There is more than one artist with this name:

1. A Bulgarian ambient… Read Full Bio ↴There is more than one artist with this name:

1. A Bulgarian ambient/psychedelic DJ and artist.
2. An Indie Dance Punk Band from Phoenix AZ / Calexico CA
3. An American Metal Band from Virginia.

1. Therapist(Nikola Efremov) started listening to electronic music in 1997 after getting an album of Astral Projection and he was dazzled by the sounds and the unique vibes. As the years passed he developed his taste in electronic music in the progressive trance, hardcore, psychadelic, goa and ambient genres, influenced by countless artists and DJs. Music became his religion. At the age of 17 he took his first steps in mixing known as Born2Rave, concentrated mainly in trance sound. The next year he changed his allias to Therapist and gradually broadened his interests, generally in the ambient and psychedelic genres. Not long after he recieved invitations to step on the scene by leading ambient DJs in Bulgaria on parties and events, including the Earth Dance 2008 festival and Trakia Psyfriends 2009. Up to date Therapist has released few sets in various genres.

2.Therapist is a four piece indie band with members: Suz residing in Phoenix, AZ,and both Ant, Vic, and Michael residing in California. Influenced by The Chinese Stars, Moving Units, The Rapture, Death From Above 1979, and Glass Candy, Therapist promises a good time on the dance floor. Therapist also has remixes by Blake Miller (Moving Units/DIM MAK), Ese' & Zain (Shark Attack & All Leather/Three One G Records), Boys Don't Disco (SD), and Night Brawl (SD).

3. Therapist has just recently entered the scene, with members from both Hampton Roads and Roanoke, Virginia. They've made it a point to seperate themselves from the average music coming out in their area. After releasing a demo and getting their name out, they played a few shows within a couple weeks of this only to record a full length record "This is All Coming to an End" that released on october 31st, 2006. Therapist prides itself in the fact that everything that's been done they've done themselves. They hope to find a record label to call 'home' soon.

She Doesn't Know
Therapist Lyrics

We have lyrics for 'She Doesn't Know' by these artists:

Brian McKnight Uh she works in the cubical next to me She looks…
Irosa Rosali Something's off, but I can't tell You need to tend to…
J.O.S.H 하지만 그녀는 몰라요. 이 노랠 부르고 있는 지금 이 순간도 …
J.Y. Park 하지만 그녀는 몰라요. 이 노랠 부르고 있는 지금 이 순간도 …
JbDubs She doesn't know I kissed her brother Whoa oh oh I got…
Valerius I wish you could stay here Now everything has changed Standi…
Willam We can keep it up to us But I crave you Maybe…

The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos

TRACKS

Genre not found

Artist not found

Album not found

Search results not found

Song not found

Most interesting comment from YouTube:

Slanith

1y↑5

One if the biggest things with Therapy a lot of people should keep in mind... Just because they are a therapist, doesn't mean they're *good*. If you feel like that person isn't doing a good job, you aren't obligated to stick around. I say this from experience from the last therapist I had... I was forced to switch therapists because the one I was seeing was no longer available, and I had to see a new person who was like a few months out of college.

I suffer from extreme social anxiety, and anxiety in general, as well as depression... I also live in the country side, a half hour to an hour away from any town. This therapist didn't seem to understand this, no matter how many times I tried to tell her. She would constantly tell me I should go visit a park for a few mins, a library, somewhere public. I didn't have to interact with anyone, just be in a public place. But also, going to the store didn't count, because going to the store is "something people need to do". She wouldn't listen to the fact that I live far out of town, and it would be expensive on gas to go to town for stuff like that. The only times we went to town was for shopping (which doesn't count because it's something we need to do), because gas was/is so expensive.

The biggest red flag for me, though, which led to me gtfoing from that therapist, was when I had to go to the ER for something, and other than having someone drive me there... I did it all on my own. I talked to everyone, got checked out, and even went to get my meds on my own. Even went to an aquarium (which was shoulder-to-shoulder full). My next session, I was telling my therapist all this feeling proud of myself... Only to be told "It wasn't good enough because it was something I needed to do" and all that feeling of being proud of myself... Was shattered. In an instant. The aquarium visit was good, but everything else? Nope. And then she proceeded to tell me how I was in therapy for 7+ years already, and that the "average length people are in therapy is 7 months to a year", and was just overall berating me for being in therapy for all that time. Even accused my mom for enabling me, since she's my driver, because she wouldn't take me to the library or anything.

I live in the country side, my mom works night shifts at a factory for 12 hours every day. 3 days in a row. Only 2 days off. But nope, this doesn't matter to this therapist. I'm not trying hard enough, my mom isn't trying hard enough.

I left the session feeling worse about myself, my self confidence just shattered, my depression even higher. My mom was driving me there, and she noticed how I was when I came out and I told her what happened and she about stormed the building in full on protective mother mode. It was the last time I visited a therapist.

tl/dr: Just because someone is a therapist, doesn't mean they're good or actually have your best interests in mind. If you don't feel a therapist is working out for you and making you feel worse and berating you, you don't have to stay with them. Sometimes, they're just super bad at their job even if they are licensed.

All comments from YouTube:

Kati Morton

1y↑302

Want more to know more? Check out my playlist of Therapy Advice videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_loxoCVsWqxBJ6sFwpS3JAAL8HLKbHYa

The Plain Truth

1y↑1

Thank you.

Jessica Johnston

Welcome back, Kati! 😆🥰🤗

Mre4u

1y↑2

the problem is that when i open up about being sexually or physically assaulted i get questions like "what do you think you may have done to instigate it, even if it wasn't intentional?", "what do you think her reasoning was for doing that?", and my personal favorite "what was your attitude towards her like before that?"

Lily Bart's manacle

@Mre4u Give me a break. No one has said any such thing to you.

If you need attention this badly.. don't get a dog.
How about a prison pen pal? There are a lot of other lonely folks out there that you don't have to actually meet!

Give it a shot!

Mre4u

@Lily Bart's manacle and how would you know what people have said to me. if you need to insult people this badly maybe you should be in therapy! At any rate I'd advice thinking carefully before you speak. can't say it wasn't expected though, as i said i'm used to this sort of knee jerk reaction (especially from woman) when i mention being assaulted.

24 More Replies...

NebulousInterest

1y↑7.7K

Kati mentioned this, but I'd like to emphasize: While you should avoid lying, that doesn't mean you are obligated to tell the truth. Saying "I'm not comfortable talking about that right now," is completely valid and a good therapist should respect that. If the person you're working with continues to pressure you, it's time to consider if they might be doing more harm than help. You do not owe anybody your thoughts if it feels unsafe to share them. That's a boundary that should apply to all relationships, including therapeutic ones. Your safety needs to come first.

Stacy Kelly

1y↑233

My therapist asked me about my relationship with my husband which is very complicated. I simply told her I wasn't ready to address that yet because it's a lot. She was just like that's fine. It was so amazing.

NebulousInterest

1y↑95

@Stacy Kelly I'm happy to hear that she respected your boundaries regarding that topic; that's how it should be! My current therapist is like that, but I've also had experiences of being considered non-compliant for making similar requests. It's a good indicator of if someone values your input and actually wants to work with you or if they prioritize their expert opinion over your self-awareness and lived experience.

Joo

1y↑27

Yes but those are clearly the things that need to be talked through in order to heal. I don't think a therapist who lets you avoid "the work" is a good therapist, either.

Travis Wright

1y↑27

So what happens when your advice is taken but they therapist calls in security to haul you off and medicate you/strap you to a hospital bed because "you're a danger to <yourself/society>"? What happens then!?

NebulousInterest

1y↑49

@Joo Shouldn't the client have a say in what "the work" looks like for them? I'm not advocating for people to refuse every suggestion nor to avoid topics forever, just to trust their instincts on when something feels wrong. Adressing trauma before you're prepared to do so can be re-traumatizing, which will make healing more difficult in the long run. A therapist does not have access to my nervous system nor understand the full picture of my circumstances, so it shouldnt be up to them to determine when I'm ready to do "the work". I'm my opinion, a good therapist would mark down the reaction, maybe ask a few questions about why their client felt they couldn't talk about that topic and then revisit it at a later date. Everyone heals on their own timeline.

63 More Replies...

November DeMarque

1y↑3.4K

My closest friend was forced into a mental hospital after expressing thoughts of self harm. She'd never actually harmed herself, and still never has, but that experience traumatised her, and 20 years later, it still affects her. She'll never trust a therapist again and I don't blame her.

Gabriel Bennett

1y↑348

This is why I would never tell my therapist about any thought of self harm. I've mentioned it to her years after the fact, but if I were presently suicidal my therapist would be the last person I would tell. Therapy is ineffective for the most severe of issues because of the fact that in those cases a therapist can break confidentiality on a whim. My therapist has helped me with many issues, such as alcohol abuse and family relationships (and as a side effect probably kept me from suicidal thoughts). But the way the law currently is, it prevents the most direct form of help. I like my therapist a lot, but there are certain things I will never discuss with her. And I would never sign a stupid contract. What are they going to do if I break it? Sue my family?

Sarah Snyder

1y↑99

They have to break confidentiality when the patient is a danger to themselves or others! They cannot just let that patient leave and harm themselves. I just went to my first therapy session with a new therapist today and she went over confidentiality with me. She may have never actually harmed herself but it doesn’t mean she didn’t plan to do something that day?

Gracie McIntyre

1y↑286

@Sarah Snyder If there is no intention to hurt yourself they shouldn't confine you. Ive been traumatized after being 10-13nd even though i wasnt suicidal. the whole story is in a comment above. They treat you like an animal and strip you of humanity. psyche wards as they stand in america are inhumane and no one should be locked up in one.

James Ferguson

1y↑66

This is kind of odd, every time I have been admitted to a hospital for suicidal ideation me and my therapist discussed it, they asked my thoughts and went over why they felt it was needed or could help. And I have never had a negative experience in the hospital, there are some that are lightyears above the others, but there were no reasons that I wouldn't go back in if it where needed.

Sarah Snyder

1y↑42

@Gracie McIntyre If they deem you as a threat to yourself or others they have a responsibility to call someone and make sure you’re okay. I agree you shouldn’t be hospitalized if there isn’t any intention. But they don’t know if there is. They are ultimately responsible to make sure you are okay. I know what psychiatric hospitals are like, I’ve seen inside of one. Someone I know was in one and I went to see them.

101 More Replies...

J. Genovese

1y↑1.6K

I told my therapist as a 17 year old that I had previously attempted suicide (2 years prior) but had no urge to do so in the present time. She told my parents and told me that if I was continuing to see her, she would also notify my (incredibly strict) boarding school administration (which I denied consent to do). Learned so quickly to always ask how therapists deal with self harm and suicide histories, even if they’re not current. It was traumatizing to have my trust violated like that and then be immediately discarded due to my boundaries. I wish more therapists were better trained and like you.

saloni kamat

1y↑127

I wonder what even makes her a therapist if she seems to show so little skill and empathy for her patients.

Matthew

1y↑28

Sue!

J. Genovese

1y↑84

@Matthew I came close to reporting her to the medical review board for HIPAA violation, but it made me so anxious and angry to think about and after 4 phone calls with her supervisor where her supervisor basically gave me the run around and told me they didn’t do anything wrong (and I was just trying to get through senior year during COVID) that I gave up and tried to move on. I don’t have the resources for a lawyer and it feels much too late now, all I can do is pray someone else doesn’t get fucked over and if they do, they’re more resilient and able to bring down consequences 😔

maia aa

1y↑46

I’m 17 and also attempted 2 years ago and just told my therapist who had a much, much better reaction then yours did. So sorry you went through that ❤

Matame por favor

1y↑8

I’m thinking about telling my therapist about having a past of sh and suicide, I don’t do it and haven’t done it for a while but I’m still worried since I am a minor that my therapist will break confidentiality even though all of that was in the past

23 More Replies...

Eden

1y↑505

I went to a therapist and she told EVERYTHING we talked about to my mom. I got yelled at by her every day because of that, and my mental state got incredibly worse and I had to be hospitalised.
(Edit: im a minor, so i cant actually do anything about it.)

human

1y↑68

... I'm sorry you went through that. She probably felt like it was risky not to tell anyone. But she was naive to trust your mom with that information, since she didn't know if your mom was abusive towards you.

Ruby Tuesday

1y↑17

Horrible!

Gen GremSpring

1y↑11

Guess it might go on age, and anyyyy signed consent forms..just awful..READ EVERYTHING!

Who Cares

1y↑2

I can see that happening where I live. I refuse to even get my allergy med filled in this entire, nosy, hypocritical, "bust the church doors down every week," County.

Most tell EVERYTHING & I've heard it. I listened to it one day in car re: my friend. We got where we were going & I called him IMMEDIATELY &told him everything and that I'd be there as a witness &my girlfriend at the time was champing at the bit as well. She was only a check-in clerk...how she got that much access is beyond me

He never did anything.

Artist🫶🏾

1y↑1

NOOO THAT IS SOO NOT OKAY! I'm so sorry that happened, how are you doing now? 🤗🤗🤗

18 More Replies...

♡ 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙻𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚁𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎 ♡

1y↑1.1K

I love that you said hospitalization is a last resort for you. A couple years ago, I told my therapist I was self harming and I was sent to a hospital for about a week, the same night I said that to her. Looking back, it didn’t help at all. What’s worse is that most of the people there were struggling more than me and felt the same way. Some of them had been in jail and said the hospital was worse than that. There’s definitely something wrong with the way most mental hospitals are ran.

Oterys Rhaegan

1y↑44

I agree! I once had an appointment with a therapist, but went to the wrong office and they tried to hospitalized me. Later my therapist told me I should have let them.

levi

1y↑27

they j immediately want to send you away to a place that doesn't do shit for you. residential hospitalization is so much more affective than acute hospitalization, but it's unfortunately so much more expensive and not usually covered by insurance.

Autumn

1y↑31

Not to mention that in the US, wouldn't it also mean a huge bill? That's the last thing anyone already under stress and financial strain needs!

♡ 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙻𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚁𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎 ♡

1y↑13

@Autumn I’m from the US and yes, it was super expensive for only a week of being there.

12 More Replies...

TheBeastCH

1y↑81

I remember when I just started my therapy sessions with my current therapist. I felt like I was obligated to tell her about the sexual abuse I went through as a kid, but when I actually tried, the words got stuck in my throat, resulting in several minutes of me trying several times to form a sentence and not actually saying two words that are connected in any way. That want on until she told me it's okay to not be ready yet to talk about that, and we switched topics.

David Dinunno

1y↑4.6K

I was in therapy for 7 years with a therapist 4 years younger than me who I never regarded as a very "good" therapist, but I liked her as a person and felt safe and comfortable opening up to her. I felt good just from having her talk to, but I had goals I wanted to achieve with the help of a therapist, and she was doing nothing. There was literally no therapy. The few times that I tried to call her attention to that fact she would cry and when I asked "why are you crying" she said "I feel attacked". Other times, if I told a story that made me feel sad, she'd offer me a hug. I had no idea at the time that she was constantly violating my boundaries and was basically incompetent and very unprofessional. Finally, I started taking Intuniv for ADHD and it quite literally "woke me up". When I expressed my new awareness the lack of therapy she tried to rationalize it by saying it's because "we're like friends". One week later she denied ever having used the word "friend" and tried to gaslight me by saying I was "misremembering" what she had said. Skipping past all the other crazy things she said, the next thing I knew I got a call from her supervisor claiming that I had abused my therapist and would never see or talk to her again...I was being discarded...and then she discharged me to prevent me from getting another therapist in that organization. That was about 14 months ago and I now have PTSD as a result. I can no longer take the ADHD meds that were like a miracle for me except that they also helped me to finally see the reality of an abusive "therapeutic" relationship and it was that "clarity" and self-expression that caused my therapist and her supervisor to traumatize me. I don't know why I'm writing this but I just needed to. I know my experience is probably quite rare and unique but...I love your videos and at the same time as I listen to you I feel this pressured wish to tell you there are things you don't know...not every therapist is "you"...I just trusted the idea of my therapist being "professional" and it turned out to be the worst mistake of my life. Sorry for writing book here...

Kristina_ _

1y↑455

Hey so sorry about your experience. I have never been in therapy myself, but I can imagine that your experience isn't that rare. Just like in other jobs, there are people who are good at it and those bad at it. Unfortuntely, people who work in healthcare are also in the position of power, so if they are shitty at their job and/or as people, they can really cause harm. I hope you are able to find someone else soon and that you will get better. Take care!

QueenSoap

1y↑510

Whoa! She'd start crying? That's interesting. The only thing is.... your experience might not be as rare as you think. My therapist wasn't as off the rails as yours, but she was objectively terrible at her job. Half the time she was not listening, she'd assign me random stuff to do but never followed up , it was up to me to start our sessions as she didn't even know how to start a conversation... or think to ask me about things I'd mentioned previously. I also stayed with her longer than I should have because overall she was a nice person who just seemed to have chosen the wrong profession. Based on the amount of horror stories I've heard, this stuff is pretty common.

sunsita

1y↑221

That is so wrong. I'm really sorry you went through that. I have ADHD too and its bad enough dealing with so much ableist crap, being gaslit etc by your therapist is the last thing anyone needs to deal with. It seems like there should be some way for you to get your meds. Find a different clinic and share your experience. Make sure they are professional. I've had very bad with therapists too but good ones will validate your bad experiences and have healthy boundaries, and be reliable.

Earl E. Burd

1y↑40

"now i have PTSD as a result" lmao!

David Dinunno

1y↑525

@Earl E. Burd It's not my opinion, it's the opinion of the psychiatrist who diagnosed me, but thanks for your arrogant opinion.

242 More Replies...

L M

1y↑153

I loved my psychologist for #4. Whenever she would suggest something that made me tense up, she would ask: "okay, what thoughts are popping up right now?" Or sometimes, "what's stopping you from wanting to try this right now?" I absolutely loved it, because it kept the conversation going while still validating my fears or hesitations. In that way, we've adjusted many a strategy or tool into something I felt comfortable with (and sometimes we didn't need to change it at all, just my mindset)

marla

1y↑4

my therapist does the same! whenever she feels i tense up, or she hears that i go quiet for a long period of time; she always says “what thoughts are popping up?” i think it’s good, it makes me feel comfortable

Bytchy N Baxter

1y↑109

2nd topic: I have found that during therapy sessions if I haven't brought notes I will more or less forget every issue I've been having. I will actually think I'm doing better than I am and then slide back once the session is over. I think for me it has to do with BPD and my rapidly changing moods. I don't purposely hide how things are. I wonder how many others relate.

April

1y↑17

I 100% relate to this. I have anxiety and if I don't have notes, I feel like I'm giving a class presentation I haven't rehearsed. My mind goes blank and I revert to people pleasing. "I think I'm doing well"

ace

1y↑7

yea i bring my journals in atm because otherwise i feel like i forgot something and i probably did

MargoxaTheGamer

1y↑2

same

Bennekin

51w↑5

Yea I don’t have BPD but like I can’t judge how my past week has been, it’s too broad, my emotions change too frequently and I don’t remember how I feel at certain unimportant moments

Anton Yadrov

50w↑3

If I had a penny for every time an ASD got diagnosed with BPD instead, my legal name would be Scrooge-Elon Midas McDuck. Do (or did) you have any suspisions that you might be ASD? In any case, I highly suggest you do some research on ASD for yourself and if you feel like it hits home too many times, definitely get diagnosed by a different psychiatrist, who has confirmed experience with ASD. I know this can be expensive, but it is your life that's on the line. And potentially taking wrong meds is not only a waste of money, but can totally waste you, too.

1 More Replies...

L Batemon

1y↑260

I'm on the autism spectrum and ADHD inattentive. I'm a total open book, which is really off-putting to a lot of people, even some therapists. I've made comments that instantly invalidated me to health care professionals. I never know it's going to happen until I see something flicker in their eyes and then they start acting differently towards me. My first few attempts at therapy were disastrous, but I'm so grateful when I find someone I can connect with, who actually listens!

Edited to add this thought: just because someone holds the degrees and the licenses doesn't mean they are great at what they do. Like she said, we're all human. And just because someone isn't great for me doesn't mean they aren't exactly what someone else needs.

