The Night Before Christmas
The Robertsons Lyrics

Now the night before Christmas, I was sitting in my house
It was Christmas Eve and I was inside my home.

And there wasn't nothing moving around, not even a mouse.
It was very quiet, and nothing was stirring.

The socks were hung by the fireplace to dry,
My socks were hanging by the fireplace because they were wet.

In hopes that old Santa Clause would bring me some pie
I was hoping that Santa would bring me some pie.

My children are grown, so nobody's in bed
My children are grown, so they aren't sleeping in their beds.

And I got the sound of duck calls stuck in my head.
I keep hearing the sound of duck calls in my mind.

Mama's in her gown, and I got on my cap,
My wife is wearing her nightgown, and I'm wearing my cap.

And I ain't tired, cause I took a three hour nap.
I'm not tired because I took a nap earlier.

When all of a sudden, I heard a big crash
Suddenly, I heard a loud noise.

I figured it was some coon, diggin' in the trash
I assumed it was a raccoon digging through the garbage.

I went to the window, and slipped on my shoes
I went to the window and put on my shoes.

Cause I don't like critters, snooping around in my refuge
I don't like animals sneaking around my house.

Now the moon was bright, and there was no sight of snow
The moon was shining, but there was no snow on the ground.

And hey, I have the eyes of an eagle, just so you know.
I have very sharp eyes, in case you didn't know.

When all of a sudden, what seemed to appear,
Suddenly, something appeared before me.

Was a tiny little tree stand, and whole lot of deer. Hmm
I saw a small tree stand with many deer around it.

I knew I had seen him, he was acting very silly
I knew I had seen someone, and he was acting foolishly.

And I was convinced, it could only be Willy
I was certain that it was Willy.

Now he was yelling and screaming, calling out names
Willy was shouting and calling out names.

And those deer started moving, and all those suckers came!
The deer began to move, and all of them came to Willy.

Now I thought he said "Hey, Dasher, hey Prancer, and Spitzer
I think he said 'Hey, Dasher, hey Prancer, and Spitzer.'

Maybe Comet, something about Cupid, Donner and Wolf Blitzer
He might have mentioned 'Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Wolf Blitzer.'

Let's head to the roof, from there they would spring
Willy suggested they go to the roof to jump off.

These deers had magical powers, and all of them had wings
According to Willy, these deer had magical powers and wings.

Now I took off my glasses, cause this was too weird
I removed my glasses because this was too unusual.

Big bucks turned into ducks, is what seemed to appear
The big deer turned into ducks, at least, that's what I saw.

Hey they circled around, and I swear that they flew
The ducks circled around, and I'm sure they were flying.

These deer had bags of my garbage, and big Willy in there too
The ducks had bags of my garbage, and they had big Willy in them too.

And then, in a a flash, they was tearing up my roof
Suddenly, they were ripping apart my roof.

I heard the stompin' and chompin' of each little hoof
I heard the sound of each little hoof as they stomped and chewed on my roof.

As I drew out my pistol, not knowing what to say
I pulled out my gun not sure what to do or say.

Down the fireplace came Willy, he must have got away
Willy managed to escape by going down the fireplace.

He had on a mink coat, from his bandana to his foot
Willy was wearing a mink coat from his bandana to his foot.

And his clothes were all nasty, covered it ashes and soot.
His clothes were dirty and covered in ashes and soot.

He had my bag of garbage flung over his back,
Willy had my garbage bag on his back.

And he looked like a fat raccoon, lookin' for a snack
He looked like a chubby raccoon who was looking for food.

As I stood there, wondering why he was not in bed
I wondered why Willy wasn't asleep in his bed.

I yelled, "Hey, I don't have any cookies you crazy knuckle head"
I yelled, informing him that I didn't have any cookies.

His mouth was wide open as he stood there in shock
He stood there in shock with his mouth open.

Then I realized, I was in my tighty whites, with only a top
Then I realized that I was only wearing my undershirt and underpants.

OK, Willy looked like he was smoking a pipe
Willy appeared to be smoking a pipe.

I know I never seen that, and it didn't seem right
I had never seen him smoke before, and it didn't seem normal.

Not sure it was Willy's face, but no doubt it was his belly
I wasn't sure it was Willy's face, but I knew it was his belly.

With the unmistakable shake, cause hey, Willy loves his jelly
His belly was shaking unmistakably, because Willy loves jelly.

Willy's chubby and plump, like a fat little mouse
Willy is chubby and round, like a little fat mouse.

And I got tickled at seeing him and said "Why are you at my house?"
He amused me so I asked him, 'Why did you come to my house?'

He winked at me and smiled, as he set down his stash
Willy smiled and winked at me when he put down his bag.

I saw it was not my garbage, and it certainly was not my trash
I noticed that the things in his bag were not my garbage or trash.

Hey, this cat didn't say a word, as he pulled out some toys
Willy didn't say anything, but he pulled out some toys.

And not just cheap crap. This stuff was for big boys!
These were not just inexpensive toys, they were toys for adults!

He was doing a job, and he was going to work
He was on a mission, and he was working hard.

This could not be Willy, because Willy, he's a jerk!
I couldn't believe this was Willy because he is usually not nice.

He left me some goodies, then he sprang in the air
He gave me some presents, then he jumped in the air.

I wasn't sure what I just saw, but hey, I didn't care
I didn't know what just happened, but I was happy with the result.

And I heard him yell out, as he left with his pack
I heard him shout as he left with his bag.

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night, Jack!"
"Merry Christmas to everyone, and have a good night, Jack!"