Funky Cold Medina
Tone Loc Lyrics

Cold coolin' at a bar, and I'm lookin' for some action
I'm sitting at this bar and I'm hoping something interesting will happen

But like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction
Just like Mick Jagger sings, I'm not finding what I'm looking for.

The girls are all around, but none of them want to get with me
There are women in the bar, but none of them are interested in me

My threads are fresh and I'm lookin' def, yo, what's up with L-o-see?
I'm well-dressed and feeling confident. Why don't the ladies notice me?

The girls is all jockin' at the other end of the bar
The women are all hanging out at the other side of the bar

Havin' drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I'm the star
They're drinking with someone I don't know, even though I'm the one who should be getting their attention.

So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I decided to go over and check out the scene on the other side of the bar

I asked the guy, "Why you so fly?" he said, "Funky Cold Medina"
I asked the man hanging with the ladies how he was so successful with them, and he told me it's because of the Funky Cold Medina

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
The man revealed to me a secret on how to attract more women

Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real quick
Just add some Funky Cold Medina to your drink, and the ladies will be all over you

It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
He claims the Funky Cold Medina is even better than alcohol or other love potions

A couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lap
A few sips of the Funky Cold Medina, and the woman will be all over you

So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
When my dog wanted some of the Funky Cold Medina, I gave him a little taste

Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg
After drinking the Funky Cold Medina, my dog became very excited and started humping my leg

He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner
My dog was aggressive before trying the Funky Cold Medina, but now he's much calmer

But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina
Now all the dogs in the neighborhood are coming to my house looking for the Funky Cold Medina

I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena"
I approached a woman at the bar who introduced herself as Sheena

I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
I assumed that if I gave her some Funky Cold Medina, she'd be interested in me

She said, "I'd like a drink," I said, "Ehm - ok, I'll go get it"
She agreed to have a drink, and I offered to get it for her

Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it
After drinking the Funky Cold Medina, she licked her lips and was into me

So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
I brought her back to my place, and everything went according to plan

But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
To my surprise, once we were undressed, I discovered that Sheena was actually a man in drag

So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
I kicked him out because I don't get down with trans women

Back in the saddle, lookin' for a little affection
Moving on from the Sheena incident, I was once again looking for some companionship

I took a shot as a contestant on "The Love Connection"
I tried my luck as a contestant on the popular TV show 'The Love Connection'

The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner
I was chosen as the winner by the show's audience

I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
I took my date to the Hilton hotel to have dinner and some Funky Cold Medina

She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin' soon what I'll be gettin'
After a few drinks, I was beginning to think where the night might lead

Instead she started talkin' 'bout plans for our weddin'
But instead of getting intimate, she began discussing the prospect of us getting married

I said, "Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I'll be seein' ya"
I had to slow her down and explain that I wasn't ready for such a serious commitment

That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina
Because of that experience, I learned not to mess around with the Funky Cold Medina