JennyWinters

1y↑6

I'm self diagnosed ADHA and on the Asperger's spectrum, very high functioning but damaged. No therapy on earth will ever help me, I feel that therapists are a bunch of quacks in the 21st century selling snake oil. In fact, my therapist wanted me to buy Indian healing spices, jewelry, vitamins etc and wtf I am not on QVS here to get the latest trendy grand. I can barely afford therapy and it's forced on me at that.

i

1y↑5

Oh my god! this is has happened so many times to me as well, i could never quite pinpoint what it was, but this describes it perfectly. sometimes it’s literally the fact i have autism that causes the switch. they treat you like you’re lying to them or seeking a diagnosis, it doesn’t matter if i’m educated on it or not. if I don’t do extensive research beforehand? then why would you think you could have this? you can’t explain why so you’ve got no valid reasons. if i do? then clearly i’m trying to get this diagnosis even tough i don’t have it. it’s so frustrating.

JJ Skywalker

46w

@JennyWinters I'm ADHD ASD Bipolar 1 and it's not easy I fight every day but I was once like you I lost faith in getting help I thought I wasn't worth the time I still feel that way to this day even in a non therapeutic setting. It's not everybody's cup of tea.

K Ma

45w

Reading that first sentence resonates so well with me. It took my wife to point out that people think I’m lying or trying to be intimidating when I’m just being open and honest. The more that those of us with AuDHD talk about, the more people will understand us. Hopefully, this will lead to fewer people being abused, in the school system, as I was.

2 More Replies...

iluvsubliminals2002

1y↑13

I remember I had a therapist when I went to this long-term mental facility for minors before I turned 18 years old. My mental health was terrible at the time, and to top that off, I was given the wrong medication. Therefore, I was having psychotic episodes and getting intrusive thoughts, feelings, and urges to attack people, even if they were just coughing. Two of them were my crush and her partner. I told my therapist about this, but she just said, "I think it's just you."

Like, WTF?

Fan's number 1 fan

1y↑114

My first (and last, i hope) therapist told my parents EVERY. SINGLE. THING. i said to her. I was struggling with self harm and suicide and still am, but I feel so awful about that experience that I don't want anything to do with another therapist. I told her that if my parents found out they'd just make my life hell, and she told them anyways. In the interview with them, they just said I was lying and then I got slapped across the face and grounded. This was almost two years ago, and I still can't open up to any adults. Not even those I trust like favorite teachers or family friends.

Jamie S

1y↑13

That has gotta be really difficult. I hope life gets better and someone really fully trustworthy comes into your life that is able to be an oasis. You're a valuable being, and hope there comes a day when you can honestly believe and feel it, too.

Calixte

1y↑11

Hi this happened to me too. I am sorry this sucks you were brave to try to reach out. If you find the strength try again some therapists will help. Something important to note is you won't be a minor forever. I am 18 and I just started because of my parents.

Rebecca Caswell

1y↑6

They tell me that I am 41 now. But yesterday I was 15. Life has gotten better with every passing year. "Victory is a question of stamina" - old American WW2 propaganda poster and what my boyfriend (now husband) had on his wall to encourage him to keep slogging through his own depression.

One of the things I tell my patients now is, "I promise you: someday this will all just be a story. Not the end of your story, but just a story you tell about a hard time in your life." (I'm just a nurse but my patients in the hospital are often panicking about being sick enough to be in the hospital.)

Your parents are wrong. You can't fix that. You don't have to fix that.

Don't kill yourself. ❤. The future has nice things in store for you.

-Peekaboo Cat-

1y↑13

Are they serious, like

"Oh our child had thought about killing themself and doing self harm.
A perfect reason to slap them"

Fan's number 1 fan

1y↑6

@-Peekaboo Cat- unfortunately, yeah.

5 More Replies...

Sofia Yang

1y↑4.9K

1. Lies
2. Pretending to be doing better than we are
3. Pretending to be worse than we are
4. “This is working great” when it’s not

Jeff Muller

1y↑381

Basically be honest with your therapist, and yourself.

santolosa

1y↑229

@Jeff Muller yup. all are just a variation of lying

Caomihín

1y↑87

So just don't lie!

Lucy Locket

1y↑61

Also: Hiding from your therapist something, that is very important e.g. live event, which affects our current wellbeing.

Diane Mattson

1y↑11

mvp

58 More Replies...

mangantasy

1y↑31

One of my first therapists threatened me to delay my majority age (to avoid that I could relaese myself). I was 17 at that time, highly anorexic, depressed and seriously underweight. My mother forced-tricked me into hospital and therapy-wise, looking back it is obvious how it could never work out. Well, I gained weight, because I was helpless against it, but in therapy I held back a lot. I was terrified of the threat and never told anything that I feared could be used "against me" and thus delay my majority. I still don't know how realistic that possibility would actually have been, but it scared me enough to not risk anything.
So most of the therapy was pretending and trying to guess what the thereapist would want to hear, and mostly, not saying a word about the darkest thoughts.

Now, decades later, I am glad that I have a really good therapist whom I trust completely and that I can be honest with him, tell everything. Still difficult, but without that trust there is not even a chance of improving.

JennyWinters

1y↑5

Forced therapy never works as well I know, I was a victim.

JennyWinters

Therapy might work in that you are an adult, not connected in any way to a career or a forced counseling, it might work. I have no idea as I've never had real therapy that wasn't pushed on my and made mandated on me. I feel I was so much more stable than any of the therapists, they seemed off-kilter or just off and at least harmful , at best just money grubbing.

Anton Yadrov

50w↑1

Ah yes, attempting a shock-based CBT on a child . Lovely therapist you had there (not).

mangantasy

50w

@Anton Yadrov yes... took me years to consider trusting a therapist again. I can only hope they do things better today.

Anton Yadrov

50w

@mangantasy at least you were able find a good one eventually. Wish it was possible where I live (ruzzia). Definitely can't get better by myself.

CherrySake

1y↑13

Sometimes the root cause of lying to your therapist is because other therapists reject you after you finally get the confidence and trust them enough to admit to them that you want help with this major thing. Back before the Covid pandemic, where you saw your therapist in person; I finally built enough trust with my therapist to finally confess that I have a problem I want help fixing. I broke down in tears, spilling my guts, crying, saying I want help because I know this is wrong but I need to stop bottling this up. This therapist switched me to a different therapist, after I spilled my guts because I finally felt comfortable enough to admit I need help; I get stabbed with this ice cold knife of indirectly saying "I can't deal with you." My therapist didn't directly say it but her saying something like "this will be our last session, I'm switching you to a different therapist" at the end of our session; again I was shocked at the reaction of horror after spilling my guts so I don't remember exactly what my therapist said. So, I just lie and realize I'll never get help getting totally over my trauma because if I ever tell a therapist again that my trama has scared me so deeply; I'll get dropped like a boiling hot potato and kicked to someone else.... so why ruin the trust and comfort I spent years building up, by admitting I have a deeper wound. Ya just will get kicked to someone else who you will need to build trust up enough with to feel comfortable to soothe the surface scars, talk to again about the trauma and dig into the layers of your trama again.

Anonymous

42w

Vulnerability is hard, especially when it has backfired or our trust has been betrayed in the past. I've struggled with it before, and I'm still working on it now. Just know that there are good therapists out there who could be a better match for you. If you aren't ready to open up about something, that’s ok; there’s no shame in that. If you're struggling to open up or be vulnerable, that could be a good place to start with your therapist. The other stuff can follow whenever you are ready. Just keep fighting, and don't give up. I believe in you!!

Trev Does Weird Things

1y↑72

When you're a little too honest with your therapist:
🚔FBI OPEN UP🚔

Lewis Thompson

1y↑9

thats true that why therapy doesnt work and is a broken system

Ms. Jay Bee

1y↑47

I'm a therapist and I have my own bad therapist story. It happened in my teens. I didn't go back until I was almost 30 and it helped me enough that it motivated me to become a therapist. If you had a bad experience, I encourage you to try again. Get recommendations from people you know if you can. Think of initial session as an interview. Ask the therapist about their philosophy and approach. Just like with any relationship, if you see red flags don't ignore them. And if you don't click, move on. A good therapist will understand and will not take this personally.

Yashb's Piano And Compositions

42w

Bad therapists are absolute monsters

Lunasera

1y↑79

In 2020 my best friend died in a fire. I had depression before (I was never diagnosed until then but I believe it started all the way back in school).
His death, lockdown and the high demands in my work (nurse) finally pushed my into a mental breakdown and I decided to seek help. Most therapists didn't even see me and gave the reason to have no capacities for new patients. One saw me and it was awful for me. While she actually gave me a written diagnosis for depression the talk was really aggravating for me.
She did a good job on the assessment, it took about nearly one and a half hours, but in the end she didn't look at me once and asked "so, how do you want me to help you?"
Ok, fair question, making sure where I stand and such...
I told her I know that I had to put the work into it but hoped she could give me guidelines, teach me possible coping machanisms I might not have thought of or didn't know or such. That I wanted to learn ways to handle this in a healthier way than not being able to leave the bed.
She looked at me and said: "and how do you think I should do that? What kind of therapie do you think we should do?"
At that point my mind was like Lady, if I knew that I would be a therapist and would have no need for therapie. I get compliance and all that stuff after all I work in the medical field, but I shouldn't have to tell my therapist how to do his/her job.
In the end I never went again and worked on it on my own. Luckily I had a very understanding and helpful partner.

RaptorFromWeegee

51w↑3

Sounds like a nightmare. The lockdowns were hard, especially on the mental health system. There were shortages both in meds and qualified personnel. I read that psych facilities here in NYC had gotten MUCH worse. Even fancy private hospitals were very subpar. Just remember, where there is life there is hope.

Þrekamunin

1y↑2.9K

"Remember, therapy isn't the place for judgement or blame". True, but shame is still a powerful emotion and it doesn't care that you're in therapy. The lies I've told my therapist were mainly to myself.

Belen LG

1y↑169

I think you hit the nail there. Most often when I lie to my therapist is because I lie to myself

Theodore Wilson

1y↑55

which is precisely why it took me so many years of failing at it before I was finally ready. It just took sudden spousal abuse and a nervous breakdown before I was finally ready.

