Stupid Marriage
The Specials Lyrics

Court in session (oy, oy, oy!)
The proceedings of a legal case are about to begin (and the singer repeats a phrase of Jamaican patois)

What do you mean 'oy oy oy,' me say court in session!
The singer is taken aback by the previous phrase and clarifies the start of the judicial process

Order
The judge commands silence and decent behavior in the courtroom

My name is Judge Roughneck
The judge introduces himself as a tough and strict official

And I will not tolerate any disobedience in my courtroom
The judge warns attendees that any misbehavior will not be tolerated

Rude boy, you have been brought in front of me
The judge addresses the defendant, using a Jamaican term for young men who behave rudely

And charged with smashing this woman's window
The judge accuses the defendant of breaking a window that belonged to a woman

Before I sentence you
The judge states he will announce the consequence for the defendant's actions

What have you got to say in your defense?
The judge invites the defendant to present an explanation that might work in his favor

I was walking down the street one night
The defendant starts recounting his perspective of what happened

When I saw her silhouette in her bathroom light
The defendant describes witnessing the woman's image while she was taking a shower

Her way of life may be nothing to hide
The defendant states that the woman's life and habits do not necessarily have anything clandestine

With her frosted glass shattered, curtains open wide
The defendant explains that he could see the woman undressed through the broken window

Naked woman, naked man
The defendant comments on the woman's lack of clothes and possibly refers to himself too

Where did you get that nice suntan?
The defendant asks where the woman developed her skin color, implying she could have been sunbathing

You live in a castle built of sand
The defendant criticizes the woman for having a vulnerable and fragile existence

Naked from your bath, you go naked to your bed (oh, sure?)
The defendant suggests that the woman lives in a way too exposed even in the privacy of her home

But I can't stop the hatred running through my head
The defendant confesses to having strong negative emotions while observing the woman

Silence in court
The judge demands quiet and respect in the courtroom

Rude boy, you have led me to believe that you were going out with a girl
The judge supposes that the defendant had a previous romance with another woman

And she left you and married someone else
The judge assumes that the woman in question abandoned the defendant to start a new marital union with a different man

So you got drunk, and smashed up your ex-girlfriend's property
The judge accuses the defendant of getting intoxicated and vandalizing his former partner's things

I have come to one conclusion
The judge declares he has reached a final decision

That is to sentence you to five months in prison
The judge announces the duration of the penalty imposed on the defendant

Before they take you down to the cells
The judge warns the defendant that he is about to be apprehended and lead to his confinement

What have you got to say for yourself?
The judge gives the defendant a last opportunity to speak on his behalf and show repentance

He wanted to be something but she knows he never will
The singer introduces new themes of a man who craves success but cannot achieve it, and his partner who is aware of his limitations

She's got him where she wanted and forgot to take her pill
The woman in the couple recklessly conceived a child despite the man's wishes or doubts

And he thinks that she'll be happy when she's hanging out the nappies
The man imagines that his lover will find fulfillment in taking care of their baby, but he might be wrong

If that's a happy marriage I'd prefer to be unhappy
The singer concludes that a marriage based on deceit, mistakes, and lies could not produce any happiness

Married woman, married man
The singer moves to the topic of couples who are already tied in matrimony

Where did you get that family plan?
The singer asks how the married couple came to have a family and asks to reflect on family planning

Mrs. Ewe and Mr. Ram
The singer uses the metaphorical characters of sheep to refer to a man and a woman in a marriage relationship and playfully names them

Where did you get that lovely lamb?
The singer wonders how the couple created their offspring and compliments its beauty

Naked woman, naked man (silence in my courtroom)
The singer repeats a phrase from before, announcing an upcoming chorus and acknowledging the need for justice and order

Where did you get that nice sun tan? (order in my courtroom)
The singer retraces the previous question while invoking the judge's authority to halt unnecessary noise

Naked woman, naked man (I will have order in my coutroom)
The chorus repeats with a more assertive tone, reinforcing the need for the courtroom's discipline

Where did you get that nice sun tan? (hush up!)
The singer directs another question at the naked couple and orders all the extra sounds to stop

Naked woman, naked man (take him away!)
The singer generates a dramatic ending, demanding someone's capture or punishment and condemning the naked couple's immodesty