1996-2001: Hollywood Records years
In 1995 the band signed to Hollywood Records, a subsidiary of The Walt Disney Company. 1996 saw the release of their first album, Destruction by Definition. Its blend of punk rock and ska brought the national attention in the midst of the mid-1990s punk rock mainstream revival. The single "No Face" became a minor hit on modern rock radio stations and the album was supported through extensive touring across the United States. They released a follow-up in 1998 entitled Battle Hymns, which continued their ska punk style while incorporating more aggressive elements of hardcore punk, with nearly all of its songs lasting under two minutes in length.
Following the release of Battle Hymns Grant left the band. He went on to play with numerous groups including Thoughts of Ionesco, The Vandals, face to face, and Telegraph before finding a permanent position in the Alkaline Trio. He was replaced by Erin Pitman for some touring before new permanent drummer Ryan Vandeberghe joined. In 2000 this lineup released The Suicide Machines, a more pop rock oriented effort that moved away from the ska influences of their earlier releases. They received some radio and video play for the single "Sometimes I Don't Mind" and performed on the Warped Tour that Summer. In 2001 they released Steal This Record, which continued their exploration of pop punk style while mixing in elements of their earlier ska punk and hardcore albums.
2002-2005: Side One Dummy years
Following touring in support of Steal This Record bassist Nunley left The Suicide Machines to start his own band, Blueprint 76, and was replaced by Rich Tschirhart. The band also ended their contract with Hollywood Records, fulfilling their contractual obligations by releasing the compilation album The Least Worst of the Suicide Machines. They then moved to the independent label Side One Dummy Records. Their next album A Match and Some Gasoline, released in 2003, found the band abandoning the pop experimentations of their previous two albums and returning more to the ska punk and hardcore styles of their earlier years. They also began to explore sociopolitical themes in songs such as "Did You Ever Get a Feeling of Dread?" and "Your Silence," which were critical of President George W. Bush's administration, its response to the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, and the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. They toured internationally in support of the album and again performed on the Warped Tour.
In 2005 the band released the album War Profiteering is Killing Us All, which continued their political themes by openly attacking the Bush White House, the continuation of the Iraq War, and conservative Republicanism. Navarro also launched his own record label, Noise Riot Records, and released On the Eve of Destruction: 1991-1995, a compilation of the band's early EPs, singles, and demos.
2006: Breakup and post-Suicide Machines activity
In 2006, while touring in support of War Profiteering is Killing Us All, the band abruptly broke up. Explanations given by the band members for this included Vandeberghe's desire to take a break from touring, which he did while friend Steve McCrumb filled for a performance at the Troubadour in Los Angeles on May 11. A tour of Mexico had been planned to follow this, and Navarro had suggested that the band perform its final shows that Christmas. However, interpersonal tensions came to a head after the Troubadour show when Lukacinsky refused to finish the tour. Lukacinsky himself further elaborated that the band had been planning to break up for some time.
Following the band's breakup, Navarro and Vandeberghe continued working with Left in Ruin, a band they had started as a Suicide Machines side project and had worked on and off with for almost 6 years. Vandeberghe also joined the new band Hifi Handgrenades. Lukacinsky, meanwhile, started his own band Bayonetting the Wounded. Navarro is currently fronting Hellmouth. Tschirhart is in The A-Gang.
Beat My Head Against the Wall
The Suicide Machines Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
do I need a conscience or a gun you say I
need drugs I think that depends I think
revenge is the best medicine a prescription
of Prozac and Vicodin will these panic attacks
ever end a little less sadness and no more pain
another fucking night I can't sleep again
Beat my head against the wall
Against the wall [3x]
Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe it
finally wears me out then I fall asleep
waking up depressed not knowing why
sometimes I feel like I want to die there's
so much paranoia that I can't think depression
keeps getting the best of me I need a fucking
will or an ounce of hope the solution doesn't lie at
the end of a rope
[Chorus 2x]
The Suicide Machines's song "Beat My Head Against the Wall" is a reflection of the struggles experienced by the singer, who is plagued with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. The opening lines convey the singer's desperation for patience and a conscience or a gun. The line "you say I need drugs, I think that depends" highlights the singer's uncertainty about taking medication to alleviate his anxiety and depression. Furthermore, the singer believes that revenge is the best medicine, which underscores the destructive and self-sabotaging nature of his thoughts.
The chorus "Beat my head against the wall" encapsulates the singer's feelings of helplessness and frustration in dealing with his mental health issues. The second verse is a continuation of the same theme, with the singer struggling to make sense of his debilitating depression and anxiety. The line "sometimes I feel like I want to die" is particularly poignant, as it highlights the singer's desire for release from his pain.
In conclusion, "Beat My Head Against the Wall" is a deeply introspective song about the hardships of dealing with mental health issues. The lyrics are raw and honest, and the song serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of seeking help when struggling with mental health issues.
Line by Line Meaning
I need some patience because I have none
I am impatient and cannot wait for things to happen.
do I need a conscience or a gun you say I
I am unsure if I need guidance or if I should harm myself.
need drugs I think that depends I think
I may need to use drugs to make myself feel better, but I am not certain.
revenge is the best medicine a prescription
I believe that getting revenge will heal me more than medication or treatment.
of Prozac and Vicodin will these panic attacks
I am taking medication to help with my panic attacks, but I do not know how well it works.
ever end a little less sadness and no more pain
I wish to get better and be happier without suffering any longer.
another fucking night I can't sleep again
I cannot sleep again and it's causing me frustration.
Beat my head against the wall
I hurt myself to cope with my emotions and struggles.
Against the wall [3x]
I am continuously hitting myself against a wall to feel something, anything.
Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe it
I sometimes feel like I cannot breathe properly and my anxiety gets the best of me.
finally wears me out then I fall asleep
My constant panic and stress exhausts me and eventually leads to me falling asleep.
waking up depressed not knowing why
I wake up feeling sad and hopeless even though I cannot explain why.
sometimes I feel like I want to die there's
I often struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings of hopelessness.
so much paranoia that I can't think depression
My anxiety and paranoia is so overwhelming that it makes me feel even more depressed.
keeps getting the best of me I need a fucking
My depression is getting worse and I am struggling to cope with my emotions.
will or an ounce of hope the solution doesn't lie at
I need some form of hope or a sense of purpose to keep myself going, but I know that the answer does not come from suicide.
the end of a rope
Suicide is not the answer and will not bring me the peace or relief I am seeking.
[Chorus 2x]
I continously hurt myself by slamming my head against a wall, as a manifestation of my inner turmoil.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: GREGORY REGIS GINN
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind