Anything Goes
Tony Bennett (w/ Count Basie) Lyrics

Times have changed
The world has moved on

And we've often rewound the clock
But sometimes we look back

Since the Puritans got a shock
Ever since the Puritans got a surprise

When they landed on Plymouth Rock.
After landing on Plymouth Rock

If today
In this day and age

Any shock they should try to stem
If anyone wants to put a stop to anything shocking

'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Instead of getting the surprise

Plymouth Rock would land on them.
They would be the ones surprised

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
In the past, just seeing a bit of stocking

Was looked on as something shocking.
Was considered scandalous

But now, God knows,
But nowadays

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

Good authors too who once knew better words
Even authors known for using proper language

Now only use four-letter words
Now use profanity

Writing prose.
Even in their writing

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

If driving fast cars you like,
If you enjoy driving fast cars

If low bars you like,
If you like going to seedy bars

If old hymns you like,
If you prefer old religious songs

If bare limbs you like,
If you enjoy seeing exposed skin

If Mae West you like,
If you're a fan of Mae West

Or me undressed you like,
If you want to see me naked

Why, nobody will oppose.
No one will object

When ev'ry night the set that's smart is in-
When the smart, fashionable people

Truding in nudist parties in
Are attending nudist parties

Studios.
In studios

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)
When Mrs. Ned McLean (God bless her)

Can get Russian reds to "yes" her,
Can get Russians to agree with her

Then I suppose
Then it's fair to say

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

When Rockefeller still can hoard en-
When Rockefeller can still hoard

Ough money to let Max Gordon
Enough money to let Max Gordon

Produce his shows,
Produce his shows

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

The world has gone mad today
The world is crazy today

And good's bad today,
Good is bad today

And black's white today,
Black is white today

And day's night today,
Day is night today

And that gent today
That man today

You gave a cent today
You gave a penny today

Once had several chateaux.
Once owned several chateaus

When folks who still can ride in jitneys
When people who can still ride in jitneys

Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys
Learn that Vanderbilts and Whitneys

Lack baby clo'es,
Don't have baby clothes

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

If Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction
If Sam Goldwyn can convincingly

Instruct Anna Sten in diction,
Teach Anna Sten how to speak

Then Anna shows
Then Anna demonstrates

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up

Now turns a handspring landing up-
Now does acrobatics

On her toes,
On the tips of her toes

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

Just think of those shocks you've got
Think about the shocks you've experienced

And those knocks you've got
And the hard times you've had

And those blues you've got
And the sadness you've felt

From that news you've got
From the news you've received

And those pains you've got
And the pain you've felt

(If any brains you've got)
(If you have any brains)

From those little radios.
From those small radios

So Missus R., with all her trimmin's,
So Mrs. R., with all her adornments

Can broadcast a bed from Simmons
Can advertise a bed from Simmons

'Cause Franklin knows
Because Franklin is aware

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable