

2y↑210

OMG lol!!! "Oops this is coccupied" lmfaooo!!!

@astranaut3967

2y↑335

Even as recently in 2016, my friend went in for her hysterectomy. Mandatory ultrasound before the procedure. The ultrasound tech: We are going to cancel your surgery. My friend: why? Ultrasound tech: you are 12 weeks pregnant 🤣

74 More Replies...

@TinksiehTink

2y↑837

"Even in Ancient Greece, the vagina was not a vegetable garden." words to live by!

@SwearMY

2y↑25

Nor did it wander, nor was it capable of flying out of the body, etc.

@Maria-jq3zv

A friend of mine decided to try some old and DIY pregnancy tests for fun. One of the ones she did was the onion one. And it got stuck up her vagina.

@jennifergraceh

42w↑2

Omg I actually cackled out loud at that

@jduncan77

2y↑173

I can confirm that Claire McEwen Duncan is my little sis and she not only graduated with honours from her Masters Thesis but went on to also complete her PHD 🙌 Love the shoutout

@MamaDoctorJones

2y↑65

Omg I love this so much 🥰😵‍💫 tell her I’m a fan

@RodneyAndMeVideos

48w↑9

Oh this makes me so happy. Thank you. Wishing her all the best

@squee599

39w↑6

I definitely came to the comments to see if Claire McEwen Duncan had heard about this video and find out how their thesis went!

@gillianwhelan248

2y↑1.2K

I wonder if in 50yrs medical historians will be like "remember when people used to have to actually pee on a stick to find out if they were pregnant, instead of just getting a notification from their wearable tech (e.g. fitbit etc)?" Thank you for a very interesting video, I really enjoyed watching it :)

@RedRoseSeptember22

2y↑36

Haha that'd be funny if the technology to actually do that is invented XD

@mose033

2y↑24

Omg yes! An episode of Black Mirror actually did this!!

@beth_m

2y↑26

That would be terrifying tbh haha

@blackmber

2y↑51

Technology already exists that could do this, though I’m not sure it’s as reliable as a urine pregnancy test. Basal body temperature (BBT) increases after ovulation until menstruation. If the temperature stays elevated for over 14 days, it’s a sign of pregnancy. There are wearables marketed specifically to measure bbt for people trying to conceive or avoid pregnancy.

Urine pregnancy tests still have an advantage though because some can detect pregnancy earlier.

@memorycelle

2y↑14

@@blackmber I was just wondering if temperature could work. I've heard that taking temp to know if fertile works better when you have a strict routine and aren't sick though.

12 More Replies...

@littleshedevl

2y↑81

“Please don’t put onions in your vagina. I would just recommend going and peeing on some cereal to see if it sprouts instead” Lmao!! I’m so dead!! That was hilarious

@pigpjs

2y↑368

My mom was an Analytical Chemist working in a lab in the 80s and realized she had all the equipment she needed to do her own pregnancy test at work. So she did. One of her female colleagues saw it and knew what it was and congratulated her on her pregnancy.

@Hawther

2y↑69

I had a reproductive physiology professor who was developing a hCG ELISA and thought she was providing a negative control. Nope. But, hey, the test worked!

@messa432

2y↑5

Soo cool!

@fifiroux

2y↑34

Now I'm envisioning a woman in a chemistry lab periodically checking on a frog in a drawer to see if it's layed eggs.

@suzaynnschick158

2y↑4

Oh, wow. Life as a researcher!

@MDaggatt

2y↑253

Tasting urine was actually really important because for most of history it was the only accurate test for diabetes! Diabetes mellitus literally means "urine that tastes like honey"

@skippy.9865

2y↑1

There are whiskeys made with diabetics urine due to the sweetness

@blaireshoe8738

2y↑32

I do recall a story several years back of a man who found out his partner was becoming diabetic because her urine smelled sweeter than usual, before she or her doctors thought to test for it. iirc they were getting intimate at the time, and presumably he waited til after to let her know. I recall it being a very bizarre news story to hear in the extremely prudish area I'm from, lol. Led me down a rabbit hole of "medical issues you wouldn't think you can smell but some people/animals can", which is a pretty neat rabbit hole imo haha

@universal_stupidity

2y↑8

@@blaireshoe8738 actually, one of the first flags of diabetes in most animals is sticky, sweet urine, which u can usually smell, so more people need to know this

@cocobutter3175

1y↑20

@@skippy.9865 So a diabetic with a yeast infection is a bar tap. Got it.

Sigh I have T1 diabetes, and still couldn't stop myself from making this joke. I'm both amused and disappointed with myself.

@NootalieWalf

37w↑4

@@cocobutter3175this is going to live rent free in my head forever… so thank you 🤣🤣🤣 A+ joke 😁

2 More Replies...

@musicalifornia49

2y↑337

The egyptians were really the most advanced society in human history. down to their pregnancy tests. it never ceases to amaze me what knowledge they had

@lizreszke6183

2y↑22

Same. After doing so much studying surrounding Ancient Egypt throughout my life and taking different history classes on it, it's beyond fascinating how advanced they were for the time they were in.

@mellie4174

really.... you think with all their slavery and other human rights abuses, surgery with out anesthesia and other physical tortures, you think that they are the most advanced in human history??? I think i'm glad you're not in charge of making policy decisions for the world...

@elisharoberts1029

2y↑2

Definitely my favorite era to study. I was so fascinated with so much of their medical learning and advancements in college. My favorite was learning that honey was used in wounds of patients and soldiers because it was antimicrobial and aided in healing...
In 2018 had a horrible cesarean recovery and went home open with a wound vac. They used honey on sterile dressings to help me heal. I was open from mid October to mid January and boy did it hurt, but the wound did close.

