Wrong Side of the Road
Tom Waits Lyrics

Put a dead cat on the railroad tracks
Disturbing people is your thing, and you don't care if it's a cat or a human, as you don't see them as different.

When the wolf bains blooming by the tressle
You revel in the idea of the weird, even when it's dark and doesn't make sense.

And get the eyeball of a rooster
You enjoy collecting unique and bizarre objects, for reasons even you can't explain.

And the stones from a ditch
You believe that beauty can be found in anything, even the mundane.

And wash em down with bilge water
Your tastes and habits are strange, and you wouldn't be stopped by something as minor as the dirtiness or oddness of what you consume.

And say you'll never snitch
You're willing to go to any length to keep your secrets safe, from promising not to snitch to taking extreme measures.

Take the buttons from a yellow jacket
You're not above taking things off others, even if they are still living.

The feather from a buzzard
You don't shy away from the macabre and morbid, and often find beauty in it.

And the blood from the bounty hunter's cold black heart
You take pleasure in enacting revenge on people, especially those that have wronged you.

Catch the tears of a window
You have no qualms about breaking into places and taking things that don't belong to you.

In a thimble made of glass
You don't need much to satisfy yourself, and often appreciate things for what they are, no matter how small or insignificant.

Tell your mama and your papa
You have a rebellious streak and don't mind displeasing authority figures or those that are close to you.

They can kiss your ass
You're confident in yourself and aren't afraid to speak your mind or stand up for what you believe in, even if it goes against what others want.

Poison all the water in the wishing' well
You have an inherently destructive side to you, and don't see the harm in putting others in harm's way.

And hang all them scarecrows from a sycamore tree
You enjoy chaos and are often entertained by others' distress, even if it causes problems.

Burn down all those honeymoons
The life of others is not your concern, and if something gets destroyed, that's just the way things go.

Put em in a pillow case
You can't leave well enough alone and enjoy situations where you can make things worse than they already are.

And wait next to the switch blades at the amusement park for me
You love danger and find pleasure in putting yourself in harm's way (and by extension, making others feel uneasy).

Strangle all the Christmas carols
You relish in ruining the things that others enjoy, just to see the look on their faces.

Scratch out all your prayers
You're atheistic or skeptical of organized religion and don't see the point in praying or participating in religious customs.

Tie em up with barbed wire
You're not above doing something particularly cruel if it gets you what you want or if it's just for the sake of revenge.

And push them down the stairs
You take pleasure in seeing others suffer or struggle, especially if it's related to their own misfortunes or perceived shortcomings.

And I'll whittle you a pistol
You're resourceful and enjoy creating things out of seemingly nothing or everyday materials.

For reepin' nightmares off the blinds
You're willing to do whatever it takes to get rid of your anxiety, even if it's not in the most healthy or productive way.

Those sunsabitches always seem to sneak up from behind
You're paranoid and wary of others, often resorting to underhanded tactics or aggression before even knowing if someone is truly out to get you.

Syphon all the gas from your daddy's pickup truck
You don't see boundaries or respect others' property, instead focusing on your own needs and wants first and foremost.

Fill up Johnny's T bird
You're generous with others (in some ways) and don't mind giving away some of what you have, even if that means taking from someone else.

I got a couple bucks
You aren't rich or powerful, but you know how to make do with what you have, no matter how little it is.

Put on little perfume and ribbon in your hair
You enjoy beauty and have a soft spot for the delicate and feminine, even though it doesn't quite fit with the rest of your persona or actions.

Careful that you don't wake up the hounds
You know how to be sneaky and avoid getting caught or getting others involved, but you don't always put in the effort to be thorough in your plans.

Tear a bolt of lightning off the side of the sky
You have an enormous ego and believe that you can accomplish anything you want or take anything that you desire, no matter the cost or the consequences.

And throw in the cedar chest
You store your treasures and secrets in bizarre and unexpected ways, relishing in the obscurity of it all.

If you want me to tell you why
You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you do the things you do, because it's all part of the strange, mad, wild ride that is your life.

Bring the gear shift knob from a forty nine mere
You're not sentimental or sympathetic, and don't understand why others bother to hold onto things that are so mundane or outdated.

And lay down here beside me
You're not afraid to be yourself around others or to show vulnerability, especially when it's with someone that you trust or are close to.

Let me hold you in the dirt
You're not one for comfort or cleanliness, and would rather exist in the raw, unfiltered world than in a sanitized, fake one.

And you'll tremble as the flames
You enjoy thrills and excitement, even when it's painful or potentially dangerous.

Tear the throat out of the night
You're violent and destructive, and don't care if you hurt others or damage the world around you as long as it's in service of what you want.

Sink your teeth into my shoulder
You're passionate and intense, often getting lost in the moment and the emotions that come with it.

Dig your nails into my back
You're willing to push boundaries and test the limits, even if it means going too far or causing injury (emotional or physical) to someone else.

Tell that little girl to let go of my sleeve
You want full control of everything and won't let anyone stand in your way, no matter how small or insignificant they seem.

You'll be a woman when I catch you
You're often attracted to danger and are willing to push yourself past your limits (or others' limits) just to see what happens or to prove yourself to yourself/others.

Then with my double barrel shotgun
You're not afraid to take things to the next level and are willing to resort to violence if that's what it takes.

And a whole box of shells
You're prepared for anything and have a plan for everything, no matter how unlikely or crazy it might seem.

We'll celebrate the fourth of July
You find joy in chaos and destruction, even if it comes at the expense of others or is perceived as childish or cruel.

We'll do a hundred mph
You live life on the edge and aren't afraid to take risks, even if they come with the possibility of failure or injury.

Spendin' someone else's dough
You're not above taking advantage of others or using them for your own personal gain, no matter the consequences or the harm it might cause.

And we'll drive all the way to Reno
You're not one to take the easy way out or to run from a challenge or an adventure, even if it's unclear what the endpoint might be.

On the wrong side of the road
You don't live life by the rules, instead carving your own path and creating your own sense of morality and ethics.