Stand Up Comics Instructions
The Style Council Lyrics


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Get 'em laughing - keep 'em there,
You hold your own and they'll hold their's,
Hold their glasses - can't hold their beer
Tell 'em the one about the fucking queer.
Do the one that always works,
'Bout the lazy blacks that don't like work,
And once you got 'em, keep 'em there
Raise their spirits! Raise their cheer!

Do that one that never fails,
'Bout the gang of white thugs and the Asian male,
And once you got 'em, they'll be with you!
See this lot's loyal, through and through.

Tell Irish jokes and you can't miss,
Do the building site one and how they're all thick.
Keep 'em laughing - you'll have it made,
We're a friendly lot and you'll be well paid.





But keep 'em laughing don't let it stop
Or the truth might catch up and spoil the plot.

Overall Meaning

The Stand Up Comic's Instructions is a satirical critique on the apparent insensitivity of stand-up comics towards minorities and marginalized community. The song employs irony to expose the ridiculousness of racist, homophobic, and xenophobic jokes that are often told by stand-up comics. The lyrics instruct the comic to keep the audience laughing by recounting jokes that degrade and stereotype different communities. The first verse instructs to "Tell 'em the one about the f*cking queer" and "Do the one that always works, 'Bout the lazy blacks that don't like work." The chorus urges the comic to "Raise their spirits! Raise their cheer!" and "Keep 'em laughing - you'll have it made."


In the second verse, the song continues to lampoon, urging the comic to tell the jokes that "never fail" like the one about "the gang of white thugs and the Asian male." The song then offers Irish and construction worker jokes as additional fodder for laughs. The final verse serves as a warning to the comic, intimating that if they stopped performing jokes, the audience might realize the hurtful nature of the humor, and the truth might catch up to the jokester.


The Stand-Up Comic's Instructions by The Style Council subverts the idea that comedy should be harmless and instead uses humor to shed a light on the oppressive nature of derogatory jokes. The lyrics place the comedic profession in the role of cultural gatekeepers and urge comedians to take their responsibility seriously. By critiquing an aspect of popular culture, the song invites reflection and promotes greater sensitivity towards minority groups.


Line by Line Meaning

Get 'em laughing - keep 'em there,
Start the show with a real bang, then it's easy -- keep it going!


You hold your own and they'll hold their's,
If you can carry it off, they'll love you, and that means your drinks are on them.


Hold their glasses - can't hold their beer
They'll drink anything -- but watch out! They'll be sick very quickly.


Tell 'em the one about the fucking queer.
It's always great fun to insult someone different from you. It doesn't mean anything! Just a bit of harmless humor.


Do the one that always works,
You know the one -- it's always a big hit. Do it!


'Bout the lazy blacks that don't like work,
Another classic! It doesn't matter that it's not true -- just tell it, and watch the laughs roll in.


And once you got 'em, keep 'em there
You've got them eating out of your hand -- don't let it slip!


Raise their spirits! Raise their cheer!
Keep them giggling, and they'll feel great about themselves -- and you!


Do that one that never fails,
You know the one -- you've told it a hundred times, but they love it every time.


'Bout the gang of white thugs and the Asian male,
Another hilarious bit of nonsense! It doesn't matter if it's racist -- it's funny!


And once you got 'em, they'll be with you!
You've got them in the palm of your hand, and they'll follow you wherever you go.


See this lot's loyal, through and through.
Isn't it great how much they appreciate your bigoted, ignorant humor? They'll always be there for you!


Tell Irish jokes and you can't miss,
Everyone loves a good Irish joke! It doesn't matter if you're not from Ireland -- they'll still be hilarious.


Do the building site one and how they're all thick.
Those working-class fellows are always fun to make fun of! They won't mind -- they're too busy drinking beer and cheering you on.


Keep 'em laughing - you'll have it made,
As long as you keep them laughing, you'll be a success! They'll elp you through thick and thin - especially if the pay is good.


We're a friendly lot and you'll be well paid.
As long as you keep the bigotry coming, we'll be the best friends you ever had! And we'll make sure you get plenty of cash for it too.


But keep 'em laughing don't let it stop
Whatever you do, don't let anyone think too hard about what you're saying! Keep them distracted with laughter and they won't realize how hateful and mean-spirited you really are.


Or the truth might catch up and spoil the plot.
If anyone catches on to what you're really saying, your whole act might fall apart. Better hope nobody figures out what you're really like!




Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: PAUL JOHN WELLER

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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