@jasminespencer2872

2y↑5

(I know someone is going to be annoyed for me bringing this up but this really came to mind)
Just imagine, on the same continent
People from there are viewed as being the least intelligent
There is no stupid race/ethnicity

@musicalifornia49

2y↑1

@@jasminespencer2872 agreed. however, some societies, often composed of many races, that are more advanced than others. in terms of architecture and the like.

@CGaboL

2y↑449

"I'm really happy that OBGYNs exist and that I don't have to be one of them"
-An ophthalmologist. Probably.

@cairrean2412

2y↑3

You mean an opthalmologist?

@CGaboL

2y↑25

@@cairrean2412 Yeah, fixed it.
I really went half-Spanish half-English there.

@glszq4

2y↑57

It’s a totally different kind of dilation!

@westzed23

2y↑1

😂😂😂😂

@kelly1827

2y↑2

@@glszq4 🤣🤣🤣

9 More Replies...

@LynHannan

2y↑153

My first child "told me" I was pregnant when she was 14 months old; she started fussing when on the boob, pulling off with a sour look on her face - she essentially finished weaning herself over a couple of weeks (during which time I became "morning" sick for the next 8 months). They're 17 and almost 19, now!

@mlroeder

2y↑31

My oldest son did that too! My boys are a year apart, so he was only ~5 months old, and I couldn't figure out why he wasn't nursing. He'd latch on, drink for a minute or so before letting go and screaming at us. It was pretty harrowing because he was so little. We'd supplemented with formula on occasion for convenience, so he ended up switching completely. They're 18 and 17 now, with my oldest finishing his first year of University next week, and my younger son graduating in two weeks, which is crazy!

@amberlinmchugh8115

2y↑23

Very interesting, I wonder why it tasted off. Nature's way of telling baby to grow up and move over, baby brother needs the boob. I'm intrigued

@LynHannan

2y↑17

@@amberlinmchugh8115 Actually, newborns can be breast-fed while an older baby/toddler is also still feeding (not at the same time, maybe), it just depends on Mum, older babe and newborn's circumstances and preferences. The breast is purely reactionary - a newborn's suckling is weaker and of shorter duration than an older babe's, so the "let down" or production alters accordingly. Men really don't give boobs the credit/treatment they deserve!

@twistedmind3323

43w↑1

Same, I did the same thing when my mom was pregnant with my younger brother.

@sharynkoren2054

37w↑1

My boys are 10 months 2 weeks apart!

@cristina.rod.98

2y↑103

Your signature phrase "take a pregnancy test" is like Dr. Mike's "chest compressions, chest compressions, chest compressions" 🤣🤣🤣

@Luubelaar

2y↑17

My husband doesn't watch much YouTube. He knows Dr Mike as "the chest compressions guy" and MDJ as the "if your vagina is sick, take it to a doctor" lady. 🤣

@Kekeliz

Right lol

@canid9073

2y↑374

I know male giraffes will taste female giraffe urine to get information on where they are in their hormonal cycle to see if they're receptive to breeding so the idea of tasting urine to get information on female bodies hormones isn't completely out there even if it sounds weird.

Luckily we have verbal language and OTC pregnancy tests so we don't need to go around drinking your partners urine.

@raraavis7782

2y↑56

When a mare is in heat, she will turn her behind towards a stallion (or sometimes random other horses, especially geldings) and squirt out a little urine. The stallion (and sometimes random other horses) will then do the 'fleming reflex'. A weird thing, were they stretch their necks out and up and draw back their upper lip as far as possible, sucking in as much air as possible.
Because they as well can smell the estrous specific hormones in the mares urine.
Animal's sense of smell is amazing. We can't even imagine the amount of information, they get about the world and each other just with their noses.

@lizreszke6183

2y↑16

@@raraavis7782 I really suggest people see videos of this. It's the strangest thing to see a stallion do. I saw a video of a stallion doing that before I knew what it was doing or why and i laughed at the way the face contorted.

@RedRoseSeptember22

2y↑25

I never knew that about giraffes, very smart!!! "Hmm...doesn't taste like you can get pregnant right now!" LOL.

@RedRoseSeptember22

2y↑2

@@lizreszke6183 Right? LOL

@memorycelle

2y↑5

@@lizreszke6183 Lol, this reminds me of the face my cat makes when he smells something interesting on the floor!

13 More Replies...

@SwearMY

2y↑465

How about a story on menopause myths, or surprising facts? I'm kind of disinclined to believe that labia minora can be reabsorbed by the body after menopause. (Yes, gynecologist told me that.)

@terriemoulton1084

2y↑49

What? That is absolutely nuts and we FOR SURE need an episode about that. That is NUTS.

@memorycelle

2y↑40

Not sure about reabsorbed? but it can definitely shrink and tissue outside and inside gets drier

@judymcgowan2881

2y↑15

Well yes it does. I am 71 and the labia minors on myself has shrank away to nothing !!! Just kept smaller and small after 50 .😪

@saschamayer4050

2y↑10

@@judymcgowan2881
What?! 😮
Never heard about that before.

@mellie4174

2y↑20

@@judymcgowan2881 holy shit i am officially terrified! I just turned 40. I am going to get hormonal replacement therapy till I die. I'm not doing menopause. period.

17 More Replies...

@ashtongray267

2y↑35

It's sooo refreshing to hear anatomically correct words used by someone without no second thought. They aren't dirty or hush hush. They are normal.

@ajb779

2y↑63

My grandmother used to tell me stories about the rabbit dying for the tests if it was positive.
She is very much against the anti abortion thoughts because of how many of her friends died from coat hanger abortions.
Fun facts don't play cards against humanity with old people, because they'll have stories to go with the cards.

