Si hubiera naci'o varón
If I had been born a boy

Hubiera naci'o en un callejón
I would have been born in an alley

Flaco, alto, moreno, con lo' moño malo, una bocota y un güevón
Skinny, tall, dark-skinned, untidy hair, big-mouthed, and well-endowed

Hubiera destapao' to'a' la prima mía
I would have slept with all my female cousins

En una orgía to'a' la tía' mamándome el güevó en fila
In an orgy with all my aunts, taking turns giving me oral sex

Me hubiera hecho pila 'e paja brechando a to'as la' vecina'
I would have masturbated to all my neighbors

Me hubieran encontrao' con Carolina en la cocina
They would have caught me with Carolina in the kitchen

Me hubieran dao' pila 'e palo' por ser un menor maniático
They would have beaten me for being a perverted minor

Malcriao' en su casa y en lo' coro' problemático
Ill-mannered at home and a troublemaker in the streets

Un menorcito arretao', agentao', malapalabroso y mal acostumbrao'
A young guy with a bad attitude, aggressive, foul-mouthed, and poorly behaved

Hubiera estao' en la escuela, pero a bajo e' la butaca
I would have been in school, but sitting at the back of the classroom

Dándole deo' en la popola a mi amiga Renata
Fingering my friend Renata's butt

Pero nací con un toto con mente de tiguerón
But I was born with a vagina and the mind of a thug

En mi adolescencia no me iban aguanta'
In my adolescence, they couldn't stand me

Por tecato y delincuente, rialengo a temprana eda'
Because I was a drug addict, delinquent, and always laughing at a young age

Hubiera 'ta'o en la calle rascándome lo' do' grano'
I would have been on the streets scratching my crotch

Los phillie' y lo' cigarro' cogiendo fiao' en colmado
Bumming Phillies and cigarettes at the store on credit

Tragándome lo catarro, robando carro
Hustling, stealing cars

Con un machete al la'o del guebo guardao' como Napo
Carrying a machete hidden by my crotch like Napo

Con un componente de lo' má' delincuente'
With qualities of the biggest delinquents

Casado con un cuero de los má' bajo y demente
Married to a woman who is low-brow and insane

De lo' que guardan la droga pa' guillala entre la teta'
From those who hide drugs between their breasts

Que me enrolala la guasa mientra le mame la creta
Who wrap their joint while I lick their clit

Me hubiera bucao' mi gringa pa' que me mande mi dólar
I would have found myself a white girl to send me money

Te apue'to que le diría 'Mami, I love tu popola'
I bet I would say 'Mommy, I love your pussy'

Una payola pa' Muño, el campo, casa de Anne, jaja
A bribe for Muño, the field, Anne's house, haha