Christmas Creed Song Parody
Toby Turner Lyrics

Well I just love the holiday.
I really enjoy this time of year.

Christmas Lights. Santa's Sleigh.
I'm excited by the decorations and traditions of the season.

Early rise, I'm on the way.
I wake up early and eagerly for Christmas day.

When to my surprise, under the tree...
To my shock and dismay, I found that under the Christmas tree...

the presents were open.
Someone had already opened the gifts that were meant for me.

Who opened my presents? Who the fuck broke in
I'm angry and frustrated, trying to figure out who would have done this, and how they gained access to my property.

and started opening my fucking presents? Who does that?
It's completely unacceptable and disrespectful for someone to open someone else's gifts without permission, and I'm incredulous that someone would actually do this.

My presents were open. They didn't touch like anything.
While it's somewhat of a relief that nothing appears to have been stolen, the fact that the presents were opened is still a major violation.

Just the stuff under the tree. They didn't take the stuff the presents had inside...
Whoever did this seemed to have a strange motivation - they opened the boxes but didn't actually take anything from inside them.

they just ripped the wrapping paper off. Fuck those guys.
The culprits clearly had no respect for other people's property or boundaries, as evidenced by their careless and destructive behavior. I'm angry and don't have any sympathy for them.

My presents were open! They ruined the surprise.
The whole point of giving and receiving gifts is to create a sense of surprise and delight - this experience has completely tarnished that element of the holiday for me.

Broke into my place and opened everything.
I still can't believe that someone would do something so invasive and disrespectful - it's a major violation of my sense of safety and well-being.

My fucking presents. And left them neatly arranged.
I'm further frustrated by the fact that the culprits went out of their way to arrange the gifts in a way that was almost mocking to me. It feels like they got some kind of sick pleasure out of violating my space and property in this way.

Guess I'll tell my mom... to rewrap everything.
Sadly, the experience has ruined the sense of joy and wonder that typically accompanies the exchanging of gifts - I'll have to explain the situation to my family and try to find a way to reclaim some of that feeling in the aftermath of such a violation.

My fucking presents.
I'm still angry and frustrated by the whole experience, but I'm trying to work through those emotions and find a way to enjoy the holiday season despite this setback.