@user-yw8sr3uj1w

41w↑1

Wow!

@chrissyscholl816

32w↑1

Yess. That game is way more fun with older people!

@47ratsinahoodie

2y↑110

I remember when my old history teacher was telling us about how doctors used to test for diabetes using urine iirc and when all of us looked disgusted, he went, "What? It's not like they're drinking it. They just taste and spit" I loved that teacher so much 🤣

@rizahawkeyepierce1380

Yeah, the urine of someone with diabetes will taste sweet because their body isn't producing enough insulin to deal with their blood sugar, so it gets expelled in the urine.

@Schadrach42

I mean yeah, and that taste makes perfect sense if you think about it - the body can dump excess sugar through urine. If sugar is chronically high, you develop extreme thirst, specifically so your body has more water to make more urine to dump more sugar. Because you're dumping sugar through your urine, it tastes sweet. Producing large amounts of sweet urine is literally where the name of the disease comes from - diabetes mellitus. The former being a Greek word meaning to siphon or pass through and the latter being a Latin word meaning sweet - what passes through you is sweet, it's very descriptive.

@rizahawkeyepierce1380

@@thegreatezazawalter if I recall correctly

@thegreatezazawalter

@@rizahawkeyepierce1380 oh ok thank you!!

@doodlesaurusrex2958

2y↑71

My grandmother worked for almost 50 years in the lab of a small town hospital. She used the "frog test" many times and even used that test to find out she was pregnant with my mom.

@jnolen74

2y↑84

I’ve been a medical lab tech for 26 years. One of the ladies that trained me in chemistry did the frog tests…in fact, part of the lab walk in fridge was designated for frog storage.

@lynnettebee182

2y↑1

Same here! We love to hear stories of the frog test

@rev.rachel

Wild!!

@kaitlinlewis2450

2y↑177

PLEASE DO MORE HISTORICAL OBGYN PLEASE! I remember coming across a book on pregnancy In The Wild West and one of the things I was able to find out from the BOOK was that Women Divorce their Husband to not get Pregnant. Please do a Video with Abby Cox or Nicole Rudolph on Pregnancy Corsets because if Women are using some kind of type to help Support them than why not bring back something that will also hide the pregnancy bump.

@westzed23

2y↑4

GREAT suggestions!

@littlemissmel88

2y↑4

That would be amazing! Please see this Mama Doctor Jones!

@melissazabower339

2y↑110

One of my favorite classic movies is "People Will Talk" starring Cary Grant and Jeanne Craine. The premise: he's a gyn with a progressive practice (for 1946) that treats the whole patient rather than just her symptoms. She's a college student that thinks she might be pregnant by a short-lived romance with a sailor. She goes to his clinic, claiming to be Mrs. So&so (1946), and he happily tells her the frog is pregnant. She tries to .... do bad things to herself while walking out of his clinic, he saves her, and when she wakes up he LIES and tells her it was the Wrong Frog. But now he's in trouble b/c, ya know, he LIED, so he drives out to the farm where she lives with a nasty uncle and her inept father. Dr. feels bad and instead if telling the Truth, asks her to marry him. *face palm

A couple weeks later she realizes she really is pregnant, and she says, "I think December." "September." "No, dear, December." "September." "Well unless they've changed how long it takes or came up with a new way to count, I say December." "They haven't changed anything. You're just not starting back far enough." They proceed to have an argument -- you married me b/c you felt sorry for me, Yada Yada. And then: "You came out to the farm to tell me the truth, didn't you, but by then you'd already told that lie about the Wrong Frog...."

It all ends well, but I wouldn't use that movie in an ethics class! 😂 just thought of it when you were talking about the frogs.

@meldlew

2y↑12

Omg where can we watch this movie?!?!

@melissazabower339

2y↑5

@@meldlew pretty sure I've watched it on YouTube sometime in the past few years. People Will Talk

@murderkitten

2y↑98

Five years ago, after having sex with a person who could have theoretically gotten me pregnant and not having had a period in nearly two years due to expected early menopause. A couple weeks later, I started getting really nauseous in the mornings and my breasts became tender, so I did the reasonable thing and took a pregnancy test. And then a second one because the first one showed the faintest of pale pink lines. So did the second. I went and got a proper pregnancy test through my doctor's office, who confirmed that I was indeed post-menopausal and not pregnant.

@shawpaperiekas600

2y↑49

Holy heck! That’s just a trip to the ER right there! “Um… I couldn’t afford a pregnancy test so… I put an onion up there. It’s stuck.” 🤦🏻‍♀️

@scampbaltofan1

2y↑2

But think of the story that nurse would tell 😂

@Michelle020892

42w

An onion maybe a first for some, but I guarantee ER nurses have seen lots of things stuck in there. The sight and the smells forever burned into their brains.

@MelB868

21w

What? Gross

@indigocarter2900

2y↑42

i'd love to see you have a conversation/interview with Rachael the Try Guys Producer. She survived breast cancer and then had twins. I'd love for you to talk about how cancer influences fertility and breast feeding

@playwright82

2y↑150

I only learned the euphemism "the rabbit died" about 12 years ago. I had a pet rabbit and she died while I was away at college. My mom told my best friend that "the rabbit died" and my friend asked, "Who's pregnant?" I was confused when mom told me the story. She had to explain what it meant. A couple of years after that, I watched the M*A*S*H episode where the head nurse, Major Houlihan, thought she was pregnant so the doctors used Radar's rabbit to test. So that they didn't unalive the bunny, they just spayed it. The test was negative.

