Tig Notaro is an American stand-up comic. "Tig" is a childhood nickname. He… Read Full Bio ↴Tig Notaro is an American stand-up comic. "Tig" is a childhood nickname. Her great-great-grandfather was the mayor of New Orleans.[1] She was born in Jackson, Mississippi and raised in Pass Christian, Mississippi, but later moved to Texas, where she attended high school. She dropped out of school, moving to Denver, Colorado, where she became involved in the music industry, setting up as a band manager, under the name "Tignation Promotions".
Her work promoting bands took her to Los Angeles, where she tried stand-up for the first time. Notaro has been featured on Comedy Central Presents and The Sarah Silverman Program, latterly as a lesbian police officer. She collaborates frequently with writing partner Kyle Dunnigan.

Artificial Insemination
Tig Notaro Lyrics

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You guys don’t wanna have kids
Do you? Ya I do with all of you
I think we’re gonna make great parents
The weekends are gonna be tough
Splitting up the time but we’re gonna do it
I think I have to get artificially inseminated
I love that it’s called that.
Cause it not like you’re not getting inseminated.

You’re getting inseminated.
If it was artificial you’d go in for your doctor’s appointment
And they insert one of those sponge creatures inside of you that expands
And nine months later …… a velasture rapture
Hey somebody artificially inseminated me.
Who is the wise guy?
But I also love the idea of getting artificially inseminated

And just giving it up for adoption
It turns out I don’t want that child after all.

Overall Meaning

In Tig Notaro's song "Artificial Insemination," she shares a humorous take on the decision to have children with her partner. While acknowledging the difficulties that come with raising kids, she expresses her excitement at the prospect of becoming a parent with her partner. Notably, she uses the phrase "artificial insemination" multiple times throughout the song, seeming to revel in the absurdity of the term. She imagines a scenario in which she is "artificially inseminated" and then gives up the child for adoption, highlighting the complexity of the decision to have children.

Tig Notaro's lyrics are effective at communicating her perspective on parenthood. While acknowledging the challenges, she expresses an undeniable sense of joy and excitement at the prospect of having kids. However, she also acknowledges the power of choice in this decision - even if she gets to the point of being artificially inseminated, she retains the ability to decide if she wants to keep the child or give it up for adoption. Ultimately, the song is a lighthearted take on a deeply personal and complex decision.

Overall, "Artificial Insemination" is a unique and engaging song that tackles an important topic with humor and insight. Tig Notaro's perspective is refreshingly honest, and her lyrics offer a significant contribution to conversations surrounding parenthood, choice, and family.

Line by Line Meaning

You guys don’t wanna have kids
Do you have any interest in having kids?

Do you? Ya I do with all of you
Yes, I want to have kids with all of you.

I think we’re gonna make great parents
I believe that we will make excellent parents.

The weekends are gonna be tough
We will face challenges on the weekends.

Splitting up the time but we’re gonna do it
We will divide the time between us and handle it.

I think I have to get artificially inseminated
I believe I need to undergo artificial insemination.

I love that it’s called that.
I find it amusing that it's named artificial insemination.

Cause it not like you’re not getting inseminated.
Because you are still being inseminated.

You’re getting inseminated.
You are undergoing insemination.

If it was artificial you’d go in for your doctor’s appointment And they insert one of those sponge creatures inside of you that expands And nine months later …… a velasture rapture
If it were truly artificial, you would visit a doctor who would insert a sponge creature that would expand and result in a robotic birth in nine months.

Hey somebody artificially inseminated me.
Someone has performed artificial insemination on me.

Who is the wise guy?
Who is responsible for performing this on me without my knowledge?

But I also love the idea of getting artificially inseminated And just giving it up for adoption
I also find entertaining the notion of going through artificial insemination and opting to give the child up for adoption.

It turns out I don’t want that child after all.
As it turns out, I have changed my mind about wanting to keep the child.

Contributed by Ellie W. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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