Anything Goes
Tony Bennett and The Count Basie Orchestra Lyrics

Times have changed
The world is not the same as before

And we've often rewound the clock
We have gone back in time many times

Since the Puritans got a shock
Since the Puritans were shocked by new experiences

When they landed on Plymouth Rock.
When they arrived in Plymouth, Massachusetts

If today
If in the modern day

Any shock they should try to stem
Any shock they should try to prevent

'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Instead of experiencing the same shock they did

Plymouth Rock would land on them.
They would be the ones experiencing the shock

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
In the past, seeing even a bit of a woman's leg was scandalous

Was looked on as something shocking.
It was considered indecent and unacceptable behavior

But now, God knows,
But nowadays

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

Good authors too who once knew better words
Even skilled writers who used sophisticated vocabulary

Now only use four-letter words
Nowadays only use crude, vulgar expressions

Writing prose.
Writing literature

If driving fast cars you like,
If you enjoy driving fast cars

If low bars you like,
If you like going to cheap bars

If old hymns you like,
If you like traditional church songs

If bare limbs you like,
If you like looking at naked or exposing one's arms or legs

If Mae West you like,
If you like the actress Mae West

Or me undressed you like,
or if you like seeing Tony Bennett undressed

Why, nobody will oppose.
No one will object to that

When ev'ry night the set that's smart is in-
When every night the fashionable group goes

Truding in nudist parties in
Intruding to nudist parties

Studios.
Artist's workroom

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)
When Mrs. Ned McLean, bless her soul:

Can get Russian reds to "yes" her,
Can convince Russians to agree with her

Then I suppose
Then I assume

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

When Rockefeller still can hoard en-
When Rockefeller still has the capability of keeping

Ough money to let Max Gordon
Enough money to allow Max Gordon

Produce his shows,
To produce his performances

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

The world has gone mad today
The world has become crazy nowadays

And good's bad today,
Good things are considered bad nowadays

And black's white today,
Opposite things seem to be true today

And day's night today,
What used to be day is now night

And that gent today
And that gentleman today

You gave a cent today
To whom you gave a penny today

Once had several chateaux.
Once owned several castles

When folks who still can ride in jitneys
When people who still ride in small buses

Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys
Discover that Vanderbilts and Whitneys

Lack baby clo'es,
Don't have enough baby clothes

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

If Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction
If Sam Goldwyn can strongly

Instruct Anna Sten in diction,
Teach Anna Sten pronunciation

Then Anna shows
Then Anna demonstrates

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
When you hear that Lady Mendl gets up

Now turns a handspring landing up-
Now does a somersault and gets up

On her toes,
On her tip-toes

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

Just think of those shocks you've got
Just remember the surprises you've experienced

And those knocks you've got
And the setbacks you've experienced

And those blues you've got
And the sadness you've felt

From that news you've got
From hearing the news

And those pains you've got
And the pains you've felt

(If any brains you've got)
(If you've got any brains)

From those little radios.
From those small radios

So Missus R., with all her trimmin's,
So Mrs. R., with all her adornments

Can broadcast a bed from Simmons
Can advertise a bed from Simmons

'Cause Franklin knows
Because Franklin Roosevelt knows

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable