Happy Birthday
Tim Kasher Lyrics


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I've forgotten how it feels to be feeling absolute
And I wonder if it's real: all I see is black and blue
Are you ever coming back? Or is winter going to stay?
Burning off all of my lies, happy birthday.

This is me when I am sad.
This is me when I am bored.
I'll just drink myself to sleep.
I guess this phone just doesn't work.
And I never wanted this
But I guess I never knew
Exactly what I wanted
From you.
Happy birthday.

Seems I've ruined everything
And it's not my first time.
I have ruined everything
Every time I get it right.

Are you ever coming back? Or is my fear going to stay?
Cockroach crawling up my back,
Guess I've made a mistake.
And I guess I've made a mistake
I guess I've made a mistake
I guess I'm your big mistake.




Your birthday present never came
Happy birthday.

Overall Meaning

The Tim Kasher song 'Happy Birthday' projects the emotions of the singer, who is experiencing a sense of incompleteness and misery. The lyrics convey that the singer has lost the ability to experience happiness and is left with feelings of emptiness and despair. This is illustrated in the opening line where the singer talks about the inability to feel 'absolute'. The singer pleads with the other person to come back, indicating that they are the source of their happiness. The singer is in a state of confusion, reflected in the line, 'I guess I never knew exactly what I wanted from you'. It is implied that the relationship between the singer and the other person has failed, leading to the sense of despair reflected in the lyrics.


The lyrics also allude to the temporary escape from reality the singer finds in alcohol, which is depicted in the line, 'I'll just drink myself to sleep.' The singer's inability to forget the person they long for is emphasized in the lyrics, 'Are you ever coming back?', which also adds to the overall melancholic tone. The line about the phone not working represents the feelings of isolation and loneliness experienced by the singer.


Overall, the song portrays the pain and sadness that arises from the failure of a relationship and the inability to forget the person responsible for the disappointment.


Line by Line Meaning

I've forgotten how it feels to be feeling absolute
I can't remember what it's like to feel completely content and satisfied in every way.


And I wonder if it's real: all I see is black and blue
I'm questioning the validity of my experiences, as everything I encounter lately feels painful and harsh.


Are you ever coming back? Or is winter going to stay?
I'm hoping you'll eventually return to me, but I'm also aware that my bleak and unchanging feelings may persist indefinitely.


Burning off all of my lies, happy birthday.
I'm exposing all of the falsehoods I've been using to hide from the truth, presenting you with a vulnerable and honest version of myself.


This is me when I am sad.
I'm showing you the side of me that is deeply unhappy and emotionally drained.


This is me when I am bored.
I'm explaining that I have nothing to fill my time and that I'm feeling unproductive and unfulfilled.


I'll just drink myself to sleep.
I use alcohol as a coping mechanism when my emotions are too much to bear.


I guess this phone just doesn't work.
I'm feeling isolated and alone, and even reaching out to others is proving to be difficult.


And I never wanted this
I never expected to feel this low and alone.


But I guess I never knew
I'm realizing that I didn't have a complete understanding of my own emotions and didn't see this coming.


Exactly what I wanted
I'm confused about my feelings and desires, and unable to articulate what it is that I truly want out of life and from relationships.


From you.
I'm unsure of what I'm expecting or hoping for from you specifically.


Seems I've ruined everything
I feel like I've messed up and caused damage, and that this is a pattern of mine.


And it's not my first time.
I've struggled with these mistakes before and don't feel capable of preventing them from happening again.


I have ruined everything
I'm taking responsibility for my actions and the negative consequences that have come from them.


Every time I get it right.
It seems that I inevitably ruin everything that seems to be going well, no matter how hard I try to keep things positive and functional.


Are you ever coming back? Or is my fear going to stay?
I'm overcome with anxiety and uncertainty about whether you'll return to me, and whether I'll ever be able to rid myself of my perpetual anxieties.


Cockroach crawling up my back,
I'm feeling overwhelmed and uneasy, and this image symbolizes the sense of fear that I can't shake off.


Guess I've made a mistake.
I'm admitting fault and realizing there are things I could have done differently to avoid the current state of things.


And I guess I've made a mistake
I'm reflecting on my failures and wrongdoings, feeling regret and longing to make amends.


I guess I'm your big mistake.
I feel like a big annoyance or hindrance to you, and that my shortcomings have ruined any hope of us continuing together.


Your birthday present never came
I've failed to deliver on something I promised, and this gift serves as an example of that failure.


Happy birthday.
Despite all the negatives, I'm still sending birthday wishes, even if they are tinged with melancholy and disappointment.




Contributed by Samuel S. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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