Double Header
Too $hort Lyrics

Girl why you wanna bother me?
Why are you trying to get in a committed relationship with me?

I already tried that monogamy
I have already been in a committed relationship.

I been stopped datin young college freaks
I am no longer interested in dating college girls.

But don't start tryin to Bill Cosby
Don't try to drug me like Bill Cosby did.

Now get butt-naked let's fuck some mo'
Take off your clothes and let's have sex again.

Bitch, we cain't be the Huxtables
We can't be like the perfect Huxtable family on The Cosby Show.

For me - that's like suicide
Being in a committed relationship is like a death wish for me.

If I ever get married I want two rides!
If I ever get married, I want two women at the same time.

Fatty girl; go and grab a friend for me
Fat girl, go get your friend so we can have a threesome.

One + one could equal three, satisfaction guaranteed
Having a threesome would lead to greater satisfaction.

Hot tub full of Hennessy, do it 'til we overheat
Drink alcohol and have sex in the hot tub until we can't take it anymore.

(One is fun, but two is better; dubba dubba dubba doubleheader)
Having two women is better than one.

Yo' wife is the warden
Your wife controls your life.

Stay out all night she might issue a warrant
If you stay out all night, she might report you to the authorities.

A straight APB
An all points bulletin will be issued for you.

And if you locked out the house you cain't stay with me
If your wife locks you out of the house, you can't stay with me.

Musta got paroled cause you out now
You must have been released from your wife's control.

Last few years you was locked down
You were under your wife's control for a while.

Don't come to my house cause this different here
Don't come to my house if you're under your wife's control.

Better go back home and be Cliff and Claire
You should go back home and try to be like the perfect Huxtable family on The Cosby Show.

I never would marry no Wedding Singer
I wouldn't marry someone like the main character in the movie The Wedding Singer.

I want twins, that look like Brittney Binger
I want two children that look like Brittney Binger, a model.

A pretty actress like Make More Money
I want a beautiful actress who earns a lot of money.

You can have her - gimme two Playboy Bunnies
You can have the pretty actress, I want two women from Playboy.

I tell my wives to cum/come to me
I order my women to come to me.

I know you not havin mo' fun than me
I know that you aren't having more fun than I am.

If you in love need to pop the question
If you're in love, ask your partner to marry you.

If you a player don't stop the session
If you're a player, don't stop having sex with multiple partners.