Sean Wilhelm

1y↑26

I was beyond shame when I started therapy. I wanted help so I was completely open with my intrusive thoughts. I was able to get a lot of help.

Soniaa ♡

1y↑6

I never lied but keep in mind that my therapist is my aunt

I guess is not the same when is a family member?

27 More Replies...

Ellydi

1y↑42

I love all of this.

I remember once when I had admitted myself to the hospital and was sent to a college counselor for follow-up though and she had me sign a suicide/self harm contract though and honestly it just made me feel like she didn't understand or believe the severity of how I was feeling.

If I'm feeling suicidal and it's to a point where I'm actually at risk, having signed a contract or a piece of paper isn't going to stop me and it felt really fake to go through those motions as though it was legally binding somehow. I would have felt a lot more supported with just promising not to do those things person to person.

That said, I'm still here though, so who knows?

Rebecca Caswell

1y↑7

Willing to contract to not harm yourself is like a thing... Like it's on the list of things you're supposed to do as a health care provider and like statistically the person is less likely to kill themselves if they contract not to. (I'm a nurse and it's on one of the suicide risk assessment things like "Is patient willing to contract not to hurt themselves? Yes/no")
So nothing personal. She was just doing one of the things we're supposed to do. We're all just shootin in the dark here. 😉

Nope.

44w

You decided to stay here. Don't be too dependent.

arianbyw

1y↑14

My one and only experience of therapy was a disaster. My therapist was very amenable on the first consultation, then on the second, was more interested in fiddling with her new respect gadgets. The 3rd appointment, she didn't even turn up! Luckily I wasn't suffering from huge trauma, but if I had been really vulnerable, it could have been quite dangerous. I don't think I'd ever do therapy again.

Sarah Snyder

1y↑16

I decided to go back to therapy and today was my first day with my therapy and the first thing she did before allowing me to speak freely was explain patient confidentiality! I already knew all this but I’m still glad she went over it with me!

Frozen Orange Lyssa

1y↑6

I agree with most of this. The thing I had a slight issue with was number 3, especially relating it to people with bpd. As someone with bpd and knowing how rapidly my mood can shift, I sometimes feel like I’m pretending to be worse than I am. I’m not actually doing that. In the moment that I’m sharing that I’m doing worse, it’s true, even though 15 minutes later, my mood may shift out of that. I think bpd is very complex and in general gets a bad rap for being “overly dramatic” or faking things for “attention.”

That being said, I really appreciate you addressing SI! I think more people did to speak up about how you can talk about SI without being hospitalized

Casey Coker

1y↑19

I have bipolar disorder and to be honest it can be hard to tell if I'm doing well or not sometimes. With that in mind, number 2 and number 3 can be daunting. It can be difficult to tell if I'm being authentic in expressing where I'm at, whether I'm doing better or worse at any given time, etc. This is largely due to being so all over the place most of the time. I might be doing pretty well the day I see my psych or therapist but I might be a complete wreck on other days. It's can be hard to express just how bad a day like that might have been when I'm doing well. The opposite can also be true of course. If I'm on a bad day I might come off like I've been doing absolutely horrible and end up over exaggerated just how bad it has been. Honestly it's just hard to navigate how I'm doing within my own mind, let alone when trying to tell others about it.

Bess Smith

Ditto!

Nyx Thevampire

that's why I have a journal where I record my moods. it helps me keep track of my mood over the weeks I'm away from therapy

Deanna Cumpston

43w

Yes that’s exactly how I feel. My moods change so much I can’t seem to trust myself.

Grey Wolf ASMR

1y↑500

I was so worried about talking about childhood abuse for fear it would be reported. My first couple of sessions was all about what would have to be reported and when. He told me that he would always let me know before he made a report if he would have to report it. This process has helped me so much and so far nothing has needed to be reported.

Allesandra Orozco-Newton

1y↑33

I'm really happy to hear that your therapist has done such a good job of proving his trustworthiness and making therapy productive for you. I wish more therapists had that approach. My therapist when I was a child called CPS without warning me beforehand and without considering that he might actually put me in danger if CPS couldn't find solid proof of the abuse. My parents collaborated to hide signs of abuse and made my brother and I lie to CPS. Then they found a new therapist who shared their beliefs about discipline and how to raise children.

Kai Vaughn

1y↑1

Even if you're an adult, I think if you have siblings who are minors they still need to report it. I've been through it, lots of CPS visits from cases that were closed nearly 10yrs ago.

Kai Vaughn

1y↑1

@thawne7993 Odd question, I'm not sure I understand. A lot of people need therapy and many of them don't get it.

Angie Rose

I make this promise with clients too and I’m so glad to read that it does help clients so I will continue doing this

4 More Replies...

D2SProductions

1y↑51

Back in 1991 I had a therapist who I admitted to having suicidal thoughts to, I wasn't suicidal, I had no plans of actually ending my own life, yet the therapist asked me to check myself into a hospital for a 24 hour observation. That 24 hour observation ended up being two and a half weeks to bilk my insurance for all they could. My therapist came to visit me a few times while I was in the psych ward of the hospital, and I asked my therapist what would've happened if I had decided not to check myself in, my therapist told me that he would've called the police to intercept me at home and take me to the hospital where I would then been involuntarily committed.

This incident completely made me lose all trust of any and all therapists.

Here's another reason not to trust therapists: My grandfather died on his way to work, crashed into by a drunk driver, the son of the local mayor, this was back in the 1950s, so long before I was born; that incident really impacted my mother and her brothers greatly. My youngest uncle had started seeing a therapist who then started putting into his head that all of his problems were caused by his mother (my grandmother). I remember one night my uncle was living with us for while, we were all living with my grandmother at the time. My uncle came in there was a loud argument between them, I don't even remember what the argument was about, all I remember is what he said before the stormed off to his room, he told my grandmother, "I hate you, I wish you were dead." Thanks therapists for screwing up relationships between parents and their kids for centuries.

Nickr

47w↑1

Sorry to gear that also there are some things I told my grandpa not to tell his therapist or use other words to talk about it

Phantom Pyro

1y↑6

I've been having trouble admitting the severity of my mental state to my therapist and psychiatrist, partly because I've got trust issues and partly because I've kept it so long that it feels wrong to suddenly bring up the major issues

Kelton Lochridge

1y↑11

#4 is the hardest for me because I really hate offending people. It’s a horrible curse to have because it makes it so hard to actually find a therapist that works for me. I lied to my last therapist and told him I felt good enough to move on from therapy when really it just felt like none of what he was telling me was working. He asked me what worked well and what didn’t and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that nothing he was telling me actually helped so I lied and told him that his values cards were helpful.

With my therapist before that, I did a little better and came out and told her that I didn’t think it was working and asked if she could help me find a new therapist. It felt so painful and awkward to say and I felt like I was hurting her feelings, like I was tells her she wasn’t good enough.

I still have no idea how to tell a therapist it’s not working.

Joe Bolz

1y↑5

I know someone who was in a doctor's office along with a social worker. The guy was angry with the social worker and he blurted out "I feel like jumping out of a window." The social worker then called the police and the guy wound up in the psychiatric ward of a hospital. What the guy meant was that he was frustrated, he didn't mean it literally.

Slanith

1y↑5

Julie Arcand

1y↑273

30 years of PTSD therapy....whether it was my wonderful therapist or in the hospital; I just couldn't let them know how badly I was doing at home. I would over medicate like a crazy woman....I could not let them think that they were not helping me...but around year 20 I had a therapist who helped by allowing me to hold up a sign saying that I wasn't feeling well...aka...not going well. It really helped.

Serious Cat

1y↑2

In the public system in my country they tell you that they are helping you and that you will get it sooner or later and that's that. The therapist I got simply told me that she understands what I am saying, though I never saw any sign of that and none of her actual responses were any indication. I was too scared to find a new one because I barely even got this one. There was a process involved and I was only given therapy after lengthy appeals which I was scared I was not going to make through again.

Ian Fischer

1y↑73

#5 never tell your therapist that you are suicidal becuase they will have you arrested and you'll end up with a huge hospital bill which wont help your depression and anxiety at all because most people can't afford a big hospital bill.

Ariana Moon

43w↑7

Right and forcing pills on you and trapping you in a hospital jail is sooooo helpful. Oh then the doctor you suffer through days to see tells you you’re delusional when you say you feel awful and your legs are numb. Yeah $8,000 for that. The help hurts makes it worse and this is a barbaric reality that too many people are ignorant to who promote this system. Its horrible.

Kaydee draws lol

42w

Y’all are seriously missing the point

cliftut

42w↑1

@Kaydee draws lol Maybe, but I think part of the counterpoint is that a bad hospitalization can simultaneously manage to NOT make a person less suicidal, add layers onto existing trauma, and can mean a person is never honest to a therapist again. You can read some proper horror stories in the other top comments. If I had a suicidal friend, it would make me terrified to recommend therapy...

The thing that makes me so mad is that the people who are the most broken are also the ones who can least defend themselves against bad practice. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO ABOUT THAT?! They can't set boundaries, don't know how to read red flags... to a bad actor therapist (or even just an incompetent one), they can be a feeding buffet and a money-faucet to boot!

But if a person CAN set boundaries, do research to learn about the risks of therapy (everything in life has risk), if you are only mildly damaged or have worked through some of your material yourself, I think the chances of getting taken advantage of go down... and it kind of pisses me off. It's just frustrating how backward that seems (as someone with probably relatively fewer issues to work through than someone with recurring suicidal thoughts).

1 More Replies...

Michelle

1y↑4

Obviously therapy works better when you're honest with your therapist but that does not mean you are obligated to do or say anything you don't want to. Stay safe guys and remember that even attempting to get help is a huge step, you're doing amazing :)

Andrea Grimaldi

1y↑7

I think my last therapist did not like that I criticized Catholicism (without me knowing that she herself was Catholic) and ghosted me haha. Another time I shared a traumatic and violent experience and I felt like I was being treated like a case study by the therapist instead of listened to. I honestly don’t know if you can be super honest with every therapist.

Aylen Doucette

1y↑8

I have found most therapists too removed to feel any kind of trust. Or they were overwhelmed. I am shocked how often they say they can help me without really listening to my story or asking questions to find out more. When I don’t feel that, I am already on edge…

ryomitsui000

1y↑4

In my exp, when I've told my therapists that I had any issues with the "homework", I was usually given the oh-so-helpful explanation of: "Just do it anyways." Like journaling, even though I had confessed sever issues with motivation in doing mundane things and even things I WANTED to do. :shrug:

Zoe

1y↑596

As a social worker and someone who has personally dealt with suicide and suicidal ideation, it is SO important to have the discussion of what their procedure is early on. Thank you Kati for taking the harm reduction, trauma informed approach when it comes to suicidality, while also understand your ethical obligation and thank you for informing those who watch you about the RIGHT way to approach suicidality (in my opinion).
The therapist I had for a long time understood if I was having a panic attack and said “I don’t want to be here” or “I want to die”, she would de-escalate me and I’d be able to tell her hey, I’m safe, I was just freaking out. Whereas when I went to the ER during a panic attack and said “I don’t want to be here” (as in the exact same room they put me in after an attempt), they IMMEDIATELY put me on a pink slip (irrespective of me telling them what I meant by the statement), and shipped me off to the most unethical, traumatizing mental hospital. On the other hand, I’ve been to an okay mental hospital after an attempt (twice) and genuinely needed to be there.

George S

1y↑35

Which is precisely why I would never tell a therapist I was suicidal. Their attempts to “help” are as likely as not to worsen the problem(s) that lead you to the brink

David Moriarty-Schieven

1y↑32

The first time I got sent to a psych ward for suicidality, the psychiatrist I saw told me I couldn't be depressed because I still enjoyed my hobbies sometimes. He told me he thought I was just faking to get out of work and wouldn't sign a doctors note to excuse my absence.

The next time my dad took me to the psych ward I was understandably very very anxious about it :/
Thankfully I told the psychiatrist then what the previous one had said and they apologized and said no one should ever talk to me like that... But gave some perspective, that she thinks that what he meant was I don't have clinical depression, but BPD which has depressive episodes instead, because clinical depression would have made me not enjoy my hobbies anymore and not feel at all where BPD has intense swings

Cats Pajamas

1y↑23

When I needed to talk about suicidal thoughts or self-harm, I learned very quickly to begin by saying "I'm not at risk of suicide or self-harm, I don't have any inclinations, but I've been having some thoughts about it lately." Otherwise, yeah, you suddenly end up finding yourself on a 5150 72-hour hold involuntarily. Which is sometimes ironically the very thing that will drive you to follow through on those thoughts the moment they release you.

D.

1y↑7

Guys, how to deal with the therapist whom each time pushes you to uncomfortable dark questions? Over and over. I am afraid each time that if i don't answer, it will damage the progress. Is there any way to limit the harmful exposure, and to leave the therapist only with the technically sufficient information - and reliably denying any further unnecessary exposure that causes subjective harm and distress?

George S

1y↑8

@D. Well, the therapist will tell you that by not confronting those uncomfortable issues, you are impeding your own progress. It kind of depends on which you find more distressing--confronting the dark issues, or holding onto them. Tell them what you want to tell them, and don't be afraid to tell them you don't want to broach a certain topic. A good therapist will give you that space.

Just my $.02 worth

1 More Replies...

Ryleigh Elizabeth

I’ve been really guilty of #2 in the past. I didn’t realize how damaging it was until I started practicing mental health.

Ris W.

1y↑9

I lied to my first therapist because I overheard her that she’ll tell my parents anything that raises a flag, so fearful that anything I said would go back to my at the time toxic parents…

Doug Patterson

1y↑1

My first therapist told me that there were only two exceptions to absolute confidence/secrecy:
• believable expression of the intent to physically hurt someone, particularly a child
• a court order which have a high bar to clear

Hsan Najib's Space

1y↑2

Thank you Kati. That was so helpful. I’ve told my therapist about lies I’ve told, to minimise the blame on someone in my life. It was the most relief I’ve felt since starting. Thank you xoxo

Primavera

1y↑3

When I was a kid, I was being abused by my father. I told my therapist this, and instead of doing anything to help, the therapist told my dad. He almost killed me for telling anyone, and I have no doubt that if he’d found I’d opened up about it to anyone else, he actually would’ve. (not that I did tell anyone else until I had escaped)
Which is why I still struggle to tell my therapist things.

Mary Mae

1y↑573

Be aware that a therapist may have the power to commit a patient to a 72-hour involuntary hold if they say certain things about suicidal ideation.

jj Carvin

1y↑21

dont know about my comment being on hold or the government eating it from my other channel but in america it used to be 48 hours and now that applies to no matter what unless somebody smart enough to sign nothing

Holly Lockhart

1y↑77

I think it's important to remember that therapists and other health professionals have that "power" to protect the patient. The "certain things" the patient could say that would lead to using that power are about having an immediate plan. Saying something like "I sometimes think the world would be better off without me" or "I don't see any reason to live" or even "I know it's not going to get better and I can't take it any longer" are different from "I've given away my valuables, my mom is watching my cats, I've said good bye, I'm just waiting for my roommates to leave for the weekend". I would rather Cherise and Greg had been involuntarily committed rather than memorialized.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, or hopelessness you should share them with your therapist or other health professionals earlier so that it doesn't come to an involuntary hold commitment. If you are struggling with intrusive thoughts of suicide but you aren't planning suicide, you should share that too. There is help for you. And I hope that help doesn't come as a involuntary commitment; especially if you are sincerely not an immediate danger to yourself or others, but if you are an immediate danger to yourself I am so sorry but I do hope you are involuntarily committed. It is awful and I wish it wasn't. I wish every hospital mental health ward had properly staffed beds with compassionate nurses, social workers and support staff.

So yes, be aware that a therapist may have the power to commit a patient to an involuntary hold if they say certain things about suicidal ideation. But please don't be afraid of it or hide any thoughts because of it. Be honest and upfront about any thoughts of suicide because involuntary commitment is not the first choice of help, it is not the only option until it is.

I'm sorry for the rant. I know people who have been involuntarily committed. I know it was scary and a bad experience and I sincerely don't wish their experiences on anyone. But I know people who weren't committed too. And I can still call the people who were.

CurseTheDarkness

1y↑22

Be more worried about a divorce attorney subpoenaing their records and putting them on the witness stand in a child custody case.

ihartevil

1y↑2

@CurseTheDarkness actually the child either decides and no case or fifty fifty

the time when there needs to be a court case when the parent known to be abusive and somebody fights for pure rights against the childs wishes

almost always fifty fifty and i knew a child who got to choose and decided mom over dad but i think saw both but didnt want to switch from house to house (school might have been a factor)

very rare for a witness stand to be around

33 More Replies...

Lion

1y↑2

I rolled my eyes at the title of the video, but everything in here was stuff that actually made my therapy sessions more efficient and helped me progress a lot better.

Dug E Phresh

1y↑1

Thank you, just being open and understanding the basics of the interactions and expectations with a therapist REALLY helps!

rick kcir

49w↑5

Make sure you are actually being helped and not just milked for your $$$. Better yet, learn to help yourself. Only you can fight the giant "monsters" inside your mind.

So, Kati is confirming that you can ever ever trust any therapist and that it is never actually confidential and that you ALWAYS need to rehearse and filter everything before you put it on record forever to be used against you. Better never get arrested or a divorce or a background check if you open up to a licensed stenographer.

The message you should be taking from this video is that therapy is never safe, therapy always takes away your power and puts you at all sorts of risk. Therapy should be avoided at all costs. It is the help that will trap you and end your life as you know it!!! Therapy is NOT like on TV.

Avoid the zombie drugs too. If your therapist is all drugged up to cope, most I have tried are zombies, how are they going to help you with something they cannot manage themselves?

Stephen Howes

1y↑2

I thought for certain that opening up about masturbation addiction would be on the list for sure. I remember after leaving home and finally having all the privacy I never had really affected me so much that I needed to talk to a therapist about it. I sat in the chair face to face and as my heart was pounding she asked...what is it that made you want to go into therapy? I said...I have a very hard time approaching and talking to women. That was true and honest, and there was a lot or enough to discuss, but for the two years I saw her, I could absolutely never bring myself to approach how to mention or open up about masturbation addiction because it really made me feel petrified.

Neopopulas

1y↑1

The hardest thing i have to do with my therapist is doing the hard work. I have so many disagnosis around avoidance and things like that, that i sometimes push myself too hard and go to far too quickly to compensate, its a really hard line to walk and it helps to have a good therapist that understands and knows how far to push

AndreaNG

1y↑279

I love that I can actually talk about anything with my therapist and that she has never judged me or made a weird face. Even with hard topics such as suicide or sexuality. I feel safe with her. Therapy changed my life ❤

larry truax

1y↑17

Same with me and my therapist. Only thing I've found VERY difficult is telling of very dirty and or taboo sexual needs. I really wish there was a way to test these subjects.

The Panda King

1y↑7

Can't say the same about mine unfortunately. However, I changed therapist and now it's way better.

david petersen

1y↑6

Same here.. never a flicker of judgement in her eyes. It's important.🌞

Irene C

1y↑8

That is so nice. I wonder what it feels like not being judged. While this was what my therapist preached, I felt so judged by her many times. Some sessions were great, some sessions I felt worse than before I walked in. There were times I actually was so offended by her judgement I was mad for weeks afterwards. She always say the key was to mirror, validate, empathize. But when she tried to do that to me (mirroring what I have just said and attempt to validate ...etc.) it just felt like she was patronizing me and clearly she wasn't even listening. I think I might have continued to go see her but the pandemic hits and it was worse doing the sessions virtually. So I stopped. She was a nice lady though.

John Lowe

1y↑1

Exactly...anything...thats the point of theraphy.

15 More Replies...

Michelle Mahar

1y↑1

I have an amazing therapist who I do open up to. Still, just hearing to be open about abuse had me tearing up. I am very fortunate to have a therapist who really gets me and that has help me not only see how I was abused, but how I am not passing down that abuse to my kids (my greatest fear). Why is it so embarrassing to be abused? Even years later, I am so mad I stayed so long. Still working on that one.

Sheltered Sparrow

1y↑1

One thing I learned the hard way, as I found the right therapist is I told all. I wish I had started with things that weren’t a big deal and I was pretty much over. That way you can get a take on the direction they are going to go

V3ru5

Second half:
1) I'm curious, how a therapist knows if a patient has suicidal thoughts. I had a therapist who explained my problems (adhd and autism) with suppressed suicide thoughts. He used my lack of sexual desire and not wanting kids as proof.
2) this one is difficult. I keep finding out that experiences where I've been called "too sensitive" for speaking up were actually abusive. I just tell about every instance that made me feel horrible, even if that feeling was declared unjustified by the person I asked for help at the time it happened.

AzraelsEntertainment

1y↑2

It's great to see that you're sharing these things! I really breaks the stigma of therapy. <3

I remember one of the first things my current therapist told me was along the lines of, but not verbatim too; "I'm here to help you, but if anything I try to talk with you about makes you uncomfortable or if I push you too hard, tell me to fuck off and find someone you're more comfortable with."

I've been with this therapist for going on 4 years and they've been amazingly supportive while holding me to account for my poor decisions and actions.

Charlie Cat

1y↑1

One thing I like about a therapist that I think a lot of people forget about is that you don’t know them on a personal level so you don’t have to worry about them treating you differently. Also that they won’t judge you, it is their here to help you so they understand.

A cool pianist

1y↑370

I've only once had the courage to break the ice and go to therapy through my previous faculty. I've reluctantly but bravely shared that I've gone through a period in my life where I had almost committed suicide and the therapist cut me off and said something along the lines of "...Ok just so you know, if you do decide to commit suicide, we're not responsible." I was shocked and never went to therapy again. I hope to find a good therapist someday but not only is it expensive, it's a huge gamble. A lot of people working in that field are not qualified to do so, to say the least. And I never want to go through that again.

Lolli_Popples

1y↑52

I’m so sorry that your previous therapist was more devoted to liability against being sued than your well being. I hope someday you can find a form of therapy or mental health assistance that works for you and respects you and your needs.

M 2

1y↑26

What you say is true. I had a real loser back in the 90's. He did more harm than good. But once you find a good one, your life will change for the better.

MassiveGat

1y↑43

That's probably one of the most heartless things someone could ever be told. Damn dude.

O. Oak

1y↑21

I've had that happen to me too, only I got it in a letter 😂 Definitely a sign it's not the right office or provider for you!

Erich Brough

1y↑15

That was horrible behavior, and you deserved better. I'm glad you have the power to speak out about it. 🙏

7 More Replies...

Hayden Emmett Royle

1y↑2

Thanks for explaining these! I've been in therapy most of my life, and still learning new things about it.

HirokinKun

1y↑1

Thank you for this video, I'm actually pretty scared about telling a therapist exactly the truth but this video made me a little more confident about it

Azrael1

The 1 thing that got me to accept being more truthful and open with a therapist, was realizing its literally their job

Zakk

1y↑8

#2 happened to me a few weeks ago. I was stuck in people pleaser mode and didn't think it through when my therapist asked if I was going to be ok until next week. I just answered on autopilot. I tried to take my own life a few days after that appointment and spent some time on a ward. Ive been out for two weeks now and am definitely not ok still, but getting better. And my case worker took all the knives from my kitchen =)

elven rights

1y↑2

At my first therapist i was misunderstood and when i told my therapist that she didn't understand me correctly, she continued with her misunderstanding, leading the terapy to nowhere (just fleecing me of money). What could i be done (other than ending therapy with her and seeking another therapist)?

Rebecca Jones

1y↑272

I've been masking my feelings for so long that I always say I'm doing well even though I honestly don't know how I feel.

sellidionne

1y↑8

same.

Sara Steege

1y↑25

Been there. :O There's a lot of numbing that comes with that territory. I can tell you though that it can get better. Emotional processing takes practice -- funny how we're never really taught how to do it, and pick up bullshit ideas from our social rearing. XD

Exiex

1y↑22

Could you give yourself a little goal to say honestly "I don't know" to your therapist? Even if you slip up, you can say "sorry, that was automatic, I don't actually know". I've been doing this, it helps.

netherworlde

1y↑28

There is a term for that: "alexithymia." I struggled with the same thing in the past. You will read literature that suggests that because people with alexithymia have trouble knowing their own emotions, they are unempathetic to others. I disagree with that. There are many reasons people develop alexithymia, but most of it boils down to "I shouldn't be feeling (x, y, z emotions), so I won't." That doesn't mean you don't have emotions. It means you aren't processing them. If you keep that up, you lose the tether to your inner self.

It took a long while for me to get in touch with my emotions again, but I did it by allowing myself to unmask when I was alone. If I had the thought "I shouldn't feel this," I would ask myself, "And why not? What's the harm in crying a bit if no one sees me?" I ALLOWED myself (yes, gave myself permission) to feel things when I was alone without trying to reason it away. I turned to songs and films I connected with, practiced fully feeling the emotions they brought up. After I could finally identify my emotions, I wrote about them in my journal, had entire conversations with myself about them. I say conversations because "I shouldn't feel (x)" is not a conversation. When I moved beyond that, there was a dialogue that had been bubbling beneath the surface I had not been aware of in years. Eventually I got to the point where I could share these thoughts with close confidants, but I am still careful with what I share.

I don't know if any of this is of any help to you or whether it even makes sense, but I hope you find the way to listen to your emotions again.

Last Cadence

1y↑2

I hope someday you can have the emotional freedom that you deserve <3

3 More Replies...

321GhostRider123

When i got my first therapist i needed to fill out some questions to get a score to rank how depressed i am. They also asked about suicidal thought but just a yes or no question. I checked the yes square and then in therapy she asked me and i told her. But i'm pretty sure if she woulden't have asked me i would never told her.

Badiabdancer

1y↑9

#2 is super scary with depression. Sometimes clients will mask their depressive symptoms until I have them complete the PHQ9. Sometimes still. :/

0ther

1y↑7

I probably did most of them considering I was many times forced to go there. I never wanted help because of personal reasons but no one seemed to understand that. After some months of speaking with them, my conclusion was "I don't have any real problems"though I still needed to go there. The worst part was them telling my parents with me in the room about what they have talked with me. I know they have to say it, but it just felt like I was talking to my parents but reactions were different because I was a different person.

Gaming_Addict024

Honestly, by the time I finished the video, I started crying a bit.

Never been to therapy before (other than in highschool), despite it being recommended 2-3 times by professionals (school counselor & primary care doctor). I managed to get in touch with my school counselor from high school, and she agreed to be my therapist (we talked about this in highschool too). I’m kinda looking forward to my first session, but I’m also pretty nervous because I don’t really know what to expect. Gonna assume that it’s similar to therapy in highschool, but different at the same time. Even though this is 13 days late, thank you for making this video.

Have an awesome night!

Poroo Unicorn

1y↑4

I had a school psychologist for as long I could remember and they would talk about the things I would share in there, my teachers would always know for some reason, so that made me not trust any other sort of psychology or therapy

QueenSoap

1y↑174

While the advice in this video might make logical sense, this is actually easily said than done if you don't have access to good mental health programs. If you're using Medicaid in an area where the few options have more cases than they can handle and the counselors are overworked... saying the wrong thing can lead to what feels like punishment because next thing you're being told they can't service you anymore and you need to go elsewhere. You try to call other places, and they're also telling you they can't help you for one reason or the other for answering a question the wrong way. It honestly feels like a way to quickly thin the herd by asking you a set of questions they know you'll get wrong because you have no idea why they're asking. That's when you start to figure that maybe you should not share as much and only stick to a couple of things in order to get SOME help, because some help is maybe better than no help. Granted, I'm starting to think that bad help is worse than zero help. My point is, a lot of people lie because all the red tape doesn't really allow for full honesty. I'm sure this is different in private practices, and might even vary from state to state... but keep in mind that a ton of people are reacting to a system that has maybe shattered the spirits of those who went into the profession in the first place, and those people in return shatter those who go to them for help. It's like an abusive parent who was also abused as a child and the cycle continues.

Meredith

1y↑12

It's true. And finding a private practice therapist who offers sliding scale may be better.

corduroy kumquat

1y↑12

this should be the top comment holy moly you're insightful 👏

beakerbex

1y↑11

100% agree. The public mental health system and government funded organisations in many countries are less than desirable.
Private practice is very different and I think that's the place Kati is coming from.

Holly Russell

1y↑7

Yeah I was honest and ended up out of any therapy for over a year because nobody would help me because my case was too complicated. If someone would treat the ed, they couldn't do the bpd, if someone could do the bpd, they couldn't do the Ed, and so on. Then I finally found someone who would work with me and I've come so far. Even though I still struggle, I'm attempt free for over a year now (huge for me) thanks to her

Joo

1y↑5

It makes me wonder if many of us would be better off with peer-run groups that aren't exclusive... in the way that AA is structured. Alanon or LSAA are probably options for most of us.

2 More Replies...

wolfdreams2000

1y↑1

This is awesome! I've had an amazing therapist for several years now, and you sound similar in your laid back approach-love it

Kiwi Miwi

over half a year ago I had a therapy session in which my therapist talked to me about my weight.
I was at a clinic at the time and at my heighest weight I'd ever been, but they told me if I got any lower they'd have to admit me to somewhere else. I never mentioned my eating disorder before because I was afraid they'd force me, like the kids from across the hallway that had to sit in the playroom every day, to eat. I have misophonia and this would have been a very bad experience.
So he brought it up and I instantly started fluenty lying to him. That I'd never had any issues and that it was just in my genes to be on the smaller side. Truth is that in 2021 I was so restrictive that my hair fell out, I had hard times thinking coherent thoughts and my bones were clearly showing. I don't know how they never even had the idea that I might have an issue, especially since I was actually diagnosed (just not by them)

since then I have worked on it myself and though not really built normal habits definitely formed better ones. I don't restrict at all anymore and see my new rounder belly as a little victory. I haven't relapsed in months.
I want to finally open up about it, especially since I had a pretty toxic relationship with someone else that had an ed as well (they even went to the same clinic I was at), but I feel like such a liar. I just enter the room and can't help but pretend like all is well. I am happy, that's true, but I conceal the fact I haven't healed yet.
He's also just not that great of a therapist. He makes me feel like my relationships to toxic family members are my fault, like I'm the bad guy. He even laughed at me when I opened up about some brief sh and yelled at me when I was crying.
I avoid our sessions but I know that I still need therapy. I can't start all over with someone else, but I just can't open up to him. What should I do?

mikeala lee

1y↑3

I stopped therapy because it was very obvious they didnt care about me actually getting better. I would tell them what I was having trouble with and they'd expect me to do exactly that with no help or leadership. Yeah ok tell a kid with cerebral palsy they will need to walk up stairs to get the help they need. That's basically what they did to me, knowing I wouldnt be able to do that. Idk where any of you people on here live but clearly I need to move because iv been the target of nonstop human abuse since before i was even born where I live. Starting to think I just live in a shitty place where all the shitty people happen to be...

