Cemetery Polka
Tom Waits Lyrics

Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He's a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse
Plays accordion for Mr. Weiss

Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William
Made a million during World War Two
But they're tightwads and they're cheapskates
And they'll never give a dime to you

Auntie Mame has gone insane
She lives in the doorway of an old hotel
And the radio is playing opera
All she ever says is go to hell

Uncle Violet flew as a pilot
And there ain't no pretty girls in France
Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint
They say he never keeps it in his pants

Uncle Bill will never leave a will
And the tumor is as big as an egg
He has a mistress, she's Puerto Rican
And I heard she has a wooden leg

Uncle Phil can't live without his pills
He has emphysema and he's almost blind
And we must find out where the money is
Get it now before he loses his mind

Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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Comments from YouTube:


This almost sounds like something out of Nightmare Before Christmas

Matthew Phillips

I first discovered Tom because I love Halloween radio on Pandora and it is constantly playing something from nightmare before Christmas so I also consider them close

Axel von Fersen

100% yes, it reminds me of "This is halloween" from that movie.

Serpentina Dahlhaus

I've always thought this!

Robert Kess

That was the wildest thing I think I've ever heard. It's one of my favorite Waits songs, so weird, and to think a group could get together ad to the weirdness is so satisfying. Most people wouldn't even know the song to begin with, but when you do it makes the performance all the more amazing. Thank for being crazy enough to do this and then post it. That's badassery.

Hannah Fraser

Love ❤️ this

Goosebumps Emiliano

God I love this!!!!

Justin Lopez

If I ever did have a funeral I would want the this playing loud while everyone's entering the cemetery and lowering the casket.

Evan Codsworth

What a genius.

s bryndin

Uncle Biltmore, uncle William, made a million during world war two

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