The Poxy Boggards are a Pasadena-based folk band, founded in 1994 at the So… Read Full Bio ↴The Poxy Boggards are a Pasadena-based folk band, founded in 1994 at the Southern CA Renaissance Pleasure Faire. Since this time, they have achieved success in the re-burgeoning of the Irish-folk movement, playing with bands such as the Fenians. Currently comprised of 14 members, all of them singers and most of them instrumentalists, the Poxy Boggards have a richly layered sound.

The Ballad of Onan
The Poxy Boggards Lyrics

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There are heroes in the bible
That many think are great
There's Samson, David, and Noah
And others touched by Fate
But there's one man in the bible
Whose story makes me sigh
He's Onan and he's my hero
Let me tell you why

Well God he said to Onan
"You need to have a son
There are many Jews I talk to
But you're my favorite one"
So Onan picked his wife up
On the bed he laid her down
But instead of giving her his seed
He spilled it on the ground

Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool

Well God he said to Onan
"You need to build an Ark
There's too much sinning in this world
It needs a brand new start"
But Onan stopped his building
When it began to rain
He said "Screw this whole boat building
I'll go home and pull my chain"

Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool

Well God he said to Onan,
"You need to free the Jews
So go and tell old Pharaoh
It's my will he must choose"
But when Onan met the Pharaoh
He ignored what Yahweh said
And pulled out the wrong staff
And chose to free his own seed instead

Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool

Well God he said to Onan,
"I'll give you one more try
There's a big man named Goliath
And I think he needs to die"
When Onan saw Goliath
These are the words he spoke
"I think I'll beat a neat retreat
And my chicken I will choke"

Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool

Onan, Onan in a rut
Watch him whilst he busts a nut

Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool

One stroke up
One stroke down
Cum like Onan on the ground

Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate

His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool

Overall Meaning

The Ballad of Onan by The Poxy Boggards is a humorous take on the story of Onan from the Bible. Onan is a lesser-known hero from the Bible who was tasked by God to have a son but instead of fulfilling his duty, he spilled his seed on the ground. This act of disobedience led to his punishment and death. The song describes Onan as the singer’s hero, not because of his disobedience but because of his love for masturbation. The song goes on to tell how God gave Onan other tasks like building an ark, freeing the Jews, and defeating Goliath, but Onan chose to masturbate instead of completing them. The lyrics are meant to be humorous and irreverent.

Line by Line Meaning

There are heroes in the bible That many think are great
The Bible has many stories of heroic individuals.

There's Samson, David, and Noah And others touched by Fate
Many stories of the Bible have protagonists like Samson, David or Noah.

But there's one man in the bible Whose story makes me sigh He's Onan and he's my hero Let me tell you why
The singer considers Onan a hero and wants to explain why.

Well God he said to Onan "You need to have a son There are many Jews I talk to But you're my favorite one"
God asked Onan to have a son.

So Onan picked his wife up On the bed he laid her down But instead of giving her his seed He spilled it on the ground
Onan refused to impregnate his wife.

Onan, my God that man was great Onan, he loved to masturbate His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel Onan, he tended to his tool
Onan is being celebrated for masturbating instead of having sex with his wife.

Well God he said to Onan "You need to build an Ark There's too much sinning in this world It needs a brand new start"
God asked Onan to build an ark.

But Onan stopped his building When it began to rain He said "Screw this whole boat building I'll go home and pull my chain"
Onan refused to build the ark and preferred to go home and masturbate.

Well God he said to Onan, "You need to free the Jews So go and tell old Pharaoh It's my will he must choose"
God asked Onan to free the Jews.

But when Onan met the Pharaoh He ignored what Yahweh said And pulled out the wrong staff And chose to free his own seed instead
Onan did not follow God's command to free the Jews.

Well God he said to Onan, "I'll give you one more try There's a big man named Goliath And I think he needs to die"
God asked Onan to kill Goliath.

When Onan saw Goliath These are the words he spoke "I think I'll beat a neat retreat And my chicken I will choke"
Onan refused to fight Goliath.

Onan, Onan in a rut Watch him whilst he busts a nut
Onan is stuck in a pattern of behavior.

One stroke up One stroke down Cum like Onan on the ground
The song continues to celebrate Onan's masturbation.

Writer(s): Bill Roper

Contributed by Evan P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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