Anything Goes
Tony Bennett with Count Basie Lyrics

Times have changed
The period we are in is different from the past

And we've often rewound the clock
We have continuously reconsidered the past in the process of evolving

Since the Puritans got a shock
Since some exceptional events happened to the Puritans

When they landed on Plymouth Rock.
During their arrival in Plymouth Rock

If today
If the contemporary people

Any shock they should try to stem
They encounter any exceptional situations

'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Instead of experiencing a common incident

Plymouth Rock would land on them.
An unusual occurrence will happen to them

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
In the past, seeing a bit of the leg which women exposed by wearing stockings was seen as scandalous

Was looked on as something shocking.
It was considered unbelievable and disgraceful

But now, God knows,
But now, goodness gracious

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed

Good authors too who once knew better words
Even good authors who previously used better expressions

Now only use four-letter words
Nowadays, authors use no-frills, straightforward words

Writing prose.
Writing articles or stories

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed

If driving fast cars you like,
If you enjoy speeding in high-end cars

If low bars you like,
If you prefer bars that aren't expensive

If old hymns you like,
If you appreciate ancient religious music

If bare limbs you like,
If you adore scantily dressed people

If Mae West you like,
If you have a thing for Mae West

Or me undressed you like,
Or if you have a liking for seeing me undressed

Why, nobody will oppose.
Nobody will prevent you from doing so

When ev'ry night the set that's smart is in-
When those considered to be fashionable people are present every night

Truding in nudist parties in
Interfering in nudist parties openly

Studios.
(for instance) recording studios

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)
When the wealthy Missus Ned McLean

Can get Russian reds to "yes" her,
Can make the mighty Communist Russians bow to her

Then I suppose
I speculate that

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed

When Rockefeller still can hoard en-
When rich individuals privatize

Ough money to let Max Gordon
Large sums of money to let Max Gordon produce his shows

Produce his shows,
Fund his theatre shows

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed

The world has gone mad today
The world is going insane

And good's bad today,
The bad is considered good

And black's white today,
The blackness is acknowledged as the whiteness

And day's night today,
Daytime is regarded as nighttime nowadays

And that gent today
And that fellow today

You gave a cent today
To whom you gave some money today

Once had several chateaux.
Who once owned several expensive homes

When folks who still can ride in jitneys
When people who still use low-cost public buses

and those pains you've got
And the distress you have

(If any brains you've got)
(If you are wise)

From those little radios.
From listening to radio programs

So Missus R., with all her trimmin's,
So the wealthy Missus R., with all her luxurious accessories

Can broadcast a bed from Simmons
Can promote a bed made by Simmons

'Cause Franklin knows
Since Franklin is aware

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed

When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
If you hear that Lady Mendl is performing a certain acrobatics

Now turns a handspring landing up-
A tumbling maneuver that ends with a clever landing on your feet

On her toes,
On the front part of her feet

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed

Just think of those shocks you've got
Just consider those great surprises you have experienced

And those knocks you've got
And the hits you received

And those blues you've got
And those sad moments you went through

From that news you've got
Due to that information you got

And those pains you've got
And the distress you have

(If any brains you've got)
(If you are wise)

From those little radios.
From listening to radio programs