@trillium.3.24

2y↑11

That episode was the first thing that came to my mind as well! There is also the song "Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith that mentions something about "you can't catch me cuz the rabbit done died" that also came to mind.

@Comptonisa

2y↑2

I don't get it

@SwearMY

2y↑15

@@Comptonisa "The rabbit died" is a phrase used to indicate a woman is pregnant. It's related to the rabbit test for pregnancy. A rabbit is injected with a woman's urine. The rabbit is then dissected after a certain about of time to examine the rabbit's ovaries to see if they enlarged and matured. A common misconception is that the rabbit only died if the woman was pregnant.

@Comptonisa

2y↑3

That's animal cruelty if u ask me.

@xSwordLilyx

2y↑2

@@SwearMY I'm thinking spaying is better than dissection 💀

4 More Replies...

@andreag8508

2y↑29

I'm a frog biologist and I use that info all the time, highschool students love it. when I was doing IVF during my research the frogs and I were getting the same hormones. The use of frogs for pregnancy testing has caused some huge ecological problems as lab frogs were moved around the world to labs moving disease etc.

@MySkipping

2y↑1

Best job title I’ve ever heard.

@Hufflepuff_cookie

2y↑180

Imagine someone doing the frog test being like
"Ok, it's been 13 hours, you're' not pregnant"
Goes about daily life
Has baby
"But you said I wasn't pregnant!"
"Oh, sorry madam, it turns out the frog we used was male, and therefore could not lay eggs."
Jokes aside, this was a very interesting and informative video, and I am glad that you enjoy looking this stuff up. THANKS MDJ!!

@gnarthdarkanen7464

2y↑15

Kinda too bad Mike Rowe wasn't around before the 60's... The "Frog Sexer" job would've been hilarious to watch, I'm sure! ;o)

@RedRoseSeptember22

2y↑3

@@gnarthdarkanen7464 Love Mike Rowe lol :D

@gnarthdarkanen7464

@@RedRoseSeptember22 🤪

@nleem3361

2y↑4

I wonder how many days they needed to wait in-between test for the frog to have new eggs to produce. It seems like it wasn't something a frog could do daily, plus that would be a ton of shots. Ouch

@gnarthdarkanen7464

@@nleem3361 It would take some research into what exact species they preferred to use and then... likely as not... The whole reason we'd know things like gestation period and how regularly they "CAN" mate and produce offspring would be from the research, development, and eventual practice of these pregnancy tests...

If you wanted a figure off the top of my head... Since frogs tend to have a specifically short mating season, like some 3 to 6 weeks out of a year, and nature tends to prioritize recovery before other processes, I'd hazard a test could be feasibly administered 2 or maybe 3 times yearly per frog... giving us about 3 to 4 months minimum for the frog to get enough nutrition and time to recover and start developing a fresh clutch of eggs for the next cycle...

BUT that's just an educated speculation, nothing particularly concrete. ;o)

2 More Replies...

@oreotookie

2y↑57

10:25 My mom said that every time she got pregnant, her vision improved. Being incredibly skeptical (she believes a lot of weird stuff), I didn’t believe her.

When I had my first kid, my optometrist kept checking my eyes and referring back to my chart. I finally asked her what was going on. She replied “You’re vision has improved! That doesn’t make sense.” I laughed and told her about my mom. Sure enough, when second kiddo came along… yet another improvement. My eyes haven’t changed since I had my first kid 15 years ago except to get better. She joked that if I had another 10 kids, I’d have perfect vision. Nope. HARD PASS!

@sthomson06

2y↑9

My husband researches eyes and he told me that vision changes are really common during/after pregnancy. Hormones are so much more influential than many of us realize. Unfortunately my vision got worse!

@lemonnlimepie9469

2y↑6

Hahah mine got soooo much worse with both pregnancy’s. It was one of the signs I knew I was pregnant.

@memyselfi2005

1y↑3

That’s interesting! I’ve always heard pregnancy can worsen vision, hadn’t heard of it getting better. Cool side effect!

@taiakai

2y↑86

Uromancy would be pronounced "euro-man-see", following the same pronunciation pattern of necromancy. If I recall correctly, "mancy" is a Greek suffix that essentially means performing magic. The prefix "uro" or "necro" refer to the area of magic they're practicing.

@saschamayer4050

2y↑10

Pee-magic?
🚽🧙‍♂️💫🚾🎉

@justaperson4656

2y↑10

@@saschamayer4050 exactly! Cartomancy is card magic, like tarot cards (although I kinda wish card trick magicians were included) and I always get it mixed up with cartography (maps, map reading, and map making)

@rev.rachel

Correct!

@bearo8

2y↑37

Hi,
And greetings from Germany. That really long word at the beginning of the title of this paper is the name of a hormone. Most Germans would struggle with this word while reading out loud as well.
Anyway, I love history and this topic is amazing.
I would be interested in more historical women topics. How women handled period pains or how fertility problems were dealt with. STDs are also interesting in a historical context.

@brandibateman8372

2y↑13

"The vagina is not a vegetable garden" put that on a t-shirt

@carriem4596

2y↑7

I actually started taking a pregnancy test monthly on the first day of my cycle because of this channel. My husband and I were not trying to have a baby but I ended up pregnant. I scheduled an appointment with my gyno and she was asking questions, when was your last period, were you trying to have a baby... then was super confused when I told her that I was not trying. I had to confess that I started testing because I was watching your reaction videos to "I didn't know I was pregnant" show.

@KyteSpringer

2y↑31

My grandma worked in a hospital lab when she was young and would tell us stories of injecting animals, mainly rabbits, with urine to perform pregnancy tests. Always blew my mind.

@ERYN__

2y↑54

I recently watched Look who's talking. It was made in 1990 and it includes a home pregnancy test. I was born in 91 and was curious what the test my mom used was like. She didn't use one! She just knew, didn't want to spend $15 on a home test, so she just went to the doctor.

@wendymoyer782

2y↑12

That was me. Didn't want to waste time and money on a test, so I just went to ky doctor. It was early in the pregnancy...I was like a week late. But I knew, and the test agreed.

@summermazur3064

2y↑8

I love "Look Who's Talking"! I, too, have often wondered about the pregnancy test Molly uses in the movie. It's definitely not the modern pee-on-a-stick kind. She uses a dropper of blue liquid of some sort?

@ERYN__

2y↑8

@@summermazur3064 yeah. She has a whole glass vile set up.

I watched the original Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High shows, and the Twin's (can't remember which one it was) having a 2 hour test! I will gladly take the 2 minute tests of today. Even dip strips.

@ERYN__

2y↑5

I like having the intimacy/privacy of the couple being able to find out in the privacy of their home to have whatever reaction comes naturally.

@marianking3773

2y↑4

I took one once, it involved putting some urine in a test tube and adding drops of a reactant swirling the mixture for a few seconds then placing it in a holder that came with the kit. There was a mirror set at an angle and an area that light shone through. If after two hours a circle was viewed on the area projected toward you were pregnant. The setup could not be moved or disturbed at all during the two hours or the “reading” or the test was not valid. There was a minimum time after last menstrual period (how late you were) for it to be valid. I think you had to be at least ten days late. If it was negative you were instructed to take another test 2-4 days later to allow hcg levels to increase, or menses to occur; or go to MD for blood test especially if you had pain in ovarian area.

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@carag2567

2y↑52

This is as head-scratchingly fascinating as 15th century witch tests.

@Noel.Chmielowiec

2y↑16

My uncle was a walking pregnancy test. He just looked at someone and said 'you are pregnant with a girl' and she was. He did this several times and knew before my mum that she's pregnant with me. In fact he told her to do a test, because the OBGYN thought that she has cyst. And he, the same day told her 'no way, you're just early pregnant, do a test' and here I am. To this day we are wondering how on earth he did that.

@drgw04

22w↑1

My grandpa was the same. When my parents told my grandparents they were expecting my sister Grandma said Grandpa told her he suspected as much.

@MelB868

21w

Once my niece asked me if I was pregnant when she was younger I'm not and wasn't I was just fat and still am I lost some weight since then though

@kassandragoldstein4661

2y↑71

I’m laughing, I’m only to the onion one but when she was talking about increased blood flow, it reminded me of my doctors appointment I had when I got pregnant this time and my Nurse Practitioner had someone training with her and since they had just finished a Pap smear, my NP showed her student the place in my uterus that you could feel my pulse transvaginally. She said it could only be felt that way when someone was pregnant. It just made me think of it and it was awkward and I wanted to share 😅

@catinabox3048

2y↑11

Interesting. I wonder if the pulse could be felt during sex. That could be an interesting pregnancy test.

@JessieI

2y↑4

My first three babies were born at U***, a teaching hospital. I was actually ok with medical students, interns, “short coats” learning on me. Everyone begins learning somewhere and if I can be part of the process that builds good doctors, nurses, then yeah, easy call. As a Veteran I still am part of that. My VA Hospital is connected to the same University and Hospital. I do laugh though when I think about those first VA Hospital Appointments in the early ‘80s, as a female Veteran I was a bit of an anomaly. I went in unDXed abdominal pain one evening, My exam room had a nurse, a resident, suddenly 2 doctors, then 5, then I was moved to a larger exam room 🤣🤣🤣. I said to the nurse, what did he do, put out a bulletin? The VA never did DX that abdominal pain and it happened several more times. We have an idea now though. I had an ovarian cyst removed last November, it was larger than my uterus!! So freaking glad THAT ONE DIDN’T RUPTURE!!!

@JessieI

@@catinabox3048, she said the pulse was felt in her uterus, so no.

@flowingafterglow629

2y↑221

OK, how did that test with the rat/rabbit turn into "the rabbit died" as the stand-in for a positive pregnancy test?

My wife had a really reliable pregnancy test. Car sickness.

After our experience with our first, I knew she was pregnant with our 2nd when she started complaining about car sickness again.

@MamaDoctorJones

2y↑80

I’m not sure - because all the rabbits died whether you were pregnant or not 😆

@RedRoseSeptember22

2y↑22

LOL I remember an older doctor joking with me when he did a pregnancy test and said "Well, the rabbit didn't die." LMFAO.

@RedRoseSeptember22

2y↑3

@@betht275 Wow o.o

@wecantbefriends1660

iirc it was sarcasm. I could be wrong though.

@terriemoulton1084

Apparently no one knows. I've looked into this before and I could never find anything. People just assumed that the pregnant urine killed the rabbit and that's how they knew the test was positive. I guess people didn't want to think about rabbits being cut open. (I understand, I don't want to think about that either)
Maybe "the rabbit died" is a very dramatic way to get around censors and not say the word "pregnant" on tv?

8 More Replies...

@nothankyewpls

2y↑11

I love so much that MDJ used the word "unalived". Honestly you are my hero.