Siuan Swan

1y↑2

These tips should be posted in every therapists office!

‽ sømeøne ‽

So this is why my therapist and the PSW at my school like me! They always say they love how honest I am with them and I never understood why that was worth getting praise. I never thought people lied to their therapist, I loved mine the second I met her! I know they're there to help so sometimes I'll even start off a session with, "Alright, I.. um.. I'm having more suicidal thoughts.. um.. after *said event*, I'm sorry..."
Like, come on now, I'm there to get help for something, right? These people are here to help, so I'm telling them all my problems.

Suzanne P

1y↑89

If your abuser is narcissistic and elderly, such as a grandparent, they will almost always claim they are being abused and you are the abuser. They can use therapy or any means of systems that are supposed to protect people against you.

Patti F

1y↑17

I am going through that exact scenario right now with my mother. Take care. <3

Rebecca Caswell

1y↑1

My evil grandmother is a social worker /substance abuse counselor. I had to stop being in relationship with her because she is so deeply hurtful.

GLOBALTWITCHTTV

1y↑1

Every time I watch your videos it puts a smile on my face Kati, you really know what you're talking about and I'm sure your clients appreciate you very much. I just wanted to share my opinion about number 2, Sometimes it can be because people are used to giving a general response on how they're doing with others and forget you're there to listen. Not everyone has a solid support system or people they trust or it's safe to open up to. So it always seems a bit shocking when someone is.

VadulTharys

1y↑1

I was always honest with my therapist, admitted when I was doing bad, talking about my good days, and after three years I am no longer in therapy because I am at the place we agreed at the beginning was where I wanted to be. If I have a bad day or week I can call my therapist and get help, but so far the tools she gave me, and the confidence I was able to regain I am doing well.

Thiago Dias

So, all the 4 points can be reduced to honesty.
As someone who has done therapy for a long time, I can say I'm always worried about being the most honest as possible. Yet, sometimes I know I can fail with that as well. For an example, sometimes, when I was better and didn't have anything to say, I would dramatize some events to look worse than they actually were. Sometimes I would notice the therapist yawning and would think to myself: “Am I being a boring person?”. Maybe I should have asked her. Anyway, I wasn't totally well yet, nonetheless I would go to the therapist a little worse than I actually was only because of those little yawns she gave.
And then I realize two things: a) that she probably had a hard day and was just tired; and b) I should not make everything about myself, even during a therapy session.

batghoul

1y↑1

Wow, Ive been doing pretty much all the things I wasn't supposed to be doing. No wonder some thing just don't seem to be getting better, even with therapy.

Opening up and being honest about how I feel is pretty hard for me because of trauma, so I do lie a lot and tell my therapist I'm doing great when I'm not. Or sometimes I'll plan what I want to work on and what I want to talk about, and when I'm there the words just don't come out. In the rare occasion they do, I start to feel anxious and even shameful despite my therapist being super understanding and professional. It's something I'm hoping to work on but just realizing that I'm doing that stuff almost impulsively is actually pretty important for me, so I can start working on it. Tysm for this video Kati, I'll definitely watch more of your stuff

Theresia

1y↑1

Saying 'i am not comfortable talking about that right now' is good advice, but hard to apply many times. In my experiences, a lot of 'yes/no' questions are asked. If you refuse to answer they'll know the answer anyway.

Amanda Croft

1y↑111

One of the issues I was seeking therapy for was my dismissal/minimization of my issues. Therapy was used against me by my abusive mother.

Part of it is also wanting to believe I'm doing better than I am.

I didn't realize I was doing it recently and my therapist actually suggested meeting every other week "since I'm doing so good"

I've also had multiple therapists fire me cuz my issues were too difficult for them to help me with. So there's a fear that sharing everything will make them leave too.

J L

Seek out a real psychic or card reader.... far better and quicker answers on how to proceed in life, plus no "control-grid" licensee protecting their paycheck or workin'papers (license to charge insurance companies for services rendered) at the disrespect of your confidence and trust. 💁Rule by insurance companies, or license boards is never a good medical or psychological treatment strategy.

SpicyPepper1933

1y↑26

@J Lplease don’t suggest this to people, I know many people believe in things like that, but I don’t think it’s going to help in place of therapy. People often seek out things like physics as a last resort and can end up doing or thinking things that aren’t safe or healthy for them.

Luigi Provencher

1y↑3

Fire you?

Kevin

1y↑6

@Luigi Provencher You've never been fired by a therapist? Damn, lucky you. I've gotten fired by a couple now because they didn't feel qualified to help me (and one because they took it as an insult when I said I've had bad experiences with therapists, told me the problem was obviously that I wasn't trying hard enough and that if I was going to adopt that sort of attitude I needed to see someone else, but that lasted all of one session so I usually don't count it)

Luigi Provencher

1y↑2

@Kevin Nope. You can't be fired. Lol I don't think that it's the right word for it.

8 More Replies...

David Brussard - Composer

1y↑1

I've pretty much said all of those things. I want to please my therapist that they're doing a good job, but also don't want them to think that they're doing TOO good a job that they will want to discharge me. I'm going to start going back to therapy soon and I hope that I'll have progressed enough that I'll be able to be honest without worrying about making my therapist happy

Zantasy

1y↑2

I stopped telling my therapist about thoughts of suicide because any time I did it would just make things worse. I get that there are questions that they have to ask and that they need an answer too, but it just ends up being us sitting practically in silence for an hour because I just can't say it. Also I hate when my parents worry about me because it makes me feel like a burden and source of anxiety for them that they shouldn't have to have

manvillercwingchun

it seems in most cases its not worth it unless its being caused by medicine you were given. the potential to make shit worse seem s way to high

hedgehogs hill

To the second one. My therapist asked recently if "feeling good" means the absence of feeling bad. And yes it is. I believe she already knew it and realized it but I guess asking this question made a point on it. I often use tricks like "I consider myself as clean" if I talk to mental health Professionist. In the clinic there was only one therapist who asked following questions and I still feel like this therapist was trying to understand the patients the most, even I only had one group therapy with her. Even I don't lie (atleast if I can stop myself from doing it) they don't seem to really question it or to go behind my sometimes weird ways to tell things. To be fair I have no clue what therapists are thinking but it feels like that.

At first I thought "Ugh, you sold tell your therapist nearly like everything (if it matters)" but this seams to me like a really good video. Some of these things might not seam as important but they do really matter if we want the best help we can get. Good work!

Hazzmat

Since a lot of people are sharing their therapist horror stories here, I want to share my own, but first say that I think it feels therapeutic to share stuff anonymously with strangers over the internet. I have only had a handful of good therapists/meds providers. The term “nurse practitioner” has become a huge red flag for me. Most of the good people I saw were when I was still school-aged. The first bad therapist I encountered was when I went to a hospital specializing in OCD at 14. I’m 26 now, and the only big thing I remember about her is that she made me feel so awful during one family session, I attempted to cut for the only time. She also cut me off from saying goodbye to my mom after my dad and I had been yelling at each other. The second bad therapist was the one at my therapeutic boarding high school. She never addressed my problems with my dad, which I believe to be the main source of my anxiety and the trigger for my OCD manifesting. She never confronted him. Not even once, despite my pleas, and everything I told her about growing up with his verbal abuse. She was also unwilling to tell me that she was diagnosing me with autism, because she was afraid that I would “use it as an excuse”. Learning that I was an autistic girl was extremely meaningful to me, and it has made a lot of things make sense to me as I’ve reflected in the years since. That therapist also thought I should go to a group home after graduating, because of my lack of executive functioning skills, which my dad agreed with, and my mom was against. I believe spending all that time away from home as a teenager in stressful situations I otherwise wouldn’t have been in was very traumatizing. After graduating and going back home, it was only downhill. I remember seeing a really young girl in the same practice as my mom’s therapist, who had just gotten her PhD. She really threw the book (DSM) at me. She was nothing but confrontational and accusatory. I saw a nurse practitioner who I think was legitimately crazy. My parents (mainly my dad) kept pressuring me to either go to college or get a job, so I went to college, and the stress was causing me to not eat. This nurse practitioner was convinced I had an eating disorder, and kept threatening to 302 me, against my mom’s wishes, and she would stand up and wave her hands at us, yelling. She was a mother, too, and I felt bad for her kid. My mom and I had to walk out, and find someone else right away. That one was more of an emergency. The nurse practitioner after her thought I had an eating disorder too, despite me saying I didn’t, I was just stressed out. I want to write more, but I’m on mobile, and the typing is really lagging, so I’ll just end it here.

Belen LG

1y↑539

Sometimes I tell my therapist that I'm doing better than I actually am because at that time I'm actually feeling good and don't feel like remembering the lows. What helps me is to make notes (I use Evernote) of my emotions during the week when I feel down, and I prepare myself to discuss those during the session. Also, writting the emotions pre-session is a way to process them, so it is therapeutic by itself, and combined to discussing it in the session is a double win.

