His second studio album, Bloom (2018), reached number three in Australia and number four on the Billboard 200 chart. Its lead single, "My My My!", became Sivan's second number-one single on the Billboard Dance Club Songs chart. In 2020, his EP In a Dream was released.
As an actor, Sivan portrayed the younger Wolverine in X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) and starred as the titular character in the Spud film trilogy. In 2017, he became the youngest recipient to receive a GLAAD Stephen F. Kolzak Award. In 2018, he received a Golden Globe nomination for Best Original Song for "Revelation", from the film Boy Erased, in which he also had a supporting acting role. He has since starred in the film Three Months (2022) and the series The Idol (2023).
HEAVEN
Troye Sivan Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Like a tear down a cheek
Trying to save face, and daddy heart break
I'm lying through my teeth
This voice inside
Has been eating at me
Trying to replace the love that I fake
The truth runs wild
Like kids on concrete
Trying to sedate, my mind in its cage
And numb what I see
Awake, wide eyed
I'm screaming at me
Trying to keep faith and picture his face
Staring up at me
Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh
So if I'm losing a piece of me
Maybe I don't want heaven?
The truth runs wild
Like the rain to the sea
Trying to set straight the lines that I trace
To find some release
This voice inside
Has been eating at me
Trying to embrace the picture I paint
And colour me free
Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh
So if I'm losing a piece of me
Maybe I don't want heaven?
So I'm counting to fifty
Counting to fifty, counting to fifty
So I'm counting to fifty
Counting to fifty, counting to fifty
So I'm counting to fifty
Counting to fifty, counting to fifty
So I'm counting to fifty
Counting to fifty, counting to fifty
Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh
So if I'm losing a piece of me
Maybe I don't want heaven?
The truth runs wild
Like a tear down a cheek
The song HEAVEN by Troye Sivan explores the inner struggles of someone who is trying to reconcile their sexuality with religious beliefs. The opening line of the song, "The truth runs wild like a tear down a cheek," suggests that the singer is grappling with a difficult truth that he cannot hold back any longer. He references trying to "save face" and hide his true self, as well as lying to himself and others about who he is. The second verse speaks of feeling trapped in his own mind, screaming at himself to "keep faith," but struggling to do so.
Throughout the song, there is a sense of searching for something - "trying to replace the love that I fake with what we both need," "trying to set straight the lines that I trace, to find some release." The repeated phrase "Without losing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven?" suggests that the singer is afraid that fully embracing his true self will make him lose his place in the afterlife or in the eyes of his God. This fear is further emphasized in the final lines of the song, where he considers that he may not even want heaven if it means losing a part of himself.
The song is a moving exploration of the inner turmoil faced by LGBTQ+ individuals who come from religious backgrounds that may not fully accept them. The emotions conveyed are raw and heartfelt, and the lyrics are powerful in their simplicity.
Line by Line Meaning
The truth runs wild
The truth is hard to control and it will always find a way out.
Like a tear down a cheek
It's like a natural, uncontrollable expression of emotion.
Trying to save face, and daddy heart break
Trying to hide the truth to avoid embarrassment or hurting someone close.
I'm lying through my teeth
I'm not being truthful and I'm pretending everything is okay.
This voice inside
A persistent inner voice or feeling that wants to be heard.
Has been eating at me
It has been bothering me and causing anxiety.
Trying to replace the love that I fake
Trying to find a way to truly love instead of pretending to do so.
With what we both need
Trying to find a way to meet both parties' needs.
Like kids on concrete
Being wild and uncontrollable, like children playing on pavement.
Trying to sedate, my mind in its cage
Trying to numb painful emotions that are trapped in the mind.
And numb what I see
Trying to ignore the things that are causing pain.
Awake, wide eyed
Being fully aware and alert.
I'm screaming at me
I'm trying to motivate myself to confront my problems and fears.
Trying to keep faith and picture his face
Trying to stay optimistic and imagine a positive outcome with someone I care about.
Staring up at me
Looking for guidance and support.
Without losing a piece of me
Trying to confront issues without compromising important personal morals or values.