@mandigurl2341

2y↑110

I am so grateful for pregnancy tests. I had been tracking my ovulation and swore I already ovulated and missed my fertile window. So, I continued my life like I was good for the rest of the month and only had unprotected sex once. A week before my missed period my boobs hurt but that wasn't unusual. Something told me to take a test even though I had no symptoms (and wouldn't for well over a month). Low and behold I was pregnant. I was able to stop drinking and vaping and take my prenatal vitamins again. This baby is very wanted and planned, she was just made in a gap month. Tomorrow I'll be 35 weeks 😊

@RedRoseSeptember22

2y↑12

Aww congratulations Mandy!!! Do you have name picked out yet for your little angel?

@mandigurl2341

2y↑10

@@RedRoseSeptember22 yes, but I'm not sharing it yet. Literally just changed my mind on it last week haha

@AdmiringObserverR

2y↑3

what is a gap month?

@mienafriggstad3360

2y↑5

Congratulations!

@sisuguillam5109

2y↑4

Congrats!

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@ingrydjorgensen8110

2y↑20

Imagine worrying that you’re pregnant and having to wait for plants to grow

@Kait2478

I just started gardening this year and you'd be surprised how fast a bunch of seeds germinate!

@kfletchhh3109

2y↑86

The things humans come up with for pregnancy is hilarious

@nminodob

2y↑7

I'm a gay man and I have no desire to father (or mother) a child. But I am addicted to your videos! You fight the good fight daily and I love watching it! Big, big fan here!

@KatieSalley

2y↑52

This reminds me of when i was a teenager and we found a baby bunny on our front porch. We called the local wild animal rescue but they couldn't do anything and the bunny died. My mom was talking to my aunt and told her "the bunny died" and my aunt says "omg who's pregnant!??". Took my mom awhile to stop laughing so she could explain to me the connection between a rabbit dying and possible teenage pregnancy 😂

@Aufeii

2y↑2

im curious what is the connection? or is it just about the rodent ovary thing (I am assuming not since you're specifying teen pregnancy)?

@SwearMY

2y↑12

@@Aufeii "The rabbit died" is a phrase used to indicate a woman is pregnant. It's related to the rabbit test for pregnancy. A rabbit is injected with a woman's urine. The rabbit is then dissected after a certain about of time to examine the rabbit's ovaries to see if they enlarged and matured. A common misconception is that the rabbit only died if the woman was pregnant.

@Tegdirb64

2y↑39

I was named after a friend of my mother's who worked in a lab. I was born in 1964.
Once I was older, my mother explained that Bridget did pregnancy testing using frogs!
I was today years old when I found out how Bridget did this! I'd always wondered...

@ozarkldy8117

1y↑2

I was today years old when I desperately began wishing my mom was still here so I could ask if she got the frog test in 1967 when I was conceived! 😀

@carschmn

2y↑10

Mad props to Chadwick for giving credit to his predecessor.

@anura_games

2y↑24

I had actually been wondering about how pregnancy tests came about, you read my mind! 😂

I didn't get very far into my personal research of them so this video is just what I was needing, thanks!

@246kisses

2y↑17

Can I say how happy I am to be living in this time where we have medical technology and indoor plumbing?

@larafiolic3544

2y↑5

I just wanted to comment how kind it was to compliment a thesis paper, so wholesome ❤️!

@midoriya-shonen

2y↑4

I'm fangirling!!! I've been curious about your take on the grain test for so long, and today is the day! Thank you!

@aculady1

2y↑9

The early home pregnancy tests were in use when I was having kids (early to mid-1980s). They felt like I was doing a science experiment. Put so many drops of first-morning urine into a small test tube, and place it on a stand that had a mirror under it. I think I had to wait a couple of hours and if a dark brown ring formed in the bottom of the test tube, it was positive.

@catinabox3048

2y↑19

In China, people just used a pulse to detect pregnancy. You have to have training and experience in TCM to be able to do so accurately though, so it's not something people can just do at home. I think you also have to be several months along for the results to be accurate, which kinda defeats the purpose of having a pregnancy test to begin with.

@eliswiat

2y↑1

Funny thing is I always knew I am pregnant before my period was expected because my pulse was high, around 90-100bpm. Every time!

@jennagrabowski293

2y↑3

Could you make a video about how to deal with invasive exams or intimate exams in general for people who have PTSD? I know how important these types of tests are but can't get over the anxiety it causes, I love you and your videos and would love to hear your suggestions for these issues

@chocolatereigns

2y↑9

The pictures of the test my parents used to find out they were expecting my brother in 1987 blow my mind. It was like a chemistry set!

@TwistedStitchesShow

30w

Ah yes I took that kind of test late 87 to find out I was pregnant with my son. It took over an hour to get the results lol.

@Absbabs88

2y↑10

I think it's also worth mentioning that if you take a pregnancy test and it comes out positive, but there's no possible way you could be pregnant (for example, I haven't had sex in like 5 years) than it could actually be an indication of cancer. I've also heard that it works to detect testicular cancer.

@animeluchia5405

14w

Or it means you ate poppy seeds. Myth busters actually did that once, the guys ate poppy seeds and peed on a pregnancy test and it came back positive. All of them were cis, so very clearly that wasn’t possible. Not sure if that’s something that happens with modern pee sticks or not, as it’s been a long while since that episode, but still…
At least… I’m pretty sure that was the episode… it was quite a long time ago…

@Damita-ye2yl

2y↑13

This reminds me of that senator who thought you could swallow a pill sized camera to see the baby in the womb.

@tiffanymichaels2429

2y↑1

Are you serious?! 😂😂😂 When was that?

@lauraelliott6909

2y↑2

OMG, the thought of everything I eat and drink going through my uterus is kinda revolting.

@westzed23

2y↑1

That's news to me. He really thought that!

@DivisibleByWaffle

2y↑4

I'm a clinical lab scientist who is working on specializing in clinical chemistry. This was a wild watch - thank you!