Edit: thanks for liking/commenting folks, it is a silly little thing but it made me feel less alone in my struggles

Sara Steege

1y↑24

This is a really good suggestion! It makes sense that sometimes, when you see your therapist you actually DO feel better; sorta like going to see the doctor or take your pet to the vet and then poof no symptoms. XD
I've definitely had the go through something awful, and then by the time the appointment comes up, it's resolved so...talking about it feels a bit moot. But I make a point to bring it up and share what the experience was like -- having notes and specific details to share definitely helps. Sometimes, just having that record is useful for figuring out what patterns are in play.

Sunshine Lavender

1y↑15

Same about the notes. But then when I read them I’m like nvm that doesn’t matter. But at the time it sooooo did
I feel you

Hazzmat

1y↑1

I do this too! I never end up writing notes though

FreedomIII

1y↑4

Right there with you on note-taking. I have ADHD and when working on getting the med and dose right, I've tried my best to write down anything I noticed with a date attached so my doctors and I have a timeline of what my symptoms look and feel like.

Deotexh

1y↑5

Hit close, I feel like each time I feel a little bit better in the moment it's just me lowering my guard, then getting hit by a very low mood without defense, getting my guard up and gradually letting it down as one moment I'll feel better, just for the cycle to repeat

4 More Replies...

g K

Kati. You are amazing. It touched me that you got a little teary eyed at the end.

Marsella D. Fyngold

I think something thats also great to tell your therapist is when you already know a concept lol. I would always smile and nod and be too scared to be rude to say anything during sessions. I always kind of felt a little like I was wasting time though. . . . But one therapist i had caught on that I had some psych and science background training and read up on a lot of therapy and psychology topics in my spare time and encouraged me to say if I already knew something so she wouldn't have to spend time explaining, say, about the autonomic nervous system, or what projection is etc.

Rowan Meridian Studios

How do you get over the fear of going to a therapist when you are scared they will send you to a psych ward? ( due to what people saying that's what what they do. that if you go to a therapist means you are crazy)

Summer12 Girl

1y↑1

This has made me want to do therapy again. Not that I had a bad therapist, she was really good, but I couldn’t talk to people about what I was feeling.

Krystine Hamre

Wow thanks for this. Really puts into perspective how much I change the way I seek based on the environment always trying to make sure I don’t get judged or hurt someone feelings. I needed this. I need therapy again

Gayle Overly

1y↑77

One time I was brutally honest with a therapist and they fired me. I was asking for help with my teenage daughter and told her I felt so helpless. She fired me instead of suggesting things. Worst therapist ever. It sucked. Made me feel so ashamed.

Musarrat19

1y↑5

The ending of the therapy was probably done in your own best interest. What if the subject matter was too provoking or hard for whatever reason, what if the therapist felt they weren't best placed to support you? If they didn't want to give a reason then they were probably trying to maintain boundaries.

Nyx

1y↑27

@Musarrat19 That's a massive leap and an assumption that doesn't match with what she just said. She was asking for help and felt helpless. If the therapist wasn't able to offer that help, they would have said so, and likely offered a referral elsewhere. They could have suggest the daughter start seeing a therapist, for example. They can't just can you and shut the door; very unprofessional. Has nothing to do with keeping "her best interests" in mind or maintaining boundaries. Too provoking?? Then get a new job or clarify what type of work you do. Ridiculous.

Luigi Provencher

1y↑1

Fired you?

Platinum242

1y↑2

@Nyx this is also a massive speculation because the only information we were given was that their sessions were terminated. It could have been anywhere from "oh you're having child problems? Get out my office immediately! I never want you here again!" or it could have been a discussion leading to dismissal and maybe even referrals which would be suggestions but to the patient's interpretation not suggestions with the problem the patient wanted. Regardless we don't know anything about this case other than the sessions were terminated and how the patient felt about it. (Which is also an inference because they told us "fired")

Steffi Siebe

1y↑1

Placeholder Name SO VALID
and then they do a shitty job then leave like that and gaslight a traumatized patient who theyve seen a long time into thinking they did everything wrong <--- cases like this happen too. traumatizing people bc they trust they wont.

3 More Replies...

Monique (Mona Bear)

1y↑3

I don't know if you will see this, but I was wondering what your opinion is. I have ADHD, extreme depression and anxiety, also have BPD (I also want to add there is speculation I also have autism but I need to be tested but can't be tested yet. But a doctor said they think it's possible) and I also have trauma from being SA'd for years while I was a child. I am also unmedicated, I'm in the process of maybe getting meds to help, but it's really a long process. The thing is, I often feel like I either am dead and living in the afterlife or I feel asleep and hasn't woken up yet. Like I am in a coma sometimes. And I usually use pain to make it more of a reality. Everyone (friends and family) in my life keeps discarding this and saying that I am overreacting. What is your opinion on how I need to handle this, because if I am being honest, it's driving me mental and I feel like crying every time this happens

101jir

1y↑2

I'd rather not share the details of what I went to therapy for online, but suffice to say I would act mean and I really wanted to stop being that way, desperately.

The first 3 or so therapists I went to referred me out after about 2 sessions or so. First one was incredibly good at helping my dad through overcoming trauma and anxiety. My dad knew I was looking for a therapist but her expertise was too distantly related. The second was very focused on self-acceptance. Again, in my case I was looking for more behavioral changes than emotion management alone. Life was doable, but I wanted to be a better person, and it wasn't helping. Third one tried charting frequency of incidents and timing. However, after a few sessions it was clear that contributing factors were so numerous and interacting with each other in bizarre ways that it was hard to discern anything useful from charting that I didn't already know. The last one was amazing! I was able to speak very directly about how I was thinking about things, and she could tell me very directly whether based on psychological theory it was likely to help or hinder my progress. It set up with some good momentum to ultimately overcome my issues, although I am always wary of falling back into old, unwanted patterns.

Shirali Prajapati

1y↑7

Summary: " Avoid Lies and be honest"

Follow the Flood

Untill those expressed thoughts are dangerous acts consentious or not... Therapist are nice and all for people "playing" the messed up pool... But if your in the deep end they are basicly a prison or mental hospital sentence.

J M

1y↑2

Thing is that in some places, confidentiality goes out the window if the therapist gets the slightest inkling that you're going to hurt yourself. I can understand them wanting to speak up if you're planning on hurting someone else but I can't ever accept a therapist going behind your back with the idea that he/she is helping you.

If I had to add something to this it's that if you're suicidal, either keep it to yourself or talk to someone you actually know and trust as a friend, rather than a therapist that you know nothing about. Ideally you keep that shit to yourself till the grave, that's the best way to not get locked up in a mental asylum, sadly.

Chris

i dont get what they think locking you up does....you have to get out eventually anyhow...whats so much better to being locked away as opposed to getting help on the outside?

memandylov

1y↑2

Last year I was sent to a mental hospital for suicidal ideation after a half-assed drunken attempt and I was so excited to actually have an opportunity to heal and grow until I got there and realized the mental hospital harmed me way more than it helped. I won't go into details because that's a whole story on its own but I ended up just having to pretend I was doing great until they let me out, even though what they put me through was only adding on to my trauma.
As part of my discharge agreement, I was required to go to a therapy session as a follow-up, and I opened up about SO many things and still didn't even make a dent in the full story. When she sent me home, she gave me homework to go outside for a certain amount of time every day. I tried for a few days but going outside doesn't help me process years of complex trauma. IT just made me hot and sweaty and uncomfortable on top of being depressed.
Unfortunately, I never even went to my next appointment and never saw her again because I can't drive and had nobody to take me there, but after that appointment, I really didn't want to go anyway. I've been told for years to go outside and be active and I'll feel better and having my therapist tell me to do that on our very first appointment when she barely got a chance to talk to me about what the real problem was felt like a slap in the face. I know she meant well but the last thing a person going through trauma-related depression wants to hear is "just go outside." No thanks, I'd rather be sad inside with air conditioning and a comfy blanket.

Lexie Parker

1y↑56

I thought I tend to show "I'm okay" too much to my therapist.. but during the earlier months of my MDD diagnosis, I reached my lowest point where i was starting to have ideations. I literally told my therapist in session and again on email that I was scared of how I was feeling and thinking but she completely let it pass and acted as if I was fine. It felt like I was waving a big white flag in her face but it was invisible to her. So was it really me or just my therapist can't pick up distress signals?

Theodore Wilson

1y↑16

I just went through this last week. I was trying to cry for help and she wasn't seeing it. Part of it is because I have a very hard time finding the right words to describe my anxiety and just how close I was teetering towards relapsing into agoraphobia like I did for 5 years. My long-distance girlfriend ended up saying something that seemed to start the snapping out of it stage. I want to thank her for it but I also don't want her to think that she has any obligation to "save" me from myself. I was just very deep in a spiral and her fear of losing me seemed to be the thing that finally broke through what I already knew was irrational thinking.

comicbook NERDisme

1y↑12

It’s frustrating, I had a similar situation where I was starting to have suicidal thoughts but my therapist totally let it slip. The next time I saw her, I said “hey you totally didn’t catch that I felt like this” and she tried to hospitalize me. Just can’t win.

Mystery Crow

I remember when I used to go to therapy, my parents always warned me to watch what I say to the therapist, or else they'll take me away and put me in foster care where they'll steal my things, beat me and SA me. That thought traumatized me a lot so I just stopped going because of the anxiety lol

Hans Game

1y↑1

seems like your parents have smth to hide...

Sacred •77

1y↑1

This is such a helpful video. Thank you. I have difficult but honest conversations with my therapist. Whether it's about what I feel angry about what he's said, or whatever I'm processing in my life. Sometimes, I'm surprised he sticks with me. PTSD is a terrible rollercoaster ride, and I can understand why no one likes to get on that ride with me! Very scary... However, the ride ends. I'm on meds that work, and a therapist that can work with me. I'm wishing all who struggle with intense challenges, many blessings and peace, the rare moments when we can find it. 🙏🏼

Breanna Piscitelli

1y↑1

Your first piece of advice was fantastic. I’m actually trying to figure out what’s really going on with me and I’m starting to realize that I could be on the spectrum somewhere. One of the biggest things that I have a huge issue with is masking. I don’t want people to think I’m not doing good because I’ve always been able to have this fake persona of me being happy. thankfully the therapist I’m seeing again is where I do this and I feel very comfortable with her. She actually will tell me when I’m doing it and ask me to be myself.

Load More Comments...

More Comments

just now