How do I get to heaven?
How do I find peace, happiness, and acceptance?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like life is passing by or being unproductive.
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh
Feeling uncertain about my feelings and decisions.
So if I'm losing a piece of me
If I have to compromise who I am or what I believe in.
Maybe I don't want heaven?
Maybe it's not worth it if I have to give up who I am.
Trying to set straight the lines that I trace
Trying to correct mistakes and create a better path for myself.
To find some release
To relieve myself of anxiety and tension.
Trying to embrace the picture I paint
Trying to accept my choices and desires.
And colour me free
To be completely honest with myself and express my true feelings.
So I'm counting to fifty
Taking a break to gather my thoughts and emotions.
Counting to fifty, counting to fifty
Repeating this practice to calm myself down.
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: ALEX HOPE, CLAIRE ELISE BOUCHER, JACK ANTONOFF, TROYE SIVAN
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@marcossilva-ek1gp
The truth runs wild
Like a tear down a cheek
Trying to save face, and daddy heart break
I'm lying through my teeth
This voice inside
Has been eating at me
Trying to replace the love that I fake
With what we both need
The truth runs wild
Like kids on concrete
Trying to sedate, my mind in its cage
And numb what I see
Awake, wide eyed
I'm screaming at me
Trying to keep faith and picture his face
Staring up at me
Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh
So if I'm losing a piece of me
Maybe I don't want heaven
The truth runs wild
Like the rain to the sea
Trying to set straight the lines that I trace
To find some relief
This voice inside
Has been eating at me
Trying to embrace the picture I paint
And colour me free
Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh
So if I'm losing a piece of me
Maybe I don't want heaven
So I'm counting to fifteen
Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen
So I'm counting to fifteen
Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen
So I'm counting to fifteen
Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen
So I'm counting to fifteen
Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen
Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh
So if I'm losing a piece of me
Maybe I don't want heaven
The truth runs wild
Like a tear down a cheek
@Hirogab
This song means a lot to me as a bisexual trans guy.
The first time I listened to it, I was 14. Things were really hard for me mentally, I was struggling with depression and panic attacks, plus the discomfort of pretending to be someone I wasn't. I already knew Troye and got excited when I saw there was a new music video, I watched it and cried, and then rewatched it and cried again.
This song was there for me when no one else was. I didn't think anyone around me understood what I was feeling, and didn't have the courage to talk about it to confirm or deny my suspicions.
Whenever I felt hurt by ignorant comments from my family, I'd come to this song so I could feel seen and less alone. I got to know a few trans people online at the end of 2017 and it helped me understand myself better.
Almost a year after this song came out, when I was 15, I was outed to the japanese part of my family as trans. To my surprise, they were confused, but were mostly supportive, especially my cousin and grandma (almost 80 years old at the time!) who told me she loved me no matter what and asked me to tell her whenever I struggled.
Not too long after, I came out to my parents by writing a letter, talking not only about being trans, but also about my struggles with mental health at the time. My mom was confused, but tried understanding by doing some research and my dad told me I'm confused and took me to a hypnotherapist who tried to convince me I was a cis girl (clearly didn't work lmao). Me and my dad had a lot of arguments about being trans and he still doesn't call me by my preferred pronouns, but we don't talk about it anymore so we can live at peace most of the time.
Now I'm almost 20 years old and a year and a half on testosterone, planning my top surgery with the support of my mom. She still gets a bit confused but she's supportive of things that bring me happiness.
Sometimes I still listen to this song to remind myself of how much things have changed.
I'll be forever grateful for having this song when I needed it.
@rickydillon
LOVE THIS TROYE
@joshuadiniz684
Ricky Dillon ur late, my child
@indiardia1275
Ricky Dillon SAME
@MileyRo
Ricky Dillon u're always late btw i love u bye
@madday9589
Ricky Dillon ur late lol but so am I and ily btw
@tenspretty
looks like you're not in the notification squad..
@caspar
This is epic
@samyuktha3587
Caspar omg yes.
@lavanya-wo5gj
Caspar holy fuck casp, I completely agree
@moemily8713
YES CASPAR