@MsGummy666

2y↑6

So I was 2 days late last week and thought of your advice. Went and bought a test came home and took it and it was negative. Like five minutes later my period came. Thanks universe for scaring me and then laughing about it.

@bluelagoon1980

1y↑1

That has literally happened to me twice in the last year.

@memyselfi2005

I don’t know how many times I’ve taken a test and started my period hours or a day after, this was in the old days when I used to have sex 😅best to get ahead of things and know what’s what though.

@ShoalBear

2y↑27

Ummmm...personally, I get offended when the ER insists on a pregnancy test before an xray, and charge me for it, when I am post hysterectomy and bilateral oomphorectomy. And am abstinent. Pretty sure I am NOT pregnant.

@gigglesmurf2004

2y↑5

That is ridiculous. There is no medical basis for that charge. I would fight it.

@jadecoolness101

Yeah but women are incubators so we have to pay extra charges 🙃 We're just too stupid to know better 🙃🙃🙃

@lesliesteele3926

2y↑6

Agreed ... fight those charges, insist they actually read your chart and take a verbal medical history to compare. That's bananas...

@jasminespencer2872

2y↑1

Is there a possibilty to go buy a test and take it there?
Would that be cheaper?

@mlroeder

2y↑3

Tl:dr, I totally get where you're coming from, but I understand their reasoning as well.

The ER probably doesn't have access to your medical record right when you get there, and some of the treatments they use could be dangerous if used on someone who's pregnant. I'm sure that you yourself are a reliable source of information, but they can't tell someone has had a hysterectomy by looking at them, and I'm also sure they get patients all the time who swear they couldn't possibly be pregnant and turn out to be pregnant after all, so their policy is to test every time. I'm in a similar situation - my husband had a vasectomy years ago, and I'm on my third hormonal IUD, but they check anytime I need imagining done, which has been a lot recently, as I've ended up in the ER twice in the last 7 months. I've had an MRI, three CT scans, and an EEG within a four month period. (A seizure, my first and hopefully only, and a large kidney stone.)

I've also been one of the ones who was sure they weren't pregnant, though at a doctor's office, not the ER. After all, I was there because I was having an extra hard period which had lasted ~2 weeks. Nope, turns out that I was about 5 weeks pregnant and my oldest originally had a twin that wasn't viable and I was having a partial miscarriage. My son's totally fine, and will finish his first year of university next week, but the hours between getting that news and having that first ultrasound was horrible.

7 More Replies...

@Annie5825

2y↑2

This really needs a part two! How did we get from frogs to pee sticks? How long have pee sticks been around for? How reliable are they? Please give us the history leading up to 1978 and through any interesting modern developments.

@turtleneck8352

2y↑14

What I remember from the video..

Prego Pee Makes Plants GROW 🌱

@nothankyewpls

2y↑4

This is so interesting! I can't imagine how ancient (or not so) people even game up with these outrageous tests!

@asyoz

2y↑4

This is awesome!!
I LOVE the history of Medicine!!
Next, could you please do historical gynaecology tools and instruments??? :)
OK, I'm off to read Claire McEwen Duncan's thesis :D

@roseannepace508

31w

Thank you for always being exclusive. You tend to work that in, even just chosing your wording. Good for you and ty again.

@reginabillotti

2y↑10

I have heard of tasting urine to diagnose what is now known as diabetes, but I have never heard of it in any other contexts.

@henkbarnard1553

I have heard of that too, for diabetes.

@AJ-qe5xj

2y↑4

I mean we kinda use “uromancy/urine wheels” as a initial diagnosis today. The first step in determining a UTI is often an examination of the appearance of urine, including color, consistency (visible skin cells, blood globs, white clumps, etc) and cloudiness. I’ not sure if pregnancy urine is at all distinguishable but even today in medicine we can use the smell (sweet could mean diabetic, UTI’s can have a scent to it, etc).

@melissaweatherford3851

2y↑37

Sorry, have to correct: Pah-Pie-Rus. Otherwise, such fascinating history! So glad we have the easy modern tests.

@eolhinforest7736

2y↑5

Oh, thank you! I was going to post that if no one else did. :)

@juliethomas1143

2y↑2

MDJ, I LOVE your videos. However, as a woman of a certain age, I would really appreciate more content regarding menopause. And endometriosis, and adenomyosis, and how they are diagnosed and treated. Thank you for all you do.

@kristinreynolds577

This is definitely one of my favorite videos! I love how excited you get when your talking about this stuff!! You’d be such a great professor! You’re students would actually go to class because of how fun and entertaining you are! Much love from back home in the states! 💗💗💗

@2BOLD4U

2y↑4

I like how James Read Chadwick gave Etienne Joseph Jacquemin credit for his idea and Chadwick was the one who became well-known for it. How many times in history that someone profited from an idea/ invention that wasn't theirs?

@westzed23

2y↑3

But Chadwick did tell everyone that it was from Jacquemin. There are those that do take full credit for other's ideas.

@2BOLD4U

2y↑1

@@westzed23 That's what I meant. I like that Chadwick gave credit to Jacquemin.

@whitneywujkoayala8613

2y↑11

You had me at the “take a pregnancy test” montage lol I guess I’ll go take a pregnancy test

@yasmindarette

I recently discovered your chanel and I’ve been binging sooo much!! I’m a first year med student and your content is extremely entertaining and educational at the same time! Thanks for being such an inspiration💜

@wadly312

This is officially my favourite video you have ever done. Bravo.

@janellemiller1195

2y↑3

Absolutely fascinating. I really enjoyed this.

@nancyreid8729

2y↑23

By the way, ammonia is a fertilizer. Also, a homonym/spelling oops (okay, I admit I’m a compulsive proofreader), it’s “bear” in this case, not “bare.”

@hope8522

2y↑2

Yes, but too much ammonia kills the plant.

@MyChubbyChecker

2y↑1

and human urine doesn't really contain ammonia. It's mostly uric acid, urea and ammonium salts. If you let urine ferment, then you do get ammonia.

@sngray11

This was fascinating and I learned a lot. Thank you for taking the time to research and educate all of us on such a fascinating topic.

@josie1375

2y↑1

I completely agree with thinking eyes are gross. I’m in nursing school right now, and I don’t think anything has made my skin crawl more than listening to descriptions of eye injuries (except maybe learning about 3rd and 4th degree burns). Thank goodness for specialist.

@paolagrando5079

2y↑10

"Piss prophets" sounds what Brits would call drunk men in pubs that are very chatty but say silly things 😹

@ozarkldy8117

1y↑1

Lol!! I immediately reverted to being a kid and giggled through that part!

@bridgetarndt1302

2y↑10

This video was so worth the wait... history is wild 🤦‍♀️

@elibella5660

Very interesting video! Thank you for all the research that you put into this, and sharing it all with us 💜

@darlouthia5153

What a ride !! Thanks for the very well presented and fascinating information !

@kathrynanne6332

2y↑18

Do you think maybe those ancient urine drinkers could actually taste the hormone inside pregnant urine? People might think "No way they could taste the difference" but it's not like we know from experience. Maybe it does taste different. 🤣

@MsMelissaAnn

2y↑17

Chinese medicine also had an interesting way, checking pulses. It's proven very unreliable, but it's featured a lot in Qing Dynasty dramas such as Ruyi's Royal love and YangXi Palace.

@catinabox3048

It works but requires a skilled doctor and you need to be several months pregnant at least.

@Makjaoiuewhxkjs

2y↑1

After watching like 3 Chinese dramas I started to think they used checking pulses for any possible illnesses/ alignments. And that there was no way for it t be very reliable. :D

@MsMelissaAnn

2y↑2

@@catinabox3048 a Dr in china asked Drs of Chinese medicine to prove it with 100% accuracy, none could.

@katrinaskidmore9443

I loved this video! Just to reaffirm after watching your Johnny Harris video. Thanks for making it!

@saralouisehowells1766

I was so excited to see some art history brought up in the video. I used to teach medical humanities to nurses and pre-med students. I used these types of artworks to show how medicine has changed over time and through art. I have a deep love for medieval anatomy texts!
The little person inside the vial is called a homunculus.

@DraconesMori

2y↑4

So the ancient pregnancy test by peeing on grain made me check something out, when you mentioned hormones might be part of it.
There is a rooting hormone thats commonly used to make cuttings root faster. This powder often has indole-3-acetic acid in it. Which seems to be some sort of leftover from serotonin, and melantonin.
With both we know it lightens your mood, makes you feel happier.
So usually pregnant women are discribed as happier, brighter facial expression. People always claim they can tell if a woman is pregnant by the way she smiles.
So maybe a pregnant women produces more serotonin and/or melantonin and thus produces more indole-3-acetic acid. So when she pees on the grain she has more of the "rooting" hormone in her urine.
It might actually make sense on a scientific level.

@catc8927

2y↑1

So I had to follow up this great lead, and found a paper from 2018, “The dynamic serotonin system of the maternal brain.” Apparently pregnant women in the 2nd trimester and beyond have more serotonin metabolites (breakdown products) in their cerebrospinal fluid. It would make sense for lots of serotonin metabolites to be in their urine too. I think you’ve solved this mystery!

@EleanorCasson

2y↑4

If you find yourself in London, the wellcome groups medical museum is fascinating. Totally worth a visit.

@westzed23

That sounds like a very interesting museum. I'll put it on my list to go to if/when I get to London.

@carag2567

2y↑2

Your community post was correct. This IS the greatest video you've ever uploaded 🤣👏

@sentientsquid7069

This was a really cool video! Thanks for all the work that went into it, MDJ!

@xSwordLilyx

2y↑5

I came into my doctor on my period, they did a pregnancy test. I was like yeah okay. I guess it could not be my period maybe

@alicialittlejohn6542

2y↑7

“Please don’t put onions in the vagina”

@alexdavis5766

2y↑1

Love a MDJ video, always interesting and educational- the best kind of video!

@kristiturner1102

This was fascinating!!! Thanks for the interesting video! I can only imagine the rabbit holes you must have gone down researching this one.

@jennyf3183

2y↑11

I’ve been watching “The Great” on Hulu and they have the queen peeing on wheat to test for pregnancy and also *spoiler alert 🚨 putting a frog on her stomach during her pregnancy to make sure the baby is alive and well. Love this video! ❤️ can’t believe they didn’t have tests until the 70s!!? 🤯

@cindywagner6950

home test. the doctor had test before. the home test were like $15 for one or $25 for a box with 2 in 1985.

@LikesLimes

31w

Also funny how it was hard to hide the results of the wheat test because the grass is just out there, growing…

@Supvia

2y↑6

When my mom was pregnant with me (forth child), she showed the doctor her NFP / temperature charts and he told her, she couldn’t be pregnant. However, my mom insisted on him testing her and here I am.

She never took a test, she just knew from her symptoms and went to the doctor, because paying for a test herself was to expensive.

@lesliesteele3926

2y↑1

My mom knew she was pregnant with me, I'm a third child ...not her first rodeo. But ... they didn't believe her because she was 39. Constant nope nope nope. Even refused to test her formally, then she got a new doctor. Here I am. Lol.